photo via Flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

My cousin and I go over to my ex boyfriend’s house. A few of his friends are there.  I don’t remember what we discuss but next thing I know he hits me and I feel  blood coming through my nose and I start to pass out and he holds me as I fall slowly. Before I close my eyes I see all his friends looking at me like they could care less. Then I wake up.

Lauri: This dream seems to be a pretty clear portrayal of how you may be dealing with the breakup at the moment. His house in the dream is really the place within your psyche where you “house” your feelings and thoughts towards him. Going there in the dream suggests you are going to that place within your psyche to perhaps try to figure this all out.

He suddenly hits you because that must be what it felt like when the relationship ended, like a punch to the gut or a slap in the face. Remember, physical pain in a dream can almost always be connected to emotional pain in waking life. The fact that you start bleeding is a warning sign your dreaming mind is giving you that you may be bleeding emotionally. Are you giving more thought and energy to this than you ought to? You begin to pass out because you want to be numb to the pain and unconscious of the thoughts, and he holds you because your dreaming mind is showing you that he still has “a hold on you.”

The point at which a dream ends is usually the most important part of the message… it is the message your dreaming mind wants to leave you with so you will ponder and process it. Just like any good story, the moral comes at the end. The moral of this dream story comes in the form of his friends looking at you without care. They represent the friendship within the relationship with your ex; the care just isn’t there anymore. It’s best to become unconscious of this person so that you can leave yourself open to someone who wants to care for you.  Good luck!

By the way, I’m assuming this behavior on his part only happened in the dream and not in real life. If that’s not the case, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE to discuss your options — because abuse is NOT okay.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!

photo via flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

In my dream I see myself masturbating for over one hour! I ejaculate twice but go on and on. A woman in her thirties is teaching me how to better my technique and she spurs me on to continue. What does it mean?

Lauri: The reason for masturbation in waking life is to bring pleasure to yourself, but in dream life it is more about being pleased with yourself. At the time of this dream, do you recall having done something you were rather proud of? Or did you take some time for yourself? Less likely but still possible, this may suggest you have been a bit too self-centered lately, focusing on your needs rather than others.

You… ahem… adjusted your antenna for quite some time in the dream. That suggests that perhaps you’ve had a long streak of good luck or positive things happening in your life due to your own actions. The woman who is teaching you is a part of you. She is your “female” energy which means she is either the part of you that is caring and nurturing, or she is your creative self, as these are typically considered female traits.

Have you been rather productive lately with some creative form of expression? Or have you been taking good care of yourself or someone else or even a project? Whatever the case, this has been a learning process for you and your inner mind is clearly very pleased with you. So give yourself a hand… tee hee.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!

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photo via Flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it.) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

A few night ago, I had a dream about an ex boyfriend, a man who I have always felt is my soul mate. However, we have not seen each other in many years.

Anyway, in my dream we were together, and it felt safe, like unconditional love. We were just cuddling, when he pulled down his pant to expose three wild dogs attached, or growing/living on the top of his left leg. They were not barking, but were very animated. Their color was brown, and they did not have red eyes. The heads were 3 different sizes. I was not repulsed, but found it very unusual, and was just trying to process it.

It was then that the scene changed to another room. In the room were friends/family. I was trying to tell them that I was with the ex boyfriend but did not want him to hear, so the people in the room didn’t hear me either. After that I forget what happened. I cannot get this dream out of my mind.

Lauri: In my maaaany years of research, I’ve found that dogs in dreams can almost always be connected to a relationship in your life, someone you have friendship with or loyalty towards. The dogs in your dream are attached to the top of your ex’s left leg. This tells me you may be a bit too attached to your ex… okay, way too attached. Just as the dogs are living on his leg, you are living in hopes that he’s the one. But notice that it’s his left leg. The left side of anything is usually about what needs to be LEFT behind in the past. You find this unusual in the dream because your dream self is trying to show you that you have an unusual attachment to this ex.

Why three dogs? Well, there most certainly is a reason but you may need to put your thinking cap on to figure it out. Were you together for three years? Have you been apart for three years? Is he an ex because there was cheating or a love TRIangle? Go through all the threes in your life and see if you can make the connection.

Your dream switches scenes because it is showing you how one thing can lead to another. In the next scene your friends and family are unable to hear you because in real life — I’m assuming from the dream — that your friends and family either don’t know how attached you still are to the ex OR they don’t understand why, and you feel your reasons are falling on deaf ears.

The dream has stayed on your mind because it is trying to give you a very important message, a message that should give you a clearer picture of your mindset in regards to your ex. Perhaps it’s best — like the dogs — you release yourself from this attachment… I mean living your life stuck to a man who you’ve not seen in years seems to be an egregious waste of what little time you have on this earth.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!

photo via flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I had a dream where somone, a familiar female whose face I can’t recall, is telling me that my boyfriend has been molested as a baby. And, like in a movie, I could see flashes of him as a 2 year old crying. And I can recall us arguing (which in reality hasn’t happened lately) and thinking that this explains everything. I set out to find him but with the immediacy of saving the baby. I can’t find him and I woke up feeling down and helpless. Is this a literal thing? He was adopted and his birth mom was involved with drugs and was violent. Or is it all some big metaphor?

Lauri: Odds are, this is a big ol’ metaphor, as that is the way the dreaming mind communicates, after all. And unfortunately, sometimes the metaphors that the dreaming mind chooses can be quite disturbing — your dream is a shining example! So let’s figure it out for you so we can take the worry away.

The familiar female who is talking to you in the dream is you, that’s why she seems so familiar. She is that voice in the back of your head that is always talking to you throughout the day but that you, like all of us, don’t always listen to. So at night when your conscious thoughts have fallen away, this same voice rises back to the surface and communicates with you again without anything in the way. This part of you is telling you something about your boyfriend so you can have a better understanding of his current circumstances and/or behavior.

Being molested as a baby is more likely about him being taken advantage of in some way in waking life. Like a baby, is he naïve, therefore allowing himself to get screwed over? Or did the screwing over take place first and then he reacted like a baby?

In the dream he is two years old. That’s significant. Whenever there is a specific amount of something in a dream it can be connected to that same amount in waking life. You’ve got two years. Have you two been together for two years? Did something happen of significance two years ago? Or maybe it’s just the number two. Are there two issues he was screwed over on? You may need to put on your thinking cap and see if you can figure that one out.

His crying in the dream is most likely about something that is upsetting for him in waking life. And you searching for him is symbolic of your need to “find” the source of his waking life behavior or what may be troubling him in real life. Just as you are trying to save the baby, how are you trying to save or help him in reality?

The sense of helplessness you feel when you wake up is very real and is likely connected to a waking realization that this may be an issue you can’t help him with, as it may be an issue that is his own to figure out or to move on from. Your dream may be telling you not to baby him but let him figure this out on his own.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!

photo via Flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I recently had a wild night and had sex with two guys. Since then I’ve been having dreams about them and that I was pregnant with twin boys.

Lauri: Ooh! You naughty girl! This is a very interesting dream considering the event that brought it about. I doubt the dream is telling you that you’re pregnant… you WERE using condoms, right? More likely, this dream is alerting you to the fact that — rather than a fetus growing inside of you — a new mindset or behavior is growing and developing inside of you. You have to examine closely how you now feel about yourself and about that tryst since that night. Are you remorseful? If so, your dream may be warning you that these negative feelings towards yourself are growing and multiplying, in which case you need to just look at it as getting something off your bucket list and move on. Or are you totally turned on by it and wanting more? If so, it may be a new desire for having two at a time that’s growing, in which case you’ll need to proceed with caution. Since there are three people involved rather than just two, the emotions that follow can be a little more complicated and tough to sort out.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!

photo via flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

This is actually my boyfriend’s dream. He told me in it he was getting married to an ex and was making me watch — but that when he turned around to look at me he felt bad. I’m thinking he subconsciously wants to marry his ex but feels bad he is leading me on — but I figured I’d reach out to a professional!

Lauri: Your boyfriend opening up and telling you this dream is a good indication that he does not want to marry his ex. If he still had deep feelings for her, he would keep these sort of dreams to himself… unless he’s a bit of a sadist!

The marriage aspect of this dream seems to suggest that he is feeling he is stuck in some way to the ex. Did she break his heart and is the distrust from that still an issue for him? Do they have children together? Or are you always comparing yourself to her and bringing her up? In what way is the ex — or constant mentions of her — still in his life?

At the end of the dream he felt bad. As I always say, the end of the dream is usually where the most important part of the message is. Through this dream he is realizing that, whatever element of the ex that remains in his life, is unfair to you. Whether it’s his inability to let go of the distrust brought about by her bad actions, your need to compare yourself to her… whatever, it is something that isn’t right and your boyfriend seems to realize it needs to go. So good on him!

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!

photo via Flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I just got married for the second time on Dec 4th. Last night I had a dream that my husband and I got separated after the wedding. He and some of the guests ended up at the reception, while I and some of the guests ended up at home. With me was my best friend Scott, and his mother and sister. Scott is a guy I met through my other best friend (who is also a guy) in high school. I fell for Scott instantly, but he didn’t see it that way. For most of high school I was in love with him. Nothing ever happened between us, but we did get really close as friends. He’s now like a brother to me, in fact I call him and my other best friend my brothers and they call me their sister. In the dream, we all got snowed in. We could get out of the house, but the roads and airports were closed down for the night. After finding everyone a place to sleep, I trudged to my room, exhausted and crying due to having to spend my wedding night alone. In my room I found Scott laying in my bed, fully clothed. “Crap. I gotta find a place for you to sleep,” I told him through my tears. He shook his head and beckoned me over to him. Not wanting to fight with him, I crawled in bed and lay in his arms, my head on his chest. My crying subsided after a while and I’d almost fallen asleep when Scott lifted my head. He looked at me and said “You should have married me,” and kissed me. The next thing I know, we’re making love.

Lauri: The separation you experience in the beginning of the dream is very likely connected to some sort of separation between you and hubby in waking life. It could be anything from a separation of ideas like a disagreement, to a separation in the time you two spend together. You wind up stuck at home in the dream which makes me wonder if you find yourself at home all too often while he is at work or traveling, hanging with friends, etc. You also wind up getting snowed in which just may be an indication a cold front has moved into your life to some degree. At the time of this dream, had you or your husband been giving the other the cold shoulder? Is there some situation or idea that you or he has not quite warmed up to?

In the dream you are finding rooms for everyone so they can sleep. I believe this is the way your dreaming mind is telling you that whatever is causing this cold front in your marriage, whatever is causing you to have a separation of ideas or is causing you to be apart as far as time with each other… you need to “put it to rest.”

And I believe this is where your friend comes in to play. It is likely that he represents the friendship within your marriage… that is, unless you REALLY DO – deep down – wish you had married him. Otherwise, the ensuing love-making is more about bringing the friendship into your marriage. Remember, sex in dreams is most often about bringing into your life or into your personality what you lack. In your case, this dream is a reminder that as husband and wife you must be friends first. It’s far easier to put issues to rest when you view each other as equals and as friends rather than opponents.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!

Scorpions album cover via Flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I am asleep in my dream, on my left side. This dream is a recurring one; there is always a stimuli of some sort that awakens me. The most recent I had it was the ringing of my cell. In my dream I understood that the particular ringtone that played as I was receiving a call was not the same I have in reality. This thought processed in my mind and I awaken to a figure of a man, he is almost like a shadow, completely black. He always caresses me… from my neck, down to my shoulder blades… to the small of my back… in each dream he is always touching me, running his hands on my body and he speaks but I am always too frantic to actually hear what he is saying to me. When I wake in actuality, I have chills that surge through me or goosebumps on my skin.

Lauri: It sounds like you are experiencing a parasomnia called Sleep Paralysis or The Old Hag Syndrome! And there is not a thing one should worry about when it happens. Here’s the deal: When we sleep and enter the REM state, which is when dreaming takes place, our brain releases a chemical that literally paralyzes our skeletal muscles so that we don’t act out our dreams. When we’ve had a fitful night of sleep or haven’t slept long enough, we will start to wake up before our brain can re-activate our muscle control, which causes us to get “stuck” in that in-between state of sleep and wakefulness. This is called Hypnogogia. Cool name, huh? In this state you are asleep and awake at the same time, which is why you are aware that you are in your room and in your bed. You may also find that you can’t move, speak or scream… because you are still paralyzed!

Another very common symptom of Sleep Paralysis is the dark figure in the room. Usually it is a sinister presence, which evokes a tremendous amount of fear in the dreamer. Often the figure will seem to sit on the bed or even get on top of you and try to suffocate you… or so it seems. It is such a frightening experience because the fear centers in the brain are very highly active during this state. Luckily for you, your dark figure seems to be more romantic than menacing!

There’s not a thing in the world to worry about when this happens. If you just relax, within a moment you’ll be fully awake and all will be well. But, what I suggest, the next time this happens, is to take advantage of it. Remember, it’s a way cool state of mind to be in: asleep and awake. It’s like having a foot in both worlds! When that dark figure enters the scene and begins to caress you, you can have fun with it and will him to turn into… I dunno… Brad Pitt… or your hottie of choice! At this point, you have become lucid and can take control and whatever you would like to happen at that point on is completely up to you! I also tell people to ask the figure a question like, “Who are you?” or “What’s the meaning of life?” and see what kind of answer you get!

Oh, and one last thing, these episodes often begin with a strange sound in our ear like a buzzing, a ringing, a whisper or even a ring tone! Researchers believe that is caused by the three tiny little bones in the inner called the hammer, anvil and stirrup. These bones tend to vibrate while we are in REM and can sometimes continue to vibrate when we experience Sleep Paralysis. Remember, this is a hallucinatory state so our minds will interpret the vibration into something else. So again, this is not anything to worry about. It typically means you aren’t getting enough good, solid sleep, and when it happens again, you can turn it into an amazing experience! Let us know what happens next time. I think we’d all love to know what you come up with!

Dreamer’s response: The science behind it all is definitely reassuring, seeing as any amount of information I tried researching on my own was futile. When I was younger, I actually had these occurences with a ghostly figure that had very unique distinctions about him. The only difference was he’d enjoy attempting things, as you mentioned, suffocating or holding me down. Always seemed to be the reason for my paralysis. I have heard of lucid dreaming and I think your idea of control is one I would have never thought possible but now am eager to try! I am psyched and plan to keep you posted with my next dream. Thank you so much for your quick and extremely insightful response!

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!

photo via Flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I had this dream that I was sitting in a room on a bed watching movies and my friend walks in. Pretty soon he starts kissing me but he kisses me just like my boyfriend does in reality. I told my boyfriend about it and he thinks the dream means that I want my friend; I don’t think that’s the case. I had a very similar dream last year but instead a girl was kissing me. Please interpret dream!

Lauri: It is only natural that your boyfriend would think your dream means that you want this friend you dreamed about. That’s because he (like most of us) is looking at your dream literally rather than symbolically. Dreams speak in symbols so looking at them literally often causes unnecessary fear, angst or even anger. So please tell your boyfriend I said, Fear not! Kissing in a dream is really about communication and conversation more than anything else because kissing, like a conversation, requires two mouths.

Let me give you a personal example. Just two nights ago I dreamed this really good male friend of mine kissed me. It is not because I desire this but because the day before we had a very lengthy conversation about a project we are working on together. He initiated the kiss because he not only initiated the conversation but is also, somewhat, taking control of the project. So your dream is probably connected to a similar situation in your waking life. The day before the dream, do you recall having a significant conversation with your friend? And was he the one that initiated the conversation just as he initiated the kiss?

It is also not random that you were on a bed. That may mean that the conversation may have been about the need to put some issue to rest. If the kiss was good in the dream, and I suspect it was since it felt like your boyfriend, that’s a good indication the conversation was good as well.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!

photo via flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I’m currently a college student and going steady with my boyfriend of almost a year. We’re currently in a long-distance relationship, but both very devoted to each other. I give him more than enough of my time and he does likewise. I keep having dreams that I cheat on him with either ex-boyfriends, random guys, friends, anyone! It’s really disturbing, because in real life I would never cheat on him and have no desire to do so. What does this mean?! Thanks!

Lauri: Long-distance relationships, no matter how devoted you are to each other, wreak havoc on the inner mind, as attested by your dreams. There could be two layers to these dreams. On the outer physiological layer, these dreams could be compensation for what your body is not getting in waking life. When we go through a dry spell, we’ll find ourselves having a series of naughty dreams because our body has to make up for what it isn’t getting otherwise.

But on a deeper psychological layer, these dreams may be connected to a certain level of guilt you are having about the relationship being long distance. When you are hundreds of miles away from each other, a part of you feels that you are “cheating” yourself and each other out of a relationship where you can actually be together, touch each other, hold each other, smell each other, etc. You may find you get these dreams on nights where you hung out with other couples who were hugging and cuddling in front of you, forcing you to face what you are missing out on — causing the inner mind to feel cheated.

While your outer self is content with the long-distance relationship, your inner self is struggling. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be in this relationship, of course. It just means you’ve got a tougher row to hoe… by not being a ho… and staying true!

Response from dreamer:  Thank you for your quick and funny response! I won’t be a ho, promise! This long-distance thing is ending soon and hopefully so will these dreams! About feeling a little “guilty,” I can see why that is. Sometimes I did feel bad, because I left him THOUSANDS of miles away. Thank you again, very helpful!

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!