Confessions
Personal Essays
On the 10th Anniversary of Our DIY Wedding

Ten years ago today, Joey and I were married — untraditionally, feministically, fantastically. By the spring of 2006, we knew we were going to be together, but we weren’t sure we were going to exchange vows. As a little girl, I had never dreamed of my big day with a big white dress and a big white […]

Confessions
The Great Strap-On Debate: Can a Woman Pressure Her Boyfriend to Get Pegged?

Every few months, a new debate pops up in the comments section of one of our most popular, evergreen posts — “Confession: I Want to Do My Boyfriend with a Strap-On” — written by an anonymous female contributor a few years ago. The standard fare is usually something tired about how “it’s gay and feminizing […]

Polls
POLL: What Do You Think of the Band “Ninja Sex Party”?

We just discovered (thanks to the Medium profile by Shaun Raviv) Ninja Sex Party, a comedy band featuring “Danny Sexbang” and “Ninja Brian” that rocks with earnest irony about sex and peen and high school dinosaurs and dragons and more peen. Their super low-budge videos have racked up millions of views on YouTube. Is this […]

Confessions
The Negative Power of Porn

Porn is a tricky thing. On the one hand, you can’t legislate people’s fantasies, especially when pornography may be the one sexual outlet they have.  As sexual liberator, educator or tension reliever, it can be a positive thing. But, it can also be a destructive thing: ruining relationships, setting up unrealistic expectations, perpetuating misogyny. Certainly some porn […]

Confessions
Talking to Your Daughters About Comfort and Consent

A friend just wrote us about her real world application of some of the advice Lo recently gave in “How to Prevent a Brock: 10 Practical Ways Parents Can Fight Rape Culture.” We couldn’t be more delighted! Raising conscientious kids with agency — especially girls — is possible in small, everyday ways like this: I wanted to share […]

Confessions
“DON’T Marry Someone for Their Potential”

Embed from Getty Images   Ciris had a particularly thoughtful response to our recent Your Call, “How Can He Get His Boyfriend to Fight Fair?” which broached the topic of trying to change a partner before you get married: A lot of the discussion seems to be “what I would do” or pseudo-psychoanalysis of the […]

Confessions
“Stop Relying on Your Dick to Please a Woman”

Apologies if we seem to be beating off a dead horse here: our last Comment of the Week was related to penis size, as well. But we can’t help it! This topic gets some of the best, most thoughtful and helpful responses from our amazingly enlightened readers. Behold,  RodR‘s smart reconceptualization of sex: I think […]

Confessions
“Below Average Penis Size Is NOT a Character Flaw”

Our post “My Boyfriend Has a Small Penis….At Least, It’s Small to Me” has the most comments of anything on EMandLO.com — almost 1000! And they just keep coming. Not all of them are helpful . . . or sane. So it’s nice when we get a tempered voice of reason. This week it was […]

Confessions
A Straight Man’s Take on Rape Culture

As usual, Johnny had something thoughtful to say. This past week it was about rape culture, thanks to the Stanford rape case in the news: You know… as a straight man you think “rape culture” is bullshit when you learn about it. You believe that a tiny percentage of men are rapists, and since they’re sociopaths, there’s no […]

Confessions
Like Rare White Antelopes, There ARE Men Who Don’t Watch Porn

Reader Corrinne recently responded to a comment by Madamoiselle L on the post “I’m Put Out About His Porn.” First L’s comment, followed by Corrinne’s:  Plehay said: “I’ve had very serious conversations with my boyfriend about why I am against the use of porn in lieu of human contact or communication, and the content that is […]

Polls
Poll: How Do You Define Sex?

“We had sex.” Upon hearing a confession like that, most people would automatically assume the word “sex” in that sentence means intercourse. If you heard that confession, what would it mean to you? Did you buy Bill Clinton’s claim that he “did not have sex with that woman,” based on your definition of the word […]

Confessions
The Most Disturbing Comment This Site Has Ever Received!

After over fifteen years in this business, we’ve seen and heard a lot. There was the couple asking about how they could get their golden retriever to consensually have sex with the wife while the husband watched. There was the morgue worker wondering if he could get STDs from the corpses. There was the “gentleman” Em […]

Personal Essays
Sick-Skinny: When Weight Loss from Illness Is Considered Hot & Beautiful

By Jacqueline Raposo for Bust Magazine When illness causes weight loss, reactions from friends, family, and even strangers can be “positive” in the worst possible way. When I was 27 years old, I weighed 105 pounds and was extremely sick. Over a span of 15 years, I’d been extensively treated twice for Lyme disease, with […]