There’s been a lot of media drooling over the latest research which suggests that withdrawal may be a legitimate form of birth control. This is great news for couples in long-term, monogamous, committed relationships who have complete trust in one another, who have made an educated decision to be bodily-fluid bonded, and who would not be too bummed with an unintended pregnancy. But we’re guessing the majority of sex going on in the world does not fall into this category of relationship. More often it’s sex of a slightly more casual nature (think drunken Saturday night strangers, office workers after the holiday party, a friend consoling another needy friend, exes returning to the well, spouses cheating on each other, teenagers experimenting, online daters, etc., etc.) — all situations where “pull and pray” is a dumb-ass idea. So before you go throwing your condoms away, please consider this:
- Control — Ladies, when you rely on the withdrawal method, you are relinquishing all control over your birth control. You’re basically losing autonomy over your body, relying on another being to do (it) right by you. Women have fought too long and hard for the freedom to make their own choices about their own bodies for you to just pass that power over to a dude.
- Pre-ejaculate — Most experts agree that after a man ejaculates but before he urinates, sperm can hang out in his piping. Which means if he goes for round two before a whiz, there’s a good chance his little swimmers will ride the wave of his pre-ejaculatory fluid (a.k.a. pre-come) into your love bay, rendering a perfectly timed pull-out pointless.
- Poor performance — Guys, you know how some orgasms are: you lose sense of time and space, you lose the ability to think straight and speak normally, and you lose control of all facial expressions. Something with that kind of power over your mind and body can and most likely will throw off your timing, as well as your best intentions. Sure, a small, rational part of your brain may be planning on pulling out, but in the heat of the moment, every other fiber of your being is telling you not to do that. Who are you gonna put your money on?
- STDs, STDs, STDs! This is a biggie. Condoms significantly reduce the risk of STD transmission — that’s what makes them so great (well that, and the easy clean-up). With withdrawal, you’ve got nothing — you’re just giving bacteria, viruses and parasites unlimited backstage access to your or your partner’s naughty bits.
- Liars — Again ladies, there are plenty of jerks out there. (You gals can be bad too, but that’s another post entirely.) Some guys will say and do anything to ride bareback, even when they know it’s not true — e.g. “I just got tested, I’m clean,” or “I’ve got great timing” or “I’ve never not used a condom with anyone else before” or “I love you” or “Trust me.” Basically, if a guy says “Trust me” when he’s asking you to engage in risky sexual behavior, don’t!