Pop Culture
How To
Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelorette” (Thailand Fantasy Suites)

  1. Beware of perfect morning hair.  You can’t have uninhibited sex if you’re worried about messing up your hair (Robby). A aerosol-sprayed, rock-solid coif in the early A.M. after a night of supposed boot-knocking betrays a depth of vanity that rivals Donald Drumpf’s. Intimacy includes being and looking vulnerable: messy hair, no makeup, the […]

How To
Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelorette” (Hometown Drama)

    1. It’s alright to cry. Guys, emotions are your friends. Did you learn nothing from Rosey Grier singing on “Free to Be You and Me”?  Or from Dolly Parton in “Steel Magnolias” when she said “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion”? Okay, first you have to actually get through “Steel Magnolias” without killing […]

Sex Poetry
Taboo Sex Is Best, According to This Victorian Poet

Lord Alfred Douglas, known affectionately as “Bosie,” was the infamous young lover of Oscar Wilde (think Jude Law and Stephen Fry in 1997’s “Wilde”) — infamous not only because of his late-19th-century indiscretion, but because of his Veruca-Salt tendencies (“I want it now, Daddy!”). Two of his poems were brought up in Wilde’s “gross indecency” […]

Pop Culture
Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelorette” (Raining Men in Argentina)

  1. Small talk is an art form. In the car ride with Alex and JoJo to the goucho ranch, the silences were more painful than slamming your thumb in a car door or listening to the entire Rick Astley discography. You know things aren’t going well when your date moans like a cow in labor because […]

Pop Culture
Photos of the Week: Happy, Naked & Older

Arizona photographer Jade Beall’s images on Facebook of an elderly interracial couple (including the one above) went viral in the last few weeks, probably because they revealed the kind of love, body security and happiness we all want, at any age! So we went in search of more life-affirming photos the AARP would approve of. […]

Pop Culture
Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelorette” (Don’t Cry for Me Argentina)

Was it because we sacrilegiously watched “The Bachelorette” sans wine for once, or was this episode particularly boring? That milquetoast tango scene was getting dangerously close to jumping the shark. Still, we were able to mine some love-lesson gems out of it for the betterment of humankind: 1. Don’t psych yourself out! Alas, poor Wells! I knew you. You were the kind […]

Pop Culture
Top 7 Love Lessons from “The Bachelorette” (Uruguay Is Where?)

We had to wait two long, grueling weeks for the next installment of The Bachelorette, but last night’s reprieve finally, mercifully came. Sadly, it didn’t deliver on the Chad drama we were promised, but instead only made his Neanderthal ways seem somewhat justified in the face of an angry coiffed mob (we hate it when Chad […]

Pop Culture
The Top 10 Laws of Love in the Bachelorette Universe

The reality gods smiled down on us last night and blessed us with a bonus episode of The Bachelorette. Perhaps two nights in a row of juicy, ‘roid-fueled drama made it easier to decipher the strange laws of love particular to the world of The Bachelorette: All dates require a bathing suit portion of the outing. This is non-negotiable, […]

Pop Culture
Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelorette” (Chad Obliterates a Yam)

Last night’s episode of The Bachelorette could have (should have) just been the first group date in its entirety: a live storytelling event in front of an audience wherein each guy had to divulge some secret personal sex story. Wells apparently had a hilarious threesome story (complete with a fart punchline!), but we only got […]

Sex Poetry
And the Winner of Our Masturbation Month Haiku Contest Is . . .

THE WINNER: Kids at last asleep My wife went out to Costco A break from laundry — Carol R. Congratulations to Carol, who will soon be the proud owner of a luxury Ina Wave pleasure object from LELO.com (worth $200). With so many fantastic entries to choose from, it was a tough call to make, […]