Em & Lo's RSS Feed Em & Lo's Daily Email Feed Be Our Facebook Friend! Follow Us on Twitter!
Burlesque and Retro Lingerie

Good Vibes Spring Sex Toys

Buy on Amazon Kindle!

Amazon's Sexy Spring Dresses

Your Shakespearean Stars: 01-20-14

Mon, Jan 20, 2014


photo by Ell Brown

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) 

This week, the Bard tells you how to be…

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
“To gild refined gold, to paint the lily, To throw a perfume on the violet, To smooth the ice, or add another hue Unto the rainbow, or with taper-light To seek the beauteous eye of heaven to garnish, Is wasteful and ridiculous excess.”
— King John, act IV, sc. ii

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
“Therefore love moderately; long love doth so; Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.”
— Romeo and Juliet, act II, sc. vi

gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
“A scepter snatch’d with an unruly hand Must be as boisterously maintain’d as gain’d; And he that stands upon a slippery place Makes nice of no vile hold to stay him up.”
— King John, act III, sc. iv

cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd)
“Better a little chiding than a great deal of heartbreak.”
— The Merry Wives of Windsor, act V, sc. iii

leo (July 23rd-Aug. 22nd)
“Bid me discourse, I will enchant thine ear.”
— Venus and Adonis, l. 145.

virgo (Aug. 23rd-Sept. 22nd)
It is too rash, too unadvis’d, too sudden; Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be Ere one can say it lightens.”
— Romeo and Juliet, act II, sc. ii

libra (Sept. 23rd-Oct. 23rd)
“Confess yourself to heaven; Repent what’s past; avoid what is to come.”
— Hamlet, act III, sc. iv.

scorpio (Oct. 24th-Nov. 22nd)
“Commit The oldest sins the newest kind of ways.”
— King Henry the Fourth, act IV, sc. v

sagittarius (Nov. 23rd-Dec. 21st)
“I count myself in nothing else so happy As in a soul remembering my good friends.”
— King Richard the Second, act II, sc. iii

capricorn (Dec. 22nd-Jan. 20th)
“Your wit’s too hot, it speeds too fast, ’twill tire.”
— Love’s Labour’s Lost, act II, sc. i

aquarius (Jan. 21st-Feb. 18th)
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
— Hamlet, act II, sc. ii

pisces (Feb. 19th-Mar. 20th)
“This bud of love, by summer’s ripening breath, May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet.”
— Romeo and Juliet, act II, sc. ii



Leave a Reply