1. A well-designed sex toy can make a fabulous gift.
Birthdays, Mother’s Day, Just Because Day, whenever. Well, perhaps not if you’ve been on just a date or two — but if you’re in the kind of serious long-term relationship where you’ve met each other’s parents and explored each other’s orifices, then giving your partner a sex toy is a pretty awesome way to stand out from the crowd. Sex toy packaging and design has improved immeasurably over the past few years, and classy gift sets look sensual and romantic, like the Adore Me kit by LELO, which comes with a red lipstick vibe, a red silk blindfold, red silk and suede wrist restraints, and a satin storage pouch.
2. Mind games in the bedroom can be the best thing that ever happened to your relationship.
Don’t mess with each other’s heads when it comes to calling when you say you will or showing up on time for a romantic candlelit dinner. But do mess with each other in bed: Play games, tease the hell out of each other, tickle fight, wrestle, take charge, give up control, talk really dirty, choose a safeword and then fight each other off… whatever strikes your fancy. Just be sure to spoon when it’s all over.
3. It’s not nerdy or needy or unsexy to want to learn more about sex.
It doesn’t mean you’re in a rut, either. It just means you don’t want to lie back and think of England in the same position for the remaining decades of your sex life. Check out a book like 150 Shades of Play (by, er, yours truly) for tutorials on everything from bondage knots to dirty talk. We guarantee it’ll be a night to remember (without spending a month’s paycheck at the French Laundry).
4. Lube is not a crutch.
In fact, we happen to think it’s one of the best damn investments you can make in your sex life. Go for a decent water-based lubricant like Liquid Silk.
5. Lovers share their fantasies… but not all of them.
Sharing a fantasy with your partner is an awesome way to show them how much you trust them (you trust them to keep your secret, to not laugh, etc.) — it’s like an X-rated version of that trust-falling game. Plus it tells your partner how much they turn you on. Try sharing a fantasy during sex, whispering it low like dirty talk—and then ask your partner to do the same. Just remember to save a few fantasies for yourself—we all need those!
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