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Why Everyone Needs a Rhymes-with-Bucket List

April 27, 2015

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photo via Wikimedia Commons

Our favorite part of President Obama’s monologue at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner monologue on Saturday night was this: “I am determined to make the most of every moment I have left. After the midterm elections, my advisors asked me ‘Mr. President, do you have a bucket list?’ And I said, “Well, I have something that rhymes with bucket list.’ Take executive action on immigration. Bucket. New climate regulations. Bucket. It’s the right thing to do.”

Which got us thinking: Everyone needs a rhymes-with-bucket list! Because bucket lists themselves can be kind of intimidating. All those things you have to do. Man, it’s exhausting. And as the years pass and you fail to check off a single item? That bucket list can start to make you feel like crap when you get out of bed in the morning. It can taunt you a little.

Not so the rhymes-with-bucket list, however! Rhymes-with-bucket is meant to make your life easier. Here are ten items to kick off your very own rhymes-with-bucket list. Add to it whenever the “bucket” mood strikes you…

1. Don’t have Gisele’s body? Bucket! Love the skin you’re in, even the bits that have stretch marks and funny-shaped birthmarks. Because confidence is sexier than self-loathing any day of the week. (Related:  Can’t pull off skinny jeans? Bucket! Remember when boot-cut jeans were trendy and women everywhere gave thanks because pretty much anyone can look good in boot cut? And then the fashion gods decreed that skinny was in — because, duh, fashion people are skinny. How mean girl is that? We think you should wear them — and your muffin top — with pride… or, if you prefer, go full nineties in your boot cuts. Because who cares what cut your jeans are? Like 0.000001% of the population, that’s who.)

2. Feel like a woman inside? Bucket! Think like a genderbread person, just like Bruce Jenner did. Because the genitals you were born with do not have to define you.

3. Don’t feel like “doing brunch”? Bucket! Because this awesome SNL parody of the Sara Bareilles song “Brave” says so.

4. Can’t handle casual sex? Bucket! Just because all the cool kids are doing it, doesn’t mean you have to jump on the booty calling bandwagon. If you prefer sex in the content of a long-term, loving, committed relationship, then speak up… and keep your legs closed and/or your pants zipped until you get a response you like. Because we say so!

5. Want to discuss a major plot-spoiling aspect of your favorite TV show on Twitter right now? Bucket! Because discussing things right as they happen is kind of the whole point of Twitter, isn’t it? Also because that same SNL parody says so. In fact, it’s kind of the national anthem of the rhymes-with-bucket list, in our opinion.

6. Can’t keep up with world events in the news? Bucket! Just subscribe to the Daily Skimm. Because we do, and now we don’t have to pretend to know what everyone else is talking about.

7. Can’t stand your spouse? Bucket! Get a divorce. Because we’re like 99.9999999% certain you won’t go to hell for it.

8. Feel like getting a little kinky tonight? Bucket! Just say something. Because communication is the cornerstone of good sex. And if you never ask, you’ll never know whether your partner’s up for it.

9. Not in the mood? Bucket! Don’t have sex. Just because your sister does it four times a week and Cosmopolitan magazine says you should do it five times a week and your parents are still doing it and TV commercials make it seem like even eating salad dressing gives you an orgasm — doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you if you don’t feel like having sex all the time. Because whether you feel like getting tied up and spanked, or you’re more in the mood for some platonic cuddling tonight — you make your own normal.

10. Want to get married/pay for dinner/ask someone out/get laid/get a raise/stay home with the kids? Bucket! Just ask, already, no matter whether it’s supposed to be the man’s or woman’s job to do so. Because it’s 2015, people. Duh.

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Your Call: How Much of a Factor Is Height in Male Attractiveness?

April 27, 2015

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photo by Ranjit Laxman Photography

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. 

Submit Your Own Question to EMandLO.comTry Our New
*PRIVATE* Advice Service!

 

Dear Em & Lo,

I read a study that said 71% of women will not look at a guy if he is under 6 foot tall. I read another study that said men who are 5’9 and under have more sex than men who are 6 foot and up. Any idea on who’s lying here? If women are attracted to men who are only 6 foot plus, then why is the average U.K height for a man 5’9? Surely, shorter and/or weaker men, should have died out by now…?

- ISO Perspective

What should ISOP do? Leave advice for him in the comments section below.

 

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Why You Should Dump Someone Who’s Perfect for You

April 24, 2015

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Dear Em & Lo,

I am 23 years old and A, my boyfriend of four years, and I are currently four months into a long-distance relationship until I graduate from my university this summer and move across the country to be with him. I recently connected with J, a guy that I was seeing five years ago. Back then, J and I never went any further than making out and never dated, since he graduated from our university soon after we met. We reconnected and I am really into him. I spend more time talking to J than A and we have a lot of things in common. One night and several drinks later, J and I ended up making out.

I have never cheated on my boyfriend before, but instead of feeling guilty about cheating on him, weeks later I can’t seem to get J off of my mind. I’ve been in two long-term relationships since I was 15 (the first boyfriend was for 3 years) and I haven’t been single for more than a few months since the time I’ve been allowed to date. A wants to propose and I’m not ready for it, but I don’t know how to tell him this without hurting him.

Overall, he is everything I want in a man, but he doesn’t know how to satisfy me sexually anymore and has gotten really lazy in the bedroom despite the fact that I tell him about this a lot. I also feel really inexperienced because I’ve only been with two guys my entire life.

How do I know my current fling with J isn’t just lust? Do I just have expiration dates on guys of about three to four years? How do you know if you should end a long relationship to move on?

– Torn

Dear Torn,

Let’s just review:

  • You’re 23.
  • You’re in college.
  • You’re in a long-distance relationship while you’re 23 and in college.
  • You feel like being with only two people makes you “inexperienced.”
  • You’ve never really been single.
  • Your boyfriend, who we’re assuming is also in his early 20s, has gotten lazy about sex?!?
  • You cheated and can’t stop thinking about the other guy.

This is an easy one: it’s time to break up (or at least take a break). You’ve got a lot of living to do and you certainly aren’t ready to get married. We’re not suggesting that there’s something inherently wrong with getting married young or with only being sexually intimate with two people — for some people, that works. But if the tone of your email is any indication, it’s not going to work for you…

Don’t feel pressured to stay in this relationship because you feel guilty about cheating, or because you feel like you’ve already invested so much time in this relationship, or because A is a great guy. He’s just not great for you — at least not right now.

The only fair thing to do — for both you and A — is to tell him you need to take a break from the relationship (which means the possibility of seeing other people, for both of you). He may break up with you right then and there. You guys may break up permanently in a few months. You might get back together ten months or ten years from now, when you’ve both dated other people and realized that you were in fact perfect for each other. Or maybe you’ll meet someone who convinces you that breaking up with A was the best thing you could have ever done. Maybe just being alone for a while will convince you of this. Just give yourself a chance to try something new.

Tough love,
Em & Lo

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photo via flickr



The Real Reasons Why Men Send Pics of their Penises

April 23, 2015

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by Amanda Chatel for YourTango  |  Justin Bieber selfie via Instagram

Finally, ladies: the answer you’ve long been waiting for.

It was just a matter of time before we took  the technology we have at our fingertips and made it all about sex. I mean, we’re horny, sexual beings, so why wouldn’t we? But while sending our partners nude photos seems totally acceptable, the whole “dick pic” thing just doesn’t have the same level of respectability. Maybe it’s because dudes on OKCupid think it’s the ideal way to snag a lady friend? I’m not really sure.

We tracked down nine men who were willing to not only admit that they’ve sent a dick pic (or two or three or more), but also tell us why, oh why, they do such things. I’ve yet to meet a woman who’s ever said, “And he sent me a dick pic and it was awesome!” But while some of us may not be able to appreciate their, um, manhood, we can at least now start to figure out why the hell they do it.

1. It’s about pride…

“When I used to do it, it was often a mixture of pride and … pride. I only ever rarely did it unsolicited but I’d never gotten a ‘Why did you do that?!’ And I occasionally got a couple of “do that again, please,” responses.

Now, as an older, rational man, I frown upon unsolicited dick pics because it’s just wrong, even if the only reason most men do it is because they hope you’ll show your tits in return. All that said, if a woman asks, it’s a request that should be fulfilled immediately because more often than not, it’s a test.”

2. It’s nice to get a compliment…

“Either I was asked for it or I knew that the person would respond positively. It feels good to have someone compliment your junk or tell you that they want it.”

3. I was hoping to get a photo of them in return…

“I’ve always thought of it as tit for tat. If I send it, even if they don’t ask for it, I assumed it would get me a naked picture of them. But I would like to point out that I haven’t tried that since I was 25 or so … so it’s been about five years.”

4. So she knows she gave me an erection…

“It has always been in the middle of some dirty texting and it made sense to share how hard she made me.”

5. I thought it would be an honor for her…

“Let’s pretend I might have considered it in my teens. Those years predate mobile phone cameras (or even digital ones) so honestly, teenage me would have probably considered it an honor for the woman to receive a large oil painting of my trouser business.”

6. It’s usually after I’ve been drinking…

“I can’t answer this because I don’t know why I’ve done it. It’s usually after I’ve been drinking and for some reason it just makes sense. The next morning I always realize it was a stupid and childish move but it doesn’t stop me from doing it again when I’ve had too much to drink.”

7. I was asked for it…

“Because I’ve been asked. Plain and simple. If someone I’m into wants a picture of my dick, then why wouldn’t I oblige?”

8. I’m just a guy…

“I’ve yet to meet a woman who has said that dicks are nice to look at it. So maybe subconsciously I’m trying to change that thought with mine? It’s either that or I’m just a guy.”

9. I assume it might be erotic…

“Since it’s erotic for me to get a picture of any part of a woman’s body, I assumed it might be erotic for her, too. But my wife put an end to that after I tried that once when we were still dating. She still makes fun of me for it.”

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Dream Interpretation: I Had Sex with Tim Curry As Frank-N-Furter

April 23, 2015

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photo via flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it (18 and older only, please). This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I recently had a dream that I was having sex with a celebrity, the famous Tim Curry. But when I was engaging in sexual activity with him, it was year 1975 and he was dress in his Transvestite costume from the movie The Rocky Horror Picture Show and the sex was hot, I’m just being honest. I could feel him pick me up off the ground and hug me, his arms were strong and when his chest touch my chest, it was like a connection. We all know that Tim Curry is quite yummy anyway, especially with his acting skills. But to have a dream of having sex with him was unlike any other dream I’ve had in a long time. This dream probably doesn’t mean anything, but I’ve always wanted to better understand why I have the dreams I have when I’m asleep? To be more frank about the dream, the fact that it took place in year 1975 is crazy because I wasn’t born until 1988.

Lauri: As any Rocky Horror fan knows, RHPS hit movie theaters in 1975 and this, being 2015, is the 40th anniversary of that magnificent film! That is probably why your dream took place in 1975.

The thing about The Rocky Horror Picture Show is that it’s not just a movie, it’s an identity. When you are a fan, you are a diehard fan; it courses through your blood stream and becomes part of your DNA. That may explain the “connection” you felt in the dream when your chests touched. The chest is where the heart is after all and Rocky Horror, and the delicious Tim Curry, will be carried in your heart forever. Trust me, I’m well into my 40s and Rocky Horror has been a part of me since I was 15. I even had a pet tarantula named Meat Loaf!

Anyway, back to you. Just as you took Tim into your body in the dream, so have you taken Rocky Horror into your heart and soul in real life. In a nut shell, your dream is telling you to give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh – erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can’t you just see it? Don’t dream it, be it. (Sorry…had to.)

 

Visit Lauri’s site, WhatYourDreamMeans.com, for even more dream interpretations! If you want to be able to figure out your own dreams each morning, check out her latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, which will give you the tools you need to become a dream expert. You can see all of Lauri’s books here. And hey, if you want your very own pin-up painting of you or your luvva (either vintage or modern), Lauri can do that, too! 

 

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A Male Perspective on Circumcision

April 21, 2015

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Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: What do you think about circumcision?

Gay Engaged Guy (Joel Derfner, author of Swish): I know one person who was circumcised as an adult, so he’s the only guy I can think of who knows what it’s like both ways — sort of the Tiresias of circumcision — but he’s also a famous actor and I have a huge, huge crush on him, so if I tried to ask him about it I would probably die of embarrassment.  From a purely objective standpoint I suppose I’d say it’s a barbaric practice, but as a Jew I can’t imagine being uncircumcised. A gay Jewish friend of mine was the sperm donor for a Jewish lesbian couple, and when the issue of circumcision came up (in the event that they had a boy) it almost ruined the whole thing — my friend wanted his son to look like him, which I think is perfectly understandable, and the couple wanted not to mutilate their child, which I also think is perfectly understandable.  They had a girl, so the point was moot, but I myself intend to avoid the whole issue by remaining blissfully childless forever.

Straight Single Guy (L.A. Chris): My friend recently asked whether he should circumcise his boy, and we found we were both passionately for it. But his wife was strongly against it (and she’s Jewish, go figure). We all did some research and found out that it’s generally healthier to be circumcised, so they decided to do it. But it’s a strange internal debate, because if you consider yourself anything close to a naturalist, then it’s almost hard to convince yourself of such a permanent and personal alteration of our time-honored design. Read the rest of this entry »



Knowing When to Talk to Your Partner… Or Your Therapist

April 20, 2015

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The following letter from a reader is really long. Like, really long. (And this is the abridged version!) But we’re publishing it here because we think it raises a really interesting, important question about relationships: How can you tell when you’re talking too much? And how can you tell when you need a therapist as well as just a partner to talk to?

For people who were blessed with a functional, happy childhood and/or stable mental health, the question probably doesn’t come up too often. But for people who are in therapy, or think they might need therapy, or who have come a long way in their life thanks to therapy, it’s an important question.

It’s easy to use a partner as a therapist. They’re free, for one thing! And they love you (one would hope), they have your back, and, unlike your therapist (again, one would hope), they can spoon you, too. But is there a line you shouldn’t cross when it comes to talking through problems? And how do you know where that line is? Is it a matter of content? Or is it simply a matter of how much time your partner spends listening vs talking?

Share your thoughts on this topic in the comments section below. Also, we highly recommend reading this letter we received, which does a great job of illuminating the way that this issue can rear its ugly head in relationships.

Dear Em & Lo,

A year ago, my first long term relationship of five years ended very badly. In retrospect, the relationship had a number of red flags early on. Both my partner and I had emotional issues due to abusive parenting. However, I now believe that my openness to explore these issues and receive therapy whilst in the relationship lead me to become the scapegoat for his problems, on top of trying to deal with my own. 

Towards the end it got very bad. I was trying hard to receive more help with my emotions, with a growing sense that “everything was my fault,” an idea that was supported by my ex-partner, who would diagnose me with mental health conditions that the doctor did not agree with. My ex once showed me a letter he’d written to his dad in which he declared himself to be a “full-time carer to a partner with clinical depression.” This was a couple of years after I had got back to living life following acute OCD and depression (due to two abortions I’d had, encouraged by my ex). My doctor had just clarified that he did not feel I was suffering with clinical depression. My ex-partner was definitely not a full-time carer for me.

Since our breakup I have found such reserves of strength in myself that I didn’t know existed. I have developed some amazing friendships, the kind that were belittled by my ex, and I have just completed my second course of CBT. The therapy was aimed at food-related psychological problems, however, we ended up talking a lot about boundaries, assertiveness and my unwritten rules developed as a child in an abusive environment. I can see that many of these issues had become huge problems in my last relationship, as I had little understanding of boundaries, and experienced a great deal of anxiety and uncertainty throughout the relationship. I have been working to instil the belief that my feelings are important too, as survivors of abuse can typically learn to overlook their own feelings in order to navigate the feelings of their abusers, in order to check for signs of danger, or other people’s mood changes. This has been all been helpful, and I feel stronger, more positive and able to care for myself in a way that is new and exciting for me. The therapy ended last week, and my therapist has discharged me with a recommendation to my doctor that I would be suitable for further therapy, as we couldn’t go too deep in our sessions. She has praised me for working hard and making progress by using the sessions well, which is heart warming, as she has correctly identified how much of an important journey it is for me to work towards self-love and self-support.

Recently I decided to open myself up to dating again, and over the past two months I have been building a new romantic relationship. Early on we were very open about our emotions and history, which feels really good to me, and he has observed my need to be open and talk about how I feel in great detail. We do have a lovely time but he has explained that he feels like he is in therapy with me, and that he can’t feel as many moments of effortless joy and relaxation that he would like in a relationship. It is early on in this relationship and I feel I have been displaying an excess of hyper-vigilance because the foundations are not set. I do have anxiety about not looking after myself, ending up in an abusive dynamic and not reading signals properly, which I am beginning to regard as hyper-vigilance. This can come through in behaviours such as being hot-headed and reactionary, even though I am aiming to be calm and assertive. Talking really helps, as when I can understand little things that my partner is experiencing that affect his mood, I can relax to know that it is not my fault. 

It is becoming clear to me that I would like to be with a partner who is comfortable with the level of work that I have done and will continue to actively do with myself. In my mind, this is beginning to translate as someone who has a good understanding, or experience of, self-awareness, or therapy, and is someone that is working towards their most positive self, with whatever issues they might harbour. I would like to be with someone who shares and understands my need to communicate, yet I would also like to pursue strategies for myself in how to deal with my hyper-vigilance, and to manage healthy boundary awareness, in order to minimise over-communication, emotional exhaustion and burn-out, which I feel I may be guilty of.

For the time being, I am not afraid of being alone in order to do more work on myself, however, I am also aware, since this recent relationship, that some of the work I would like to do on myself might only come up in a close intimate relationship. Right now I plan to keep loving myself, being kind, journaling thoughts and feelings, taking care of my body and continuing to apply the boundary and assertion ideas recently taught to me.

Is my dream of finding a partner who can accept me as I am unrealistic? How do I navigate the issues that I experience, and my history, with a partner? Should I seek more therapy now, or wait until I “need” it? Which kind of therapy might be best for the issues I have raised?

– Saffy

What do you think: How can you tell when you’re talking too much in a relationship? And how can you tell when you need a therapist as well as just a partner to talk to? Have you been on either side of this situation yourself? Share your thoughts in the comments section below. 

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Comment of the Week: Who Causes Wet Dreams? Could It Be….Satan?!

April 15, 2015

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In response to a letter from a woman who orgasms in her sleep, we got a very interesting and creative analysis of what is actually going on from Amandah. It’s not sexual tension or the subconscious playing around with one of our strongest primal urges. Nope! Amandah schools us in the facts. (Ed. note: grammatical and spelling mistakes have been corrected for readability, natch):

Mhhh, I’ve read your comments guys and I know all about wet dreams or multiple orgasms. The truth is you all have what [we] call a “spiritual husband” — it’s a very wicked sexual “demon” or…Satan. It is an attack and you need to be delivered from that thing because it can destroy your life… I know what I’m talking about. Most of you will not agree with me, but I know it’s the truth. If you’re under that demon attack, most of the time you hate your husband for no reason and sometimes you will loose affection towards your husband; you will only enjoy that sex of the night. And the truth is, it is so good, but it is hell. I was once a victim of a night sex slave, then I accepted Jesus as my lord and savior and I was delivered from all that sinful nature and I have a new life in Christ Jesus. Though that thing still comes to me in the night, the difference is now I have an ability of God to rebuke and cast that demon out of my life in Jesus’ name. I pray that God may deliver your families and open your spiritual eyes. When you sleep you’re supposed to sleep [without] having sex in your sleep — it is not normal. No doctor or anyone can help you without Jesus.

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Why Marriage Vows Should Include Sex

April 15, 2015

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photo via flickr

Traditional marriage vows cover better… and worse; sickness… and health; riches…. and poverty; forsaking all others… but not its opposite. What is the opposite of forsaking all others, anyway? Well, if forsaking all others is about the absence of sex (with other people), then its opposite, in our opinion, is the presence of sex (with your spouse).

We got to thinking about the presence of sex in marriage after reading these quotes on YourTango, from couples who have been married for twenty-five-plus years, on how often they currently have sex. The answer: Some of them, multiple times a week, others, not in many, many years.

Of course, sex is as much a symptom as it is a cause. Bad marriages usually lead to bad or no sex. Only if you’re lucky will you still be having makeup sex after you fight… twenty-five years into your marriage. And decades of resentment isn’t exactly conducive to post-date-night sex. Also, simply having sex a few times a week is no guarantee that you’ll still be happy after twenty-five years of marriage. (Especially if only one of you really wants it.) And who’s to say that a virtually sexless marriage doesn’t work for some happy couples?

Whatever the case, it’s a lot harder to resent each other when you’re having sex that’s satisfying to both partners as often or as little as you’d both like. There’s a world of difference between sex a few times every week or month after twenty-five years… and no sex at all. There’s a world of difference between sex that satisfies one partner but rarely the other. Wouldn’t you like to know what your spouse hopes for? Wouldn’t you like to know what your partner would think if those hopes were dashed? And wouldn’t you like your partner to know your own hopes?

There are no guarantees, of course. Penises malfunction, menopause strikes, bodies change, libidos wane, childbirth fucks everything up, etc. So we’re not suggesting that marriage vows contain any sort of binding commitment to, say, sex every week for the rest of your married life. Besides, we think Aunt Mabel would probably have a heart attack right then and there if she heard this: “In sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for reciprocal oral sex and extended sensual massage, for sixty-nines and twenty minutes of foreplay…”

What you should vow, instead, is to do everything in your power to make sure your partner is happy in the bedroom, whatever “in the bedroom” means to them. Note: This kind of vow only works if both of you vow the same thing. That means compromising. But you both have to compromise. Think of it this way: If one of you wants sex every night and the other one wants it, well, never, then having sex every night obviously isn’t a compromise. But in the same vein, if one of you wants sex every night and the other one wants it, well, never, then never having sex isn’t a compromise either, is it?

Unlike traditional marriage vows, a sex vow isn’t one-size-fits-all. Maybe your own personal compromise involves porn… or maybe it involves an open marriage. Maybe you’re willing to discuss a don’t-ask-don’t-tell arrangement, or happy ending massages in Vegas. Are you open to kink? Roleplaying? Talking through fantasies together? Maybe just the possibility of getting a new sex toy to try together every year on your anniversary. Whatever it is, we think it’s probably a good idea to discuss what you’re each open to before you get into a rut. And once you’ve had the conversation, then all you need to promise is to try to be a good custodian of your partner’s desires…whatever that turns out to mean…within reason, of course (e.g. if you got married with the expectation of a straight monogamous relationship, but five years down the line your partner wants to experiment with bisexual orgies, then you are not automatically obligated to sign them up for the nearest swingers convention).

But if you’re dedicated to being open-minded and communicative in your future marriage, then you might consider coming up with a code word for this sex commitment, inserting it into your vows somewhere, and actually saying it out loud as part of your wedding ceremony. That way Aunt Mabel still makes it to the reception.

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How to Go Down on a Man, According to Men

April 14, 2015

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photo via flickr

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “What’s the difference between an average blowjob and an excellent blowjob?”

Straight Single Guy (Chris): I have had a handful of extraordinary blowjobs in my lifetime. Generally I say something to any talented giver, pointing out how noteworthy her skills are. One lovely woman asked me to explain why I thought it was so good. I thought about it for a minute and I think my answer to her is the same answer to this question:

  • Enthusiasm. You’ve got to enjoy what you do.
  • Vigor. You’ve got to do it like you want to finish the job.
  • Lubrication. You can’t be afraid of a little saliva.

Gay Married Guy (Jon Ross): The thing that really separates the ho-hum BJ from the eyes-rolling-into-the-back-of-my-head one is undoubtedly passion and enthusiasm. Of course, there are many technical aspects that come into play, but even the most experienced, tongue-twisting mouth would be boring if there was no desire behind it. So, if you want to give a guy an excellent blowjob, get into it. There is nothing sexier for me than when the person blowing me is performing enthusiastically and getting turned on while doing so. I understand blowjobs are not everyone’s  cup of tea. So it’s time to play-act a little. Find out what your man likes and go for it full tilt booty. Hopefully you’ll get something equally excellent in return. Oh, and just in case somehow someone missed the memo,  the cardinal rule of blowjobs is NO TEETH.

Straight Married Guy (James Glazebrook): No teeth, and a lot of practice. Problem is, women don’t know how it feels to have your dick sucked, and how it should or shouldn’t be done — and we guys aren’t about to tell them how.  We’re far too grateful to be on the receiving end to interrupt with helpful hints.  We just lay back, relax, and hope it doesn’t grate too much.

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Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. This week’s Straight Married Guy is James Glazebrook of Manflet, our Straight Single Guy is Chris DiClerico, and our Gay Married Guy is Jon Ross. To ask the guys your own question, click here.