Horoscopes
Horoscopes
Your Fifty Shades ‘Scopes

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) This week, you’re ‘scopes are all shades of grey.¬† aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) You might have and Audi R8 Sypder, […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: February 2nd, 2015

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Advantage, Aries. You’ve got game this week, and if you choose to […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: January 26, 2015

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Don’t you hate it when terribly clever people say terribly unexpected things […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: January 20th, 2015

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Anyone who judges you by the size of your wallet (or any […]

Horoscopes
Your Horoscopes for the Week of January 15th, 2015

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) You’ll probably get lucky this week, but not in any deep and […]

Horoscopes
Astrological New Year’s Resolutions

via Flickr Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) This week, in honor of the new year, your sexy ‘scopes are in resolution form: aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. […]

Horoscopes
Your Holiday Horoscopes: A Caroling Tradition

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) This week, nothing is sacred, as we take traditional Christmas carols and turn them into sex advice. Merry Xmas to […]

Horoscopes
Your Annie Horoscopes: 12-15-14

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes. This week, we take inspiration from the big holiday movie this season: a remake of the 1982 classic¬†Annie. We have yet to see the new version — though we have high hopes, except […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: 12-01-14

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Sometimes it’s not about who has the best lines or the firmest butt or the biggest […]

Horoscopes
Your Thanksgiving Horoscopes: 11-24-14

photo by thestarmama Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) You don’t have to take drastic, Jackass-like measures in order to get attention, […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: 11-17-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) If your mind’s in the gutter but your ass is on the […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: 11-10-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Your attention span for relationships currently rivals that of the average Buzzfeed […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: 11-03-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) We’re assuming the stars are talking about love, but this may apply […]

Horoscopes
Your Halloween Horoscopes: 10-27-14

photo via Flickr Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) What’s the hurry? Take your time and get to know a potential partner […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: 10-20-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Anger and resentment will follow if someone becomes too clingy too fast. […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: 10-14-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) If we had a dime bag for every time the stars told […]