Confessions
Personal Essays
Sick-Skinny: When Weight Loss from Illness Is Considered Hot & Beautiful

By Jacqueline Raposo for Bust Magazine When illness causes weight loss, reactions from friends, family, and even strangers can be “positive” in the worst possible way. When I was 27 years old, I weighed 105 pounds and was extremely sick. Over a span of 15 years, I’d been extensively treated twice for Lyme disease, with […]

Comment of the Week
Should You Ask Out a Coworker? 6 Questions to Ask Yourself First

The following is a very thoughtful, thorough response to our post “Should He Hit on a Coworker?” from reader Barbara Arthur, a self-proclaimed “middle-aged female who used to work in career-oriented management positions but now chooses to work ‘just a regular job’ because she thinks management jobs suck (so thinks she can offer various perspectives).” […]

Comment of the Week
How Do I Deal with a Bisexual Girlfriend?

Our contributor Dr. AlanK had some sage advice for a young male reader whose girlfriend recently discovered that she is bisexual: You’re an early 20-something man and your girlfriend announces she’s bisexual. She has discovered that an important piece of her erotic makeup involves women. She will eventually connect with one. Hell, she probably should connect […]

Comment of the Week
3 Rules to Follow When Buying a Sex Toy for Your Girlfriend/Wife

MILC had some good advice for straight men looking to surprise their girlfriends with a sex toy gift for the first time: Avoid those huge toy makers that put porn stars on the boxes. You want something that’s easy on the eyes, comes in nice, inoffensive packaging, and is high quality. So anything by Fun […]

Polls
Poll: What’s Your Favorite Fantasy?

There are popular themes that come up again and again in people’s fantasies. We’re curious if they figure in your dirty thoughts. We created two polls, one for ladies and, below that, one for men. If your favorite fantasy isn’t listed here, let us know what it is in the comments below! Check back later […]

Polls
Quiz: How Good Is the Sex in Your Long-Term Relationship

Whether you’re married, living together, or committed for a couple of years, it’s perfectly normal for the sex and passion to wane. The mystery, romance and butterflies of new lust & love cannot be maintained indefinitely. But it shouldn’t disappear all together, either. A good, healthy, satisfying sex life in a long-term, committed relationship takes […]

Confessions
My Kung Fu Is Strong Against Your Pro-Polyamory Arguments

We have two companion posts, one called “Top 10 Reasons for Being – and Staying – Monogamous,” the other called “Top 10 Reasons for Being — and Staying — NON-Monogamous.” We intended each as encouragement for those people who prefer to be in their particular kind of relationship, not as indictments of one another. But home-team loyalty runs […]

Confessions
If You’re Unsatisfied, Speak Up!

Reader Joanne had this to say in response to the post “My Husband Won’t Even Try to Give Me an Orgasm”: I have been married for over 20 years and I now have the man of my dreams. It wasn’t always like that though. We had a great relationship and good sex, but he could […]

Confessions
Don’t Call Yourself a Slut

Reader “Don” had this to say in response to our post “How Many Partners Officially Makes You a Slut?” While we can see the benefits of reclaiming the word and wearing it as a badge of honor, we also appreciate, like Don, the importance of not using it any self-denigrating way, however subtly: Once, a close friend described […]

Confessions
Size Does Not Correlate with Pleasure

We can never resist a feel-good, body-positive, you-go-boy! comment. This one is from Olatunji in response to the article “My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me“: The size is not what matters. The smaller organ has a much greater erectile capacity than the larger one. The size of the flaccid […]

Confessions
Why Some Men Aren’t Interested in Women’s Pleasure

Jenny Bean had a thoughtful (and somewhat depressing) response to the post “My Husband Won’t Even Try to Give Me an Orgasm“: I think society tells us girls early in life that we shouldn’t want sex, sex is bad. Girls that do like sex or God forbid have a sex drive [are] slu**s, who**s, etc. Men […]

Confessions
Sometimes You Just Have to Walk Away from a Marriage Over Sex

BigDudesStealMonkeys had a very thoughtful response to a vanilla woman married to a secretly kinky (and cheating) husband: I have a daughter, and I would be happy with her doing anything that made HER happy. If that’s BDSM, then so be it. Some people enjoy that type of playful sex, and who the hell are […]

Confessions
Is Rape Natural?

Sometimes a reader comment demands more than just a “thumbs down” or a two-sentence rebuttal.  Sometimes it warrants its own full-length post. J Male’s recent response to “Why Women Have Ravishment and Rape Fantasies” was one such comment. Our reply is below his: “Rape fantasies were a way [for women] to avoid taking blame for their […]

Confessions
The Best Butt Sex Philosophy: Your Booty, Your Business

Chuck is our kind of guy. In fact, he’s the kind of guy we’re hoping to create more of with this here site and all its post on anal play. He recently commented on one — “Do Most Straight Men Secretly Love Bum Play?” — and made us proud: I’m married, straight, and really like it! If […]

Confessions
What to Say to a Partner Who Wants to Get Kinkier Than You Do

Reader bklynbug said the following in response to our post “Your Call: He’s Kinky, She’s Vanilla, Is the Relationship Doomed?” One word: dialog. You say he’s mentioned it a few times, but it doesn’t sound like the two of you have really sat down and talked. Seriously. Clothes on, at the kitchen table, cards all […]

Confessions
If You Want to Make Sex Equal, Stop Viewing Penetration as Submissive

Reader Lily had a lot to say this week in response to our (oldie but goodie) post “Confession: I Want to Do My Boyfriend with a Strap-On.” We’ve gathered her various comments into one post here for your edification. Preach it, Lily! And we would just add that misperception doesn’t make something so; if we […]