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Dream Interpretation: We Both Dreamed About Her Deceased Husband

January 2, 2014

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Toulouse-Lautrec via Wiki Images

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

My girlfriend and I had the same dream of her deceased husband who passed 2 yrs ago. She dreamt that he came back and he was ok with her staying with me even tho he is back. And I dreamt he asked me nicely to go as he wants to be with his family again. What does this mean?

Lauri: Having the same or similar dream as someone else on the same night is called shared dreaming and it usually happens to two people who are very close: husband and wife, best friends, mother and daughter, etc. The reason why is because the two individuals are dealing with the same issue and their subconscious responds to it similarly by giving them comparable dreams.

That being said, do you recall if the day before this dream you and your girlfriend spoke about her deceased husband? In both your dreams he came back, which makes me think perhaps the two of you brought up marriage or perhaps having a deeper commitment to each other.

Her dream is very telling in that it shows us she is ready to move on and love again. That’s a big deal! I can’t tell you how many women I have done dream work with that won’t move on because they feel as though they would be cheating on their husband. But your dream shows some apprehension.

Him telling you that he wants to be with his family again seems to reflect a concern you may have that his presence will continue to be felt in this relationship. Do you worry that your girlfriend compares you to him? It sounds like she has children. Do you worry that if you married her, her children may not welcome you?

Remember, dreams are a conversation with the self, so your inner dialogue shows some serious concern. Let this be an opportunity to bring this up to her and you can start the conversation by reminding her of this dream. Dreams are the most honest expressions we have. If you are upfront and honest about this, she’ll appreciate it and will likely reassure you… if her dream hasn’t done that for you already. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

Dreamer’s response: Thank you so much for informing us of the meaning of our dreams. Yes, we have been talking about us and the future so I guess it‚Äôs a sort of acceptance and closure. She dreams about her husband a lot and all I say is, he comes to visit in her dreams to see if she is ok. And yes she has children and we get along very well.

Her husband was a great man and she loved him to bits. I think she does not compare me to him but because it was so sudden and then all of a sudden meeting me it’s been a quick transition from loving one to another. But we both care about each other very much. But I understand what it means now and I will definitely keep in touch. Again, thank you very much.

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book,¬†Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too!¬†Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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Dream Interpretation: I Was Wearing a Flaccid Strap-On

December 4, 2013

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Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

The other day, my boyfriend told me he dreamed I was wearing a strap-on. The catch is, it was a flaccid penis rather than a hard one. What could this possibly mean?

Lauri:¬†Since it’s his dream, you’ll have to do your best to get inside his head for me. Now, I will assume that you guys are not into gender-bending roleplay in the bedroom, in which case this dream seemed to have come out of left field, correct? If so, the flaccid strap on — which would likely be an abysmal failure in the sex toy market — is more about your male assertive energy.

This dream seems to suggest that your boyfriend feels that you have the ability to “put on” an assertive role in your life, an ability to “stand up” for yourself and be “firm” when you need to but, instead, you are being “soft” and meek. It may be regarding one particular instance rather than in general, but nonetheless, it seems your honey believes in you but you aren’t fully applying yourself. In other words, “man up,” sista!

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book,¬†Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too!¬†Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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Dream Interpretation: Another Couple Made Out in Front of Us

November 21, 2013

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photo via flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

Hello, I had a dream that I was in my husband’s room and I looked over and saw a girl and guy we both knew making out. My husband left as soon as he saw it. I just sat there, upset he’d gone. When he came back he started yelling at me and saying that he didn’t want to be with me, he didn’t want to touch me. He told me we could still be married but he didn’t want to be physically intimate or emotional with me. He seemed jealous of the other couple. I went on to say then I will go be with someone else. He got mad and slapped me. The couple then stopped making out and the girl told him not to hurt me. It was a horrible dream. My husband has never done anything like what I dreamt, so my dream is confusing and scary. What does it mean??

Lauri:¬†Your husband’s room? As in bedroom? If you two aren’t sharing a room then, odds are, you are missing out on many opportunities for intimacy. Perhaps this works for you. Maybe he’s a snorer, but whatever the case, the marital bed is a very important ingredient to an intimate marriage.

This may be what the other couple in the dream represents, as they were being intimate. They are the “other couple” you guys used to be… or that you want to be. All the anger and the jealousy your husband is showing in your dream is really your anger and jealousy. This is your dream, your creation, therefore your emotions.

Are you mad at yourself? Are you mad at the circumstances of your marriage? Are you feeling more like roommates — not sharing a bedroom, not very emotional or intimate — rather than a married couple? I believe the slap in the dream was a slap in the face from your subconscious; it seems to be trying to slap you into reality that perhaps your marriage needs a some spice and passion.

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book,¬†Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too!¬†Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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Dream Interpretation: My Straight Husband Received Gay Oral

November 13, 2013

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photo via flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

My husband, two nights in a row, has dreamed of oral sex. The first night was him getting a blow job from Tully on Australian Big Brother and the second night was him getting blow job from Ben from the same show!!! OMG! Am I insufficient?

Lauri:¬†My goodness, I hope not! Surely Hubby would let you know if your oral skills weren’t up to par. Don’t worry. These dreams are more about him than they are about you.

Oral sex in a dream is often about communication in real life… intimate conversation to be more precise. Since your husband was on the receiving end of the oral sex, it is likely that he was on the receiving end of this conversation in real life. ¬†The givers in these dreams are clues as to what this intimate conversation may have been about. The common thread is that they are both on Big Brother. So it may not be so much about these people but more about what Big Brother represents to your husband (dream interpretation is like the game connect the dots). Did husband feel on display recently? Was he under scrutiny? Was he worried about being scrutinized and evicted in some way, kicked out of something at work or in his family or social group?

Whatever the case, it seems a good, honest and intimate conversation was had over the situation and that he has been… left satisfied!

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book,¬†Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too!¬†Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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Dream Interpretation: I Dreamed My Crush Was Under Anesthesia

November 7, 2013

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photo via flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I had a dream about a coworker that I have a crush on — we both work in the O.R. I am sure of two things: 1. He doesn’t know I like him, and 2. He is WAY out of my league.

I had a dream that he was on the table and under anesthesia. Everyone just walked out of the room and I was left standing there alone and very upset about his condition. His head was turned very far to the right, which made the intubation that much more obvious. I was crying and rubbing his neck, and saying over and over again, “You have to be ok. You can’t do this. You have to be ok.” Once I said, “You have to come back to me.” I actually woke up crying a little from this.

Lauri: As upsetting as this dream was for you, I believe it is trying to help you manage your emotions in regards to your co-worker. In the dream he is under anesthesia because in real life he is oblivious and not awake to the fact that you dig him. You are rubbing his neck/throat area in the dream for two reasons, I believe:

1. The neck/throat area is where the voice comes from. Have there been times where you really wanted to voice yourself to him?

2. Voicing your interest in him would really put both of your “necks” on the line as far as your job goes. I mean, you guys are working in an operating room… the absolute last place there should be any distraction whatsoever!¬†But you know this; your dream reflects this knowledge.

Finally, what you say to him in the dream is what you are really saying to yourself in regards to him (I always say, dreams are a conversation with the self): “You have to be okay. You can’t do this.” YOU have to be okay. YOU can’t let this attraction overpower you. YOU can’t do this, i.e. you can’t tell him how you feel and you can’t let it get the best of you.

And I believe when you say, “You have to come back to me,” you are really saying you have to bring your thoughts and focus back to yourself so you can continue to perform at your best while in the O.R. And this is where your sadness over his potential death comes in to play. Deep down, you know it just can’t be, and so, through this dream, you are expressing your sadness over this reality. I understand. You can’t help whom you are attracted to but you are a human and we humans have will power and self control, and through this dream, I believe you are drawing upon yours.

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book,¬†Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too!¬†Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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Dream Interpretation: I Liked My Bi Dream, Does That Mean I’m Bi?

October 24, 2013

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Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I had a dream last night where my best friend (a girl, like me) and I had sex…and I enjoyed it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Does that mean I am BI??????????????????

Lauri: No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  If you were bisexual, you would probably know it by now.  Everybody gets naughty dreams where they are with the same gender. And gay people get dreams where they are with the opposite sex. Dreams are not to be taken literally because they speak in a symbolic language.

In addition, sex dreams aren’t commenting on your sexuality, they are commenting on your psyche. ¬†Most often, sex dreams are really about the union of qualities, mindsets or opinions. If you look at it this way — psychologically rather than sexually — it makes sense that you would have had such a dream with your BFF.

The day before you must have really connected in some way, united emotionally and/or psychologically. In a nutshell, the two of you came together in your dream because you “came together” on some level in real life. ¬†Make sense??????????????????

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book,¬†Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too!¬†Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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My Fiance Bit Me Like a Vampire in His Sleep

October 20, 2013

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nosferatu_vampireimage by King Chimp, from “Nosferatu”

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I am big into pain while having sex, and I am also into vampires. My¬†fiance and I live together and he knows about the things I like. Well, one night while we were both sleeping he snuck up on me like vampire. Like he was lying next to me in bed and slowly¬†creeped on top of me. He then pushed my shoulders down holding me tight and bit my neck. I liked every second of this because I LOVE being dominated and controlled in the bedroom. What I don’t get is why he did this while he was sleeping. After about 10 seconds, he let go, turned around and went back to sleep.¬†He didn’t even remember doing it the next day! What does it mean? Am I just lucky or should I be worried?
Lauri: Aw, man.Too bad for you he didn‚Äôt continue!!While it is not unusual to talk in one‚Äôs sleep, it is more unusual to act out while asleep.So I have a few questions for you to pose to your boyfriend.Does he have a history of sleep walking?Sleep walkers in childhood often go through phases of it again as adults and it’s often triggered by stress.While he didn‚Äôt actually get up and walk, he did act out so if he did sleep walk as a child, keep an eye on him in case he actually makes it out of bed next time.Is he on any sleep aids such as Ambien?Ambien has been known to cause all kinds of parasomnias, which are abnormal and unnatural movements, behaviors, emotions and perceptions that occur while falling asleep, sleeping, between sleep stages, or arousal from sleep. One of the most reported parasomnias caused by Ambien is sleep sex!If he answered no to all of the above, then keep yourself aware of his sleep behavior.If he acts out again, start keeping track.It couldbe the beginnings of REM Behavior Disorder where people act out their violent dreams.It mostly affects men and, of the men affected, most are middle aged.It can be treated with muscle relaxers should that wind up being the case.But odds are it is nothing to worry about and should give you a great role playing game idea for the bedroom‚Ķ if you haven‚Äôt acted that out already.

Response from dreamer: This does seem right. He said that he was caught sleep walking once as a child, but hasn’t noticed or been told about it besides that.¬† We have had sex after “waking up” in the middle of the night, and he hasn’t ever remembered it the next day. I have told him about it, and he just is in amazement that it happened. He is not on any kind of sleeping medications.¬† He also grinds his teeth really bad while he sleeps. Is this a part of REM Behavioral Disorder? Thank you for taking the time and answering my questions! It eases my mind to know that him acting like a vampire in his sleep isn’t really anything to worry about.

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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Dream Interpretation: I Banged My Boss!

October 4, 2013

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Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I only hangout with people I work with — mostly guys who are 8 or more years older than I am. I’ve never been uncomfortable with this, in fact I’ve had a few flings with two of them. But I had a dream that I had a serious romantic relationship with my boss who is middle-aged, but attractive. I haven’t thought of him in this way at all until I had this dream. In it, my parents encouraged a marriage between us that I wasn’t wanting at all yet he and my parents forced me to marry him. How could I have such a dream?

Lauri: Shagging the boss in your dreams can sure make it difficult to come into work the next day, huh? Remember, sex dreams are not necessarily about the person but rather about what he or she represents.

In the case of your boss it is most likely power, authority, management skills, decision making, etc. that you need to merge into your own life. Your parents are even encouraging marriage in this dream. In real life what have your parents been encouraging you to do? Take on more responsibility? Better management skills? Or maybe it’s your job in general that they are wanting to be long term for you?

You don’t want to do this in the dream so it must be connected to something in real life you aren’t to keen on… but that may in fact benefit you, regardless. Where in your life do you need to take on the role of boss?¬† Are you facing a tough decision?¬† Do you need to fire or get rid of a certain element, person or behavior in your life? ¬†Or perhaps you simply need to merge with your boss psychologically in order to deal with a client or project. Whatever the case, the message of this dream is that it’s time to take charge! Being decisive and authoritative would suit you well now.
Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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Dream Interpretation: Abusive Ex-Boyfriend Is Still In My Dreams

September 26, 2013

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Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I had a dream that my current boyfriend tried to attack me last night. I was involved in a previous relationship that was abusive and still have fears about it. I woke up crying and I scared my boyfriend to the point where he doesn’t wanna be bothered with me. I try to remember the dream, but something won’t really allow me to. Please help.

Lauri:¬†Unfortunately I hear about this sort of thing all too often, a woman who was in an abusive relationship continuing to have nightmares about it long after she got out. Sigh. Breaks my heart. It’s a traumatic thing to live in constant fear of being pummeled at a moment’s notice. It really wrecks your sense of self worth and your sense of security, and obliterates your peace of mind!

Even though you are out of the relationship, your psyche hasn’t calmed down and you still hold onto the fear and it is expressed through your dreams. Your dreams can’t move forward until you move forward, and that is going to take a little bit of work, mostly on your part — but it sure would be helpful if your current boyfriend gave you some support too. He doesn’t want to be bothered with you? What kind of bullshit is that? The biggest predictor of future behavior is past behavior. If this is how he reacts to your very understandable issue, I wouldn’t expect him to be terribly helpful to you in the future. Sheesh already!

Luckily, this is something you can make great strides in with or without Mr. Can’t-Be-Bothered. First of all, realize that you are giving yourself these dreams; they are a creation of your own subconscious, therefore you can change and even put a stop to them! Typically, writing down the dream and then re-writing the ending the way you would like it to play out can work wonders.

But since you aren’t able to remember the details of the dream, journaling at bedtime will work just as well. It is crucial you journal right before you turn out the light to go to sleep, because what is on your mind as you drift off will affect your dreams.

I would start by writing a letter to yourself, and in that letter you need to do a couple things. First, forgive yourself for being in the relationship as long as you were. A lot of women who have been in abusive relationships continue to figuratively beat themselves up for staying in the relationship way longer than they should have. That does not help. So write yourself a forgiveness letter.

Then, write yourself a love letter. Yes, a love letter. If that seems crazy and you can’t imagine doing it, just pick three things you like about yourself: one thing you like about your physical appearance, one thing you like about your personality, and one thing you’ve done that you’re kinda proud of. Then expand a little bit on these three things. This will help you to build yourself back up after your ex has torn you down. This will also help you let go of unnecessary emotional baggage such as contempt for yourself. Do this every night for a while. When you make it a habit of going to bed feeling good about yourself, your dreams can’t help but follow the pattern!

In addition, it wouldn’t hurt to take some martial arts or a self-defense class. May as well build up your physical strength while you are building back up your inner strength. Be consistent with the journaling, make yourself physically stronger, and you’ll be surprised what a powerful force you’ll become in your own life… and your dreams will become pretty freaking cool as well! Keep us posted, will you?

 
Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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Dream Interpretation: My Ex and My Current Boyfriend Are Interchangeable

September 19, 2013

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photo via Flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I had a dream where my current boyfriend of six months, whom I just moved in with a few months ago, and my ex boyfriend (we were together and lived together for three years) interchangeably play the same role in my dream. One second in my dream it’s my current boyfriend, the next he is my ex. In the dream I am being rejected not in a harsh way but I am not wanted in my new home and my boyfriend has another non-sexual heterosexual male friend over. I am there to collect my belongings. I feel a sense of apprehension and a small amount of pain. I have been thinking of my ex but I am content in my current relationship. This has just left me a tad bit confused and curious as to how I am really feeling about my life right now. Seeing as though I never remember any of my dreams, this one definitely seems to have some significance.

Lauri:¬†Indeed this dream has quite a bit of significance and it seems to be showing you that you haven’t fully let go of your ex, or at least fully let go of any resentment, anger, and feelings of victimhood that the relationship may have caused.

According to your dream, by not fully letting go, you are essentially allowing your ex to reside with you and your current boyfriend. He is renting out space in your head! That ex must have really done a number on you. It’s very common when someone goes through a horrible break up to bring the pain into their next relationship, which is totally unfair to the new love interest. Be honest with yourself; is this what you are doing?

You should also ask yourself if perhaps your current boyfriend is cut from the same cloth as your ex. Do you keep falling for the same personality type? Is your current boyfriend starting to exhibit similarities in behavior and the way he treats you as your ex did? If so, your dream may be warning you that you are pretty much dating the same person. This is up to you to decipher. If your current boyfriend is becoming eerily similar to the ex then you need to realize that you don’t need to learn that lesson a second time and get out.

If your current boyfriend is nothing like your ex, then your dream is showing you that you MUST let go of the resentment because there is not enough room in your life, or your home, for both your boyfriend and your anger. Three’s a crowd, dahling.

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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