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Comment of the Week: Friends with Benefits Starts with Friends

Wed, Nov 6, 2013

Comment of the Week, Confessions

Reader Anathema said the following in response to our post, “Your Call: Is This a FWB Situation or Something More?” We’re pretty sure she’s the most well-adjusted friend-with-benefits we’ve ever heard of!

I had a wonderful FWB thing with a guy for 2 1/2 years. He and I were both in open relationships (which is why it ended–his fiancee decided to change the rules which, fair enough, though sad). B

But when we were first talking about the possibility, he was very nervous because he’d had an FWB thing in the recent past that went very, very badly–basically with a woman who wanted sex and sex only and was just weird and mean to him, didn’t respect his boundaries, etc. I told him that “friends with benefits” starts with “friends” as far as I’m concerned.

We had a lot of great sex but we also went snowboarding, did geeky gaming together, lunch in the park, shopping at Target, etc. He really did become one of my best friends, and blessedly, after some awkwardness and readjustment, that seems to be holding. We already have our ski passes for this winter!

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