We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section.
Dear Em & Lo,
I am a very open-minded female with a slight obsession with exploring my sexuality & personality. I am in the 3rd year of a relationship with a sailor. It was deep love from day one and still is — a very surprising concept for myself & my close friends, as I have a lot of love to give, I just don’t necessarily commit to relationships.
We lived happily together before he started his journey in the Navy a year ago. He is now on his first deployment (9 months with 10 days off half way through) and I want to ask him for an open relationship while he is gone.
He is very accepting of my erratic personality and in April I tried to ‘take a break’ as I needed my time to be my time. The relationship lines ended up blurred and I kissed, got to know & slept with a handful of people, but didn’t do it in the best way, therefore I hurt my boyfriend.
He chose to accept that it happened and move on, which is far more than I could have asked. I don’t have boundaries. I love meeting new people and getting to know everything about them and will always find myself attracted to a person I connect with (not necessarily sexually).
Am I poly? Is this a case of right person wrong time? Maybe I’m just a massive slut? How do I ask the man of my dreams for an open relationship when he is stuck on a boat with no open relationship options of his own? I know that he wouldn’t want to explore that for himself anyway, as he is very much a monogamous person. I don’t want to cheat and I don’t want break up. I just have a lot of love to give.
— Home, Not Alone