At what point can we all agree that jokes about protruding inner labia are (a) way past their sell date (seriously, Dane Cook? A “box of cow tongues”? A “high school play curtain”? Are you working from the junior high book of jokes here?); (b) douchey in the extreme; and (c) seriously damaging to women’s self-confidence. Guys, if you really want women to enjoy sex more, then stop criticizing their labia. Stop comparing their labia to roast beef, or slices of ham, or any other kind of meat. If you insist on recycling material from seventh grade, then stick with fart jokes, please. For those just getting with the program, this week’s comment by Thee (abridged; you can read the comment in full here), in response to our post, “Wise Guys: Do Men Care What Labia Look Like?” Â should seal the deal. Hint: Even if a woman is laughing at your “joke” — in fact, especially if she’s laughing — doesn’t mean she’s not dying a little inside.
I really am not fond of my labia. At all. Like someone else said, I donâ€™t remember them growing, I just know that at some point I realized they were large. I was just looking at them one day thinking all kinds of things. â€śWhy are they stretchy looking? Why are they brown? Why arenâ€™t they like tucked in? What the hell is a vagina typically supposed to look like anyway? Is this right? I wonder how many other girls look like this? Did I go years unconsciously pulling at myself or something? They hang. Why? Guys are going to have to adjust their eyes when they see my (Dane Cook large labia reference here) high school play curtains. They’re so ugly. And wrinkly. I need them chopped.â€ť These things still go through my head when Iâ€™m changing in a mirror.
I go back and forth between those things and thinking to myself, â€śItâ€™s not a big deal. The guys youâ€™ve been with have NOT EVER complained. Your ex bf said he liked themÂ a lot, youâ€™re fine. Shut up.â€ť
But I hear so many negative jokes about them. The other day my guy friends were talking about lip size. I just ha-haâ€™d and stayed balls deep into my phone like I didnâ€™t care about the subject, but I was listening quite intently. The guys never came right out and said they prefer porn-like pussies (â€śpretty in pink” or “tucked awayâ€ť as I think of them). They just made jokes about larger labia. The play curtain joke came up, as well as the beef curtain joke. I forced myself to laugh, but I felt so abnormal and insecure about myself.