Horoscopes
Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: 06-16-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) If you’re the last person on earth to not use Facebook, then sign up already: Someone […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: 06-09-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Oh, Aquarius, you’re a fool for love. It’s kind of cute when Meg Ryan does it, […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: 06-02-2014

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Your needs may not be fulfilled if you have tunnel vision regarding the likes and dislikes […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: 05-27-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) According to the stars, “a one-on-one relationship will be too confining for you this week.” If […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: 05-19-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Omigod, it so totally worked! Your new Urban Outfitters alterna-wardrobe has totally given you this new […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: 05-12-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) This week, you’ll feel wild and passionate. Your body language will speak for itself…unless you have […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: 05-05-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) It won’t take much for you to attract a perfect partner. That’s assuming your perfect partner […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: 04-28-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Everyone likes to embellish a little, to make their stories or themselves a little more interesting. […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: Overplayed Inspiration Week

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) I’ve tried to talk to you and make you understand. All you have to do is […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: 04-14-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) You will meet people in the strangest places and through the most unlikely situations. So don’t […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: 04-07-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Whoever you’re currently with is going to hate us for this one (you yourself may even […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: 03-31-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) If you accept the first offer that comes along, you’ll never know how many more you […]

Horoscopes
Your (Proverbial) Horoscopes: 03-24-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) As you know, a rolling astrologist gathers no moss. So this week, we present you with you your horoscopes in proverb […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: One-Word Edition

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) This week, it’s one-word advice, because brevity is the soul of wit. aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Moderate. (Def. #1: To lessen […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: 03-10-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.)  aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Open up your mouth And speak the truth of your heart. Easy on the tongue. taurus […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: 03-03-14

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.)  aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Don’t look now, but — hey, we said don’t look! Geez, sometimes you’re about as subtle […]