Confessions
Comment of the Week
5 Ways to Avoid a Lifetime of Sad, Unsatisfying, Marital Sex

This comment by MEK in response to the post “My Husband Won’t Even Try to Give Me an Orgasm” is truly depressing. It’s a layered onion of bummer that makes us want to cry. This 21-year marriage has it all: Physical pain? Check. Miscommunication (or total lack of communication)? Check. Selfishness? Check. Resentment? Check. Bitterness? Check! […]

Confessions
Strap-Ons Are the Great Gender Equalizer

Discussions on pegging usually go in one of two directions: 1) Straight into the ugly past where men who enjoy anal play automatically means they’re either girly or gay [sic], OR 2) towards thoughtful discussions about the nuances of sex and the politics of gender. We obviously prefer to highlight the latter, so today we give you Jon’s recent […]

Personal Essays
Considering the 30-Day Sex Challenge in a 16-Year Marriage

by Jennifer Munn My husband just suggested to me that we have sex every day for thirty days. Seriously. SERIOUSLY? When it comes to sex, while I definitely like it (and have even been known to love it on occasion),  I don’t frequently seek it out. In fact, sometimes I pointedly dodge it. Why do I avoid thee? Let me […]

Personal Essays
On the 10th Anniversary of Our DIY Wedding

Ten years ago today, Joey and I were married — untraditionally, feministically, fantastically. By the spring of 2006, we knew we were going to be together, but we weren’t sure we were going to exchange vows. As a little girl, I had never dreamed of my big day with a big white dress and a big white […]

Confessions
The Great Strap-On Debate: Can a Woman Pressure Her Boyfriend to Get Pegged?

Every few months, a new debate pops up in the comments section of one of our most popular, evergreen posts — “Confession: I Want to Do My Boyfriend with a Strap-On” — written by an anonymous female contributor a few years ago. The standard fare is usually something tired about how “it’s gay and feminizing […]

Polls
POLL: What Do You Think of the Band “Ninja Sex Party”?

We just discovered (thanks to the Medium profile by Shaun Raviv) Ninja Sex Party, a comedy band featuring “Danny Sexbang” and “Ninja Brian” that rocks with earnest irony about sex and peen and high school dinosaurs and dragons and more peen. Their super low-budge videos have racked up millions of views on YouTube. Is this […]

Confessions
The Negative Power of Porn

Porn is a tricky thing. On the one hand, you can’t legislate people’s fantasies, especially when pornography may be the one sexual outlet they have.  As sexual liberator, educator or tension reliever, it can be a positive thing. But, it can also be a destructive thing: ruining relationships, setting up unrealistic expectations, perpetuating misogyny. Certainly some porn […]

Confessions
Talking to Your Daughters About Comfort and Consent

A friend just wrote us about her real world application of some of the advice Lo recently gave in “How to Prevent a Brock: 10 Practical Ways Parents Can Fight Rape Culture.” We couldn’t be more delighted! Raising conscientious kids with agency — especially girls — is possible in small, everyday ways like this: I wanted to share […]

Confessions
“DON’T Marry Someone for Their Potential”

Embed from Getty Images   Ciris had a particularly thoughtful response to our recent Your Call, “How Can He Get His Boyfriend to Fight Fair?” which broached the topic of trying to change a partner before you get married: A lot of the discussion seems to be “what I would do” or pseudo-psychoanalysis of the […]

Confessions
“Stop Relying on Your Dick to Please a Woman”

Apologies if we seem to be beating off a dead horse here: our last Comment of the Week was related to penis size, as well. But we can’t help it! This topic gets some of the best, most thoughtful and helpful responses from our amazingly enlightened readers. Behold,  RodR‘s smart reconceptualization of sex: I think […]

Confessions
“Below Average Penis Size Is NOT a Character Flaw”

Our post “My Boyfriend Has a Small Penis….At Least, It’s Small to Me” has the most comments of anything on EMandLO.com — almost 1000! And they just keep coming. Not all of them are helpful . . . or sane. So it’s nice when we get a tempered voice of reason. This week it was […]

Confessions
A Straight Man’s Take on Rape Culture

As usual, Johnny had something thoughtful to say. This past week it was about rape culture, thanks to the Stanford rape case in the news: You know… as a straight man you think “rape culture” is bullshit when you learn about it. You believe that a tiny percentage of men are rapists, and since they’re sociopaths, there’s no […]

Confessions
Like Rare White Antelopes, There ARE Men Who Don’t Watch Porn

Reader Corrinne recently responded to a comment by Madamoiselle L on the post “I’m Put Out About His Porn.” First L’s comment, followed by Corrinne’s:  Plehay said: “I’ve had very serious conversations with my boyfriend about why I am against the use of porn in lieu of human contact or communication, and the content that is […]