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Question of the Week: How Long Should Intercourse Last?

September 8, 2011


photo via flickr

Hey, hey, it’s a brand new feature on our site! Occasionally, we’ll ask you guys an impertinent question, and you can share your answer in the comments section below. Feel free to share your age, gender, relationship status, sexuality, etc., if you feel that it’s relevant to the answer. So, this week’s question:

How long should intercourse last for, ideally? Forget foreplay, forget oral, forget all the other stuff that makes sex sex — we just want to know what your personal preference is for the old in-out.

(“None” is a perfectly acceptable answer, by the way!) Oh, and please do explain your answer, list exceptions, blah blah blah.

Okay… dish!

Poll: “The Prom” vs “Prom”

May 19, 2011


It being that time of year, we wanted to get a definitive answer on the eternal question: Does one go to “the prom” (as Time magazine suggests in their “Brief History of the Prom”) or just “prom” (a la Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink: “What about prom, Blaine?”).

Can't see the poll? Click here to take it.

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Tell Us Your Awkward Sex Story, Win a We-Vibe!

April 13, 2011


We’re writing an article about recovering from awkward sex and would love to quote you!

  • Did you or your partner do something mortifying in bed that you had to get over the next time you were between the sheets?
  • Did your or your partner’s equipment once fail to work (or work too well, i.e. too quickly)?
  • How about having sex for the first time after forgiving a partner’s transgression?
  • Did you ever have such a long dry spell that finally having sex again became an issue? Or did you wait so long to cash in your V card that it became a much bigger deal than it needed to be?
  • Did someone accidentally (or “accidentally”) go through the “backdoor” when it was locked?

You get the picture — we’re looking for any and every kind of awkward moment that made the subsequent sex just as awkward or even more so! And we want to know how you recovered (i.e. made the subsequent sex just fine) or how you didn’t (i.e. the subsequent sex sucked). We love the funny stuff, but it’s got to be something that really affected you and/or your partner. Please write to us by this Thursday, April 14th, via our contact form* and you’ll be automatically entered to win an awesome We-Vibe II from Eden Fantasys — the kind of cool, sleek, effective toy that makes partner play anything but awkward!

*Select “Interview Me for Your Article” from the pull-down menu and be sure to include your email address so we can contact you if you win. As always, requested anonymity will be honored.

Poll: Do You Send Nude Pics to Partners?

August 26, 2010


Can’t see the poll? Click here to take it.

Poll: What’s Your Ideal Penetration Time?

August 19, 2010


Some researchers say the ideal time for actual in-and-out action is 10 minutes. What say you?

Can’t see the poll? Click here to take it.

Poll: Is There a Better Term for “Female Ejaculate”?

August 12, 2010


photo of Old Faithful by Chuck Martin

Perhaps one day in the future, saying “female ejaculate” will sound as quaint and old-fashioned as “female chairman” or “female fireman.” But in the meantime, women who squirt are stuck with this awkward modified term. Can you think of something better? Make your suggestions in the comments section below, and in a few weeks we’ll run a poll and let readers vote on their favorite. And don’t worry, we promise to include “female ejaculate” and even plain old “ejaculate” as options for you to vote on. In the meantime, though, we’re looking for some more creative options.¬†¬†Va-geyser? E-jill-ulate? Hmm… maybe not. See? We need your help!

Poll: Who’s Most Fun to Role-Play on TV?

July 29, 2010


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And the Winning Term for the Female Equivalent of Blue Balls Is…

July 28, 2010



After a week of voting, “blue box” was the top pick out 11 options, getting 27% of the vote. The next closest was (astonishingly) “purplepuss”, with 16%. Em liked how “blue bird” rolled off the tongue and Lo was partial to “blue walls” for it’s rhyming with “blue balls”, but both of us think “blue box” is a fine term worthy of the win. (Though we are wondering if “blue box” being listed first out of the 11 had any influence on the voting.)

Porn – Harmless Fun or Negative Culture Shaper?

July 27, 2010


We’ve always been torn by porn. We’re not fans ourselves, but we’re not comfortable dictating where to draw the line for other people’s fantasies either. So it was with great interest that we read this Guardian interview with Gail Dines, author of the new book “Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality,” along with the critical Publisher’s Weekly review of it:

As pornography has become both more extreme and more commercial, antiporn activist Dines argues, it has dehumanized our sexual relationships. The radical objectification and often brutal denigration of women in porn, she holds, leaks into other aspects of our lives. Dines’s argument rests on a compelling, close reading of the imagery and narrative content of magazines, videos, and marketing materials; what is missing, however, is a similarly compelling body of research on how these images are used by viewers, aside from Dines’s own anecdotal evidence. The author’s appropriation of addiction terminology‚ÄĒviewers are called users, habitual viewing is an addiction, and pornography featuring teenagers is called Pseudo-Child Pornography or PCP‚ÄĒis distracting and suggests that rhetorical tricks are needed because solid argumentation is lacking. Likewise, Dines’s opponents are unlikely to be swayed by her speculation tying porn viewing to rape and child molestation, nor by the selective sources she draws on to support her point (convicted sex offenders). The book does raise important questions about the commoditization of sexual desires and the extent to which pornography has become part of our economy (with hotel chains and cable and satellite companies among the largest distributors). (July)

We know the majority of readers of EMandLO.com are probably pro-porn, but figured many of you also have reservations about a lot of it. How it both positively and negatively affects our desires, our expectations and our relationships. Rarely is any issue just black and white, and porn’s no exception (despite this post’s title). So we wanted to hear from you about the gray areas. Let’s us know all your thoughts on porn — the good, the bad, the ugly — in the comments below.

Vote on Your Favorite Term for the Female Equivalent of Blue Balls

July 22, 2010


A few weeks ago, we noticed The Frisky had a post about the female equivalent of blue balls, which they called (rather uncreatively, we thought), pink balls. This reminded us that a few months back we had you guys nominate your favorite new term for this achy condition. We got some great ideas but¬† never had you vote for an official winner! So we finally picked the best of the submissions and put them in the poll below — please select your favorite so we can determine a winner by next week and call the Oxford English Dictionary for inclusion in their next edition.

Can’t see the poll? Click here to take it.