Whether you’re married, dating, single and loving it, or desperately seeking some lovin’, here are ten sexy things you can give thanks for this Thanksgiving. Consider this your holiday gratitude journal — except we already wrote it for you… one more thing to be thankful for. You’re welcome!
1. The Sex Toy Revolution
Once upon a time, sex toys were cheap nasty plastic things designed “for novelty use” only, and about as likely to get you off as a¬†Geraldo Riviera topless selfie. These days, sex toy shoppers can choose from a huge variety of well-designed, well-made, gorgeous toys that are good for your body, good for the environment, and fantastic for your sex life. Don’t forget to tell Santa that you plan to be naughty and nice.
2. Sex Advice Wants to Be Free!
Back when sex toys were cheap nasty plastic things, sex advice columnists were a rare breed and most of the sex advice out there was the watered-down kind that advertisers in glossy magazines could stomach. These days, the web is littered with free sex advice columns, so it’s easier than ever to improve your own sex life. Not so good for our career prospects; excellent for your love life prospects.
3. Feminist Porn
Erika Lust and a bunch of women like her are now making erotic films that won’t make you feel icky (or, at least, will only make you feel icky for all the right reasons).
4. Your Mind Is a Fantasy Island
Here’s something that’s always been true: What goes on in your dirty little mind is nobody’s business but your own, and this is true whether you’re single, dating, or married for twenty years. Go ahead and break every rule in the sex book in your own head, we won’t tell.
5. Safer Sex Is Sexier Than Ever
Along with the sex toy revolution came a much wider choice in terms of condoms, both male and female. And we’re not talking about blue vs. green or red vs. gold, a la Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. We mean it’s now easier than ever to find the condom that fits you just perfectly, and maybe even adds a little extra sensation for you and your partner.
6. Masturbation Is Free… and Calorie-Free
So give yourself a good stuffing this Thanksgiving, heh heh.
7. Let Me Google That For You
Wondering if it’s normal to be a virgin at twenty-six? Wondering what percentage of women orgasm without clitoral stimulation? Wondering if you can get the HPV vaccine if you’re thirty? Wondering what condoms feel best? Wondering if the female condom is worth a try? Wondering what the hell the P-spot is? There was a time when we did all this wondering but Google wasn’t there to clear things up in the privacy of our own homes.
8. Gay Marriage Is Spreading Like Sunshine
At this point, it’s only a matter of time until it’s legal in all fifty states. Bring it on!
9. 2013 Is (Mostly) a Good Time to Be Having Sex
Remember when gay sex and birth control were both illegal? Remember when more people were dying from AIDS than living with it? Remember when doctors tried to “cure” women’s “hysteria” with industrial-strength vibrators? Remember when the clitoris didn’t get invited to the party? Yeah, neither do we. Consider yourselves lucky.
10. Yours Truly
We know it’s not polite to toot your own horn, as it were, but we’ve been dishing out sex advice for free on a daily basis since 1999. That’s almost fifteen years, people. In other words, longer than a lot of marriages, longer than most people stick with a job, longer than either Facebook or Twitter has been around. We don’t expect a medal (unless you have a medal, in which case we’d gladly accept one) but we thought you might like to know that someone has been there for you every day for the past fifteen years.