Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I’ve had a recurring dream that tends to confuse me. In the dream I’m on a date with a guy friend of mine. All is going well and then we get back to my apartment and he presses me against the wall and we start stripping the other’s clothes off while making out. We leave a trail of clothing as we move down the hall. Then out of nowhere my ex & my current boyfriend show up. I start feeling anxious and keep kissing my friend; as he’s pressing me to the wall again, my boyfriend goes “No, she likes it more forceful, you have to pin her to the wall.”

The entire time one of them would stop the guy who I was trying to have sex with to correct his form or give him a tip on getting me off. While I was annoyed that they were giving him tips, it wasn’t bad and it was really kind of hot. It just freaks me out that I’ve had this dream at least 3 times in the past 2 months. What could it mean?

Lauri: Since this has been a recurring dream for about two months, it is connected to some issue that has been going on for about two months. Let’s see if we can figure it out.

I find it interesting that in your description of your dream that you mention being pressed against the wall twice and then pinned against the wall. This leads me to believe that this dream is connected to something in waking life that is causing you to feel under pressure and “up against the wall.” Are you out of options in some area of your life? Is the stress of something starting to become too much for you?

And why is it your friend you are getting hot and heavy with in the dream instead of your boyfriend? Let’s get the obvious out of the way first. Do you like him that way? If so, well… sometime’s a cigar’s just a cigar. If not, then there is something else about him that your inner mind feels you need to incorporate into your current relationship. What’s he like? Does he have a girlfriend? If so, what are they like? Can you model your relationship off of that somehow?

Also, the kissing and stripping – while very hot – is more likely symbolic of having open and honest communication. Stripping in a dream usually represents opening up and leaving nothing to hide and kissing usually represents communication because – like kissing – it takes two mouths to communicate. Your current boyfriend and ex are giving pointers to your friend. This may really be the way your inner mind is coaching you on what you really need and want in a relationship.

Remember, dreams are a conversation with the self, so whatever is being said in a dream, it is something you are telling yourself… open and honest communication seems to be the message here.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!

photo via Flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

Hi! I’m a 20-year-old girl who’s in a relationship with a great guy. The only problem is that I am very insecure about myself which is ruining everything. I don’t enjoy sex very much because of that. It’s gotten better lately, but I can’t call myself confident.

So I had a strange dream a while ago and it has disturbed me ever since. I was in an empty strip club, lying on the stage, naked. Then a girl approached me and got on the stage. I was very attracted to her but as she got closer to me I noticed that she looked exactly like me, from head to toe and she was naked as well. The only difference, she was very confident.

So she got on top of me and I noticed that I was wearing a strap-on. She was riding on it for a while and I was literally mesmerized by her. But then, in the blink of an eye, the scenery switched and she was wearing the strap-on and penetrating me. Then I woke up.

It was very disturbing to me because I love my boyfriend very much and I am bisexual so did this dream mean that I should explore new relationships? Perhaps with girls? Why was I having sex with a better version of myself? Was that a dream that I met myself from another dimension? I am very confused.

Lauri: Pink has a video where she seduces and makes love to herself. While some may perceive it as a shameless display of narcissism, it’s actually quite the opposite. The video is for the song “Sober” and the lyrics and the storyline of the video are all about her trying to love herself as a sober individual. Your dream is conveying the very same message to you… except for loving yourself sober your dream seems to want you to love yourself in general.

The strip club is all about you stripping away your insecurities. You find this other girl – who happens to be you – very attractive because you need to be attracted to yourself and your own unique and wonderful qualities. Notice how she gets on top of you first… what or whomever is above you in a dream usually represents what you aspire to. And in this case you aspire to be a more confident you.

Why the strap on? Well, it could be simply because that is how two women make love. But it could also be symbolic of how you may need to “put on” that assertive confident attitude in the beginning, even if – like a strap on – it’s fake. As they say, fake it til you make it! At the end of the dream, she penetrates you, showing you that you can bring this confidence into yourself. It is completely within the realm of possibility.

And in fact, it sounds like you’re off to a good start, which may be why you had the dream in the first place. So keep it at it, lass. Like a sexual encounter, the better you work it, the better the out – ahem – come.
Response from Dreamer: Oh my god thank you so much for replying to me, this means a lot. This is such a positive interpretation and it totally makes sense because deep down it’s like I knew what it meant but I needed the opinion of someone who knew more about dreams to motivate me and give me kind of a wake up call.

I have to admit that when I had this dream, I felt almost hopeless, like I had hit a point of no return and that I would never like myself because I was almost used to this. Well ever since this dream, I keep getting a little bit better. You even gave me a small confidence boost because at first, I was doubting myself and I thought it was not a message from my subconscious telling me to love myself and that I can actually find myself attractive just because I was so insecure. But knowing that now removes a weight off my shoulders and make me believe it is possible.

I almost feel like you know a small part of me now because that is how I truly feel inside. I feel that it is time for me to transform and be that confident girl and stop being in my shell. I’m only very uncertain as to how I am going to do this because it has become almost like a cycle, it is so natural to me now to be insecure, which is sad I know but you’re right, if I made myself insecure, I can certainly make myself confident. You are amazing and I really appreciate your time and effort. Thank you, you really made my day and gave me hope. Sweet dreams to you!

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!

photo via flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I am a guy and often dream that I suckle breast milk. I am 27 years old now and get this dream very frequently. It has been happening for the past 4 years and slowly I have got obsessed to have it in real life. Can you tell me what could be the reason?

Lauri: Hopefully I can help you out before you get to the point of trolling in the park for breastfeeding mothers or wet nurses! This has been going on for four years, which means it is connected to something that began four years ago and is still happening or affecting you today.

Let’s get the obvious out of the way: for the past four years, have you been “suckling off the teat” of someone’s kindness and generosity? If so, your dream may be showing you that you’ve become a bit too comfortable in that role. It could also mean that you’ve been allowing someone to baby you too much. Is your mother doting on you more than she should? Are you in a relationship where your significant other mothers you rather than treats you as an equal? Or do you simply need to grow up and man up in some area of your life?

When you are able to pinpoint the cause and make the necessary changes, the dream will stop… however, me thinks thou art in no rush to do so!

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

Okay, so lately I’ve been having a lot of dreams involving sex between me and somebody that’s not my boyfriend — in fact, it always ends up being somebody I know in real life! I would never cheat on him in waking life. So why do I keep dreaming that I do? In my dreams, I cheat, then feel guilty, then end up getting busted or know I’m going to get busted. Then I have some kind of weird scary dream after it. Does this mean anything? 

Lauri: Cheating dreams are REALLY common, however they usually consist of the dreamer being on the receiving end of the cheat. Nonetheless, the ones where the dreamer is the one doing the cheating are just as concerning to the dreamer.

The good news about these dreams is that, more often than not, they don’t point to an actual affair nor a desire to have an affair at all. They do however indicate there is some sort of third wheel in the relationship — not necessarily some person but rather some thing that is causing a bit of a wedge.

The guilt you feel in the dream is going to be directly connected to something in waking life you feel guilty about. Is there something you are spending too much time doing, like work or school or some project, that is causing you to feel bad about not giving your boyfriend enough of your time? Or is there something you feel is missing in the relationship and perhaps are having guilt over that?

Let’s look at who you are cheating with, as that may give us more to go on: guys you actually know. Is there anything about any of these guys that you secretly wish your boyfriend had, such as a personality trait or a physical attribute? Or perhaps they represent something you wish you had as a part of your own personality, behavior or status. Of course, it is also entirely possible that a cigar is just a cigar and you happen to find them attractive and are safely exploring them in your head.

The scary dreams that follow are certainly triggered by the guilt you feel upon awakening from the cheating dreams. The cheating dreams are not necessarily something you need to worry about but are more likely connected to a certain level of guilt you are harboring… because there is something… maybe not even a big thing… but something you feel a bit guilty about doing or thinking. Release the guilt and the dreams will stop.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I have had my eye on a guy for 8 years now. We are both married to other people. I recently started working for the fellow, which I stated I would never do, because I would end up sleeping with him. OK, so now I want to. The past 6 months I started having dreams about him, they get better all the time. I have had some sexual dreams in which I get embarrassed and stay away from him for a few days following these dreams.

Just recently, I find myself confused about how much I have really discussed with him and what I dreamed about discussing. This past week I almost grabbed his thigh, but at the last minute retracted my hand. I don’t know if this would cost me my job or if he would like me to be aggressive as he is my boss and he cannot pursue me. I am pretty sure he is interested, since he gets close to me and will reciprocate a quick touch. Just hoping to interpret the correct feelings or start sharing my erotic dreams with another candidate.

Lauri: It concerns me that you are having a hard time determining the difference between waking life conversation and dream conversation. Typically, that is a tale-tell sign that your mind is so consumed with this issue, that he is in your thoughts so much, your waking thoughts and your dreaming thoughts… that the line between what is real and what is not has blurred.

This may also be why your dreams of him are progressing in “betterness,” because your waking thoughts feed your dreams and your dreams feed your waking thoughts. You are also a good example of how we can program ourselves to dream about anything or anyone we want… simply by obsessing over it while awake.

Anyhoo, your question to me is how to interpret the correct feelings. His feelings? Or yours? I’m sure you are very aware of yours. His feelings, I cannot. Choose another candidate to be in your erotic dreams? Might be a good idea. Perhaps a movie star or someone else that is not within striking distance because your marriage and your livelihood are at risk here.
Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!

photo via Flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

Just last night I dreamed that I had a baby girl by my boyfriend. He was in and out of the house, but never realized or acknowledged that we had a child. A few days later, he asks me, “What is the baby’s name?” I say, “Oh I let the baby go with my other daughter so she and her friends named the baby ‘Forest Potato.’ He said, “What kind of name is that?” The next thing I know the little baby girl is walking. He still ignores her but admits he does not like the fact that the baby is with my other kids. In real life, we are not intimate right now, plus he is in and out and getting ready to move in a few weeks. Can you tell me what this dream — and especially the name — represents? 

Lauri: When relationships hit rough spots, your dreams are always a good source of information and advice because they are a reflection of your deepest, most honest feelings. Unless you are pregnant or trying to get pregnant, babies in dreams are often connected to something new in your life. In your case, I think it may be the new life your relationship has taken on: no intimacy and apparently not much time together.  This may be why he didn’t recognize that you had a baby in the dream… because perhaps he does not seem to recognize that the relationship has taken on this new life.

Now, the name the baby was given is awfully interesting: Forest potato! As funny as that it, there is a meaning behind it and I will try to help you find what it is. But first it is important to know that naming something in a dream is the way the inner mind identifies an issue or a problem in waking life. Potatoes are common, basic sustenance so it may represent that which can nourish and sustain your relationship. A forest, to the dreaming mind is usually about something that is mysterious or causing you to feel lost. But it could also be a reference to the old saying, “You can’t see the forest for the trees,” in other words not seeing the big picture that’s right in front of you. Is there a lot of mystery surrounding the current state of your relationship? Are you not seeing what is plain as day or do you think he is not seeing the value in your relationship? I believe the fact that your daughter and her friends named the baby means that there is some childishness in the relationship.

But the most important part of the message — as always — comes at the end of the dream when the baby was suddenly walking and he still wouldn’t recognize her. I think that is the way your dream is showing you that — even in the future — things with him are not likely to change.  Also, walking could be the operative word here. Are you concerned he might be getting ready to walk out of the relationship? Let us know!

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I always have dreams about my ex-boyfriend. It’s been 3 years since I was with him, and have been seeing my current boyfriend for 2 years. I am happy with my current partner, much happier then I was with my ex. However, I always have dreams involving my ex. I am always hot for him, we are often alone, and it’s almost always sexual, but he constantly turns me down. Sometimes he just walks through my dreams. But either way he is always there! What do my dreams mean? I am so happy right now and I don’t miss my ex at all!!

Lauri: The ex is a very common dream visitor. Ask all your friends and I’ll bet they tell you they dream of their exes also. Why so common? Well, it’s usually the first love or the one that did us the most wrong that we dream about the most, because of the deep impact of the feelings they caused within us: excitement and passion or pain and regret.

The ex will make an appearance in our dreams when something is causing us to experience similar feelings or when we need to bring those feelings back into our current life. For example when our current relationship becomes a bit too routine, the first love will show up in dreamland to remind us of the passion we desire. Or if the ex was abusive or broke your heart, he may make an appearance when you are feeling rejected or beat down in waking life. You see, it’s not so much about the ex, but more about the feelings that are attached to him.

In your case, your ex keeps turning you down. That is an interesting twist on the ex dream. It’s important to remember that your dreams are always commenting on the present, what is happening in your life, and what is affecting you at the present time. In what way are you feeling rejected in your waking life? Or what do you feel you aren’t getting?

The ex represents that which you want or need but don’t have. It could be that there is something from that old relationship that your current relationship needs. Or it could be more about you. What were you like when you were with your ex? Do you need any of that old you right now? Or is there anything about him, his personality, his way of doing things, his attitude that would benefit you if you incorporated that behavior or personality trait into your own self? Or perhaps there is something YOU need to reject. Anything that you can’t seem to let go of? Anything that still bothers you? Your dream may be telling you to reject it, as it is not welcome nor helpful to your current life.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!

photo via Flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a straight female reader asks Lauri:

I’ve had a lot of sexual dreams with girls I do not know. I’m not lesbian or bisexual. Yes, I do think women are beautiful but I wouldn’t consider being with one. So why do I keep having these dreams?

Lauri: You might be surprised how often I get asked about this dream. In fact, if you scroll through the archives you may find quite a few columns addressing this very theme. So let’s recap…

Most of the time, sex in a dream is not so much about a physical union you want but more about a psychological union you need. It is about merging certain qualities of your dream lover into your own personality. Your dream lovers, of late, have been unknown females. Unknown females in dreams often represent your own female qualities, which are typically creativity, sensuality and your ability to nurture yourself and those around you, etc.

Now, with these two things in mind, would you say – since you’ve been having these dreams — that you have taken on a more “girly” role in your life in some way? Have you been a nurturer to yourself or someone around you? Are you pregnant or thinking about becoming pregnant? Have you been turning on the sensuality? Have you been working on a creative venture? Whatever it is, your girl-on-girl dreams are telling you that your gender offers you powerful tools in life. When merged into your personality positively, your feminine wiles will get you far.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:

Whenever I sleep at my boyfriend’s place, I always have this dream of being caught sleeping with him naked by his parents or his grandmother. And it wakes me up in the middle of the night then I’ll have a problem going back to sleep. I’m kind of scared for that to happen because his family is conservative. Because of that, sometimes I would rather go home late at night than stay there and be worried while I’m sleeping. Is it like a premonition or am I just over-thinking?

Lauri: From what you have told me, it seems that your boyfriend lives with his parents and you often stay the night there secretly, right? In that case, this dream is not necessarily a premonition but rather a warning your inner mind is sending you about a very realistic possibility.

We tend to dream about what is on our mind the most, and when you are at his place, it is very clear that getting caught is top of mind. Being naked in these dreams symbolizes the vulnerability you feel while there that “all will be revealed.”

And being woken up in the dream isn’t just about your fear of actually being woken up but also about your need to “wake up” and realize the danger of the situation. If getting caught is going to jeopardize your relationship, then you might want to make it a habit of heading back home at night in order to preserve the relationship and get that much needed sleep!

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!

photo via Flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a straight female reader asks Lauri:

I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 4 years: we live together, have been through some personal crises, and are still deeply in love with each other. We plan to stay together for the rest of our lives.

That said, the other night I dreamt I was pregnant by him.  I was in the 5th month and it showed. I thought that this might explain why I’ve gained some weight and why people always ask whether I’m pregnant (which does happen in real life). In the dream, I was overjoyed, but wanted to take a pregnancy test before telling my boyfriend, just to be sure.

So I bought one, went to the bathroom and…I just couldn’t make myself pee! Most of the dream was about how I knew I would have to pee in order to confirm the good news, but I just couldn’t. I kept thinking that I wanted to be sure about the pregnancy in order not to disappoint him with a false alarm. Then I woke up.

What does it mean?

Lauri: Unless you are trying to get pregnant, pregnancy in a dream usually means there is something new growing and developing somewhere in your life. You have a specific amount of time, 5 months. You should be able to connect that to something in your waking life that has been going on for about that same amount of time. Did you two move in together 5 months ago? Did you start talking about marriage 5 months ago? You may need to put on your thinking cap and see if you can figure this out.

In the dream you want to prove the good news to your boyfriend, which means there must be something you are wanting to prove in real life. Are you needing to convince him you are in this for the long haul? Is there perhaps something you need to prove to yourself? Whatever it is, it seems that you are afraid you are not going to be able to get the job done. As I re-read your dream, I can’t help but think that this may be more about your need to convince yourself of something.

Anyhoo, the inability to pee in the dream may be more about your inability to express yourself in some way in waking life. Typically, the need to pee in a dream is really about the need to relieve yourself of waking frustrations. So I am wondering if there may be a certain level of frustration within your relationship that you — or both of you — need to relieve yourself of in order to feel certain that this relationship is here to stay.

Of course, the inability to pee could also just be your body’s need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and your brain is just making you dream that you can’t pee on the stick as a way to keep you from wetting the bed!

Response from the dreamer: Thank you a lot, first of all. And I do think I have an idea what the
situation might be:

I’ve been working at my master thesis (to finally finish my studies that have been going on way too long now) for about 5 to 7 months, depending on how you count. My boyfriend keeps helping me in many ways (he is about to finalize his PhD and knows about how to go about such a project), but I’m quite stuck, only proceeding in tiny steps. I’m even seeing a counsellor at the university about these problems, who is quite confident I’ll make it.

But still, it’s painfully slow and it hurts almost physically, always doubting my abilities, always trying to discipline myself, never being satisfied with myself. The stress that both my boyfriend and I have due to finalizing our studies and due to especially my reactions to this stress (crying a lot, being quite irritable) of course affects our relationship in some ways, although there is no doubt that we’ll come out of it in June (when we have our deadlines).

Still, I am so deeply afraid of failing, and so afraid of the process of writing itself. Also, deep down, I’m afraid to scare him away or hurt him somehow, although he assures me that there is no such danger. That whole situation is weighing me down.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! Don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site. And check out Lauri’s new book Dream On It, available everywhere!