The blindfolds that come free with a transatlantic Virgin flight (oh, really, you shouldn’t have, Richard Branson) are sometimes printed with the phrase “forty winks” — and we think we know what kind of winks they’re talking about. Who hasn’t stuffed a complimentary blindfold into their carry-on and thought, “Ooh, I should use that sometime”? But, really, you should. You can go high-end with a gorgeous suede-and-silk number from JimmyJane.com, or sleek and modern hourglass blindfold from GoodVibes.com (it’s even lined with faux fur!). Or, if you haven’t taken a transatlantic Virgin flight lately (damn you, recession, for ruining cheap kink too!), then treat yourself to a soft and comfortable blindfold in pink or black for only $8 from GoodVibes. Seriously, everyone should have one of those handy in their nightstand, though if you’re feeling cheap, you could go DIY with a cotton scarf or tee knotted to the side of the head for comfort. (It just won’t look quite so sexy.)

Blindfolds help you get in the mood if you’re trying something new and are feeling shy: Maybe you want to spank your boyfriend but don’t want him to see you until you’ve perfected your swing; maybe you’re role-playing and find it easier to get into character if you can’t see that your “doctor” is wearing her stethoscope back to front; etc. And a blindfold is a great way to heighten sensation: It adds an element of surprise (especially pleasant when receiving cunnilingus) and makes everything feel more. You know how your radio always sounds louder after you’ve turned off your bedside light? Yeah, it’s like that, except it’s not KROC; it’s sex! Back in the eighties, people used to say, “It’s like sex on acid!” We prefer the more contemporary “It’s like sex on broadband!”

For more tips on accessorizing your sex life, check out our book, “SEX TOY: An A-Z Guide to Bedside Accessories.”

You know those sand-buffed pebbles that you find on the beach that feel so nice in the palm of your hand? They’re pleasant and comforting to hold in your pocket, like nature’s own worry beads. Well, pebble vibrators are the X-rated version of this: external vibrators that fit perfectly in the palm of your hand — or, even better, between two bodies during intercourse. Their elfin size makes them discreet, non-threatening, travel-friendly bedside accessories.

The ultimate pebble vibrators are made by Swedish design company Lelo — check out their floral Nea vibrator or their silky smooth Lily vibe. Sure, they’re not the cheapest of sex toys, but in this case, you get what you pay for: beautiful, incredibly well-made, rechargeable vibrators that come in impeccably tasteful packaging. Betcha can’t find that during a long walk on the beach.

We guess this is probably more a “Do It This Morning!” kind of thing, since prunes go better with sunshine. But no matter what time of day you do it, adding fiber to your diet can improve your sex life. We shit you not. (Ba dum ching!) A daily dose will help keep your works of art firm, which means less road kill on the hershey highway and a clean exist, i.e. fewer wipes. It’s no replacement for regular pre-sex showering, of course, but when you feel good about your bathroom visits — fully relieved and lighter — you’ll feel better about having all your nooks and crannies intimately explored. If dried plums (such a better term than “prunes”) just aren’t your thing, another decent option is adding a little psyllium husk powder to your morning glass of O.J.

***CLICK HERE!***

It’s a link to our SUNfiltered post on The Top 10 Things Your Mama Inadvertently Taught You About Sex. By clicking on any of the links to it in this post you’ll help us try to win a most-trafficed-post contest, which will help us keep EMandLO.com up and running. So if you enjoy our site at all, please, show us a little love and CLICK ON THIS LINK! It’s your last chance to do so before the contest is over end of May. Thank you!

It’s Mother’s Day this Sunday — don’t forget to call and thank her for all the wonderful advice.

1. Always wear clean underwear.
2. Trim your fingernails and wash your hands thoroughly and often. (It’ll help you avoid infection and make you less likely to tear delicate internal linings during manual sex.)
3. Ladies first.
4. Don’t take candy from strangers. (You should know someone well enough to ask about their sexual health history first.)
5. Don’t eat candy that’s unwrapped. (It should always have a condom on it.)

Read the rest of this list on SUNfiltered…because how else will you find out what your mama taught you about oral sex, backdoor play, and more…

Confidence — as opposed to swollen-headed cockiness — is always sexy, and especially so on a date. You know how guys are always complaining that women ignore the nice guys in favor of bad boys who never call them back? Well, perhaps women aren’t just masochists who want to be walked all over; perhaps they simply appreciate the confidence that so-called bad boys tend to have in spades. Also, we suspect that a lot of jelly-spined, no-opinion, lacklustre guys tend to ignore their own faults and just blame it on women disliking “nice” guys. (And for the record, we should note that plenty of wussy women are guilty of the same sort of thing. e.g maybe he’s not, actually, an asshole for not calling her back; maybe she was just really quiet and boring.)

Little old ladies should be “nice.” Your Saturday night date should rock your world. And that takes confidence.

Whether you’re a nice boy or a nice girl, if you’re cursed with the first-date jitters, do whatever it takes to calm your nerves. Maybe it’s a yoga class, your lucky underwear, 100 jumping jacks, a certain location (e.g. a bar with a pool table where your stick skills will shine), a mantra chanted into the mirror, a pre-date shot with a good friend who will blow smoke up your ass, the perfect pair of jeans, a sneaky masturbation session…

If all else fails, just fake it. Remember, the person on the other side of the table is on a first date, too, so they’re probably too busy trying to fake their own confidence to notice if your act is a bit wobbly.

On a dinner date, always be courteous to the waitstaff. Never snap, clap, cry “Waiter,” or worse, “Garcon!” to get your attendant’s attention; wait until you catch your server’s eye, then simply nod, gently raise your eyebrows, or, as a last resort, raise your hand. Say please and thank you — never say “Give me the steak frites…” If the food’s taking a long time, consider it an opportunity to get to know your date without worrying whether you have spinach in your teeth. And if you must complain about something — perhaps you’re vegan and the waiter brings you steak tartare, or perhaps there really is a fly in your soup — then do it nicely. It’s probably not the waiter’s fault, after all. Finally, if you’re responsible for the tip, make it 20%. We don’t care if your standard policy is 10% (or “whatever change is in my pocket”); on a date, you make it 20, you cheap bastard. Why? Well, if human decency isn’t enough to compel you, then consider this: If you are in any way rude and obnoxious to the service industry professionals, it will suggest to your date that you have the potential to be rude and obnoxious to anyone. And that, our friend, does not get you laid.

This Saturday, March 28th, at 8:30pm local time all around the world, individuals, companies, historical landmarks, towns and countries have committed to turning off the lights for one hour to highlight the threat of climate change. According to Earthhour.org‘s Facebook page, Sydney turned off the lights in 2007 and cut their energy usage by 10%; in 2008 the word had spread so that more than 277 cities had turned off the lights; now in ’09, millions have signed up to turn off their lights in over 538 cities in 78 countries. Signing up and committing to turning off your lights is an easy way to support the cause and help get the word out about the importance of conservation. Plus, what better activity to engage in with the lights off than a little au naturale loving, whether alone or with a special friend? Just be sure you use birth control to help keep overpopulation in check.

Here’s a quick science lesson for you: Scented and colored candles often contain plasticizers, which make them burn much hotter, i.e., way too hot for your sweetie’s fleshy parts. Black candles and beeswax candles burn the hottest of all. (Besides, what are you doing with black candles anyway? That’s so Trenchcoat Brigade.) You’re better off with the plain white paraffin candles sold at grocery and hardware stores for “emergencies” — but buy extra, please; no filching from your actual emergency supply kit! Better still are soy candles, which burn cleaner and at an even lower temperature than paraffin. (Even better, the soy candles sold at GoodVibes or Babeland turn into massage oil when the melt onto your skin. We recommend avoiding the sweeter scents.) The stop, drop, and rolls of hot-wax play: Blow the candle out before dripping the wax; test the wax on the back of your hand first; once the wax hits your partner’s skin, rub it in to disperse the heat; do not drip the wax on your partner’s face or delicate mucous membranes (you know, those areas where STDs and infection get passed the most); and, finally, do not indulge in candle play on your brand-new Tempur-Pedic bed with your $500 Calvin Klein sheet set, because we have no freakin’ idea how to remove wax stains.

photo by Foxtongue

You might think “novelty” means “nice, fun sex toys,” but you’d be wrong. It’s actually a legal term for products not intended for serious use. And thanks to A) bullshitty obscenity laws still on the books in some states (we’re talking to you, Alabama), B) no government regulation overseeing the safety and package labeling of sex toys, and C) manufacturers who focus on quantity over quality (i.e., male customers over female customers), many toys in your average adult store are marked “for novelty purposes only” (read: “Don’t use this anywhere near your genitals!”). These cheap, crappy, gimmicky toys are about as likely to get you off as an episode of Larry King Live. They’re often made in China, most likely under dubious labor conditions. And they don’t come with instruction manuals or ingredients listings (which more often than not would include “phthalates,” a potentially carcinogenic material in soft plastics and jelly rubber); if they did come with use, care, and content info, they’d be considered medical devices and would be subject to expensive safety regulations. “Screw that,” say the big-biz manufacturers. “We’ll just keep doing what we’ve been doing for the past thirty years, thank you very much.” Good for them, bad for you. So if you’ve got a toy that has rough seams, smells of stinky soft rubber, gives you a rash, feels uncomfortable, is a cheap knock-off of a popular toy, didn’t come with instructions, and/or came in a box with a cheesy naked lady on it, probably best to break up with it.

For more info, please check out our book, “SEX TOY: An A-Z Guide to Bedside Accessories.”