To quote Woody Allen, “Pizza is a lot like sex. When it’s good, it’s really good. When it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.” Writer John Banville (he won the Booker Prize for his awesomely beautiful and lyrical novel The Sea back in 2005) would agree. And he goes one step further, saying that because of this, it’s impossible to write well about sex. Meaning: because men, at least, tend to enjoy most sex, no matter how bad it is, there is this inherent disconnect: they can’t write about it because they have no idea what just happened. Was it good, was it bad, was it the same-old-thing, was it earth-shattering? All they know is that they had an orgasm and it felt pretty cool. And as Tolstoy didn’t really say, good sex is all alike; all bad sex is bad in its own way. The latter is worth reading about; the former is just bad erotica.

“I am never quite sure what bad sex is,” Banville said in an interview with the U.K. newspaper The Telegraph. “I am not sure I that have ever any bad sex. It has always seemed to me wonderful. I always felt incredibly lucky that a woman would consent to engage with me in this extraordinary act.” He goes onto say, “What people feel they are doing is so discontinuous with what they are actually doing… The spectacle of sex is never very dignified, but when you are engaged in it it seems transcendently sublime.” Okay, so maybe the man can’t write sex scenes, but clearly he’s pretty freakin’ eloquent on the topic of sex! Man, we wish he’d at least try to write about sex.

So what do you think: Do women write better sex scenes than men? Does bad sex make for better writing than good sex? And what are some of your favorite sex scenes in literature?

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Model Anja Rubik’s new editorial endeavor just launched: 25 Magazine is a high-end fashion magazine, out biannually, that’s dedicated to the erotic perspective of women. In an interview with New York magazine, Rubik explained the sex concept:

It was bothering me how the world is nowadays – how we approach nudity and sexuality and beauty. I thought it was really, really wrong, and I wanted to create something that goes back to the erotica of the seventies. I was searching for inspiration, and I looked at this magazine Viva, from the late sixties and early seventies, that inspired me. It was a Penthouse publication for women. I thought it was so beautiful and innocent, and very sensual and erotic, but all in very good taste. What happened to all of that? Nowadays, sex and nudity is either so vulgar or so prude. So I wanted to create something inspiring, and beautiful, and sensual, to get people to think in a different way.

The debut was shot exclusively by female photographers: Annie Leibovitz, Ellen Von Unwerth, Paola Kudacki, Emma Summerton, Corinne Day, Camilla Åkrans… But don’t you dare call it feminist: Rubik says “I would hate anyone to say that the magazine is feminist. I would hope that a man can enjoy it as well.” Because anything “feminist” could never be enjoyed by men. Ugh.

The website features a few video teasers for the magazine, some behind the scenes images and the NSFW Kanye West video promoting the magazine, which sex-tech guru Violet Blue has a pretty awesome take-down of:

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This may be sacrilege to say, but we can’t seem to muster any interest in reading the new, best-selling erotica novel that everyone’s talking about, Fifty Shades of Grey. After all, even the author admits that it’s not that good! For SM erotica, we’d rather stick with a classic like Story of O. Yeah, yeah, we get that Fifty Shades is “mommy porn” for grown women who wished that the Twilight novels were just a little dirtier (hi, we’re your target audience) but maybe we don’t want to read something that has garnered a reputation as mommy porn. That all said, what we are fascinated by are the kind of conversations that this new novel is inspiring:

• Katie Roiphe, writing in Newsweek magazine, claims that spanking (including this novel) is suddenly mainstream because women can’t handle all the equality and money and power in the workplace that is suddenly coming their way.
• The Frisky says that Roiphe understands neither feminism nor BDSM if she thinks that.
• A male reviewer at the New York Daily News says that the book “manages, miraculously, to be at once pornographic and deeply unappealing to men – it is a kind of pornography that attracts only women.” And this, he writes, “is exactly why this book matters.”
• Okay, so this news blooper has absolutely nothing to do with Fifty Shades of Grey, but it has everything to do with spanking — a major theme of the novel — and how the subject turns so many adults (especially Fox News anchors) into giggly, awkward, embarrassed teens.

Lolita, such a great book. So deserving of a great cover. One blogger held a contest. Now it’s being turned into a book, with designs from both contest entrants and solicited pieces by well-known designers.

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The other night, we went to the book launch party for the new sex manual, “Great in Bed,” at the SoHo Babeland in NYC. It had been years since we’d seen our old friend and former coworker, Grant Stoddard, but he was his typical funny, charming self as he and his co-author – Kinsey sex researcher Debby Herbenick, PhD – answered questions from the anonymous drop-box…for an hour and a half. Fortunately, there was champagne:

Q: “Grant, where do men like to be touched?”
A: [coyly] “Penis?”

Q: ”Grant, would you share with us the exact dimensions of your penis?”
A: ”I refer you back to our earlier discussion of average penis size. I am well within the normal parameters. If you include other cultures. Smaller cultures.”

Q: ”Grant, what has shocked you most in your career in the biz?”
A: ”When I learned about dolphin rape. Multiple people every year in the San Francisco Bay area die from being raped by dolphins in shallow waters because dolphins have these massive penises shaped like question marks and are very aggressive. It’s true, just Google it!”*
Dr. Debby: “I’m not so sure about that.”

The dynamic between them at the Q&A perfectly reflected their collaboration in the book. She brings the statistics, he brings the sexploits — which makes for a fun, informative read. As two co-authors ourselves who’ve written six sex books, even we learned some new things:

• Once people move past their teens and early 20s, they become decidedly less smart about condom use (one study found that only half of men in their 20s and 30s who’d recently had vaginal intercourse with a casual partner said they’d used a condom!).
• 95% of men have penises in the average (5 to 7 inches when erect) range.
• Seminal plasma contains zinc, calcium and other minerals shown to hinder tooth decay.
• The retro bush, aka hipster bush, has been making a comeback.

And that was just in the first few pages! Aside from the evo psych and the talk of foreplay as something separate from sex and the absence of sex toy material safety (tsk tsk Grant), “Great in Bed” sounds exactly like something we would write — which, of course, means we loved it! It’s fun, comprehensive, the design is cool and non-graphic. It’s a great addition to your sexual enlightenment library (after you’ve collected our six books first, of course).

*When we got home, we Googled it . . . twice.

photo via Flickr

A few weeks back we jumped on the Twitter hashtag #lessambitiousbooks bandwagon, with a list of our Top 10 Less Ambitious Sex Books (The Joy of Dry Humping, Slight Hangup About Flying, etc.). This time around we figured we’d create our own damn hashtag — #dirtierbooks — so that nobody could accuse us of being late to the game. The trick with #dirtierbooks is to be clever without sounding like a cheesy porno (The Da Vinci Load, A Tale of Two Titties, et al). Below are our top 10 best attempts. So, er, anyone want to jump on our bandwagon? (That came out dirtier than we meant it.)

1. Who Moved My Cucumber?
2. Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret — I’m About to Masturbate and I Don’t Want You Watching
3. The Masochistic Tree
4. The Lord of the Cock Rings (okay, we admit that one’s walking the porno line)
5. Wife-Swapping on Tuesdays with Morrie
6. The Girl Who Played Without a Safe Word
7. A Room with a View of the Neighbors’ Bedroom
8. Oh, the Orifices You’ll Go!
9. Bi-Curious George
10. Men Are From Mars, Women Want to Do Them With Strap-Ons

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Stop the presses! A detergent commercial with just a normal dad doing laundry.

For our book club, we’re reading the 2003 novel “We Need to Talk About Kevin” by Lionel Shriver.* I, Lo, knowing nothing about the book or its author, began reading and was amazed that a male author could create a female narrator that sounded so authentic and convincing, especially regarding childbirth and motherhood. That is, until halfway through the book when I happened to catch a glimpse of the author photo on the inside back flap: turns out Lionel is a woman.

I must say, after my initial surprise, I really wasn’t surprised — after all, how could a man have captured the mental cog work of such a complicated female character? But then there was a part of me that was a little disappointed — both in the fact that Lionel wasn’t a man, and in the fact that I was so quick to dismiss a dude’s ability to get in touch with his feminine side. It would have been kind of cool to have my expectations challenged, especially as someone who’s always raging against gender stereotyping.

I didn’t have to wait long: flipping through last week’s Time I came across this article: “A Few Good Men: Work It is a drag, but TV does right by guys elsewhere” (you have to have a subscription to read the whole article). It comes straight out and calls the new men-in-drag show sexist: “The concept — men do man work, and ladies do lady work! — feels bogus at a time when some of TV’s best male characters are taking on different roles at home and work, without (literally) shedding their pants.” The review goes on to …

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* Cannot wait for the movie starring Tilda Swinton!

photo via Flickr

Kickstarter.com is a funding platform for music, film, art, technology, design, food, publishing and other creative projects. If a project doesn’t reach its stated funding goal before time runs out, no money changes hands. One art project that just met its $2000 goal before its closing date this coming Saturday thanks to over 100 backers is “Fucking James Franco,” a collection of erotic fantasies about the art world’s golden boy (read: annoying dude) “that the world desperately needs” produced by Portland-based Social Malpractice Publishingand Container Corps Art Press…

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photo via flickr

Some people worry that technology is hindering human communication, creating more distance in relationships, but we think When Parents Text is evidence to the contrary,” write co-authors Lauren Kaelin and Sophia Fraioli about their new book. And we think they’re right — amongst the ALL CAPS and multiple exclamation points and weird over-sharing and awkward attempts at using emoticons, there’s a real sweetness in the excerpted real-life texts in this book. So the next time you get a crushing text rejection from your booty call or an annoying vague text plan from your frenemy, just text your mom and dad and wait to see what they come out with. If it’s really funny, feel free to show us.

Here are some of the conversations in When Parents Text that tickled us:

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On July 31st we got a press release about “29 Days of August,” a “digital novella of appetites” meant to be read throughout the month of August on “the social networks you already use.” Here’s the scoop:

Designed as an accompaniment to the languid, over-heated days of summer, “29 Days of August” follows the adventures of two lovers as they travel in a vintage Porsche 914 through Europe and steal a painting that captured the imagination of 19th century luminaries from Oscar Wilde to Sarah Bernhardt. This couple lives by two simple rules. First, hide nothing—share with radical transparency each moment, each caress. Second, never utter a word about the past—no names, no history, no baggage.

Taking queues from serialized classics such as One Thousand and One Nights, but unlike anything that has come until now in the digital age, 29 Days of August is customized to the reading habits of a wired, mobile world. Broken into 29 bite-size installments, delivered every day at 2 PM EST, from August 1st to the 29th of 2011, the story of this couple’s sexual, aesthetic and gustatory passions will unfold online across all the major digital venues where consumers are already reading. Simply ‘like’ 29 Days of August on Facebook or ‘follow’ it on Twitter and each episode of the story will be delivered to your feed.

Stylistically, the piece is written to respect the most technically limited of online platforms: Twitter. Each paragraph is reduced to the breathless, fractured format of this medium’s 140 character bursts. However, a custom, “flood_stream” algorithm has been developed that will allow posts to be displayed chronologically as multiple tweets, thereby filling a reader’s feed each day with a more lengthy sensual interlude. 29 Days of August is embedded within the fabric of social networks but exists at a slower, vacation-oriented velocity, asking to be relished leisurely through the course of a month.

But we still had some questions, so we asked ORO…

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