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Are Women Even Less Naturally Monogamous Than Men?

August 29, 2013

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Daniel Bergner is one of our favorite writers on the topic of sex. A few years back he wrote the awesome book The Other Side of Desire, which we raved about at the time, and then shortly after he wrote a cover story about female desire for the New York Times magazine, which we also raved about. That article became his new book: What Do Women Want? Adventures in the Science of Female Desire. We chatted with Daniel about monogamy, erotic distance, ev0-psych crazies, and the lust-killing properties of the flaccid penis…

EM & LO: Why do we still know so little about female desire, why is it not studied more?

DANIEL BERGNER: We–our society and our scientists–have spent so long seeing what we wanted to see: female desire as a lesser drive, weak in comparison with male lust. This has been soothing to society and comforting to men. Only lately, as more and more female scientists have begun doing sex research, have we begun to see beyond the distortions.

One of the major findings presented in your book is that women are not naturally monogamous, that sex with strangers is a big turn-on for women, and they crave sexual variety and novelty, just like men. How have people reacted to this news? Have you been surprised by any reactions?

DB: For men, this triggers a bit of trepidation. It’s like something we always knew yet managed not to know, or at least not to think about too much. I laugh about it, a bit nervously, with my girlfriend all the time.

Would you say that women are naturally even less monogamous than men?

DB: This is a complex question. Start with the likelihood that, innately, women’s sexuality is just as promiscuous as men’s. Add onto that the cultural constraints that are still placed upon women’s desire, even in our seemingly unrestrained society, and the effect this has on the brain. The result may well be that, when it comes to sex, monogamy is even more of a problem for women than for men. A quick lesson in the neurology of lust is needed to understand why. I hope that the book lays this out in an interesting way.

We’re big fans of Esther Perel’s writing, and her notion that desire requires erotic distance in a couple. We’re guessing you’d say that this is equally true for women and men — that more intimacy and closeness can kill desire for women just as it does for men?

DB: Yes. In fact, I’d say that often our quests for unconditional love and for a “you complete me” level of closeness–longings that are entirely human–lead us farther and farther from eros, farther and farther from the passion we seek.

We love a good evo-psych take-down! Tell us how you think they compare to the Christian right…

DB: It’s funny. I didn’t set out to attack evolutionary psychology. But when I went back to read the academic papers that put forth the evo-psych idea that men are genetically programmed to be promiscuous while women, relatively speaking, are innately designed to seek out one good man, I found pages of circular logic and flimsy evidence. And then, though I’m sure not many evolutionary psychologists identify as evangelical Christians, the two groups have almost identical notions about the natural sexual modesty of girls and women. (I read a lot more evangelical health education material than I ever expected to.) Tellingly, the two groups are equally confident about this notion; they tend toward absolute certainty, which is usually a tip-off that something’s amiss.

We’ve been saying for years that women are visual creatures, just like men. So it seems that scientific studies have found this to be true?

DB: You’ve got it right. And here again, it was so nice for we men to believe otherwise. Read the rest of this entry »



How to Make Your Sexual Fantasy Come True

July 30, 2013

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photo via flickr

Last week we published two excerpts from Tracey Cox’s new book Dare: What Happens When Fantasies Come True, which is available now on Amazon for your Kindle. (Tracey’s Dare product range is also available at LoveHoney.) The first excerpt explained how fantasizing can improve your relationship, and the second was the hilarious/cringe-inducing/enlightening/still kind of hot tale about what happened when one woman made her mile-high fantasy come true. Today, Tracey offers up some advice about making your own sexual fantasy come true.

EM & LO: When you were researching women’s fantasies for this book, what was the most common fantasy that you kept seeing?

TRACEY COX: Sleeping with another woman was by far the most common. And it’s one of the fantasies that had a higher success rate when women take it through to reality. People assume women sleep with other women because it’s something men want them to do, but it’s something a lot of women are open to anyway.

What is the most common fantasy that women would actually want to come true?

TC: Experimenting with another woman, followed closely by sleeping with a stranger. That was another strong theme. It’s a myth that it’s only men who want variety and new flesh. Women do, too. What stops us is we’re more inclined to think things through — and if the relationship is good, lots of women decide the risk of following through and cheating outweighs the benefits. The desire is there though. Definitely!

What are some of the pros and cons about making a fantasy come true?

TC: Any fantasy that involves another body in the bed and a couple who love each other tends to be fraught with danger, because everyone thinks they can separate sex from love and won’t feel jealous or possessive. But when faced with reality, it all goes out the window. Fantasies that don’t involve other people work quite well for couples though. Role-play, tie up, spanking, sex in public — stuff like that works a treat.

What are some tips you can share about making a fantasy come true?

TC: Talk it through — every possible scenario and detail needs to be covered. Have a safe word and always remember your relationship is more important than the experience. Sometimes just knowing your partner would give it a try is exciting enough, and role-playing it is as far as you decide to go.

Dare: What Happens When Fantasies Come True by Tracey Cox is on sale now! And her toys are available at LoveHoney

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We Joined the Mile-High Club…And Got Caught

July 26, 2013

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Earlier this week we published an excerpt from Tracey Cox’s awesome new book, Dare: What Happens When Fantasies Come True, which is available now on Amazon for your Kindle. The excerpt explains how and why fantasizing can improve your sex life. Today, in a second excerpt from the book, a British woman named Madison (you’ll notice some fun U.K. slang!) who is 24 and works in sales, shares her ultimate fantasy… and what happened when she tried to make it come true!

THE FANTASY

I’m traveling with a work colleague who I have always lusted after. We’re both single and we travel together a lot for business. We get on really well but I’ve never been able to tell if he fancies me or just likes me as a friend. The night before our flight, we were up late schmoozing clients, so we’re both a bit hungover and in silly moods. He looks even hotter than usual because he hasn’t shaved and I love the stubble – his jaw line is square and the stubble just accentuates it. He’s got long, dark eyelashes and gorgeous blue eyes, and every time we work together half of me works while the other fantasizes about the two of us getting it on. We both line up to board the plane and are delighted to find we’ve been bumped up from Business to First-Class. It’s an eight-hour flight and we’re both looking forward to having a glass of wine and then passing out on the flat beds. We settle in, chat a bit, then both start watching movies while enjoying our wine.

In First-Class, there are about a zillion films to choose from and I end up watching an old movie: 8 Mile starring Eminem and Brittany Murphy. There’s an incredibly hot sex scene in it that’s explicit and looks really real, like they’re really having sex, not just acting for the cameras. The combination of the hangover (I’m always up for sex the day after drinking), the wine, the sexy luxury of being in First and my hot colleague sitting next to me, makes me feel really turned on. I surreptitiously play the same sex scene over and over, rewinding and replaying. My colleague is blissfully unaware of my high state of excitement because I’ve angled the screen so he can’t see what I’m watching. (Well, that’s what I think, anyway!) Eventually, I get to the point where I’m desperate for release and it just so happens, I have a small bullet vibrator in my hand luggage. I discreetly get it out of my bag, pocket it and get up out of my seat, smiling at my friend and pointing to the loo to explain where I’m going. He looks at me intently and we lock eyes. I flush. For a moment, it feels like he’s reading my mind and knows exactly what I’m going to the loo to do . . . Read the rest of this entry »



New Book & Exhibition: The Polaroid Years

July 25, 2013

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Robert Heinecken
Hustler Blind Beaver Hunt, 1979
Eight Polaroid SX-70 prints with offset lithography
© Robert Heinecken Trust

 

Our friend, Mary-Kay Lombino, curator at the Frances Lehman Loeb Art Center at Vassar College, spent the past five years putting together the excellent exhibition and companion art book, “THE POLAROID YEARS: Instant Photography and Experimentation.”

Before Polaroids went the way of the dinosaurs, we used to recommend them as the ideal medium for saucy couples who wanted to experiment with taking naughty pics together (hey, no negatives or digital files!). So we were not surprised to find a bunch of nudes when Mary gave us a tour of the show. Of course, she and her colleagues have a much more erudite analysis of the art form: in Peter Buse’s essay “The Perversity of Polaroid” that opens Mary-Kay’s book, he writes:

It is something of an open secret that Polaroid, by eliminating the dark room and taking the professional photo-finisher out of the equation, turned countless of its users into amateur pornographer or erotic artists. Not only did Polaroid lift a basic inhibition, it added an extra dimension to the privately made erotic image, and one whose charge was increased by appearing in the very scene in which it was made….

Lucas Samaras declared: “I was my own Peeping Tom” and gives a frank confession about the primal scene of his Photo-Transformation series:

“I came home and I took my clothes off and it was wonderful. I never had such a wonderful experience with a camera or photography before. It was like finding some fantastic lover, and you were unworthy, but you were glad that this ethereal creature was paying you a visit.”

Below are a few excerpts from the exhibition. It’s no longer up at Vassar, but the show will be traveling to the Mary and Leigh Block Museum of Art at Northwestern University in Chicago from September 20th, 2013 through December 1st, 2013, after which it will move on to the Norton Museum of Art in West Palm Beach from December 19th, 2013 through March 23rd, 2014.  Definitely check it out if you can. And consider “The Polaroid Years” as a gift for any photographers, nudists, art collectors or adventurous couples in your life!


Lucas Samaras
AutoPolaroid, 1971
Polaroid with hand-applied ink
© Lucas Samaras

 


Les Krims
Bubble Gum Test, 1974
Polaroid SX-70 print
© Les Krims

 


John Coplans
Untitled, 1997
Polaroid Type 55 print
© The John Coplans Trust

 


Jack Butler
#1, 1978, from Sex-70 series
Polaroid SX-70 print
© Jack Butler

 


Lucas Samaras
AutoPolaroid, 1971
Polaroid with hand-applied ink
© Lucas Samaras

 


Les Krims
Roses, Gestural Stripes, 1974
Polaroid SX-70 print
© Les Krims

 

from “THE POLAROID YEARS: Instant Photography and Experimentation” (Prestel) by Mary-Kay Lombino, with Peter Buse

 



How Fantasizing Can Improve Your Sex Life

July 23, 2013

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Tracey Cox author photo by Daniel Annett

The fabulous and funny Tracey Cox from the U.K. is one of our favorite sex writers out there. We’re thrilled to present the following excerpt from her new book, Dare: What Happens When Fantasies Come True, which is available now on Amazon for your Kindle. Tracey’s Dare product range is also available at LoveHoney. Check back in on Friday for a hilarious (and educational!) example from the book about what happened when a real couple tried to make the woman’s mile-high fantasy come true.

Why Do We Fantasize?

Think of your fantasies as a vibrator for the mind. There are a finite number of possible physical combinations of what we can do with our bodies, but our minds are limitless. Your imagination is the single, most potent engine driving sexual desire. Tap into your imagination and you’ve turned on nature’s built-in aphrodisiac. Fantasies are what keep sex fizzy when your sex life – or your partner – goes temporarily pear-shaped. They’re what can make sex with someone we’ve slept with hundreds of times seem not only remotely appealing but exciting. One of the quickest
ways to arouse yourself is to fantasize. Even better, fantasies are a form of foreplay we can access in an instant – anywhere, any time – because we carry them with us always.

Some fantasies are fleeting. Others start off small then develop over time into rich, complex formats. Often they’ll start the same or feature the same characters but have different endings, designed to suit the mood we’re in. They generally last as long as it takes us to orgasm and we become adept at timing them so the climax happens when we do. Just like sexual positions, most of us have three or four favorite fantasies we return to time and time again.

Our fantasies tend not to change in theme terribly much, though women’s tend to be more involved than men’s are. Women read more, are generally more imaginative and need more varied stimulation to arouse them. Our fantasies almost always have a plot. There is scene setting, character development, a narrative arc . . . Men go for instant action. They fast forward straight to the naughty bits – often sliding straight into bits in graphic detail. They’ll often have one simple image rather than a ‘video’ – usually of someone they could pull in real life.

This is why amateur porn sites and live webcams with ‘normal’ looking girls are so popular with men. They like to think they’ve got a chance of the sex actually happening. Women, on the other hand, have no problems picturing Bradley Cooper frothing at the mouth for the chance to slide a hand up our skirts. It’s one of the few times we allow our egos to run rampant and our self-esteem to soar! Read the rest of this entry »



Retro Sex Advice of the Week

July 16, 2013

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Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask) by David R. Reuben, M.D., is the most popular book on human sexuality of all time — but until now, we’d only ever read the thirtieth anniversary edition, which was released in 1999. And then yesterday, a friend presented us with a dusty old book she’d found in an long-lost storage locker, thinking we’d get a kick out of it — it’s the original 1969 (heh) edition. We love the musty smell of old books — but in this case, much of the advice is equally musty (and less lovable). But we’re going to take a glass-half-full approach today, and simply celebrate how far we — at least, most of us — have come. Take the following quote, which we found when we opened the book at random:

Why do so many homosexual expressions refer to food?

Food seems to have a mysterious fascination for homosexuals. Many of the world’s greatest chefs have been homosexuals. Some of the country’s best restaurants are run by homosexuals. Some of the fattest people are homosexuals.

The exact reason is complex but clearly food overshadows much of homosexual behavior. Aside from using their mouths as a principal sex organ, food plays another role in their sexual lives.

SInce Nature apparently did not anticipate homosexuality, the male has not been equipped with glands to secrete a sexual lubricant. Thus the first problem that two gay guys have to solve before making love is lubrication. Many homosexuals favor cooking grease. Salad oil and margarine are commonly used. Among gourmets, butter and olive oil are preferred. But it doesn’t stop there.

Most homosexuals find their man-to-man sex unfulfilling so they masturbate a lot. Much of their masturbation centers around the anus. The question, of course, is what to use for a penis. The answer is often found in the pantry. Carrots and cucumbers are pressed into service. Forced into the anus, lubricated with vegetable oil, they give homosexuals what they seek.

Egg white is also considered a good lubricant. Sometimes the whole egg in the shell finds itself where it doesn’t belong. Sausages, especially the milder varieties, are also popular.

The homosexual who prefers to use his penis must find an anus. Many look in the refrigerator. The most common masturbatory object for this purpose is a melon. Cantaloupes are usual, but where it is available, papaya is popular.

Oh man, we don’t even know where to start. We are beyond stunned that a book containing the line “Some of the fattest people are homosexuals” made it into print. And that thing about the papaya, “where it is available”? We have no words. Here’s hoping that, thirty years from now, we’ll be equally stunned at the advances we’ve made when it comes to gay rights and respect.

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Top 5 Works of Dirty Literature You Can Read in Public

July 11, 2013

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We’d never be caught dead reading Fifty Shades of Grey – let alone well-written erotica — in public. There’s just something unseemly about it, like PDA with too much tongue. But there are plenty of books that can satisfy your craving for smut while making you appear erudite to your neighbors on the beach or the subway.


Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller
The original edition of the book, published in France in 1934, was banned here in the U.S. for its sexual explicitness. Not until 1961 did we get a U.S. version — and that led to obscenity trials going all the way to the Supreme Court, which declared it non-obscene in 1964, a whopping thirty years after its publication. Be warned: it will probably offend your modern sensibilities with its misogyny. (And if it doesn’t, then there’s probably something wrong with you.)

 


Lady Chatterly’s Lover by D.H. Lawrence

For a more female-positive sex book from the same era, check out this 1928 classic, which was also banned for a time. It elevates sex as something sacred and soul-saving. If Lawrence were alive today, he’d totally be into Tantra.

 

 

 

 

 


Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

Some people have called this 1955 classic an “erotic novel.” But don’t get too excited. It’s dirty in what it doesn’t show. Its rightness is in its darkly funny wrongness. This is, after all, at its most basic, the story of a hebephile. One you’ll love to hate.

 

 

 

 

 

 


Collected Poems 1947-1997 by Allen Ginsberg

Ginsberg’s openness about his homosexuality didn’t just make him controversial, it made him politically significant during the second half of the 20th century. Just go straight to “Please Master” to see just how open he could be. It’s an ode to BDSM that proves the dirtiest sex requires love.

 

 

 

 


The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer

Promiscuity, sexual manipulation, adultery, public sex, deflowerings, and, of course, rimming. And this collection of stories was a 14th century bestseller! Do yourself a favor and get a version written in modern English (otherwise, some of the tasteless dirty jokes might get lost in the Middle English).

 

 

 

 

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Kinky Poem of the Week: The World’s Guide to Beginning

July 8, 2013

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You may recall that a month or so back, we were in New York City to receive an IPPY Award for our latest book, 150 Shades of Play: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink. While there, we met  Marty McConnell, silver medalist in the poetry category for her collection Wine for a Shotgun. When the poetry winners were each asked to perform a poem, we braced ourselves for the kind of spoken word poetry slam stuff typically found in grad school basement coffee shops. But Marty’s poem blew us away.

After asking the crowd, “We’re all adults here, right?” she recited the last poem in her collection — an ode to the body and all the kinky things you can do with it — with the perfect blend of performance and restraint. And now, Marty has kindly agreed to let us post the entire poem here so you can enjoy it, too (be sure to check out her video performance of it above, too!):

The World’s Guide to Beginning by Marty McConnell

I was born in the obscene genius
of the club. I was a chemical
hero. Slick as a greasy encyclopedia,
I strutted like a bullfighter. I learned kink

is another word for survival. learned to love
the body more for what it can do
than for what it is. how did you get this far
without knowing lust is disaster’s

good cousin, what flickers when the rest
has been burned down and blown
away? there will be a quiz.

here’s another story: I was born.
I was adored. I am in charge. I need you
to tie me down, now. call it love,
this intimate vine. this gift

of the mother. gift of the neighbor,
the uncle, gift of the whip. the dildo.
lying was my first language. I am not

ashamed. touch is not reversible. one
cannot be un-touched. are you
uncomfortable? good. then it’s begun.

go ahead and cry. to break
is to be sanctified. to find in the body
a safehouse where all your monsters
get to be raucous, bring the audience

to their feet calling what. what.
dig at the shame places. your gutter
of a cunt. your crowbar of a cock.
say the words, say fuck and wheelbarrow

and voluptuary until it all sounds
like amen, amen, amen, amen, amen,
amen, amen, amen. why despise

your own wiring? it was desire
that made you; however twisted
the originating bed, your beginning

was ferocious. quiz: what’s the difference
between a lie and a myth. answer:
the storyteller’s intention. example: I
am more bear than fruit. more leather

than lion. legend says I opened my mouth
and the world rolled out. the brine
of saliva, browbone splitting into branch,
to root. and from the cheeks, the sweetest

meat, the man, the woman, the lost
androgynous other. example: in our myth, Atlas
is a hermaphrodite. a dancer. bearded lady

in a g-string in a cage above the dance floor.
fact: there are gods who love us,
and they want us to fuck. have I earned

another story? to emerge, a world
must learn itself, then flood,
then burn. unfurl your ugly
like fists inside another’s

body. step into a skin familiar
as your mother’s bed, and
as spurned. something in you
stands up. it is like light,

or a crime. it is alive.
your turn.

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Awesome New Book: “What Makes A Baby”

June 12, 2013

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One of our favorite sex educators, Cory Silverberg, just came out with a new children’s book called “WHAT MAKES A BABY: A Book for Every Kind of Family and Every Kind of Kid.” It’s brightly illustrated, awesomely inclusive, and very, very sweet. Plus, it makes the perfect gift for families with little ones (or little ones on the way)! Cory says it’s intended for kids 4 and up — of course, we read it to our 2 year olds. They ate it up…literally. Cory, we’re going to need another copy without drool on it!

EM & LO: Your average reader might wonder why you chose to be vague about who has eggs and a uterus and who has sperm — for example, you write “Every body that has a uterus always has it in the same place…” without ever mentioning the word “woman.”  Can you explain?

CORY: I guess the simple answer is that I wanted a more honest book.  It’s just not true to say that every woman has a uterus. Most women have a uterus.  But not every woman does. And for that matter, not every woman who has a uterus has one that either can or will be home to a growing fetus at some point in their lives.

As a sex educator who works mostly with adults I see every day the effect that sex education has on adult sexuality, and it isn’t all positive.  When we teach children at the youngest ages that being a woman means having a uterus and eggs and being a man means having a penis and sperm, it may seem like a small thing but actually it’s a message that goes deep into our psyche.  And later on, for those of us who want kids and try to make them and find that our bodies won’t co-operate, it can feel like an enormous betrayal.

So that’s one reason.  Another more specific reason is that I wanted a book that would work for every kind of person.  I was particularly thinking of all the transgender, transsexual, and gender non-conforming parents I know whose bodies simply don’t fit that narrow story most books tell.  Some women’s bodies don’t have a uterus because the weren’t born with one.  That doesn’t make them any less a woman or any less a mother.  I feel like we all deserve books that reflect our experience, and that’s how I wrote What Makes a Baby.

If you cover the different ways babies can be born (vaginally, cesarian), why not cover the different ways they can be made (intercourse, IVF, etc)?

That will be in book 2!  What Makes a Baby is the first of a series of three books, but it’s written for the youngest age group, children as young as 4.  Little children tend not to be very good at sitting still for a long laundry list of things.  There’s a reason picture books usually follow a standard format and length;  it works!  I wanted a book that wasn’t just a text book for kids, or a check list of what kids MUST know, I wanted a book that kids and parents would want to read. And when it comes to young children that means being spare with words and information and letting the meaning and hopefully a bit of poetry flow.

The truth is that there are so many variations on how we’re making babies (at least in terms of getting the sperm and egg together, and then getting them to a uterus) that to do it properly would have meant a lot more pages.  So we made the decision to save that for the next book which will be about three times as long and be geared to older children.

You’re so careful about terminology, so why did you decide to refer to the embryo and fetus as a baby (“But before a baby can be born it has to get bigger, and bigger, and BIGGER” next to pictures of the various stages of gestation starting with 2 weeks)…?

This was one of those things I struggled with for a long time.  When I’m working as an educator and teaching live, I use the terms embryo and fetus (and sometimes zygote, which usually gets a few laughs). In a book you don’t get a chance to explain or talk around words, you just have the word on the page.  And in a picture book the language has to serve many functions.  It has to convey meaning of course, but it also has to be fun to read out loud, it has to have the feeling you want to convey.  Ultimately the words embryo and fetus just didn’t do it for me.  So it was a creative decision not a pedagogical or political one.  Of course it has political implications.  Some people feel very strongly that a baby isn’t a baby until it’s born.  Others think that a baby is a baby sometime after conception.  Others think that it’s a baby at the point of conception.  I’m not ignorant of these debates, and originally I used both embryo an fetus as they reflect my own understanding.  My hope is that I have left enough space in the story for parents to share their own beliefs and values around this question.

“Some babies are born by coming out through a part of the body that most people call the vagina.” Why not just say “…a part of the body that’s called the vagina”, since that is precise and accurate? And what are your thoughts about parents using euphemisms for genitals?

Language is language, and it doesn’t become any more or less important when we’re using it to describe our bodies than it does when we’re using it to describe our feelings, or a book we read or our favorite toy.  I think kids should know all kinds of words for different body parts including genitals.  So I wouldn’t say that people should never use euphemisms for genitals, but I would say that kids should know the terms that doctors and health care providers use in addition to whatever words a family might use.  I think euphemisms can be a problem if they are really about embarrassment or shame.  But sometimes we use words because we like the way they sound and feel, and I’m not sure why we need to police parents and families in that way.

Why did I write “most people call the vagina”?  Again, because I think it’s more honest.  Not every one calls that part of the body the vagina.  Most people do, but not everyone does.  So why not just say that?  It opens up the opportunity for a conversation about language and doesn’t foreclose options for the readers.

This language also has particular meaning and importance for Trans* dads, who have given birth but who often don’t use the word vagina to describe that part of their bodies.  So many of us have the experience of having to change words in books while we read them to kids so that they reflect our experience.  I wanted a book that would require the least amount of re-writing, and using this phrase makes it a little more real for a few more people.

Have you gotten any criticisms or hate mail from anyone? We’d guess if you’ve gotten any, it would be from the religious “family values” anti-gay crowd.

Yes I have.  It started when I launched my Kickstarter.  There were a few posts (one was on Glen Beck’s website The Blaze) and they seemed to suggest I was destroying families with my book.  There have been a few more articles – as you guessed – from conservative and generally homophobic organizations, since the book came out.  I’m glad when my work makes people think and starts conversations, but unfortunately in each of these cases, as far as I can tell, the people writing have not actually read my book and don’t seem to be interested in having a conversation as much as using my book as an occasion to spout the same narrow minded often hateful perspective they usually take.

“What Makes a Baby” is on sale now on Amazon.com!

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“150 Shades of Play” at the IPPY Awards!

May 30, 2013

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Last night, we attended the IPPY Awards ceremony in NYC to receive our silver medals for all-around awesomeness in an independently-published sex & relationship book.150 SHADES OF PLAY: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink is now an award-winner!

While sipping our complimentary cocktails (yay, open bar!), nibbling the mediocre passed apps (free food, eh), listening to all the award announcements (there were over 100 categories!), and waiting for our 10-second turn in the spotlight, we made friends with the gold medalists in the Humor category. Husband-and-wife team Dr. Ted Eisenberg & Joyce K. Eisenberg penned The Scoop on Breasts: A Plastic Surgeon Busts the Myths. As the world-record
holder for most breast augmentations, Ted supplied the info; Joyce supplied the jokes (guess you have to have a sense of humor when you’re married to a man who’s up to his elbows in boobs all day). We’re no big fans of fake tatas, but we must say The Scoop is really nicely designed. And they win for best award photo of the night: each of them held the cleavage-festooned cover up to their chests.

When the winners in the Poetry category were announced, they were each asked to read a poem from their collections. Admittedly, we braced ourselves for major cringing. But Marty McConnell, silver medalist for Wine for a Shotgun, made us poetry converts. After asking the crowd “We’re all adults here, right?” she recited the last poem in her collection — an ode to the body and all the kinky things you can do with it — with the perfect blend of performance and restraint. Stay tuned for an excerpt of it on our site soon!

We forgot to bring a copy of our own book to hold up for our award picture, so we accosted the winners of the Outstanding E-Book Achievement Award who hadtheir book (which is actually an app) on an iPad. Peering over their shoulders before pouncing, we got a good look at Psychometry, a super cool interactive digital collection of photographs by Carol Golemboski. She and her designer kindly let us pull up a picture of our book cover and borrow the iPad for our photo.

All evening we were looking for the telltale ponytail of the co-author of Great Sex Made Simple, the Tantra book that edged us out for the gold in Sex & Relationships (damn you, Tantra!). But we didn’t meet Mark A. Michaels and his partner Patricia Johnson until our category was announced — which of course was the 69th category of the night. Talk about a long-time coming! (Bud dum ching! Speaking of which, we would be remiss in our duties if we didn’t also mention the gold medalist in the Erotica category, The Harder She Comes by D.L. King)

After our award photos were taken (which, in usual fashion, we tried to ham up as much as possible), the gold medal winners Mark & Patricia generously gave us a copy of their book Great Sex (which we’ll also excerpt on this site soon). You can tell from this gesture (and the photos in their book), they’re very giving in all areas of life.

So stayed tuned for the fruits of our networking. And don’t forget to get your copy of our AWARD-WINNING BOOK!