Reader Finikki said the following in response to our post, “Your Call: Is This a FWB Situation or Something More?”
When someone tells you they donâ€™t want a relationship, believe them.
Donâ€™t make the mistake of thinking that experiencing intimacy with someone (like cuddling and talking for hours) necessarily means they want a relationship. People who want sex but donâ€™t want relationships can crave intimacy like that just as much as anyone else. Especially if they were recently in a long-term relationship where sex and intimacy often went hand-in-hand. It could be nothing more than habit.
But his actions arenâ€™t the real question here. The question is, what do YOU want? You donâ€™t say that you want a relationship with him, you just sound hopeful that he wants one. If youâ€™re looking for a relationship, be honest with yourself and him and donâ€™t waste your time on someone not interested in that.
If thatâ€™s what you want, tell him. If he â€śdoesnâ€™t want to put a label on itâ€ť (a common way to continue an FWB relationship when the other party wants something more), you have your answer. Move on and find someone who wants to really be with you. Donâ€™t keep sleeping with him and using him as a surrogate boyfriend if you want a real commitment.