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Top 10 Unsexy Things That Can Improve Your Sex Life

March 22, 2013


Improving your sex life isn’t always about switching positions or adding more lube (though those things can help, too). Here are ten everyday things you can do to improve your sex life.

1. Get a good night’s sleep.
When you’re tired or stressed you feel unsexy and irritable. And have you ever noticed how, after a bad night’s sleep, you’re always disappointed by your reflection in the mirror? Bad body image leads to bad or no sex. Plus, tired people tend to choose more sleep over sex. On the other hand, well-rested people have more energy and feel more positive toward the people around them. And yes, by “more positive” we mean “can’t wait to jump their bones.”

2. Go to the gym.
Endorphins and improved blood flow from exercise mimic sexual desire, which sneakily puts you in the mood. The improved body image you’ll experience after a work-out doesn’t hurt either.

3. Get an STD checkup.
Because knowledge is power and power is sexy and knowing about your own body is the sexiest power there is. It’s just good to know, people.

4. Eat Grape Nuts for breakfast.
Or any high-fiber cereal, really. Fiber keeps everything clean and healthy down there, which means you’l be more comfortable having all your various orifices explored.

5. Get a mani-pedi.
Or a massage or a haircut or anything involving a stranger touching you kinda sensually but not sexually. It’s all about waking up your nerve endings, a.k.a. foreplay, baby!

6. Go on a date to a karaoke bar.
Intimacy in a long-term relationship is great, but it’s easy to take those long-term partners for granted. One way to create a little erotic distance — so you can step by and admire your partner — is to pretend you’re each other’s groupies. Hit me with your best shot!

7. Practice yoga.
Here are five good reasons why yoga improves your sex life. (And no, it has nothing to do with increased flexibility or public orgasms during class.)

8. Ride a rollercoaster.
An adrenaline rush feels an awful lot like getting turned on, physiologically speaking, and there is a natural spill-over effect. Especially if you hold hands during the scary parts! (Horror movies are a slightly more convenient way to achieve the same effect.)

9. Keep a gratitude journal.
At the end of each day, write down three things you are grateful for, no matter how trivial (e.g. an exciting Bachelor finale). You’ll probably be pleasantly surprised by (a) how much you have to be happy about, and (b) how this feeling trickles through to your love life.

10. Shower (or take a bath) at night.
After a long day at the office, it can feel like it’s in your pores — the way your cubicle smells, the body odor of strangers on the bus, the greasy sandwich you ate at lunch. Hop in the shower for five minutes and you’ll feel literally refreshed as well as mentally more open to getting naked. As a bonus, a lazy bath can have sensual effect on your nerve endings as a massage or a mani-pedi (see #5).


Do It Tonight: Banish Your Phone

October 26, 2012


photo via flickr

In an interview on Fresh Air last week, Sherry Turkle, author of the new book Alone Together: Why We Expect More From Technology and Less from Each Other, discussed people’s emotional dependence on digital devices. Her theory is that people are not making the important emotional connections with people that they need, meaning that it is possible to be in constant digital communication and yet still feel very much alone. One piece of advice she shared was for families who want to set a tone of togetherness: she suggested placing a basket near where you eat, and making everyone turn off their phone and place it in the basket during all meals — breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

We think that advice works just as well for couples who probably check their iPhones or Blackberries way more than they realize during their time together. Sure, you probably turn off the ringer when you’re in a restaurant, but what about when you’re just hanging out eating cereal together? Do you really need to know who’s texting you right that minute? Are you sure it can’t wait five minutes? It’s easy to treat more casual meals more casually — but we think it’s worth the effort to actually force yourselves to converse. So when you microwave that frozen pizza for dinner tonight, turn off your phone and act like you’re in a candlelit restaurant (at least as far as your personal communication devices are concerned). We’re pretty sure your relationship — and your love life — will be the better for it.





Do It Tonight: Blindfold Your Partner

August 21, 2009


blindfoldedphoto by nyki_m

The blindfolds that come free with a transatlantic Virgin flight (oh, really, you shouldn’t have, Richard Branson) are sometimes printed with the phrase “forty winks” — and we think we know what kind of winks they’re talking about. Who hasn’t stuffed a complimentary blindfold into their carry-on and thought, “Ooh, I should use that sometime”? But, really, you should. You can go high-end with a gorgeous suede-and-silk number from JimmyJane.com, or sleek and modern Intima Silk from GoodVibes.com (it’s even lined with faux fur!). Or, if you haven’t taken a transatlantic Virgin flight lately (damn you, recession, for ruining cheap kink too!), then treat yourself to a soft and comfortable blindfold in pink or black for only $8 from GoodVibes. Seriously, everyone should have one of those handy in their nightstand, though if you’re feeling cheap, you could go DIY with a cotton scarf or tee knotted to the side of the head for comfort. (It just won’t look quite so sexy.)

Blindfolds help you get in the mood if you’re trying something new and are feeling shy: Maybe you want to spank your boyfriend but don’t want him to see you until you’ve perfected your swing; maybe you’re role-playing and find it easier to get into character if you can’t see that your “doctor” is wearing her stethoscope back to front; etc. And a blindfold is a great way to heighten sensation: It adds an element of surprise (especially pleasant when receiving cunnilingus) and makes everything feel more. You know how your radio always sounds louder after you’ve turned off your bedside light? Yeah, it’s like that, except it’s not KROC; it’s sex! Back in the eighties, people used to say, “It’s like sex on acid!” We prefer the more contemporary “It’s like sex on broadband!”

For more tips on accessorizing your sex life, check out our book, “SEX TOY: An A-Z Guide to Bedside Accessories.”

Do It Tonight: Treat Yourself to a Pebble Vibe

July 24, 2009


lelo_nea_pebble_vibeThe Lelo Nea at GoodVibes.com

You know those sand-buffed pebbles that you find on the beach that feel so nice in the palm of your hand? They’re pleasant and comforting to hold in your pocket, like nature’s own worry beads. Well, pebble vibrators are the X-rated version of this: external vibrators that fit perfectly in the palm of your hand — or, even better, between two bodies during intercourse. Their elfin size makes them discreet, non-threatening, travel-friendly bedside accessories.

The ultimate pebble vibrators are made by Swedish design company Lelo — check out their floral Nea vibrator or their silky smooth Lily vibe. Sure, they’re not the cheapest of sex toys, but in this case, you get what you pay for: beautiful, incredibly well-made, rechargeable vibrators that come in impeccably tasteful packaging. Betcha can’t find that during a long walk on the beach.

Do It Tonight! Get Some Fiber in Your Diet

July 6, 2009


fiber1add a little psyllium husk powder to O.J.

We guess this is probably more a “Do It This Morning!” kind of thing, since prunes go better with sunshine. But no matter what time of day you do it, adding fiber to your diet can improve your sex life. We shit you not. (Ba dum ching!) A daily dose will help keep your works of art firm, which means less road kill on the hershey highway and a clean exist, i.e. fewer wipes. It’s no replacement for regular pre-sex showering, of course, but when you feel good about your bathroom visits — fully relieved and lighter — you’ll feel better about having all your nooks and crannies intimately explored. If dried plums (such a better term than “prunes”) just aren’t your thing, another decent option is adding a little psyllium husk powder to your morning glass of O.J.

Please Help EMandLO.com: Click on the Link Below!

May 29, 2009


touch_herephoto by Studio Mohawk


It’s a link to our SUNfiltered post on The Top 10 Things Your Mama Inadvertently Taught You About Sex. By clicking on any of the links to it in this post you’ll help us try to win a most-trafficed-post contest, which will help us keep EMandLO.com up and running. So if you enjoy our site at all, please, show us a little love and CLICK ON THIS LINK! It’s your last chance to do so before the contest is over end of May. Thank you!

Top 10 Things Your Mama Inadvertently Taught You About Sex

May 7, 2009

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wrapped_candyphoto by Lara604

It’s Mother’s Day this Sunday — don’t forget to call and thank her for all the wonderful advice.

  1. Always wear clean underwear.
  2. Trim your fingernails and wash your hands thoroughly and often. (It’ll help you avoid infection and make you less likely to tear delicate internal linings during manual sex.)
  3. Ladies first.
  4. Don’t take candy from strangers. (You should know someone well enough to ask about their sexual health history first.)
  5. Don’t eat candy that’s unwrapped. (It should always have a condom on it.)

Read the rest of this list on SUNfiltered…because how else will you find out what your mama taught you about oral sex, backdoor play, and more…

Do It Tonight! Fake First-Date Confidence

April 29, 2009


twilight_first_datephoto via dutchtl

Confidence — as opposed to swollen-headed cockiness — is always sexy, and especially so on a date. You know how guys are always complaining that women ignore the nice guys in favor of bad boys who never call them back? Well, perhaps women aren’t just masochists who want to be walked all over; perhaps they simply appreciate the confidence that so-called bad boys tend to have in spades. Also, we suspect that a lot of jelly-spined, no-opinion, lacklustre guys tend to ignore their own faults and just blame it on women disliking “nice” guys. (And for the record, we should note that plenty of wussy women are guilty of the same sort of thing. e.g maybe he’s not, actually, an asshole for not calling her back; maybe she was just really quiet and boring.)

Little old ladies should be “nice.” Your Saturday night date should rock your world. And that takes confidence.

Whether you’re a nice boy or a nice girl, if you’re cursed with the first-date jitters, do whatever it takes to calm your nerves. Maybe it’s a yoga class, your lucky underwear, 100 jumping jacks, a certain location (e.g. a bar with a pool table where your stick skills will shine), a mantra chanted into the mirror, a pre-date shot with a good friend who will blow smoke up your ass, the perfect pair of jeans, a sneaky masturbation session…

If all else fails, just fake it. Remember, the person on the other side of the table is on a first date, too, so they’re probably too busy trying to fake their own confidence to notice if your act is a bit wobbly.

Do It Tonight! Be Kind to the Waitstaff

March 30, 2009


waiterphoto by independentman

On a dinner date, always be courteous to the waitstaff. Never snap, clap, cry “Waiter,” or worse, “Garcon!” to get your attendant’s attention; wait until you catch your server’s eye, then simply nod, gently raise your eyebrows, or, as a last resort, raise your hand. Say please and thank you — never say “Give me the steak frites…” If the food’s taking a long time, consider it an opportunity to get to know your date without worrying whether you have spinach in your teeth. And if you must complain about something — perhaps you’re vegan and the waiter brings you steak tartare, or perhaps there really is a fly in your soup — then do it nicely. It’s probably not the waiter’s fault, after all. Finally, if you’re responsible for the tip, make it 20%. We don’t care if your standard policy is 10% (or “whatever change is in my pocket”); on a date, you make it 20, you cheap bastard. Why? Well, if human decency isn’t enough to compel you, then consider this: If you are in any way rude and obnoxious to the service industry professionals, it will suggest to your date that you have the potential to be rude and obnoxious to anyone. And that, our friend, does not get you laid.

Do It Tomorrow Night! Turn off the Lights

March 27, 2009


google_earth_nightphoto via Google Earth

This Saturday, March 28th, at 8:30pm local time all around the world, individuals, companies, historical landmarks, towns and countries have committed to turning off the lights for one hour to highlight the threat of climate change. According to Earthhour.org‘s Facebook page, Sydney turned off the lights in 2007 and cut their energy usage by 10%; in 2008 the word had spread so that more than 277 cities had turned off the lights; now in ’09, millions have signed up to turn off their lights in over 538 cities in 78 countries. Signing up and committing to turning off your lights is an easy way to support the cause and help get the word out about the importance of conservation. Plus, what better activity to engage in with the lights off than a little au naturale loving, whether alone or with a special friend? Just be sure you use birth control to help keep overpopulation in check.