• The Frisky: Dealbreaker: His penis made me cry.
• Nerve: Sheryl Sandberg says doing men laundry gets ladies in the sack (but how does that kind of thinking help women?).
• YourTango: 3 signs you’re in a love-hate relationship.
• HuffPo Women: 11 things that will change when more women are single.
• How About We: There are no soul mates, and that’s a beautiful thing.
• PopSugar: 10 good, bad, and ugly vacation movie flings.
• 150 Shades of Play: How do I get my husband to try out kink?

Earlier this week, we stumbled upon Zen Garage’s post about a 2010 performance art piece by Marina Abramovic at her MoMa retrospective, in which she shared a minute of silence with each stranger who sat in front of her. Back in the 70s, she had an intense love affair with a fellow artist by the name of Ulay, but after a twelve year relationship they decided to part ways by walking towards each other from opposite ends of the Great Wall of China, meeting in the middle and saying goodbye, never to see each other again. During her performance at MoMa, Ulay showed up unexpectedly as just another museum goer, sitting across from her for one minute in silence, sharing an intense emotional connection, and then quietly walking away:

We tweeted this week that this video is a metaphor for Facebook. Here’s why:

Facebook has gotten a lot of flack for being a marriage killer — exes get in touch, rekindle old flames, and leave their current partners in order to chase dreams of the past. Sure, it happens. But what probably happens more often than not is that exes get in touch via Facebook, exes who once had a strong emotional connection and shared big identity-forming moments and created unique feelings in one another that have never — could never — be recreated. The once-couple exchange a cordial message or two, updating each other on the big life experiences that have happened since the break or even just in recent years. Or maybe no messages are exchanged: they simply become Facebook friends who occasionally view each other’s info and updates. Either way, not much is said; actually, nothing is said. Not out loud at least. Because what can really be said? The reconnection on Facebook is usually just a fleeting thing, where both parties are transported back in time together, back to when they were both completely different people made of entirely different atoms. There is a joint yet unacknowledged yearning for youth and innocence and lost time — but none of that can be regained. And so, eventually, and often fairly quickly, the two drift apart again, letting any kind of meaningful correspondence wane (if it ever began in the first place), forgetting more and more about the past, hiding updates, unfriending, or simply getting off Facebook. It’s simultaneously so beautiful and moving and pathetic and depressing, that it could make a person cry. Just like Marina does.

• HuffPo Women: Where did all the condoms go on “Girls”?
• Nerve: 10 incredibly weird things the world likes in its porn.
• The Frisky: One’s first time using a vibrating love ring.
• YourTango: CONTEST: What’s the best marriage advice you’ve ever received?
• How About We: New survey says the ideal age gap in a relationship is…
• TresSugar: Fifty Shades author E.L. James is writing a how-to on penning erotica.
• 150 Shades of Play: Why you shouldn’t really take writing advice from E.L. James.

photo via flickr

Sometimes the hash tags that trend on Twitter can make you hate humankind (#fatfilms this week, really, people? Are we back in junior high? What’s next, awards for “Most Outgoing” Twitter feed?!)… and sometimes they just make you want to reach out and hug someone. And sometimes they do both, as with this week’s other trend: #YoureMoreAttractiveIf. The two most common attributes listed? Having a sense of humor and smelling good — which we guess are two qualities people particularly enjoy while taking long walks on the beach. Here are a few more, er, specific qualities that the people of Twitterland find attractive…

THE TEN BEST….

1. Professor Snape ‏@_Snape_
#YoureMoreAttractiveIf you know the difference between your and you’re.

2. The Office ‏@theofficenbc
#YoureMoreAttractiveIf you like beets, bears, and Battlestar Galactica.

3. lexxie goff ‏@lexxiequinn
#YoureMoreAttractiveIf you can pull off a beanie

4. Occupy Wall Street ‏@OccupyWallSt
#YoureMoreAttractiveIf you realize that the sequester is an exercise to distract us from the pain of life under a world run by big business.

5. madelynn ☀ ‏@xoxox_madelynn
#YoureMoreAttractiveIf you let me roll the blunt sometimes, and not be full of yourself, mine are just as good if not better

6. Jordan Kranda ‏@JordanKranda
#YoureMoreAttractiveIf you’re a Christian, book nerd, mature, aren’t a flirt, lover Taco Bell, and have ambitious goals.#TotalPackage

7. Brunette Barbie™ ‏@_BrunetteBarbz
#YoureMoreAttractiveIf you don’t ask me for nudes

8. J SUN ‏@JasonDonohoe93
#YoureMoreAttractiveIf you prefer staying in on the weekends and eating loads of junk food in bed with a DVD and cuddles

9. Planned Parenthood ‏@PPFAQ
#YoureMoreAttractiveIf You respect me, my body, and my choices.

10. James Urbaniak ‏@JamesUrbaniak
Misread the trending hashtag #YoureMoreAttractiveIf as#YourMoreAttractiveElf. Make that a thing.

AND THE ONE WORST…

Tom Tebow ‏@IamEvilTebow
#YoureMoreAttractiveIf … You blow me while I watch sports #Romance

MORE LIKE THIS ON EMandLO.com:

• Top 5 Kinds of Illegitimate Rape
• Anti-Advice: The Top 5 Tricks to Snag a Man
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1. Never be a narc. It won’t get you laid or married. Ever. (We’re talking to you, Kacie.)
2. If you want your music career to go nowhere, get booked on The Bachelor (even more effective if the couple you’re supposed to perform for breaks up before you strum your first note).
3. If you’re going to an amusement park for a date, wear sensible shoes and an outfit with a sensible hemline, ESPECIALLY if your date is basically wearing gym shorts.
4. “Accidentally” pooping your pants might actually be an effective way to garner sympathy and attention from a man (or at least Sean). For example, after the faux stairway spill and the fabricated baby breakdown in the club hallway, we were surprised this wasn’t one of Tierra’s later tactics. Future Bachelor contestants take note.
5. The volleyball competition will now become the obligatory group date for every future season of The Bachelor. (Let us pray the same can be said for every future season of The Bachelorette.)
6. Missing an appendage does not automatically make you an interesting person. (On that note, another tangential lesson learned: Just because you don’t have an elbow doesn’t mean you can get out of wearing elbow pads at the roller derby.)
7. If you ever want to be truly, deeply loved, never talk about your inner “sparkle” to anyone. In fact, it’s probably best if you forget about your sparkle all together.
8. Eating bugs is a great way to show a guy you like that you will put ANYTHING in your mouth.
9. Don’t judge a book by its cover.* Who would have guessed that Sean’s last girlfriend was black, or that he, the life-long Texan and conservative born-again virgin, would end up picking the feisty part-Filipino tattooed vegan from Seattle? (*Of course, this lesson does not apply to situations in which the “book” in question is a contestant  on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. In those cases, judge away!)
10. Bachelors who chose temporary abstinence are bad for the ABC show’s brand. This season treated Sean’s recent choice of celibacy like a secret teddy bear collection, acting like it didn’t exist, instead giving lots of sexy airtime to Sean’s special relationship with his bar of soap in the shower. And while we’re all for a little equal opportunity objectification (you know, just to help balance the scales a bit), we also would have liked a little more attention paid to the fact that a grown man with amazing abs and a gleaming smile actively decided to forgo casual sex. But oh no, that would waterdown The Bachelor mythology that all men have to have sex, that intercourse always happens in the fantasy suites, and that the power of the show alone miraculously turns these guys into faithful fiances overnight. We’re not saying abstinence is a choice everyone should make, or that some God should be dictating what you do or don’t do with your genitals, but being thoughtful and deliberate about your sex life, especially if you’re a straight guy in this society, is a nice change of pace from what’s usually presented on television when it comes to sexuality. Too bad ABC didn’t embrace it. Then again, this is The Bachelor we’re talking about — our expectations should be about as low as a pole at a Trinidadian limbo competition.

 MORE FROM EMandLO.com:

• The Super Bowl 2013 Commercial Kisses
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• Why Is Sex Fun?

photo via The Frisky

The following is from our very own naughty dictionary, 150 SHADES OF PLAY: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink. Bolded words signify individual entries that appear elsewhere in the A-to-Z section of the book. Anything with a tie icon  indicates an activity or prop mentioned in the Fifty Shades series (symbolic of the famous woven tie Christian Grey uses to restrain Anastasia Steele). The idea being: look up something you’re interested in and, from there, make it a choose-your-own-adventure book by following any bolded words that pique your interest to their own dedicated entry. Or just start at A and don’t stop ‘til you get to Z—or ‘til you’re compelled to try something out with your partner, whichever comes first!:

Anastasia Steele 

The heroine/reluctant sub/damsel in distress (D.i.D.) of the Fifty Shades of Greytrilogy, who falls hard (literally) for romantic, bad-boy, billionaire dom, Christian Grey. She has two imaginary friends: her snarky, cartwheel-twirling Inner Goddess and her finger-drumming Subconscious (yes, yes, if this character were trulysubconscious, then Ana wouldn’t be aware of her, but let’s not let literary accuracy get in the way of a good time, shall we?). All three appear to be virgins at the start of the series—and none of them ever met an adverb she didn’t like. By the end (spoiler alert!), they’re all on board for a little BDSM play in a custom-designed Red Room of Painwith now hubby/baby-daddy Christian.

For more on doms, BDSM, and other kinky endeavors, pick up a copy 150 SHADES OF PLAY, on sale now at Amazon!

• How About We: 10 unique NYC date ideas inspired by film. (How could they not include a Woody Allen film?!?!?!)
• YourTango: How well do you know your own desires?
• Nerve: Sexless in Sin City — leaving the Mormon Church.
• TresSugar: Sex on The Bachelor: the fantasy suite date.
• HuffPo Women: What she learned from a year of online dating.
• The Frisky: The 10 dumbest porn myths.
• 150 Shades of Play: Quickie advice: how to get hubby into kink!

photo via flickr

• The Frisky: What commitment really means in a relationship.
• YourTango: The trick to staying faithful to your partner.
• How About We: How doing small things now will save you from divorce later.
• Nerve: Can I cheat on my girlfriend to make sure she’s the one I want to marry?
• TresSugar: Why women trust gay men’s dating advice above anyone else’s.
• HuffPo Women: Why P.D.A. matters.
• 150 Shades of Play: Erotic death match — Fifty Shades of Grey vs. 150 Shades of Play.

• The Frisky: What your sexual fantasy says about you.
• YourTango: 5 reasons to stop being angry at your ex.
• How About We: When did writing about detached sex become a thing?
• Nerve: An interview with a Tantric sex coach.
• TresSugar:  Relationship stats from recent love studies.
• HuffPo Women: Can online dating alleviate loneliness? 
• 150 Shades of Play: Did you fuck up Valentine’s Day? Make it up with the best present of the year!