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Wise Guys: Is the Way to a Man’s Heart Really Through His Stomach?

October 9, 2012

2 Comments

photo by Julie via WikiCommons

Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Is the way to a man’s heart through his stomach? And if not, what’s the way?”

Married Bisexual Guy (Bryan Sebeck): In a word, yes.  Several peer-reviewed scientific studies have shown that men are most attracted to scents that are both simple and food-related.  Dr. Alan Hirsch, MD from The Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation has done over 25 years of study on the subject and found that you’re far better off to smell like a box of Hot Tamales or a Tim Horton’s doughnut than you are flowers or other perfumes.Ask the Wise Guys
Your Own Question!

Now, I’m not advocating that you go out and rub down with some chocolate chip cookies.  Unless, that is, you’re into bringing food into bed.  In which case, more power to you.  What I am saying is that most men are in far better moods, feel better about themselves, and are generally more pleasant to be around when they’re fed well.  If you really want to impress a guy, learn how to cook one dish perfectly.  Invite him over for dinner, get him to help you out by chopping vegetables or something similar, and I can promise that you can take him back to your bedroom for a very special dessert.

Single Bisexual Guy (Jack): I think it’s not so much about food as about the effort behind it. While I generally enjoy when partners have cooked for me, I have usually not enjoyed *what* they cooked for me. More often than not, I take over cooking duties because I am a good cook, and again, the effort is appreciated. Everyone likes to have their partner make a special effort for them, and if you’re good at food, it certainly isn’t a bad thing. But if you’re not good at food, it can be folding laundry, putting away dishes, or keeping in mind what his interests are and supporting them. I think the way to anyone’s heart – man or woman – is showing that you are part of the team, and you are really thinking about what things matter to the other person, large or small.

Single Straight Guy (Saad): Through the stomach is definitely one way to a man’s heart. And if you venture that way, you’re pretty sure to find there’s a solid concrete highway already in place – laid there by his mother, father, or grandmother, whoever cooked the meals he cherished in his childhood. You could still try to win a guy over with your cooking, just don’t make the same dishes that he enjoys when he goes home to his family. You can’t win that competition. Having said that, the kitchen is definitely a good place for couples to bond. If you can cook together — he chops, you stir — it doesn’t matter much how the food tastes afterward as long as it’s edible. Keep things low-key and enjoy the time together.

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Married Bisexual Guy is Bryan Sebeck, a newlywed engineer and artist working in Detroit, MI who blogs at A Yooper Steampunk; our Single Bisexual Guy is Jack, a software consultant based in Phoenix, Arizona who blogs at Facets of Our Lives;; and our Single Straight Guy is  Saad Hasan, who works on nanotechnology with a team in Pennsylvania. To ask the guys your own question, click here.



Wise Guys: Are Men Romantic Or Do They Just Fake It?

October 2, 2012

4 Comments

photo via Flickr

Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Are most men romantics, or is romance something guys simply do to keep their partner happy?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.

Single Straight Guy (Scott Phrenetik): I think the majority of men are not inherently romantic. But, is it really that bad if they do it to keep their partner happy? If it’s sincere, then it shouldn’t matter if it’s a core characteristic or not. Now, those of us who are romantic are going to be way better at it than those who aren’t, because it’s part of our personality, but that only means it’s better for the woman we’re romancing. Don’t discount a guy just because he’s not a romantic at heart. He’s still doing it for you.

Married Straight Guy (Ben D.): I don’t think that most guys are romantics. It’s not that we don’t love our wife/girlfriend, it’s just something we don’t think about. I’ve always thought that things like flowers and jewelry are fluff. I think the best way to be romantic is to be a good partner, do the dishes, laundry, pick up after yourself, change the baby, take the kids out when she’s tired so can take a nap. Maybe one of the most romantic things you can do is take the kid(s) for the afternoon and get her a massage.

Single Gay Guy (Abraham Zeus Zapata): Of course most men are romantic! What, using spit as lube isn’t romantic? Someone hasn’t seen Brokeback Mountain. Romance is, in its essence, excitement and mystery shown to someone you love. While most guys are apprehensive to be overtly romantic (my reason: usually out of fear of doing something wrong), if you look for the little moments of excitement and affection, you’ll see that guys are more romantic than you’d assume.

 

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Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Single Gay Guy is Abraham Zeus Zapata, an actor, writer and artist living in the Houston area; our Single Straight Guy is Scott Phrenetik, who moonlights as a DJ in Dallas; and our Married Straight Guy is Ben D., a former professional fighter who would now much rather spend time with his wife and baby son than get punched in the face by a sweaty man. To ask the guys your own question, click here.



Wise Guys: How Do Most Men Define “Sex”?

September 25, 2012

3 Comments

photo by Ad Meskens

Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: How do you define what constitutes sex? Ask the Wise Guys
Your Own Question!
Is it penetration (with anything or just a penis)? Oral attention? Mutual orgasms? Mutual naked pleasure? etc.


Gay Single Guy (Angelo Nikolopoulos of The White Swallow):  After being single for ____ months, lighting a scented candle before touching myself, as far as I’m concerned, qualifies as sex. So, clearly, you’re asking the wrong gay. But in more prosperous times, anything that exposed me to the illogical possibility of contracting an STI qualified as sex. Call me a thrill-seeker if you want, but if there’s no potential for a rash or sore, then I’m not interested.

chris_diclericoStraight Single Guy (Chris): I’m not sure my opinion on this represents the majority of people I know, but I actually think sex is a penis inside a vagina. It seems to me that other sex acts are far less serious and consequential, so can be taking more casually. Since sex-sex can involve more serious diseases, pregnancy potential, etc, its feels, for me, to require more trust, intimacy and meaning. I think guys generally classify sex as intercourse, maybe including anal. It seems that we say, “I just got a blowjob in the bathroom” vs. “We just fucked in the bathroom” — they actually do mean different things. I’m pretty sure I’m in the minority on this.

Straight Committed Guy (Johnny): First of all, it has to say “sex” in the proper name for it. So, “oral sex,” “vaginal sex,” “anal sex,” etc. Nobody says “manual sex” – hand jobs don’t qualify. Second, anything “sex” must involve the potential internal exchange of sexual fluid. Oral counts – sexual fluid from one partner can get in the mouth of the other. Vaginal sex counts – fluid both ways. Buttsex – well, you get it. Again, manual stimulation doesn’t qualify. A little bit of fluid on your hand doesn’t count. Phone “sex” is a misnomer – that’s immaculate dirty talk.

Some people count almost anything potentially arousing as sex, including kissing. Really? In that case I lost my virginity in 7th grade during the three minutes between social studies and math. That would also mean I’ve had sex in front of many of my friends and family. It would mean the bride and groom screw right in front of everyone after saying “I do.”  Remember that creepy Al and Tipper Gore kiss? So much worse now that you know that was sex! If I merely kissed a date good-night, but claimed to have gotten laid, wouldn’t that be a lie?

See what I mean? Not everything is sex. Gotta draw the line somewhere.

[Em & Lo Note: We use the term "manual sex" all the time! And we think it counts.]

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Gay Guy is Angelo Nikolopoulos, host of an NYC queer reading series The White Swallow; Straight Single Guy is blogger Chris DiClerico; and our Straight Committed Guy is regular EMandLO.com commenter, Johnny. To ask the guys your own question, click here.



Wise Guys: Could Men Be Trusted to Take a Birth Control Pill?

September 18, 2012

8 Comments

photo via flickr

Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Would most guys take the birth control pill if it was available to them? When it does become available, should women trust guys to take it correctly, so it’s effective?” Ask the Wise Guys
Your Own Question!
(Two of the guys, completely independently, came up with the idea the pills should taste like beer!)

Straight Married Guy (David Jacobs): Don’t know about most guys, but I’d certainly take birth control pills. And I suspect I’m not alone. In fact, I can’t recall ever having had a conversation with another guy about the joy of rubbers! Not a big fan myself — and I can’t imagine any other aficionado of the act is either. As to whether we could be trusted to take them regularly — who knows? Probably more of a crapshoot. But most guys don’t want kids and all the entanglement that goes along with them (until of course they do). And most guys can remember to shower, shave, pay their rent and cable bills with regularity, so why not this too? Perhaps they could make them bacon or beer flavored, or add THC. Or here’s a brilliant commercial possibility: time-release Viagra in each dose! Though that might just result in a constant half-staff boner…

Gay Married Guy (Jon Ross): Good question! I have no idea! The second part is easy though — woman should definitely NOT trust guys to take it correctly, and unfortunately they are the ones stuck with an unwanted pregnancy should it occur. Men can be forgetful, lazy, and lie — they will often say anything to get sex, and many wouldn’t hesitate to tell their partners they were on the pill if they thought it would get them lucky. However, I do think many men would be interested in taking a birth control pill, depending on cost and any side effects, of course. Avoiding baby mama drama is often high on a thinking man’s priority list.

Straight Single Guy (Adam): I’m going to make a few assumptions in answering this hypothetical. Assumption 1: The male birth control pill would be equally effective as the female birth control pill. Assumption 2: The potential health risks/benefits of the male birth control pill would be equal to the potential health risks/benefits of the female birth control pill. Assumption 3: Condoms have been uninvented.

I don’t mean to suggest that, from a moral standpoint, these are the things it should take for “most guys” to take birth control pills. It’s just that in order for that to happen in the current world we live in — a world where 80% of women in the United States have already taken birth control pills at least one time in their lives (I looked that one up!), a world where men are viewed, perhaps unfairly, as more promiscuous and irresponsible when it comes to sex and birth control, and a world where condoms exist to not only aid in birth control but to also decrease the likelihood of contracting most STDs and STIs — it would take an enormous cultural shift for the majority of men to start taking birth control pills.

That said, I might take them if they tasted like beer, which should tell you all you need to know to answer your second question.

RELATED ARTICLES ON EMandLO.com:

Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. This week’s Straight Married Guy is David Jacobs, a NYC-based photographer; our Gay Married Guy is Jon Ross, who works for a network news program and lives in Brooklyn with his husband and two dogs; and our Straight Single Guy is Adam, a lawyer and native Floridian in his early thirties. To ask the guys your own question, click here.



Wise Guys: Is There Such a Thing As Too Much Porn?

September 11, 2012

3 Comments

Advice from Ask the Wise Guys
Your Own Question!
three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends
. This week they answer the following: “Is there such a thing as too much porn? If so, how much is too much?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.

Straight Single Guy (Tom Miller): Yes. If beating off makes getting an erection to have sex with an actual person difficult or unseemly, it may be time to block RedTube. I’m not sure how many guys really love porn, we just like anything that facilitates ejaculating and doesn’t require much effort. If stepping on tacks would give us a boner, foot-related Tetanus would be rampant in this country.

joel_derfner_100Gay Married Guy (Joel Derfner, author of Swish): My therapist thinks there is, but I think he got his degree while Queen Victoria was still on the British throne, so I don’t listen to him. I suppose that if a guy ends up preferring porn to you, then you’re in trouble — but in such a case, the porn isn’t really the problem.

anonymous_suitStraight Married Guy (Figleaf): Not sure I understand the question but I kind of like it. Too much porn in relation to what? Too much bad porn? Sure. Too much to “enjoy” it all in a lifetime? That too. Too much for it all to be produced consensually and in work-safe and health-safe conditions? That too. Too much to be able to watch or read as much as you want and still have time for a real-life partner? Or, for that matter, for a real life, period? Sometimes, maybe, but usually not.

Bottom line for me is that yes, there’s “too much” porn just like there’s “too much” sports on TV, too many knitting patterns, too many yard sales, too many parties, and too many beaches and playgrounds to use your metal detector to find old nickels and bottle caps. Most people manage how much they consume, and make sure what they do consume, they consume in a responsible fashion that doesn’t interfere with their lives or the lives of their loved ones. Other people have problems. But I think it’s usually more about having a problem, period, not what you have a problem with.

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. Tom Miller writes the Tomfoolery blog for YourTango; this week’s Gay Married Guy is Joel Derfner, author of Swish; and our Straight Married Guy is Figleaf, the guy behind RealAdultSex.com. To ask the guys your own question, click here.



Wise Guys: Do Men Want Less Sex As a Relationship Progresses?

September 5, 2012

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Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Do guys tend to want to have sex less often as a relationship progresses? Is that normal, or is that a sign that a relationship is on the outs?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.

anonymous_suitStraight Married Guy (Figleaf): It’s generally not a sign that the relationship is on the outs. It can be a symptom of a relationship that’s otherwise on the outs. But I think it’s at least as likely for sex to be the only thing that still “works” in a relationship that’s otherwise long gone. (See also: “sex, ex.”)

Yeah, I’m going to go a little further out on a limb and say that at least to the extent that men grow up conditioned to equate sex with acceptance, a bit of “cooling” ardor might correspond with a warming of his heart and a growing sense of security with you.

Or not. He could just have found someone new! He could be quite committed but taking your relationship a bit for granted! Or, especially in longer-term relationships, his libido might not be keeping up with yours, such that he’s still totally satisfied, while your libido’s stayed constant or even started to climb a bit.

Do none of those answers seem interesting or reassuring? Good! Heres why: “Does he or doesn’t he” kinds of tea-leaf reading always works better in the pages of Cosmo than in real life. Not sure how your relationship is going? Ask. (But clue: Cosmo fear-mongering notwithstanding, he may be very surprised that you’re worried.)

daniel_100Gay Single Guy (Daniel): I believe that a lot of passionate energy starts getting directed in domesticity, especially if you start living together. The fact is that relationships change and intensities are ever changing. I like to think that sex will always be in the equation, but then again, I’m not wholly sold on monogamy either. On its own, having less sex doesn’t mean the relationship is about to expire, but you will want to address why you’re having less sex if you’re feeling less fulfilled. It’s always important to get your own!

mark_luczak_100Straight Married Guy (Mark Luczak): The excitement of newness, and thus the frequency, of sex often might just eventually fall victim to routine, shifts in the priority of other responsibilities, and even complacency — for both genders — as a relationship progresses into the longer term, so it’s still a huge leap to presuming relationship turmoil. Something more along the lines of complete apathy or lack of desire can indicate deeper issues. But periodic thoughtful acknowledgment of how a couple’s sex life is evolving can allow them to alleviate any insecurities about commitment and desire, and that reassurance can put the focus back on the pure fun of gettin’ it on, most hopefully still with completely fulfilling regularity.

RELATED ARTICLES FROM EMandLO.com:

Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. This week’s Gay Guy is one-time stripper and sex columnist Daniel; our (Newly-Wed) Straight Married Guy is Mark Luczak, a tech geek at Carnegie Mellon University; and our (Long-Time-Wed) Straight Married Guy is Figleaf, the guy behind RealAdultSex.com. To ask the guys your own question, click here.



Wise Guys: Is Female Ejaculation a Goal for Straight Men in Bed?

August 28, 2012

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photo via Flickr

Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: Is female ejaculation a goal straight guys try to go for in bed? Or would most guys be surprised — grossed out, even — if it happened? To ask the guys your own question, click here.


Single Straight Guy (
Megan): One sad truth about men is that what they’ve learned about sex, they have learned from pornography.  They learn that a good pounding is the same as making love.  They learn that facials and blow jobs and dominance are all part of male-female intercourse.  Female ejaculation occupies a very small niche in that lesson book, but it’s a mysterious thing for both men and women.  Some women don’t even know if they have ejaculated before, for example.  Most people don’t know what the ejaculate is composed of, where it comes from, or what volume of ejaculate can be expected.  What color should it be?  How does it smell and taste?  Will it stain?  Will ejaculate transmit STDs?  These are questions many sexually active adults do not know the answers to.  And this ignorance results in several kinds of reactions to female ejaculation:

- There are men — and some women — who strive to experience a shower of love honey as if it were a contest, just another sexual accomplishment they need to cross off their list. And if they don’t — which is common — they feel like failures.

- Then there are the men — and some women — who don’t care. These are usually the same men who don’t care to know whether a woman experienced an orgasm let alone a watery release. They just can’t be bothered to work for it. Similarly, the female variety of this type doesn’t actively fight for her own pleasure.

- Then there are those who are grossed out by the very thought of it and are completely turned off by the experience when it happens to them. After all, ejaculation isn’t very lady like. I have several male friends who fall into this category.  Of course, these are the same friends who refuse to provide cunnilingus so…take that for whatever it’s worth. The women in this category are the ones who’ve been shamed about their bodies and their normal, natural functions. I was with a woman once who was completely afraid of what might happen had we pursued it (she was irrationally terrified she’d poop on me).

- Finally, there are those of us who are curious, do a little research and try not to be judgmental or obsessive/compulsive about it. These are the men who are open to it and enthusiastic about it (especially if it feels good for their partner) without having tunnel vision; and these are the women who are proficient ejaculators who are self-aware and respectful enough to give their partners a heads-up beforehand to make sure they’re cool with it. Unfortunately, this type is a rare breed. So when you find someone who fits the bill, hang onto them.

Committed Gay Guy (Dwayne): Most guys I know are into ejaculation. So what’s good for the gander is good for the goose! The physical act of ejaculating is a pleasurable human sensation — everyone can enjoy it (unless of course it’s associated with abuse).  And it keeps you honest, since ejaculation cannot be faked!

 

Married Straight Guy (Jake): It’s never been a goal of mine or any of the guys I know. Ejaculation or no, I think most guys are just happy to bring their lady to the summit.

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Committed Gay Guy is Dwayne Resnick, a mid-20th-century decorative arts dealer in NY’s Hudson Valley; our Single Straight Guy is The Meeglet blogger Megan, a former librarian whose Men of the Stacks calendar benefits the It Gets Better Project, and our Married Straight Guy is Jake Kulji, a Minneapolis-based freelance writer who blogs at Analogue Living and who has written two Minnesota hiking and camping guidebooks. To ask the guys your own question, click here.



Wise Guys: Do Men Really Think About Baseball to Last Longer?

August 21, 2012

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photo via flickr

Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Do men really think about baseball to make sex last longer? If they don’t know anything about baseball, what else do they think about?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.

Straight Single Guy (Tom Miller): I guess I’ve never talked about it with other guys, but I don’t know if delaying strategy is really discussed. I think dudes are generally pretty focused on the task at hand. Sometimes we think of a scene from Spaceballs, and that’s when you catch us laughing.

 

anonymous_suitStraight Married Guy (Figleaf): I never really understood baseball statistics (the canonical thing the old advice manuals recommended men think about) but — true story! — when I was younger, I did sometimes make sex last longer by trying to figure out why anyone would want to think about baseball when they were having sex!

For the record, one of the things that made sex last longer, for me and I think for a lot of men, is to learn to surrender to the feeling instead of resisting it. Sounds paradoxical, but the trick is that stress only makes you think you’re lasting longer. Enjoying yourself and your partner’s enjoyment, realizing there’s no hurry, realizing that if you do ejaculate there are lots of things you and your partner can do till you’re ready again, are all much better things to think about… that have the added benefit of making sex actually last longer.

joel_derfner_100Gay Married Guy (Joel Derfner, author of Swish): I have trouble believing it’s possible to find a man who tries to make sex last longer.

 

 

RELATED ARTICLES ON EMandLO.com:

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. Tom Miller writes the Tomfoolery blog for YourTango; this week’s Gay Married Guy is Joel Derfner, author of Swish; and our Straight Married Guy is Figleaf, the guy behind RealAdultSex.com. To ask the guys your own question, click here.



Wise Guys: Do Men Know Whether Their Male Friends Are Circumcised?

August 14, 2012

4 Comments

photo via Flickr

Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Do guys ever discuss circumcision with each other? Do you tend to know whether your guy friends are circumcised or not? To ask the guys your own question, click here.

 

Gay Single Guy (Justin Huang): Gross. I don’t know whether any of my straight guy friends are cut or not (repeat, gross), but I’m sure they’d be a bit freaked out to know that I probably know their penis size and if they’re any good at using it if they’ve hooked up with any one of my girl friends. It’s not like I want to know — in fact it’s the exact opposite! My straight boys are like my less evolved younger brothers (whom I don’t share a bathroom with!). But margarita night with my girl friends does tend to stray into penis talk, and penis size is always something fun to giggle about over a mixed drink.

When it comes to my fellow gay friends, I’m sure there’s a common misconception that all we do is talk nonstop about dick, but if you drop in on us at Sunday brunch, we’re probably debating Lana del Ray or trash-talking Nicki Minaj, not whipping it out and comparing. So when it comes to the penises of the men in my life, I have no idea about whether or not they wear hoodies, nor do I particularly care. Unless, of course, I’ve seen it for myself and gotten a chance to get to know it ;)

anonymous_suitStraight Single Guy (Max): Totally. Remember, public showers used to be quite common. I’m guessing that some groups of friends are too homophobic to discuss it, but nakedness happens. Whether it’s skinny dipping, walking in on a buddy’s sexy situation or just straight talking about it, your true friends will come to learn the status of your foreskin. A bit of a tangent: Can you imagine the first man trying to convince all other men to cut their son’s foreskin off? I don’t care how you feel about the cleanliness and aesthetic aspects, you have to admit that it must have been an awkward conversation at first. Also, did the man who invented circumcision do it to himself? Or was it invented by women to get us back for millenia of mistreatment?

wiseguy_benStraight Married Guy (Ben)I never discussed circumcision with anyone until I had a son. Then, I pretty much only discussed it with my wife and other moms. I never thought about that til now, so I guess it’s something guys don’t really ever talk about. I’m also not sporty, so I generally don’t know anything about my guy friends’ dicks. Except for the few I know a LOT about. ;-)

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Married Guy is Ben, a writer and artist living in Los Angeles who runs AdultParlorGames.com; our Gay Guy is Justin Huang, an LA-based freelance film editor, producer, certified personal trainer and the voice of IAmYellowPeril.com; and our Single Straight Guy, Max, is a recent college grad in New York City. To ask the guys your own question, click here.



Wise Guys: Do Men Know When They’re in Love?

August 7, 2012

5 Comments

photo via flickr

Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: Do guys know when they’re in love? To ask the guys your own question, click here.

Single Straight Guy (Colin Adamo of Hooking Up & Staying Hooked): Not always. I think we spend a lot of time debating and turning this question over and over in our own heads as soon as we’re in a serious relationship (or even the first couple of weeks with a really exciting new partner). In some cases we may not recognize it until it’s too late. Other times we jump to conclusions and let out those three words when we shouldn’t. Sometimes the best thing that can happen to us is having friends and family give us that little push and point out that we are, in fact, in love.

Married Straight Guy (Irad Eyal of Sexdegrees.net): Yes. No! Why is she here all the time? I think guys know when they’re in love, but they’re instantly terrified by the implications. At the moment our hearts start soaring, we’re dragged down by fears of commitment, settling down, and worse. Emotions of any sort can be scary (Why is that baby seal so cute to me? Club it!), but love is the worst. Confronting love is an internal battle that has to play out before a guy can proceed to actually being in love.

terence_100Committed Gay Guy (Terence): You betcha we know. It’s usually about two months behind schedule. A man’s realization is often triggered by his lover’s threat to bail if he doesn’t get with the program. But once he does, it’s on.

 

 

RELATED ARTICLES FROM EMandLO.com:

Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. Irad Eyal is a writer, TV producer, and founder of celebrity gossip site Sexdegrees.netColin Adamo is a recent Yale grad and author/blogger behind Hooking Up & Staying Hooked, the only sex and relationships resource specifically for high school guys; and Terence is an American living in Sydney. To ask the guys your own question, click here.