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Top 10 Celebrities with Awesome Porn Names

March 8, 2012


A recent article in Salon about trends in porn names (disturbingly, there is apparently a “direct correlation between trendy baby names and porn stars‚Äô names”) got us thinking about celebrities whose names are perfectly designed for a post-career-slump porno. Here are our top 10 favorite male and female celebrities with porn names:

  1. Tiffani-Amber Thiessen (she even spells Tiffani with an i!)
  2. Tiffani Thiessen (sorry, Tiff, but your new “grownup” moniker is barely less porny than the original)
  3. Britney Spears
  4. Scarlett Johansson
  5. Megan Fox
  6. Demi Moore (the “classy” porn star name)
  7. Lisa Bonet
  8. Evangeline Lilly (the “sophisticated” porn star name)
  9. Angelina Jolie
  10. Courteney Cox

Read the men’s Top 10 list at SUNfiltered

The Oscars: If the Academy Weren’t So Afraid of Sex

February 27, 2012


photo via Flickr

When the Oscars primarily entail being lectured by a bunch of narcissistic celebrities about how awesome and important their jobs are, when the highlight is Sacha Baron Cohen spilling the Bisquick ashes of Kim Jong Il all over “Bryan” Seacrest’s $1000 suit on the red carpet, and when the most scandalous moment of the night revolves around determining whether J. Lo is accidentally (or purposely?) showing areola or not, then you know you’ve got to make things a little more interesting. Here’s how: imagine what movies would have won if the Academy wasn’t so afraid of sex:

Best Supporting Actress: Melissa McCarthy –¬†for her portrayal of¬†unbridled, uninhibited, unapologetic sexuality outside the strict boundaries of “ideal” femininity.

Best Documentary: PINA –¬†for their shirtless, muscular, sweaty dancing, aw yeah.

Best Animation:¬†CHICO & RICO –¬†When there’s kissing in the sample footage, there’s little doubt which is the sexiest animated film.

Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer –¬†They actually got it right.

Best Original Score: TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY –¬†It’s the only soundtrack you’d want to do it to. Okay, you wouldn’t actually want to do it to it. But it’s the only one that captures the drama of sex. Sort of.

Read the rest of this post, including Best Song, Best Actress and Best Oscar Moment, on SUNfiltered


Em & Lo’s 2011 hOtSCARS

February 24, 2012


photo of Oscar in a giant condom via Flickr

In honor of awards season, we have determined our own winners (and losers) when it comes to love, romance, sex and sexism in the movies of 2011. (Beware: there are some spoilers in the categories below.)

Most Awkward (i.e. Realistic) Sex Scene
Kristen Wiig and Jon Hamm in Bridesmaids

Best Depiction of Condom Use During Sex
No Strings Attached

Best Male Full Frontal
Michael Fassbender in Shame

Worst Male Full Frontal
The Hangover Part II

Best Sexual Harassment
Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids

Most Unrealistic Sexual Scenario
Rachel Evan Wood’s happy-go-lucky booty call¬†with one dude while preggers with another married man’s kid

Best Young Love
Like Crazy

Least Sexy Movie About Sex
A tie between Shame and A Dangerous Method, both starring Michael Fassbender (poor guy)

Most Anti-Climactic Sex Scene
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Yawn Part 1

Most Offensive Poster
The Change-Up

Least Deserving R-Rating
Beginners (while two hetero adults kissing is perfectly innocent, two gay adults kissing is apparently risque)

Best Merkin
Evan Rachel Wood in Mildred Pierce

Least Romantic Depiction of Paris Ever
Midnight in Paris

Gratuitous Nudity as “Art”

Best Crossdressing
Albert Knobbs

Worst Crossdressing
Jack and Jill

Best Gay Kiss
J. Edgar

Please-Make-It-Stop Ensemble Cast Rom Com
New Year’s Eve

Best Parody Tagline
The American version of¬†The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo¬†(“All the rape, no subtitles”)

Best Case for Contraception
We Need to Talk About Kevin

and finally

The Austin Powers Strategically Placed Cantaloupe Award
Crazy Stupid Love 


This post originally appeared on EdenFantasy

Our Go-To Comedian for Gay Rights, Women Lib & Proper Fisting Technique

February 6, 2012


We both enjoy playing Texas Hold ‘Em, but of the two of us, I (Lo) enjoy it a little too much. So much so that when I just need a night away from it all, I go to¬†Foxwoods¬†to play the low limit table with a bunch of 65 year old men, half of whom have a drinking problem, the other half of whom have a gambling problem. It’s not as sinful or sexy as Vegas, naturally, but it does the trick.

When I went this past weekend, I had the added delight of catching one of our favorite comedians at the casino’s comedy club:¬†Myq Kaplan. He was¬†a finalist on NBC’s “Last Comic Standing”¬†in 2010, he’s been on¬†all the major late-night shows¬†and¬†Comedy Central, and his latest CD was “one of iTunes‚Äô top ten best-selling comedy albums in 2010” (of course, that’s coming directly from his own website, so who knows — we’re going with it). The great thing about Kaplan is that his brand of comedy satisfies our inner liberal activists and our outer sex writers. And this past weekend’s set did not disappoint: he covered the stupidity of homophobia, the overrated-ness of anal sex, the correct technique for fisting, the inherent gayness of Genesis, sex-related Harry Potter puns, transgender issues, his openness to open relationships, and how the word “sexism” is too sexy for it’s own good. Sex themes + smarts + math jokes = swim fan! The fact that he’s a vegan is just a little liberal cherry on top.

So check him out! He’ll be at the West Bank Cafe’s¬†Laurie Beechman Theater in Time Square this Wednesday at 7pm¬†(see the Comic Diversity show) and you can¬†download his Vegan Mind Meld CD from iTunes¬†or¬†buy it from Amazon.

¬†‚Äʬ†This post¬†is a part of Sundance Channel‚Äôs¬†SUNfiltered Blog
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Did Mariah Carey Invent the Sexy Santa Look?

December 22, 2011

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Earlier this week on our site, we asked our Wise Guys what was up with the sexy Santa lingerie thing. Which naturally lead us to thinking about Mariah Carey, and how she basically owns the entire sexy Santa category, not to mention the sub-category of soft-core porn Santa. We know she didn’t exactly invent the look — scantily clad Santa’s helpers have been around for decades, and someone saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus years ago — but she’s made it her own again… and again… and again (Google-image-search “Sexy Mariah Santa” if you can handle even more).

Well, just in case anyone dared to think that the arrival of twin babies would cause Mariah to zip up her Santa suit to cover her cleavage, she recently unveiled — quite literally — her 2011 edition of Sexy Mariah Santa. This time around, it’s in a video for her remake of “All I Want For Christmas” with Justin Bieber. In the video, Mariah is apparently supposed to be a vintage animated Christmas card and Justin Bieber acts like he’s her awkward new stepson. She bumps and grinds against a wall while Bieber and his boy buddies push shopping carts around Macy’s looking for presents. Because when you find yourself alone in a Macy’s after hours with a Sexy Mariah Santa who could eat you for breakfast — you need backup, dudes.

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered

I Heart Kevin Smith

September 8, 2011


Lo here: Em has always been a Howard Stern fan. As a staunch, man-hating feminist, I never got on board. Too many sad strippers willing to be reduced to body parts for love and attention — at least in the K-Rock days. No, for provocative, foul-mouthed, sex-related audio content, I’ll take Kevin Smith’s¬†Hollywood Babble-On with Ralph Garman any day. Now they’re by no means above female objectification, but they believe in equal opportunity objectification. Take for example, their regular segment on Liam Neesson’s infamously large endowment (“Liam Neesson’s cock is so big….”). Smith will even admit on air to homoerotic urges without fear or shame (hello, Thor!). They do a show every week loosely arranged around all things entertainment-industry — so if you’re an US Weekly junkie like Em, you can get your celeb gossip AND your dick jokes all in one place!

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered

Weiner Doll Is a Whole Lot More Fun Than Ken

June 20, 2011


It was only a matter of time before the Anthony Weiner dolls went on sale — his weirdly hair-free chest is practically begging for a Ken doll version. Enter HeroBuilders.com, home of the Obama Rambama doll and the¬†Sarah Palin action figure, amongst others. They are currently selling two Weiner dolls, both clad in white gym clothes with “Tweet This” on the shorts. The $39.95 version is disappointingly G-rated under his pants, just like Ken and G.I. Joe. The adults only version, at $49.95, doesn’t leave the goods to your imagination.¬†”No one is buying the one without the penis,” said HeroBuilders President Emil Vicale.

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered

Beyonce, Who Run the World? Not Girls.

June 10, 2011

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Beyonce’s latest hit “Run the World” is a girl-power anthem, sort of: “Who run the world? Girls” over and over. Maybe it’s aspirational. Eh, probably not. We think this smart and harsh take by Vlogger “Nineteen Percent” is a better breakdown of the song: we don’t run the world, we do get disrespected, gypped at work, beat up, raped…. It’s a not-so-gentle reminder: let’s not get too complacent, ladies! There’s still much work to be done.

‚ÄĘ This post is a part of Sundance Channel‚Äôs Naked Love Blog
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Blocking a Sex Tape Is Like Getting Toothpaste Back in the Tube

June 9, 2011


J.Lo in wax via Flickr

We never thought we’d say this, but we feel kind of bad for Jennifer Lopez. Apparently she made a sex tape of sorts — there was no actual sex in it — with her ex-hubby on their honeymoon back in 1997, and now he’s shopping it around. J.Lo fought to stop him, but an L.A. judge recently ruled that she had no case against him. Which means he can now sell to the highest bidder. (Rumor has it that, in lieu of sex, you see him spanking her most famous asset.)¬†And sure, a celebrity making a sex tape and expecting it to stay private, what an idiot, right? But it’s not like this was some random drunken hookup. This was her husband. On their honeymoon.

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered

Loving Hating Gwenyth

January 19, 2011


We always knew Gwyneth Paltrow was kind of annoying, but we didn’t realize it was “official” until we read the recent Time magazine review of her new movie “Country Strong,” which wasn’t so much a movie review as it was an account of how much people love to hate this her. For a recent example of the special kind of annoying she can be and the hilarious ire it can inspire, check out Videogum’s pitiless breakdown of Paltrow’s new advice to fellow working moms.

Read the full post on SUNfiltered