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I’m Straight But My Dreams Are of Lesbian Heartbreak

July 11, 2013

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Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

Lately I’ve been having dreams about being in love with a woman. So in love that when I wake up I still feel the emotion and heartbreak of it. I am a happily married woman to a man with a 2 and a half year old son. I’ve never been in love with a woman in real life. I believe that I have no sexual attraction to women of any sort. So anyway, in these dreams, I feel greatly in love with a woman and it seems like that love is never satisfied. Either because the woman I’m in love with doesn’t love me back or they are already committed to someone else. Please help me put sense into these dreams!!!

Lauri: ¬†In my latest book¬†Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, I have a list of the 10 Rules to Remember when interpreting your dreams. One of those rules is that the emotion you feel in the dream can always be directly connected to that same emotion you are having over something in real life. So let’s start there.

In your real life lately, what is causing you heartbreak? Where in your life are you feeling unfulfilled or even rejected? You were also in love in the dream. This may be more about something in your waking life that you are very passionate about, perhaps a cause or even a talent or hobby. Whatever it is, it seems you aren’t getting a return out of it, leaving you with a sense of emptiness or rejection.

And finally, the woman in the dream is most likely some part of YOU! So think about that for a moment. Is there a part of you that you are felling disconnected from, a part of you that you really like? Maybe the thinner you before kids? Maybe the more adventurous, fun loving, carefree you? Maybe the working you (did you quit working after the baby came)? This dream is letting you kn0w that you need to reconnect with that part of yourself or reconnect with that passion, cause or hobby, etc, because your inner self seems to be missing it terribly.

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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Dream Interpretation: My Husband Wants a Divorce

June 27, 2013

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photo via Flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

In my dream, I ask my husband for his phone and he gives it to me. While browsing his messages I see two from two different girls that say “I love you.” I ask him who these girls are and he says that the first girl is some kind of a fling and the second girl is “different.”¬†As I’m asking what “different” means, he tells me that he wants a divorce. I cry a lot and while I’m crying he’s constantly saying good things about this second girl as if he’s very proud of her. This was a very terrible nightmare for me. What does it mean? Help please.

Lauri: ¬†Dreaming that our mate is cheating is actually an unbelievably common dream, and it usually has nothing to do with an actual affair that may be going on. So let’s get the obvious out of the way: Other than this dream, do you have any reason to suspect hubby may be getting his pleasures elsewhere?

If not, then this dream is more likely connected to something else within the marriage that needs to be addressed. The two girls on the phone most likely represent two things your husband has affection for, such as a sport or hobby or maybe even his job.  The fling may be something in real life that was a temporary interest or a passing phase that your husband gave a lot of attention to and the other girl is most likely something your husband is really into like golf or the X Box. And just as he is leaving you in the dream it is something he leaves you to go do in real life.

Odds are, this dream is alerting you to the fact that there may be some sort of divide that is developing in the marriage. That’s the most common reason behind a divorce dream; it’s not about a divorce but a divide such as a separation of ideas, a difference of opinion, or even a divide as far as one of the spouses travelling too much. Whatever the case, the phone in this dream is where the answer is for you: Communication. Open those lines of communication and you’ll find out what the other one really needs you to know.

Dreamer Response: Thank you for your response. Everything has been clear with your explanation and it’s really true. Thank God it’s not what my dream literally means. Yes, me and my husband have different ideas and opinions since we come from different races. I’ll visit your site more to read your advice. Thank you so much!

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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Dream Interpretation: I Watched a Guy Dance Naked

June 20, 2013

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Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I dreamt of a nude guy dancing in front of a car, and celebrities are watching him. I was also there in line with them so I could also see him. It’s very weird. What does it mean?

Lauri:¬†¬†When trying to figure out your dream, it’s important to remember that everything in your dream is symbolic of you or something in your life. Therefore, this dancing naked man is YOU!

Typically, nudity in a dream is connected to feeling embarrassed or vulnerable over something in your real life. But since people were lined up to watch him AND he was dancing about, I’m thinking it may have more to do with opening up about something, getting something off your chest, freeing yourself of something you had been keeping under wraps, perhaps.

And the dancing is the joy you feel because of it. Now, if this doesn’t sound like you recently, it is likely someone directly around you. The celebrities may be your desire for recognition and applause for opening up. Oh, and all this going on in front of a car? That could mean that you can now move on and forward!

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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The 10 Types of Sex Dreams

June 13, 2013

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available on Amazon

Freud, Schmroid. If you’re looking for a good book on the interpretation of dreams, check out the one by our very own Lauri Loewenberg, dream interpreter extraordinaire! Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams, Change Your Life (published by St. Martin’s Press) features hundreds of real dream interpretations and a comprehensive dream symbol dictionary to help you understand and make the most of your nocturnal visions, especially the sexy ones. There’s an entire chapter dedicated to sex dreams, which Lauri says are often “not about a physical union you want, but rather a psychological union you need!” There are 10 kinds of sex dreams; below are 5 of them; check out Dream On It for the other five archetypes (The Friend, The Same Gender, Oral Sex, Family Members, and Masturbation):

  1. The Mystery Lover – This is the most common of all sex dreams. Many of us wonder if this dream is actually a glimpse of our soul mate who might be out there somewhere waiting for us.¬† Alas, t‚Äôis not so.¬† But what is so is that the unknown, faceless man or woman that often appears in our dreams does indeed hold significance….Our dreams have a cool way of showing us the different parts of our personality in the form of a person so we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and what makes us tick. That being said, the mystery lover in your dreams is the embodiment, the personification of the qualities we tend to associate with that gender….Throughout life we struggle to incorporate the right balance of each [gender] into our personalities and behavior.¬† A man wants to be caring and understanding, yet he doesn‚Äôt want to be a sissy.¬† A woman wants to assert herself, yet she doesn‚Äôt want to be labeled the B word!¬† Our mystery lover dreams are guiding us towards that perfect balance of firm and gentle, bold and caring, yin and yang.
  2. Cheating — These dreams can be infuriating, worrisome and the cause of many a slap across the face first thing in the morning.¬† In fact, in a recent survey I conducted with over 5000 participants, the cheating dream came in as the #1 most common dream! As upsetting as these dreams can be, the good news is that they rarely indicate that your mate is getting his or her pleasures elsewhere.¬† They do suggest, however, that something rather than someone is taking the time and attention from your mate that you feel you deserve.‚Ä®…[If] you are the one straying in your dreams you need to ask yourself what you may be doing that is taking your attention away from your mate.¬† The guilt you feel in the dream is a tell tale sign that, deep down, you are aware that this may not be sitting well with your significant other….Once you can pinpoint what it is your mate is ‚Äúcheating on you‚ÄĚ with, or what you may be guilty of giving too much time to, it‚Äôs time to compromise.¬† Offer to give up or cut back on something your mate isn‚Äôt a big fan of if he or she promises to cut back on the activity that is causing you to feel left out. If you both stick to the compromise, you‚Äôll find that the dreams will stop.
  3. The Ex — Past lovers are very popular characters in our naughty dreams. Even though it may be light years since you were with this person, he or she STILL continues to appear in your dreams, bringing those old feelings back to the surface that leave you wondering if you still may be holding a flame.¬† ‚Ä®‚Ä®Most often, the ex we dream about the most is our first love.¬† Strangely enough, we continue to dream of our first loves, even if we’ve moved on into a happy marriage.¬† Don’t worry, it’s not that you want the ex back, it’s that you want what he or she represents back: excitement, bubbles, passion!¬† You are likely to get these dreams when you are in a dry spell or when your marriage or current relationship gets a little too routine and humdrum, as all relationships do from time to time.¬† Your dream is using your ex to remind you of the passion that is still alive inside of you.¬† These dreams are actually good for you and are alerting you to the fact that the passion department doesn‚Äôt want to become a thing of the past.
  4. The Co-Worker – This dream can make work a very uncomfortable place to be. Unless your co-worker causes your heart to skip a beat and your mind to wander into naughty, naughty land, then your sex dream(s) about him or her are nothing to cause you concern.¬† However, understanding the dream is well worth your while because odds are, that dream is actually trying to help you improve yourself at work.¬† Your dreaming mind may be telling you that you need to ‚Äúcome together‚ÄĚ on some level with your co-worker, for the sake of work, that you need to have a meeting of the minds in order to make co-existing and co-working more efficient.¬† ‚Ä®‚Ä®But what if you don‚Äôt really have much to do with a particular co-worker during the day but you find yourself knocking boots at night?¬† All you need to do is ask yourself what stands out about that person.¬† Is he really good with computers?¬† Does the boss seem to favor her?¬†¬† Maybe he‚Äôs easy going and doesn‚Äôt seem to have a care in the world.¬† There is very likely a quality he or she possesses that your dreaming mind feels you would do well to take on as your own.
  5. The Boss РShagging your employer at night can sure make it difficult to come into work the next day.  If this is the case with you, remember, sex dreams are not necessarily about the person but rather about what he or she represents.  In the case of your boss it is most likely power, authority, management skills, decision making, et cetera that you need to merge into your own life.
 Do you need to take on the role of boss at home and better manage those unruly kids?  Are you facing a tough decision?  Do you need to fire or get rid of a certain element, person or behavior in your life?  Or perhaps you simply need to merge with your boss psychologically in order to deal with a client or project. Whatever the case may be, your boss dream is telling you that it’s time to take charge! Being decisive and authoritative would suit you well now.

For more on the 5 sex dreams above and to discover the meaning behind the other 5 most common sex dreams — The Friend, The Same Gender, Oral Sex, Family Members, and Masturbation –¬†check out Lauri‚Äôs new book¬†Dream On It, available everywhere!¬†Check out all of Lauri’s books here.



Dream Interpretation: My BF Dreamed We Had a Threeway

June 6, 2013

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photo via flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

Technically, this isn’t my dream, it’s the dream of a guy I’ve recently started to become intimate with. We were introduced by one of his close mutual friends (who is also a close friend of mine) at a college social function and went from there. Recently, he told me of a very bizarre dream that unsettled him. In this dream he, I, and the mutual friend were at the beach. Some way or another, the three of us ended up having a threesome on the beach. My guy friend woke up and was angry at our mutual friend. What does the dream mean?

Lauri:¬†¬†Typically, the emotion we wake up with can be connected to that same emotion we are having over something in our waking life, so you’ll have to ask your boyfriend what, at the time of this dream, was angering him in real life.

The threesome could mean he feels your mutual friend is getting in the middle of your and his business in some way. Is your mutual friend being a little too nosy or taking too much credit for the relationship? Or perhaps your mutual friend represents friendship in general, in which case the threesome suggests your boyfriend feels that there is friendship and intimacy within your relationship.

Remember, sexual activity in a dream is more about incorporating that which you need into your life or into your self rather than it being about physical desire… which leads me to believe that the anger aspect of the dream could also mean that your boyfriend is struggling with the idea of friendship vs. intimacy with you. Perhaps he’s worried if things don’t workout that the friendship between the two of you will be lost.

Hopefully this has given you some good talking points to go over with your boyfriend and the two of you can figure it out together. Discussing your dreams with each other is a great way to stay plugged in!

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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Dream Interpretation: My Recurring Lesbian Friend Dream

May 30, 2013

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Strength and Patience by Hendrick Goltzius (1500s)

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I keep having a reoccurring dream were I am sleeping with a friend who is in a committed lesbian relationship and has just had a baby too. What does this mean? Please help!

Lauri:  Recurring dreams are typically caused by one of two things: a recurring behavior pattern, each time you exhibit the behavior you get the dream or an ongoing issue, for as long as the issue continues so will the dream. In your case, I think the latter may be the case.

Now, remember, dreams are symbolic and not to be looked at literally, therefore your friend is probably not playing herself as much as she symbolizes something you desire. Sex dreams are usually about that which we wish to unite or incorporate into our own life or our own behavior (sex is the ultimate union, after all). That being said, perhaps she represents the idea of being in a committed relationship and starting a family. Is that something you would like to incorporate into your life? If not, then what else stands out about this friend? Is she really easy going, for example, and do you wish you could take on her laissez‚Äďfaire attitude?

A good way to figure it out is to play the word association game and pick three words that first come to mind when you think of her. Once you’ve got them, see if you can really relate to any of them or see if you desire any of them for yourself. Odds are, you’ll make that connection. The next thing to do, is work on making that a part of your own life or a part of your self. Once you do, the dream will stop.

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.
 
 
 
 
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My BDSM Relationship Is Giving Me Nightmares

May 23, 2013

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“Em & Lo’s Shades of Play Kit” at GoodVibes

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I have, for lack of a better word, a f*ck buddy who I see pretty regularly. We primarily engage in bondage, dom/sub play… basically, if one of us suggests something, and the other is interested, we’ll try it. I’ve made it very clear from the beginning that I was not interested in any kind of relationship outside of the bedroom, although I do have the suspicion he may be developing feelings for me. Any sign of emotion I politely turn down and then usually leave.

In my dream we lived in the same building, and I lived on the floor below his. Everything in both our apartments was very clean, modern, white/bright, and sterile looking. He was on top of me, missionary position, and we were fooling around. He was talking dirty, calling me dirty names, all the things I usually like. I told him to stop, and when he asked me what was wrong, I told him nothing, I just wasn’t in the mood. I then told him I had to go home and feed my pet or it was going to eat me.

I took the elevator downstairs and in my apartment was either a white wolf or a white tiger. It was showing signs of anger, and I remember being extremely scared of it as I fed it chunks of raw meat. As I fed it, it and myself started to calm down, but I was still very tense and afraid of it killing me. I woke up still feeling tense and on edge.

Lauri:¬† VERY interesting dream. Let’s dive into it and see what insight it has for you regarding your current situation. The building you live in together is the relationship you have built. It’s not a committed relationship, but it is a relationship nonetheless. Since you live below him in the dream, you must play the submissive one in your relationship.

The clean and sterile look and feel of the apartments is your perspective of the relationship: don’t muddy it up with emotions. You telling him to stop in the dream may really be you telling yourself to stop the relationship in real life. Remember, dreams are a conversation with the self happening in one’s own mind so whatever is said in a dream is something you are saying to yourself.

You also tell him you have to feed your pet or it will eat you. THAT is very interesting. Your pet represents the bondage you like to engage in; it is a “pet” project, so to speak. You need to feed it or it will eat you. This is all about your need to feed this desire for BDSM play, and if you don’t feed that need, it will eat away at you until you do! This desire for BDSM is being shown to you in the form of a predatory animal because this is something you have to hunt down in order to bring into your life.

This part of you is angry at you and you fear it because YOU are angry that what you thought was a sterile, non-emotional relationship has turned on you, and you fear it will cause you problems. But just as you feared the predatory animal would hurt you, do you also fear you will get hurt if the relationship becomes emotional?

Also, you feared the animal would kill you. That tells me you fear that if the relationship became emotional, it would kill off who you are right now. The fear you experienced in the dream and the angst you felt upon waking need to be addressed. Sex and emotions are very hard to keep separate. At some point the two worlds will collide. It seems your dream is trying to show you that you can only feed one for so long before the other starts to eat away at you.

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it.

 

 

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Dream Interpretation: My Wife Orgasms with Someone Else

May 16, 2013

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photo via Flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

In the past couple of days I have had weird dreams about my wife. The first dream went like this: She wasn’t feeling too well so I took her to see the doctor. At the clinic/hospital, there was a sea of doctors to choose from. Trying to lighten her mood, I asked her to pick a cute/good looking one (I don’t think I really specified male or female). She then picked a male doctor, who happened to be someone I knew from medical school (we were classmates). He came along and I started to tell him about her symptoms (a fever, etc), she told me I didn’t know exactly how she felt (in a nice way) and shooed me away. Next I found myself in some kind of vantage position (picture being on the top bunk of a bunk bed and looking down on the bottom bunk over the edge). The doctor started examining/treating her and then I saw that he started fingering her and my wife was moaning. I don’t really know what happened afterwards but next thing I recall is my wife coming out to meet me in a waiting room with that smile and after-sex/after-orgasm glow. I woke up shortly after.

Second dream: We were in our apartment and I was in the living room and she was in the bedroom with another woman (I don’t think I know who it was). It seemed like they were either just cleaning or talking. The next thing I recall is that they were making love. I did not see them in the act and I somehow didn’t have the willpower to get up to go to the bedroom to actually look at them but from the sounds it was clear what they were up to. While I was in the living room, I happened to be watching porn on the TV. Then I vaguely recall them climaxing in the room and I in the living room.

What can all these possibly mean?

Lauri:¬†¬†The hospital setting of the first dream suggests that there is something within the marriage or perhaps something solely with your wife that needs to get better… and it seems you are trying to help correct the situation.

The way your wife says that you don’t know how she feels when you are trying to describe her symptoms may really be connected to her feelings that you don’t understand her. Has she recently said to you, “You don’t get it; you don’t know how I feel.”? Or “You don’t know how I should feel?”

The vantage point you have either means your wife feels you “look down on her” or something she is doing, or it could mean you are trying to rise above the issue at hand, take the high road, etc.

At the end of both dreams your wife orgasms, which is a good indication that she has taken care of the waking life issue on her own. What has she done in waking life, without you? In what way has she brought completion or satisfaction to herself? It seems that, through these dreams, you are realizing that she has become self reliant in some respect.

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it.

 

 

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Dream Interpretation: The Tip of My Penis Broke Off

May 9, 2013

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photo via Flickr

Each week, Lauri¬†tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means here on EMandLO.com. Here’s this week’s:

My girlfriend told me today she had a dream where the tip of my penis fell off and I put it back on like it was no big deal. She said this happened in the dream while we were just sitting around.

Just some background on us. We’ve been dating for over 5 yrs and everything is really good. We’ve lived together for the past year and we laugh every day.¬†What do you think her dream could mean?

Lauri:¬†¬†The detachable penis is actually a very common dream — however, the detachable tip is a new one!

Typically, male genitalia in a dream is often connected to male energy in waking life: being assertive, growing a pair, manning up, etc. To dream that the penis has come off can mean that the man in question has surrendered some sort of assertiveness and taken on a more passive, caring or nurturing role in real life. So for your tip to come off, and then you reconnect it rather nonchalantly, may mean that she feels you have easily stepped into and out of a more passive or more gentle role recently.

However, since it is only the tip, perhaps she feels you have only scratched the surface in some way, or have only touched on the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. Is there something she wants a little more of from you. Excuse me, I mean…. a lot more of!

Also, is there anything that has been on again and off again, as far as she is concerned? Hmmm… also the “just sitting around” makes me wonder if there is something she feels you need to get up off your duff and take care of. Run this analysis by her and let us know what she says!

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it.

 

 

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Dream Interpretation: My Boyfriend Doesn’t Care About My Assault

May 2, 2013

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photo via Flickr

Each week, Lauri¬†tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means here on EMandLO.com. Here’s this week’s:

I had an odd dream. I was going to a movie with my boyfriend and they were searching people. He got searched and then walked on ahead while I took my turn. The guy searching me reached into my shirt and touched me inappropriately.I started screaming and a cop started yelling at him. My boyfriend came back and said “What’s taking so long?” and paid no attention to me crying. That’s the weird part to me, because he is not impatient and he is nice to me. So nice that when I woke up and texted him I had a bad dream he called me and asked if I was ok.

Lauri:¬†¬†It seems some situation or some person in your waking life is getting too close for comfort… at least at the time of this dream. Your chest area is brought to attention in this dream, which makes me wonder if you were recently feeling pressured to open up and get something off your chest, so to speak. It could even be pressure you were putting on yourself.

It’s very interesting that your boyfriend asks you what is taking so long. Even though he is the one that says it in the dream, it is really a question you are posing to yourself. What is it YOU feel is taking so long? Is it taking a long time for you to feel comfortable enough to open up about something? Could it be those three powerful words you aren’t quite sure you’re ready to say yet? Or is it something else?

The fact that you are crying could mean that it’s taking a long time to heal from an upsetting situation, perhaps a healing from a previous relationship. Whatever it is, it may be time to open up about it.

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it.

 

 

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