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Write a Sexy World Cup Haiku, Win $200 to Spend at LELO

Mon, Jun 30, 2014

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Did your male sports fan partner miss the memo about buying you a sex toy before the World Cup? Or did you yourself miss the memo and your partner is now wondering where her pleasure object is? Well, here’s your chance to win $200 to spend at LELO and make amends, no matter who wins the World Cup.

As we reported here recently, men account for four of every five sex toy transactions at LELO.com in the week before a big sporting event. (Normally their transactions are split 50-50, men-women.) And these aren’t male toys the dudes are buying: the purchases are decidedly female in nature. We’re not sure whether this is an evolved form of sexual bribery, but we like the trend about a million times more than that other sports-viewing statistic — the one about the rise in domestic violence after major sporting events. Could it be that vibrators are saving the world?

In honor of this sporting-related upswing in sex toy purchases by men, we are pleased to announce our latest LELO contest: Write a World Cup-themed sexy haiku in the comments section below for a chance to win a $200 gift certificate to LELO!¬†We’ll announce the winner on the day of the World Cup final.

Here are the rules:

1. Post a haiku in the comments section below, or submit via our contact form here Рenter as many times as you like! Just remember to follow the 5/7/5 syllable format.

2. Deadline is end of day Friday, July 11th (so we can announce the winner on Sunday, the day of the final!).

3. Bonus points if your haiku mentions LELO or a LELO toy.

4. Even more bonus points if you post your haiku to Facebook or Twitter (don’t forget to let us know if you do this).

5. Automatic disqualification for anything too graphic.

6. You must be 18 or over to enter.

7. When you fill out the comment section below or send us a haiku via our contact form, make sure you include a viable email address (which we will keep private) so we can contact you in case you win.

8. Winners who do not claim their prize by responding to the private email from Em & Lo within seven days forfeit their prize, at which time another best haiku will be chosen.

Happy Haiku-ing! And don’t forget that¬†LELO¬†is currently offering FREE SHIPPING on any order made during the international futbol¬†tournament.¬†Just use code ‚ÄúBRAZIL‚ÄĚ at checkout on¬†LELO.com. Finally:¬†Goooooo U.S.A.!

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13 Responses to “Write a Sexy World Cup Haiku, Win $200 to Spend at LELO”

  1. Dave W Says:

    “That’s a one-way street!”
    Is how I used to protest
    BOB melted my brain

  2. Dave W Says:

    Monica role play
    Under the Resolute desk
    That’s a big cigar!

  3. Dave W Says:

    I made a mobile
    To hold my LELO sex toys
    Just call me Calder

  4. Dave W Says:

    Alternate to my first haiku:

    “That’s exit only!”
    Is how I used to protest
    BOB melted my brain

  5. Dave W Says:

    That humming you hear?
    It’s our handyman ORA
    Pipe down over there!

  6. Dave W Says:

    Oh shit! I shouldn’t multitask when reading haiku instructions. Sorry, no World Cup theme in my entries. Feel free to delete my previous ones and I’ll have another go at it.

  7. Dave W Says:

    A sports bar daydream
    The Adidas Brazuca
    Looks like my LELO

  8. Katie R Says:

    Neymar on the brain,
    My LELO in bed with me
    That’s a golazo!

  9. Dave W Says:

    Two hours of running
    Footballers have stamina
    ISLA lasts longer

  10. Molly M Says:

    Playing on the field.
    Running, panting, and sweating.
    Winning with a goal.

  11. Molly+M Says:

    The ball and the field.
    Take full control of Lyla.
    You have possession.

  12. Mark Says:

    Hands are not allowed
    In World Cup soccer, but are
    Encouraged in bed!

    Don’t commit a foul,
    Lest you feel the wrong end of
    A penalty kick.

    Just like orgasms,
    Multiples are pretty fun:
    Goal goal goal goal goal!

    Endurance is key
    In soccer and the bedroom.
    Let LELO assist!

    They’re not just for kicks.
    You’ll be playing extra time:
    LELO Luna Beads.

    With LELO Ida,
    You’ll be a FIFA World Champ
    Scoring in the box.

    (Of all the contests
    I’ve entered over the years,
    Love to win this one!)

  13. Sand Says:

    Ora the pitch, come Klose
    Liv for football, Lelo making me Mona
    Faster Soraya, leaving me Messi!


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