Last week we published two excerpts from Tracey Cox’s new bookÂ Dare: What Happens When Fantasies Come True, which isÂ available now on Amazon for your Kindle. (Traceyâ€™s Dare product range is alsoÂ available at LoveHoney.) The first excerpt explained how fantasizing can improve your relationship, and the second was the hilarious/cringe-inducing/enlightening/still kind of hot tale about what happened when one woman made her mile-high fantasy come true. Today, Tracey offers up some advice about making your own sexual fantasy come true.
EM & LO: When you were researching women’s fantasies for this book, what was the most common fantasy that you kept seeing?
TRACEY COX: Sleeping with another woman was by far the most common. And itâ€™s one of the fantasies that had a higher success rate when women take it through to reality. People assume women sleep with other women because itâ€™s something men want them to do, but itâ€™s something a lot of women are open to anyway.
What is the most common fantasy that women would actually want to come true?
TC: Experimenting with another woman, followed closely by sleeping with a stranger. That was another strong theme. Itâ€™s a myth that itâ€™s only men who want variety and new flesh. Women do, too. What stops us is weâ€™re more inclined to think things through — and if the relationship is good, lots of women decide the risk of following through and cheating outweighs the benefits. The desire is there though. Definitely!
What are some of the pros and cons about making a fantasy come true?
TC: Any fantasy that involves another body in the bed and a couple who love each other tends to be fraught with danger, because everyone thinks they can separate sex from love and wonâ€™t feel jealous or possessive. But when faced with reality, it all goes out the window. Fantasies that donâ€™t involve other people work quite well for couples though. Role-play, tie up, spanking, sex in public — stuff like that works a treat.
What are some tips you can share about making a fantasy come true?
TC: Talk it through — every possible scenario and detail needs to be covered. Have a safe word and always remember your relationship is more important than the experience. Sometimes just knowing your partner would give it a try is exciting enough, and role-playing it is as far as you decide to go.