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Dream Interpretation: My Dreams Are Always Lesbian (But I’m Not)

August 8, 2013

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photo via flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

My dream is usually about people who don’t really exist but it’s always lesbian-related — why is that, if I’m not a lesbian? And the dreams never get into having sex, it’s just a tease — why is that?

Lauri:  It is common to have people in your dream that don’t exist in real life. These people are actually parts of yourself. The dreaming mind will give form to all the different parts of you so that you can gain a better, deeper perspective of yourself and your life.

I believe the unknown women in your dream represents parts of you that desire, hence the lesbian activity.  But you’ve not obtained this yet, hence the teasing and no sex. Are you “flirting” with the idea of changing careers for example? What do you want to change about yourself or bring into your life that you don’t yet have? In what way do you want your identity or sense of self to change?

The fact that these are females in your dream as opposed to males may mean that you the part of you that you desire to become most likely involves female energy such as a nurturing or creative role. That’s what these females are and they keep teasing you in the dream in order to keep you enticed in real life so that you will continue to pursue and finally, ahem, nail what it is you desire.

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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Dream Interpretation: I Watched My Boyfriend Sleep

August 1, 2013

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photo via flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I went in to wake my boyfriend up and there was a little boy lying in bed right next to him. The little boy was about 5 or so. I just stood there and watched for a minute. They both were having a dream I could tell because both of them were moving their mouth & eyes were fluttering a lot. When I looked at the boy his were doing the exact same thing. I woke my boyfriend up & told him, “It’s funny when y’all sleep & dream you make the same expressions.”

It’s weird because I don’t usually see faces in my dreams and both of them I did. We were at my grandparents home except it was decorated differently, more modern. My boyfriend handed me a letter in a sealed envelope but I never got to read it.

Lauri: This dream is probably telling you quite a bit about your relationship! The five-year-old boy just may represent the child-like part of your boyfriend… whether that is a good thing or not, I suppose, is up to you. This is why they were doing the exact same thing, because they are the exact same person.

It is very interesting that they were both dreaming. Is there anything lately that your boyfriend has said or is attempting to do that you feel is not realistic; something that might cause you to say, “Yeah! Keep dreaming!”? This also took place at your grandparents home. This could mean that something in the relationship is starting to get old.

The envelope you never got to open and read is very important. This points to a communication issue within the relationship. It seems you are not really getting your boyfriend lately. I think the sealed envelope suggests that you may not be “open” to what your boyfriend has been trying to get across to you.

It might be time to listen without thinking about what you are going to say while he is still talking. I think we’re all guilty of that from time to time. Sometimes writing each other a letter or an email is a good way to get a much needed conversation going. This way you can get all your thoughts in order. You have time to be thoughtful and careful about what you want to say AND in return neither of you can interrupt the other. Give it a try. Your dreaming mind seems to think it would be a good idea!

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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Dream Interpretation: I Rip Off My Wedding Dress

July 25, 2013

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photo via flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

Last night I had a dream where I walked into a venue with a stranger (whom I have never met) to get married. I felt apathetic and neutral about him and getting married. As we walked in, there were several brides who were also waiting to get married to their significant others.

My “fiancĂ©” greeted his mother and introduced me, as this was the first time meeting. I remember trying really hard to seem lovely and she gave me an uneasy, judgmental response. I then introduced her to my mother who gave the woman an even more uneasy, stuck-up judgmental response where the “mother in law” became extremely angry and upset refusing to go through with the wedding. My stranger “fiancĂ©” rushed by her side to calm her down leaving me with feelings of regret.

I ripped off my wedding dress to where I was naked from the waist up, using my tulle fabric I had ripped to cover my breasts and I followed my brothers out of the venue crying on the walk home. Can you please help me decipher what this dream means?

Lauri:  Dreaming of a wedding — unless you are in the planning stages of one — is really more about a commitment you have made in waking life to something, someone or even to yourself. The apathy you feel in the dream suggests that you were feeling apathetic towards something in real life you were obligated to do. And just as you were trying to seem lovely to the mother in law in the dream, you were probably trying to make the best of this obligation in real life…or were at least trying to act as if you cared about it.

Ripping your wedding dress off from the waist up reflects your desire to get your disdain for this commitment or obligation “off your chest.” Also, the ripping of the fabric symbolizes how “torn” you were at the time of this dream as to whether stick to this commitment or not.

The judgmental attitudes of the two mothers suggests you were very concerned about how others may view you if you were to go through with the commitment or obligation. The entirety of the dream, I believe, is a strong message you were sending yourself that this simply is not for you.

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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Dream Interpretation: I Sprouted Five Penises!

July 18, 2013

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image of South Korea’s Penis Park via Tripologist

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

All right, this is extremely strange and I woke up very relieved that it wasn’t real. In my dream I grew a penis. I was shocked, as I am a woman. I started to get very scared and wore different girdles and things to hide it. Then my body started sprouting more of them! I eventually ended up showing a few people, including my best friend, my mom and my ex-boyfriend. I was panicking. I still had a vagina, but also by this time 4 large penises and 1 sort of mediocre penis but no testicles to speak of. I went on the internet in my dream to see if I could find a pro-bono surgeon to remove them! I remember telling myself in my dream, “You are a woman! You’ve had a child! You get your period!” I woke up very glad to just have… me down there. Does this dream mean something?

Lauri:  If you’re a regular reader of this column, you’ll see that gender-bending in dreams is more common than you might think. When we sprout or lose genitalia in a dream, it’s important to know that it’s not so much about our “junk,” but more about the masculine or feminine energy that junk represents.

Male genitalia often represents assertive energy. “Grow a pair” or “man up” are things we tend to say when we encourage others to behave in a more aggressive or assertive manner. “Pussy whipped” or “he’s such a pussy,” etc., are the (not very nice) ways we refer to someone who is being passive or submissive.

This picture language that we use while awake is exactly the way our dreams work… except our dreams bring that picture language to life! Now, as far as your dream is concerned, it seems you are certainly “manning up” in your real life. And since you sprouted several penises, it could be that there are several areas of your life where you are discovering your ability to “stand firm”… ahem, and be assertive.

It’s interesting, however, that you are trying to hide them and even research a surgeon to remove them. This indicates that you are not comfortable having to take on a more aggressive or forceful role. We gals certainly “have the balls” to handle our issues, but fear using this power because we don’t want to be labeled the B word. Is this what you are going through? Don’t be afraid to be a ball buster, when the time is right. It’s all about finding the right balance of feminine, nurturing energy and male assertive energy. This goes for both genders. Yin and Yang, positive and negative… wasted and sober, everything in moderation and balance!

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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I’m Straight But My Dreams Are of Lesbian Heartbreak

July 11, 2013

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Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

Lately I’ve been having dreams about being in love with a woman. So in love that when I wake up I still feel the emotion and heartbreak of it. I am a happily married woman to a man with a 2 and a half year old son. I’ve never been in love with a woman in real life. I believe that I have no sexual attraction to women of any sort. So anyway, in these dreams, I feel greatly in love with a woman and it seems like that love is never satisfied. Either because the woman I’m in love with doesn’t love me back or they are already committed to someone else. Please help me put sense into these dreams!!!

Lauri:  In my latest book Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, I have a list of the 10 Rules to Remember when interpreting your dreams. One of those rules is that the emotion you feel in the dream can always be directly connected to that same emotion you are having over something in real life. So let’s start there.

In your real life lately, what is causing you heartbreak? Where in your life are you feeling unfulfilled or even rejected? You were also in love in the dream. This may be more about something in your waking life that you are very passionate about, perhaps a cause or even a talent or hobby. Whatever it is, it seems you aren’t getting a return out of it, leaving you with a sense of emptiness or rejection.

And finally, the woman in the dream is most likely some part of YOU! So think about that for a moment. Is there a part of you that you are felling disconnected from, a part of you that you really like? Maybe the thinner you before kids? Maybe the more adventurous, fun loving, carefree you? Maybe the working you (did you quit working after the baby came)? This dream is letting you kn0w that you need to reconnect with that part of yourself or reconnect with that passion, cause or hobby, etc, because your inner self seems to be missing it terribly.

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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Dream Interpretation: My Husband Wants a Divorce

June 27, 2013

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photo via Flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

In my dream, I ask my husband for his phone and he gives it to me. While browsing his messages I see two from two different girls that say “I love you.” I ask him who these girls are and he says that the first girl is some kind of a fling and the second girl is “different.” As I’m asking what “different” means, he tells me that he wants a divorce. I cry a lot and while I’m crying he’s constantly saying good things about this second girl as if he’s very proud of her. This was a very terrible nightmare for me. What does it mean? Help please.

Lauri:  Dreaming that our mate is cheating is actually an unbelievably common dream, and it usually has nothing to do with an actual affair that may be going on. So let’s get the obvious out of the way: Other than this dream, do you have any reason to suspect hubby may be getting his pleasures elsewhere?

If not, then this dream is more likely connected to something else within the marriage that needs to be addressed. The two girls on the phone most likely represent two things your husband has affection for, such as a sport or hobby or maybe even his job.  The fling may be something in real life that was a temporary interest or a passing phase that your husband gave a lot of attention to and the other girl is most likely something your husband is really into like golf or the X Box. And just as he is leaving you in the dream it is something he leaves you to go do in real life.

Odds are, this dream is alerting you to the fact that there may be some sort of divide that is developing in the marriage. That’s the most common reason behind a divorce dream; it’s not about a divorce but a divide such as a separation of ideas, a difference of opinion, or even a divide as far as one of the spouses travelling too much. Whatever the case, the phone in this dream is where the answer is for you: Communication. Open those lines of communication and you’ll find out what the other one really needs you to know.

Dreamer Response: Thank you for your response. Everything has been clear with your explanation and it’s really true. Thank God it’s not what my dream literally means. Yes, me and my husband have different ideas and opinions since we come from different races. I’ll visit your site more to read your advice. Thank you so much!

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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Dream Interpretation: I Watched a Guy Dance Naked

June 20, 2013

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Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I dreamt of a nude guy dancing in front of a car, and celebrities are watching him. I was also there in line with them so I could also see him. It’s very weird. What does it mean?

Lauri:  When trying to figure out your dream, it’s important to remember that everything in your dream is symbolic of you or something in your life. Therefore, this dancing naked man is YOU!

Typically, nudity in a dream is connected to feeling embarrassed or vulnerable over something in your real life. But since people were lined up to watch him AND he was dancing about, I’m thinking it may have more to do with opening up about something, getting something off your chest, freeing yourself of something you had been keeping under wraps, perhaps.

And the dancing is the joy you feel because of it. Now, if this doesn’t sound like you recently, it is likely someone directly around you. The celebrities may be your desire for recognition and applause for opening up. Oh, and all this going on in front of a car? That could mean that you can now move on and forward!

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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The 10 Types of Sex Dreams

June 13, 2013

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available on Amazon

Freud, Schmroid. If you’re looking for a good book on the interpretation of dreams, check out the one by our very own Lauri Loewenberg, dream interpreter extraordinaire! Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams, Change Your Life (published by St. Martin’s Press) features hundreds of real dream interpretations and a comprehensive dream symbol dictionary to help you understand and make the most of your nocturnal visions, especially the sexy ones. There’s an entire chapter dedicated to sex dreams, which Lauri says are often “not about a physical union you want, but rather a psychological union you need!” There are 10 kinds of sex dreams; below are 5 of them; check out Dream On It for the other five archetypes (The Friend, The Same Gender, Oral Sex, Family Members, and Masturbation):

  1. The Mystery Lover – This is the most common of all sex dreams. Many of us wonder if this dream is actually a glimpse of our soul mate who might be out there somewhere waiting for us.  Alas, t’is not so.  But what is so is that the unknown, faceless man or woman that often appears in our dreams does indeed hold significance….Our dreams have a cool way of showing us the different parts of our personality in the form of a person so we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and what makes us tick. That being said, the mystery lover in your dreams is the embodiment, the personification of the qualities we tend to associate with that gender….Throughout life we struggle to incorporate the right balance of each [gender] into our personalities and behavior.  A man wants to be caring and understanding, yet he doesn’t want to be a sissy.  A woman wants to assert herself, yet she doesn’t want to be labeled the B word!  Our mystery lover dreams are guiding us towards that perfect balance of firm and gentle, bold and caring, yin and yang.
  2. Cheating — These dreams can be infuriating, worrisome and the cause of many a slap across the face first thing in the morning.  In fact, in a recent survey I conducted with over 5000 participants, the cheating dream came in as the #1 most common dream! As upsetting as these dreams can be, the good news is that they rarely indicate that your mate is getting his or her pleasures elsewhere.  They do suggest, however, that something rather than someone is taking the time and attention from your mate that you feel you deserve.
…[If] you are the one straying in your dreams you need to ask yourself what you may be doing that is taking your attention away from your mate.  The guilt you feel in the dream is a tell tale sign that, deep down, you are aware that this may not be sitting well with your significant other….Once you can pinpoint what it is your mate is “cheating on you” with, or what you may be guilty of giving too much time to, it’s time to compromise.  Offer to give up or cut back on something your mate isn’t a big fan of if he or she promises to cut back on the activity that is causing you to feel left out. If you both stick to the compromise, you’ll find that the dreams will stop.
  3. The Ex — Past lovers are very popular characters in our naughty dreams. Even though it may be light years since you were with this person, he or she STILL continues to appear in your dreams, bringing those old feelings back to the surface that leave you wondering if you still may be holding a flame.  

Most often, the ex we dream about the most is our first love.  Strangely enough, we continue to dream of our first loves, even if we’ve moved on into a happy marriage.  Don’t worry, it’s not that you want the ex back, it’s that you want what he or she represents back: excitement, bubbles, passion!  You are likely to get these dreams when you are in a dry spell or when your marriage or current relationship gets a little too routine and humdrum, as all relationships do from time to time.  Your dream is using your ex to remind you of the passion that is still alive inside of you.  These dreams are actually good for you and are alerting you to the fact that the passion department doesn’t want to become a thing of the past.
  4. The Co-Worker – This dream can make work a very uncomfortable place to be. Unless your co-worker causes your heart to skip a beat and your mind to wander into naughty, naughty land, then your sex dream(s) about him or her are nothing to cause you concern.  However, understanding the dream is well worth your while because odds are, that dream is actually trying to help you improve yourself at work.  Your dreaming mind may be telling you that you need to “come together” on some level with your co-worker, for the sake of work, that you need to have a meeting of the minds in order to make co-existing and co-working more efficient.  

But what if you don’t really have much to do with a particular co-worker during the day but you find yourself knocking boots at night?  All you need to do is ask yourself what stands out about that person.  Is he really good with computers?  Does the boss seem to favor her?   Maybe he’s easy going and doesn’t seem to have a care in the world.  There is very likely a quality he or she possesses that your dreaming mind feels you would do well to take on as your own.
  5. The Boss – Shagging your employer at night can sure make it difficult to come into work the next day.  If this is the case with you, remember, sex dreams are not necessarily about the person but rather about what he or she represents.  In the case of your boss it is most likely power, authority, management skills, decision making, et cetera that you need to merge into your own life.
 Do you need to take on the role of boss at home and better manage those unruly kids?  Are you facing a tough decision?  Do you need to fire or get rid of a certain element, person or behavior in your life?  Or perhaps you simply need to merge with your boss psychologically in order to deal with a client or project. Whatever the case may be, your boss dream is telling you that it’s time to take charge! Being decisive and authoritative would suit you well now.

For more on the 5 sex dreams above and to discover the meaning behind the other 5 most common sex dreams — The Friend, The Same Gender, Oral Sex, Family Members, and Masturbation – check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.



Dream Interpretation: My BF Dreamed We Had a Threeway

June 6, 2013

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photo via flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

Technically, this isn’t my dream, it’s the dream of a guy I’ve recently started to become intimate with. We were introduced by one of his close mutual friends (who is also a close friend of mine) at a college social function and went from there. Recently, he told me of a very bizarre dream that unsettled him. In this dream he, I, and the mutual friend were at the beach. Some way or another, the three of us ended up having a threesome on the beach. My guy friend woke up and was angry at our mutual friend. What does the dream mean?

Lauri:  Typically, the emotion we wake up with can be connected to that same emotion we are having over something in our waking life, so you’ll have to ask your boyfriend what, at the time of this dream, was angering him in real life.

The threesome could mean he feels your mutual friend is getting in the middle of your and his business in some way. Is your mutual friend being a little too nosy or taking too much credit for the relationship? Or perhaps your mutual friend represents friendship in general, in which case the threesome suggests your boyfriend feels that there is friendship and intimacy within your relationship.

Remember, sexual activity in a dream is more about incorporating that which you need into your life or into your self rather than it being about physical desire… which leads me to believe that the anger aspect of the dream could also mean that your boyfriend is struggling with the idea of friendship vs. intimacy with you. Perhaps he’s worried if things don’t workout that the friendship between the two of you will be lost.

Hopefully this has given you some good talking points to go over with your boyfriend and the two of you can figure it out together. Discussing your dreams with each other is a great way to stay plugged in!

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

 

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Dream Interpretation: My Recurring Lesbian Friend Dream

May 30, 2013

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Strength and Patience by Hendrick Goltzius (1500s)

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I keep having a reoccurring dream were I am sleeping with a friend who is in a committed lesbian relationship and has just had a baby too. What does this mean? Please help!

Lauri:  Recurring dreams are typically caused by one of two things: a recurring behavior pattern, each time you exhibit the behavior you get the dream or an ongoing issue, for as long as the issue continues so will the dream. In your case, I think the latter may be the case.

Now, remember, dreams are symbolic and not to be looked at literally, therefore your friend is probably not playing herself as much as she symbolizes something you desire. Sex dreams are usually about that which we wish to unite or incorporate into our own life or our own behavior (sex is the ultimate union, after all). That being said, perhaps she represents the idea of being in a committed relationship and starting a family. Is that something you would like to incorporate into your life? If not, then what else stands out about this friend? Is she really easy going, for example, and do you wish you could take on her laissez–faire attitude?

A good way to figure it out is to play the word association game and pick three words that first come to mind when you think of her. Once you’ve got them, see if you can really relate to any of them or see if you desire any of them for yourself. Odds are, you’ll make that connection. The next thing to do, is work on making that a part of your own life or a part of your self. Once you do, the dream will stop.

Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.
 
 
 
 
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