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The 10 Best “Lion Sex” Photos from Getty Images

July 24, 2014

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When you do a search for “sex” on Getty Images, you get a lot of interesting results — so many, in fact, that we were compelled to create a superlative series of Getty “sex” search images. We ran a “Best of Animal Sex” post, but there were so many amazing lion (money) shots, we had to give them their own day in the sun. Enjoy — they’re GRRRRRRRRRREAT!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Which Is Tougher: Pussy Or Balls?

July 23, 2014

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Our hilarious friend and Lo’s old college dorm buddy (that’s not a euphemism) Eric Levy is an up-and-coming stand-up comedian. We’ve never seen him live, but he’s always cracked us up. He recently posted a set from last December on Facebook, so we finally got a chance to check him out: and he’s as funny as ever! We especially liked his bit on pussy vs. balls, and which is the tougher of the two (starts at minute 13:15). Enjoy!:

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An Audience Member at “The Men Tell All” Tells All

July 22, 2014

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Our friend Laurie Sandell is not only a celebrity interviewer for women’s magazines like In Style, Glamour and Marie Claire, she is also a Bachelor Nation superfan. She started a private Facebook group for her likeminded friends (like us) called “Monday Night You-Know-What Discussion Group.”  She once bagged the White Rhino of Ben’s season of The Bachelor, a random run-in with show-villain and now tell-all author of “I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends,” Courtney Robertson (Laurie was bold enough to ask for a pic together and got one!). Her superfandom reached its zenith last night: she was in the studio audience of “The Men Tell All”! And now she’s here to tell us all about it:

How did you score tickets to “The Men Tell All”?
One of my friends knows one of the show’s producers.  As soon as I found this out, I immediately called in the most important favor I could imagine ever asking of him.

Where were you seated?
In the front row directly behind [host] Chris Harrison and the hot seat. It was just a fluke we got those seats: I brought a friend [another fellow superfan] and we were one of the last people called into the theater. They needed a party of two for the front row and we fit the bill.

What’s the difference between seeing it in person and seeing it on TV?
Surprisingly, it was eeerily similarly because the set was so utterly familiar, like we had teleported through our TV into the studio. Everything looked exactly the same: the lighting, the flowers, the candles, and, of course, the roses.

Are the guys better (or worse) looking in person?
So much better looking in person. We were actually floored by how good-looking they were. They were shorter than we expected, however — at least some of them were. They were all very comfortable and charismatic on stage. Clearly they had been in front of cameras for months. None of them seemed shy or embarrassed to be there.

Were there any surprises with the guys?
I have to admit, I have been a little bit lax in my viewing this season: I have an infant, so I’ve been watching with one eye, so I didn’t know exactly who the guys were. So when they came out, I was like “That guy is cute.” But he turned out to be the potentially racist one, so I quickly changed my crush.

To whom?
Ron was very charming and super cute.

What was Chris Harrison like?
He’s more sarcastic and hilarious than he is on the show. On the show he has to appeal to a mainstream American audience, but in reality he’s very wry and quick-witted, so that surprised me a bit.

And what was Andi like?
Very likable. And so much more beautiful in person — she truly is stunningly gorgoeus, as good-looking as any A-list celelbrity. Articulate and very put together. She came across as genuine.

How long did it take?
Eight hours.

What?!? Really? Start to finish?
Really, eight hours. When we first got there, we were in a holding room while the producers were making sure everyone was there. They gave us sandwiches. Then they ushered us into the studio and we spent the first two hours watching the fantasy suites episode — they tape “The Men Tell All” before the fantasy suites episode airs so we got to see it before anyone else. After that, each segment took a long time to shoot because they film more than they air, and there were breaks between each segment for leg-stretching and bathroom runs.

How were the bathrooms?
Luxury trailers set up like nice hotel restrooms. An entire trailer was one bathroom.

What was the audience like?
I was looking around at my fellow audience members, like, “Who are these people? How did they get here?” There were a lot of jewel-toned tops. It really did look exactly like the audience you see on TV. They’re a combination of people like me who are friends of friends, people who had won charity contests, randos off the street, and people associated with the show. For instance, there was a guy there — and there are hardly any guys in the audience — so I asked him how he got there and he said he provides the limos for the show. But I have to say, everybody in that audience was a superfan — there was not one jaded person in the room. I’ve been in the studio audience of “Dancing with the Stars” — I was there to interview Lisa Vanderpump — and I was seated next to another interviewer who was totally bored. At the “Men Tell All”, everyone — and I mean everyone — was into it, laughing it up.

Did you practice your reaction faces beforehand?
My friend and I were cracking up practicing our faces beforehand, but when the show started, we were so caught up in it, we really were making crazy expressions. Afterwards, we were actually afraid we might look really ugly because we hadn’t practiced looking pretty while looking surprised!

Did they use any of your reaction shots?
Umm, nothing BUT shots of us! We were practically in every frame! [See below, Laurie is the one in blue, with dark brown glossy bangs.] There were no super surprised reaction shots but we did tsk tsk when Chris Harrison talked about Marquel getting kicked off.  At one point, Chris  brought up a rumor that Andi was pregnant, but I misheard and thought she was about to announce that she actually was preggers, so I whipped my head around to my friend and gasped louder than I’ve ever gasped in my life.  Fortunately they didn’t use that.

What was the most surprising thing about the experience?
It was more intimate than I thought it would be. There’s nowhere to hide. You really are a part of the show. And the guys were very close to the audience. They were only a few feet away. They were milling about afterwards and we could have interacted with them, but there were a lot of producers around and I think it would have been unseemly to try to talk to them.

Any other dirt you can give us?
There are a ton of funny things that I’d like to share but they might really break the fourth wall and I had to sign an extremely steep confidentially agreement that no amount of fundraisers would ever help me recoup.

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What We THINK Will Happen on The Bachelorette Tonight

July 20, 2014

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Unfortunately neither of us is able to watch the “Men Tell All” episode of “The Bachelorette” tonight — starring Andi and all the men she has spurned so far. So we won’t be able to bring your our usual tart wrap-up and love lessons tomorrow. Instead, here’s what we imagine might happen on tonight’s episode…

1. Marcus will cry (again) and then admit that the only thing that got him through being dumped by Andi was moving to Vegas and becoming a male stripper.

2. Chris will tell Andi that he never actually had feelings for her, either — he was really just looking for an extra player for hide and seek in the corn fields of Iowa. He may also ask her to play one more game of hide and seek in the studio audience.

3. Andrew the rogue contestant will storm the stage and demand to show off his recently waxed chest. Andi will cry and stamp her feet and ask why no one takes this charade seriously?!

4. The men will perform a unique striptease-meets-mime dance. Andi will nod seriously.

5. Host Chris will take a lie detector test, just as the contestants have been forced to do, and will admit that this entire show is a farce. And then he will perform a striptease.

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Blog Snog: Every Stage of Your Relationship Is a Ben & Jerry’s Flavor

July 18, 2014

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The Best Animal “Sex” Photos from Getty Images

July 17, 2014

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When you do a search for “sex” on Getty Images, you get a lot of interesting results — so many, in fact, that we were compelled to create a superlative series of Getty “sex” search images. Today’s installment highlights some of the best animal nookie on file. Stay tuned over the next few weeks for more animal-related best-of lists more narrowly defined by species and genus, aw yeah. Enjoy!

 

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Top 10 Love Lessons from “The Bachelorette” (Andi’s Fantasy Suites)

July 15, 2014

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We always look forward to the Fantasy Suite episodes — contestants get naked, both literally and figuratively, and shit gets real. The Bachelor or Bachelorette may or may not sleep with three hopefuls in three days — and it’s all made possible by the host-slash-pimp, Chris. Unless, of course, it’s Andi’s season, in which case you’ll find more sexual innuendo in the Lego movie. Last night’s episode was all about feeeeeeeeelings. Yawn.

Anyway, here are the top ten love lessons — note: no sex lessons — we managed to wring out of this :

1. When a date is telling you about the heartbreak he suffered after a woman broke off their engagement, this is probably a good time to take a break from the tortilla chips and give him your full attention. (That said: Was this a Bachelorette first, to witness a woman actually eating?!)

2. If you’re trying to convince someone that getting naked is the obvious next step in the relationship, don’t tell them that you have “a childlike sense of wonder” (serious lady boner killer, no?). In fact, never ever say something like this about yourself. Also, if your date suggests that the two of you spend the night together in a luxury hotel suite, just say yes. Do not say, “I can’t wait to talk your ear off all night, that’s the thing I’m most excited about.” And definitely do not add: “I’m long-winded!” Instead, say, “Of course!” and then grin adorably, eager as a black Lab puppy, and say, “It’s too easy!”

3. When someone tells you they love you, and admits to being terrified at saying this, do not pout your bottom lip and make a baby talk noise like this person is an adorable toddler who just pooped on the potty for the first time.

4. Dance like no one is watching, even if you’re being trailed by an invasive camera crew. Even if you move like a jock whose muscles are stiff from lifting too many weights.

5. Think twice about taking in a fireworks display right before you’re about to do it for the first time. All that heavy premature ejaculation symbolism might be more than your date can bear.

6. If your family is the thing your partner loves most about you, there’s probably not a lot of boot knocking in your future.

7. It’s one thing to play hide and seek with your date when you’re home visiting family and it’s a family tradition. But to suggest it a second time? In a field that looks itchy and bug-ridden? Consider your invite to the Fantasy Suite revoked!

8. We’re all for honesty during breakups, but there’s a level of extreme honesty that can be purely self-serving. Let’s say, for example, that there’s no way in hell you’d quit your fancy lawyer job to become a farmer’s wife in Iowa, and you find yourself with no romantic feelings for this farmer in question. It would be kind to focus on the Iowa farming part, no? That’s what we thought. When you say something like, “I have more respect for you than to blame it on Iowa,” are you really thinking of his feelings?

9. When you’re dumping someone and breaking their heart, do not weep so much that the heartbroken one is forced to comfort you, the dumper. Those tears are just to make you feel like a better person — they’re not helping the dumpee. Cut the tears and let them go. And when you’re the dumpee, do exactly as Chris did: Be brief, be honest, be dignified, and walk away. (Gentlemanly hand kiss entirely optional.)

10. And finally, we never thought we’d have to say this, but apparently we do: If you’re not yet ready to sleep with a new partner, then it’s definitely too early to share that story about how you wet the bed all the way up until fifth grade.

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Blog Snog: How to Tell If You’re a Bad Kisser

July 11, 2014

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photo via flickr


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The 10 Best “Sex” Photos from Getty Images (NSFW)

July 10, 2014

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When you do a search for “sex” on Getty Images, you get a lot of interesting results — so many, in fact, that we were compelled to create a superlative series of Getty “sex” search images. Today’s installment highlights the ones that were just generally about sex (though they might make their way into some of our other, more narrowly defined “best” lists). Enjoy!

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Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelorette” (Andi on Hometown Dates)

July 8, 2014

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  1. When wooing someone — especially someone with an intellectual career — avoid these decidedly unsexy words and phrases: “it’s hard work,” “don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty,” “gumption,” “there’s no limits for a woman on a farm,” and “homemaker” (even if the person wouldn’t mind being a stay-at-home parent, there’s something so negatively old-fashioned about that word).
  2. Be aware of your “tells” on a date, e.g. a frowny-mouth relationship-barometer (the deeper the frown, the more turned off/disingenuous/full of it you are). Don’t give away your true feelings before you’ve given things a real chance. And if you have figured out your true feelings, then divulge them, don’t hide them behind your liar’s scowl.
  3. Don’t talk about your relationship like you’re doing a post-game interview: “I’ve worked hard for this, I’m ready for it, and I’m gonna give it 110%” (Josh).
  4. When you look exactly like your date’s mom and sister, consider that a HUGE red flag.
  5. Another HUGE red flag? When a close relative of your date tells you that his habit of “over-caring” can be totally “annoying.”  Cut bait asap, just like Andi did.

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