Horoscopes
Astrological New Year’s Resolutions

via Flickr Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) This week, in honor of the new year, your sexy ‘scopes are in resolution form: aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. […]

Your Holiday Horoscopes: A Caroling Tradition

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) This week, nothing is sacred, as we take traditional Christmas carols and turn them into sex advice. Merry Xmas to […]

Your Annie Horoscopes: 12-15-14

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes. This week, we take inspiration from the big holiday movie this season: a remake of the 1982 classic¬†Annie. We have yet to see the new version — though we have high hopes, except […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: 12-01-14

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Sometimes it’s not about who has the best lines or the firmest butt or the biggest […]

Your Thanksgiving Horoscopes: 11-24-14

photo by thestarmama Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) You don’t have to take drastic, Jackass-like measures in order to get attention, […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: 11-17-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) If your mind’s in the gutter but your ass is on the […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: 11-10-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Your attention span for relationships currently rivals that of the average Buzzfeed […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: 11-03-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) We’re assuming the stars are talking about love, but this may apply […]

Your Halloween Horoscopes: 10-27-14

photo via Flickr Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) What’s the hurry? Take your time and get to know a potential partner […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: 10-20-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Anger and resentment will follow if someone becomes too clingy too fast. […]