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5 Ways to Get Over Your Ex

Mon, Aug 12, 2013

Advice, How To

photo via flickr

Sure, immediately after you’ve been dumped, you’ll probably want to do nothing more than drown your sorrows in cheap wine while watching the entire series of Felicity on Netflix. Twice. But after a while, those hangovers will get old, and you’ll find yourself ready to do something other than sob into your pillow. When you reach that point, here are some things to try…

1. Get Busy
Start a blog, take up a new hobby (preferably one where you’ll meet new people, like joining a running club), read a novel, write a novel, paint your room, learn how to take really good photographs, sort out your closet and host a clothing swap, learn chess with a friend, teach yourself Chinese—basically, keep yourself busy with something that will make you feel good about yourself afterwards. (Meaning, watching Felicity a third time doesn’t count.)

2. Look Better
We like to call this a “breakover”—because nothing will motivate you more on the treadmill than the revenge of looking hotter than ever post-breakup. Work out, eat right, learn how to lift weights, get a new haircut, take up hot yoga, pluck your nose hair, do a hundred sit-ups before every shower… by the time you’ve done all this, you’ll have forgotten who you were trying to get revenge on in the first place.

3. Be Better
Volunteer somewhere. Because nothing puts your own problems in perspective like helping out people who are even less fortunate than you are. You know, people who fought for their country and ended up in a wheelchair; people who are dying in a nursing home with no one to visit them; kids who have nowhere to go after school; people who can’t get a date to the soup kitchen. We won’t be so crass as to suggest you might meet someone new this way, but we know it crossed your mind. We won’t tell.

4. Use the Power of Negative Thinking
You know what? It wasn’t a perfect relationship. We don’t care how in love you were, we’re sure you can find something negative to focus on. Prematurely yellowing toe-nails? Bad tipper? Weak chin? Meditate on these attributes every time you’re tempted to don the rose-colored glasses and reminisce about your asshole ex.

5. And Then Think Positively
Odds are, you will love again. Seriously, it’s statistically highly unlikely that you will die alone, with only seven cats for company. Or maybe you will die alone surrounded by your cats, but we’re pretty sure you’ll have squeezed in a decades-long happy marriage first. You’ll have sex again. You’ll have regrettable sex again. You’ll have bad dates again, and good dates again, and eventually you’ll have a date that’s so awesome you’ll want to call up your ex and thank them for dumping you so that you could meet the new love of your life. We know your mom is probably telling you the same thing right now, but we’re not your mom. We hardly know you! And when we agree with your mom, you know the truth is being told.

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This article originally appeared on ArchetypeMe.com

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2 Responses to “5 Ways to Get Over Your Ex”

  1. Michael Says:

    I’m like 99% sure I read this word for word on Nerve like 5 years ago. :P

  2. emandlo Says:

    Ha! Try 10 years ago. It’s certainly not word for word, but some of our excellent advice is bound to be evergreen! :)


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