“Deal Breaker or No Deal Breaker” is a new series of polls we’ll be running at EMandLO.com. We want to know what our readers consider a deal breaker in a serious relationship, and what they could get past. A deal breaker could be anything from someone who doesn’t like doggy style… to someone who doesn’t like Woody Allen movies. Basically, anything that you couldn’t overlook in a relationship — some kind of “catch” that ultimately outweighs any redeeming quality a person may have.
This week’s Deal Breaker or No Breaker topic is oral sex. Let’s say you meet the man or woman of your dreams, but it turns out they don’t like oral sex (receiving, giving, whatever). Would that be a deal breaker for you? Or let’s say you meet the man or woman of your dreams, and they really really like oral sex (receiving, giving, whatever). Like, a lot. Would thatÂ be a deal breaker for you? Or, on the other hand, do you feel like anything related to oral sex would be something you could get past?
Weigh in by voting in one of our polls below! The first poll is for men, the second for women…
Riots, schmiots — let’s get to what really matters: who’s the hottest World Cup player? Seriously, we want to know. List your top picks in the comments below, even if they’re already out of the running by now. (If we get enough nominations, we’ll run a hot-off in poll-form next week.)
The lesson behind those corny pickup lines is that women like an outgoing guy. Itâ€™s not the lines that worked for them. Itâ€™s the fact that they had the balls to express their attraction in a cheesy-but-harmless way.
The only â€ślineâ€ť I ever really used is one of the oldest in the book. When girls walked by as I worked out the gym, Iâ€™d do the old, â€ś98! 99! 100!â€ť
It worked great. Theyâ€™d crack a big grin and roll their eyes and then be receptive to conversation.
Disgusted sneer and walk away = she hates you and your line.
Rolls eyes to the ceiling and smiles = green light!
Which got us thinking: Are there some places that should be pick-up-free zones? The kind of places where you are bound to run into a hook-up again after things might have gone south? Is the gym a place where you just want to escape into your own endorphin-fueled workout without worrying about being hit on? Or, as a public space, is it fair game?
Are you separated, divorced, or on your way there? If so, we want to hear from you. (We promise complete anonymity!) We’re working on a new project about happy-ever-afters… and not-so-happy-ever-afters… and we want to interview couples, over email, about the thing that caused their marriage to fail.
If you’re interested in sharing your story anonymously — it’s a chance to vent, or to put it all down for posterity, or to help others avoid the same pitfalls — thenÂ send us a message via our contact form here. And we’ll tawk!
Oh, and if your marriage is a gloriously happy one? Or at least reasonably satisfying? No discrimination: We want to hear from you, too. Again, anonymity is guaranteed. JustÂ send us a message via our contact form here.
Thanks, as always, for sharing…. and over-sharing.
Are you happily married? If so, we want to hear from you! We’re working on a new project celebrating happy-ever-afters, and we want to interview you over email to find out what makes your marriage a happy one. You can stay completely anonymous, we promise! (Unless you’d care to brag.) If you’re interested in sharing your story — think of it as helping to make the world a happier place, one relationship at a time — then send us a message via our contact form here. And we’ll tawk!
Oh, and if your marriage failed miserably? Or is in the process of failing miserably? No discrimination: We want to hear from you, too. Assuming, that is, that you’re willing to let complete strangers learn from your mistakes. Again, anonymity is guaranteed. Just send us a message via our contact form here.
Thanks, as always, for sharing…. and over-sharing.
At what point in a relationship is it acceptable to give a gift that is sex-related — a high-end toy, perhaps, or a saucy costume or, say, a beginner’s guide to kink* (to offer a completely random example…)? After you’ve met each other’s parents? After you’ve met each other’s a-holes? After you’ve shared last names? Let us know what you think in the comments section below.
* We happen to think that 150 Shades of Play: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink makes a fantastic holiday gift for booty calls, sisters-in-law, husbands and wives, book club friends, open-minded colleagues, anonymous White Elephant Party recipients… and it’s now under ten dollars!
Nothing but harm will come in the long run, from allowing yourself to be exploited, and it is absolutely NOT in ANY way anÂ empowerment of yourself or any other young women, for you to send across the message that you are to be valued (even by you)Â more for your sexual appeal than your obvious talent….
IÂ repeat, you have enough talent that you don’t need to let the musicÂ business make a prostitute of you. You shouldn’t let them make a fool of you either. Don’t think for a moment that any of them giveÂ a flying fuck about you. They’re there for the moneyâ€¦ we’re there for the music. It has always been that way and it will always beÂ that way. The sooner a young lady gets to know that, the sooner she can be REALLY in control….
Whether we like it or not, usÂ females in the industry are role models and as such we have to be extremely careful what messages we send to other women. TheÂ message you keep sending is that its somehow cool to be prostituted â€¦ its so not cool Miley â€¦ its dangerous. Women are to beÂ valued for so much more than their sexuality. We aren’t merely objects of desire. I would be encouraging you to send healthierÂ messages to your peers â€¦ that they and you are worth more than what is currently going on in your career. Kindly fire anyÂ motherfucker who hasn’t expressed alarm, because they don’t care about you.
Miley is, from what I can gather, in charge of her own show. She’s writing the plot and signing the checks, and although I think it’s tempting to imagine herÂ in the board room of label assholes and management, I don’t think any of them masterminded her current plan to be a raging, naked, twerking sexpot. IÂ think that’s All Miley All The Way. Now, would these men ARGUE with her when she comes into the room and throws down her treatment to hop up nakedÂ on the proverbial (and literal) wrecking ball? Of course not. Sex sells. We all know it. Miley knows it better than anyone: swinging naked on a big metalÂ ball simply gets you more hits than swinging on a big metal ball wearing clothes. We’re mammals. LOOK BOOBS! And even more tantalizing: LOOKÂ HANNAH MONTANA BOOBS! But none of this means that Miley is following anyone else’s script. In fact, what I see is Miley desperately trying to write herÂ own script; truly trying to be taken seriously (even if its in a nakedly playful way) by the standards of her own peers….
I want to live in a world where Miley (or any female musician) can twerk wildly at 20, wear a full-cover floral hippie mumu at 37, show up at 47 in see-through latex, and pose semi-naked, like Keith & co, on the cover of rolling stone at 57 and be APPLAUDED for being so comfortable with her body. ThisÂ is not to say that women have to play the desperate I’M-STILL-SEXY game as they age. Watching Madonna’s plastic surgeries and apparentÂ stubbornness around aging just makes my inner teenager want to scream (YOU’RE MADONNA! YOU COULD HAVE MADE AGING SEXY GODAMMITÂ AND YOU DIDN’T!!), but the grown-up in me just pauses for a breath and remembers that Madonna is just carving out her section of the playing field. HowÂ she chooses to sculpt her face and body is just…her choice.