Your Call: Can a Relationship Work If One Person Is More Into It?

Question of the week: Can a relationship survive if one person loves their partner more than the other loves them back?

Women have been told for generations — usually by their mothers or aunts or grandmothers — that they should “marry a man who loves you just a little more than you love him.” It’s depressing and old school and just plain bad advice, if you ask us. But perhaps we’re naive — is it overly optimistic to assume that it’s possible to love your partner exactly the same amount as he or she loves you back? Sure, we understand that feelings ebb and flow over the years — even from day to day or minute to minute. But we’re talking about the macro level here:  Is it even possible to find someone who loves you equally to the way you love them? If it is, should this be the ideal? And can a relationship survive if this ideal is not achieved? Finally, is there ever a situation when it would be better to love more or less than your partner?

Share your thoughts in the comments section below. Feel free to share your gender, age, and relationship status if you feel it’s pertinent to your answer (and we think it probably is!).


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13 Comments on "Your Call: Can a Relationship Work If One Person Is More Into It?"

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Ashley Clements

im sorta in a relationship but I really like this guy but don’t get to see him im hoping ill c him again I miss him very much I met him here in a womans shelter


girls listen to Brad Paisleys song Mona Lisa. always make sure you are his Mona Lisa and accept nothing less

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years I have always felt like I have been more into it but then I feel my spark and feelings have never changed I know he does love me because he has stuck by me through my mental illness and so forth he has made me happy and believe in my self but then other times I feel the opposite where he is distant I don’t know if I’m overly affectionate or if he’s lost interest it’s killing me inside because I thought he was the one but sometimes… Read more »

Well, before my current relationship with my fiancee (with whom it feels pretty equal), I’ve only ever been in relationships where I was way more into it. So I don’t know about being with someone who loves you more, but I think a relationship is probably better when both people love each other equally.


Yes, but wouldn’t you then be more tempted to cheat on him? Is he OK with an open marriage?
Single woman 30


I’ve certainly heard of this statement.

Just because it’s a cliche, it doesn’t make them false. A cliche is…because it happens more often than not.

I think there is a difference between being needy of the other person and loving them a lot. Love is not neediness, love is that selfless feeling you get towards the other person. I’m going to stop trying to describe love any more because it’s impossible! I am 26 and recently married, but I’ve been in a relationship with my husband for 8 years. I think we love each other equally, and always have. However the issues have been where I have been more needy of him than he is of me. Things balanced out when I sorted out my… Read more »