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Is Cuckolding a Real Trend, Or Just Another Internet Meme?

Mon, Aug 5, 2013

Advice, Dear Em & Lo, Your Call

photo via flickr

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your thoughts in the comments section. 

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Dear Em & Lo,

A lot of erotica & porn is devoted to cuckolding (either interracial or less racially oriented). Observers claim that many women are happily liberating their “inner slut” by freely exploring their sexuality, mostly via fuck-buddy-style sex with partners outside their primary relationship (boyfriend or spouse), & often with BF or husband’s permission, encouragement or participation.

Is all this supposed increase in women being free to “fuck around like men do” just another internet meme or popular theme in porn — or is such a phenomenon truly occurring to any significant degree? The blogs (tumblr & elsewhere) that flaunt amateur pics & video are quite numerous, so I wonder if this might in fact be a growing subculture, in the US & Europe. Any insight you can offer?

– Cuckold-Curious

Leave your thoughts for C.C. in the comments section below!


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15 Responses to “Is Cuckolding a Real Trend, Or Just Another Internet Meme?”

  1. Johnny Says:

    It’s both. It’s a real fetish that got memed up, which increased awareness of the fetish, and attracted even more enthusiasts. Now it’s an incredibly common one for men and women, although I’d guess that most couples still keep it in the realm of fantasy without actually acting it out.

  2. JustSomeGuy Says:

    Penthouse Forum had stories about “wife-watching” decades ago: it seems like a kink with a history. If the “Sex at Dawn”/”sperm competition” people are to be believed, the idea of a man getting of on the idea of “his” woman (please note the scare quotes) being with another guy may even be something we’re hard-wired for.

    The whole racial thing is another question though. It’s really, really disturbing, and any focus on that in, say, a story, ruins so much of what makes the idea hot.

  3. Meldrick Says:

    I could not agree more with that last sentence. It ruins so many otherwise good erotic stories on various erotic story websites.

    Also, don’t forget that the possibility that “women are happily liberating their *inner slut* by freely exploring their sexuality” doesn’t necessarily mean cuckolding. It could mean swinging, or polyamory, or some other setup.

  4. Bob T. Says:

    Must admit, I’ve developed a thing for married ladies. Reason is that when you get together, there’s none of this courtship drama, no ‘rescue me.’ Just straight-up sex. The less complication, the better it is and they know it.

    As for their relationship with the husband, that’s none of my business. I do insist on discretion, and make it clear i have no interest in disrupting the marriage. I do slightly know a few of the guys, and my impression is that I’m doing them a favor.

    Besides, I just flat do not believe that anyone has a right to demand sexual fidelity of a partner. If you feel like it, you are. And if not, you don’t.

  5. Mistress Susan Says:

    I am a dominatrix to a white clientele, and I can tell you that my top 2 requests are cuckolding with a black man involved and male sex with a black man.

    For some men, cuckolding is about humiliation. For others, it is strictly a turn-on to just watch another man with his wife. Keep in mind, too, that this genre draws the educated crowd, which is why it is often called the PhD of Kink.

  6. Ferdinand Says:

    @ Bob T: Your “impression is that I‚Äôm doing them a favor.” What gives you that impression? Did you make that up to assuage your guilt, or have you asked these guys (who you know) whether they mind what you’re up to? You think no one has the “right to demand sexual fidelity from a partner.” Really? Based on what? What if two people pledge fidelity to one another? Just doesn’t count, because you have a different view? Do you have any idea how toxic infidelity is? Head in the sand just a bit, Bob T?

  7. John Says:

    I was in a pseudo cuckold relationship and loved it.
    I say pseudo because we cuckolded each other from time to time. She did most of the activity but once in awhile I’d bring another girl home. She was Bi.
    She loved “catching” me in the act with another girl and then joining in.

    90% of the time it was her with other men either in front of me or just before I got home.

    There was never any interracial stuff or bisexual acts by me ever. That would’ve been a turn off for her although I was open to be orally giving but that’s it.
    I DID however eat creampies on the occasion when it was safe to go bareback.
    That was as far as our humiliation ever went. Well, it went further in the sense that she would pick up guys at the club I worked at…so I could see things progress and so could my coworkers…Often they would tell me they saw my GF dancing/making out/leaving with another guy. I just casually said we have an open relationship and would play off as super confident….truth is I liked that humiliation. I liked knowing that everyone knew my girl was going to get fucked by some dude at closing time and that I would be going home to her after I clocked out. She always had between an hour and an hour and a half to get home and get fucked…often she’d time it so that I’d see him leaving and going to his car as I was pulling up. I would text her when I left work so she could do that. I loved knowing I was getting fresh seconds!

    The range of emotions though was the real high…being trapped at work yet seeing her do her thing and knowing she was going to get fucked before I got home was very intense…it was a turn on but also there’s fear, jealousy, humiliation and I would often get a knot in my stomach and feel like I was in a bubble…

    I would never want to be a feminized or denied cuckold though…I like to get seconds…although SOME chastity play, would be fun I in no way would ever want that as a lifestyle.

  8. sublithium Says:

    I would say it is both. But, and a very important but. I think the fantasy is the powerful thing and most men, if they want to live this fantasy out, they do so in a Pseudo fantasy way. Meaning they usually would go to say…a dominatrix, in which he would be cuckolded by the dominatrix instead of his actual wife. As for this in porn, it is quite common and becoming much more visible and popular in the Female Domination/Fetish scene.

  9. Hotwife4him Says:

    My husband got me into “hotwifing” which was weird before I learned to enjoy it. The variety was great and some were just much better than my husband.

    It became more of a cuckolding thing when I started doing it more often and for my own pleasure rather than for hubby’s kink.

    The cuck aspect was more intense as I would lose interest in sex with my husband when my needs were better met from a lover.

    I have two married friends that are involved in the Hotwife / Cuckold fetish. I would think that it is indeed on the rise.

  10. Alessio Says:

    My wife cheated on me after 5 years of marriage; she was in the wedding party of her sister’s wedding and she gave one of the men in the party a handjob in the limo when riding from the church to the reception. She had been egged on by other girls in the party, who knew she admired this man, who she had referred to as “gorgeous” and “irresistable” several times during the church mass.

    I found out through her cousin, a female, who was in the limo at the time. She was actually upset that my wife had given in to the prompting, and at the reception she told me that, “Your wife did something in the limo that IS ground or divorce. She would not give me specifics but she told me in front of my wife, who rushed over to me when her cousin was ratting her out, who told me, “Nothing happened, Lynn mis-interpreted things”.

    Anyway, the handjob was corroborated over the next several days by others who had been in the limo.

    We went on to have a happy, successful marriage, with four children, including triplets. Rather than continually pressure my wife, who denies she had cheated untill this day, I had decided to ask her if she found herself fantasizing about other men. Slowly over time, we started bringing home other men and women, and we started having sex with these people. We have gotten into cuckolding, group sex, threesomes, foursomes, etc, but we both agree that ww must never do it without the other’s knowledge, otherwise it becomes cheating.

    We are happy as can be; we put all of our children thru college. One is in law school, one has her masters in education, one is an executive for a wireless service provider, one is a music teacher, and she is studying for her masters, and she has hervown vocal studio. We just married off one of them.

    Sex is fun, sex is good, sex is lustful and enjoyable. If both members of the couple agree, then by all means sexual adventure is a plus for the marriage. If cheating is ruling the day, then of course it will destroy the marriage.

  11. Jenny Says:

    Well, the whole hotwifing thing does exist and yes, I would say that it is becoming increasingly popular. At 46 years of age, I am proud to be referred to as a hotwife myself and I know many other wives that are now into it too. I work with several in a small office, I have friends into it, neighbors, my cousin and even my husband’s older sister just to name a few. We believe that it has become popular because it serves the wife but suits everyone involved. It just works because everyone wins. I love all the attention, the sexual freedom and exciting variety. My 49 year-old husband loves the new sexy me, loves to witness my orgasms and wants me more than ever. My male sex partners just love the situation, simple no strings guaranteed sex. It removes the need to cheat and avoids all the negative effects of deceit, secrecy and the exclusions associated with cheating.If consenting adults make this choice, share in the experiences, then where is the harm?

  12. M&J Says:

    It is very real and growing extremely fast.
    seems to be many different levels now.
    some call it a Hotwife lifestyle some call it a cuckolding lifestyle
    but to us one does not work with out the other.. you need a hotwife to be a cuckold and to be a cuckold you need a hotwife


  13. JA Says:

    It’s real and some people have an large attraction towards the thought. Even men who are married gain pleasure from the thought of their wife being “taken” by another man.

  14. me Says:

    more guys are into it than admit to it

  15. DandJ Says:

    My wife and I have played with the fantasy for over a year. And then just 2 nights ago we invited an educated young hung Carribean fella over for some fun. Wife enjoyed all 5 orgasms over the 2 straight hours of their intercourse. I watched every second of my wife being satisfied in ways I could never satisfy her. And it brought me the same satisfaction. Recommend it to anyone who is interested in it.

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