Is “I Love You, But…” Always a Dealbreaker?

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Dear Em & Lo,

What do I do when a guy says he loves me, but he won’t commit to being my boyfriend? Does he really love me?

— Miss Interpreted

Dear M.I.,

Here’s your short answer: Run away! No, he doesn’t really love you!

Here’s your long answer: Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! No, he doesn’t really love you! No, he doesn’t really love you! No, he doesn’t really love you! No, he doesn’t really love you! No, he doesn’t really love you! No, he doesn’t really love you! No, he doesn’t really love you! No, he doesn’t really love you! No, he doesn’t really love you! No, he doesn’t really love you!

Okay, seriously, we can think of maybe a handful of reasons why somebody may really actually honestly love you but be unable to commit to being your boyfriend:

1. He’s already taken. In which case, like, we said: Run away!

2. He loves you like a sister. In which case: Run away! Because you’ll never get out of the sister zone.

3. He’s gay and loves you like a beard. (Er, do we even need to say it?)

4. He’s in the C.I.A.

5. He’s in jail.

More likely, however, that he just wants to screw your brains out, and he thinks that the sex will be better — or at least, more available to him — if he tells you he loves you. Love is complicated, sure, but it’s not that complicated.

Love ya!

Em & Lo

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3 Comments on "Is “I Love You, But…” Always a Dealbreaker?"


Nikki
1 year 2 months ago

You are the experts, after all. :)

Nikki
1 year 2 months ago

When I read this, I thought surely Em and Lo couldn’t have written it. Please tell me your tongues are lodged firmly in cheek. It is definitely possible to love someone but be unable to commit to them. As to what you should do? Just get on with your life, find someone else. But I’m not sure you need to flee the guy like a burning building unless you know you are incapable of moving on otherwise.