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The 10 Best “Sex” Photos from Getty Images (NSFW)

July 10, 2014

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When you do a search for “sex” on Getty Images, you get a lot of interesting results — so many, in fact, that we were compelled to create a superlative series of Getty “sex” search images. Today’s installment highlights the ones that were just generally about sex (though they might make their way into some of our other, more narrowly defined “best” lists). Enjoy!

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Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelorette” (Andi on Hometown Dates)

July 8, 2014

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  1. When wooing someone — especially someone with an intellectual career — avoid these decidedly unsexy words and phrases: “it’s hard work,” “don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty,” “gumption,” “there’s no limits for a woman on a farm,” and “homemaker” (even if the person wouldn’t mind being a stay-at-home parent, there’s something so negatively old-fashioned about that word).
  2. Be aware of your “tells” on a date, e.g. a frowny-mouth relationship-barometer (the deeper the frown, the more turned off/disingenuous/full of it you are). Don’t give away your true feelings before you’ve given things a real chance. And if you have figured out your true feelings, then divulge them, don’t hide them behind your liar’s scowl.
  3. Don’t talk about your relationship like you’re doing a post-game interview: “I’ve worked hard for this, I’m ready for it, and I’m gonna give it 110%” (Josh).
  4. When you look exactly like your date’s mom and sister, consider that a HUGE red flag.
  5. Another HUGE red flag? When a close relative of your date tells you that his habit of “over-caring” can be totally “annoying.”  Cut bait asap, just like Andi did.

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Our Song of Summer: “Everyone Is Gay”

July 7, 2014

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We’re guessing the official Song of Summer this year is going to be Ariana Grande’s “Problem” featuring Iggy Azalea (though it could be Ed Sheeran’s “Sing,” or the adorable “Rude” by Magic!, or maybe Lana Del Rey’s “West Coast”, though Sia’s Chandelier would be a nice surprise, hopefully not the panderingly named “Summer” by Calvin Harris or the too slow “Stay” by Sam Smith…). But if we had to vote, we’d go for something totally unexpected: A Great Big World’s “Everyone Is Gay.” Sure, the video (which is really quite sweet) was released last year, but their megahit “Say Something” with Christina Aguilera is only dying down just now, finally. It’s about time another song off their 2014 album “Is There Anybody Out There?” got it’s day in the sun. There’s nothing particularly summery about “Everyone Is Gay” — it’s timeless and universal — but it’s upbeat, catchy and makes you want to do flips off the diving board:

“Everyone Is Gay”

If you’re gay then you’re gay
Don’t pretend that you’re straight
You can be who you are any day of the week
You are unlike the others
So strong and unique
We’re all with you

If you’re straight well that’s great
You can help procreate
And make gay little babies
For the whole human race
Make a world we can live in
Where the one who you love’s not an issue

‘Cause we’re all somewhere in the middle
And we’re all just looking for love to change the world
What if the world stops spinning tomorrow?
We can’t keep running away from who we are
If you’re gay then you’re gay
If you’re straight well that’s great
If you fall in between that’s the best way to be
You’ve got so many options
Every fish in the sea wants to kiss you

Awwww…

‘Cause we’re all somewhere in the middle
And we’re all just looking for love to change the world
What if the world stops spinning tomorrow?
We can’t keep running away from who we are
And we’re all here in it together

We’re one step closer to breaking down the walls
Everyone is gay

 

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Blog Snog: How “The Bachelorette” et al Are Ruining Your Love Life

July 3, 2014

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The Best Kisses from Getty Images, Part 2

July 2, 2014

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When you do a search for “sex” on Getty Images, you get a lot of interesting results — so many, in fact, that we were compelled to create a superlative series of Getty “sex” search images. Today’s installment is the second of a two-part series on their best kisses (Part 1 is here). Mwah!



Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelorette” (Andi in Belgium)

July 1, 2014

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photo courtesy of ABC/Geert Vanden Wijngaert

  1. It’s honorable to take the process of falling in love seriously (Marcus), but would it kill you to crack a joke once in a while? There’s a reason why people rank “sense of humor” as one of the most important qualities they look for in a mate.
  2. To quote Nick: “You’ll never get what you want if you don’t ask for it.”
  3. Guys, it’s great to be in touch with your emotions and allow yourselves to cry, even publicly (Nick, Dylan) — sincerely — but now you’ve got to work on being able to express your emotions, whether good or bad, verbally. Tripping over your words (Nick), being uber-vague about your feelings (Nick, Josh) — these things are only mildly endearing for so long.
  4. Sour grapes aren’t very appealing. You can’t control how others (Nick) behave, you (all the other bachelors) can only control your own behavior and hope that it will serve you karmically in the end. So don’t be the nice guy who becomes a bad guy by railing against the original bad guy.
  5. Never stay at a hotel that will give any rando who knows your name a key to your room!

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Blog Snog: Whitney Cummings Decodes Online Dating

June 27, 2014

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The Best Kisses from Getty Images, Part 1

June 26, 2014

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When you do a search for “sex” on Getty Images, you get a lot of interesting results — so many, in fact, that we were compelled to create a superlative series of Getty “sex” search images. Today’s installment highlights the best kisses — actually, there were so many we had to present them in two installments (stay tuned for Part 2 next week). Mwah!



Amy Schumer Doesn’t Feel Bad About Your Abortion

June 25, 2014

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We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again: We fucking love Amy Schumer. She’s spit-your-drink funny and she’s feminist, whether she’s talking about casual sex or body image or fisting… or abortion. On this latter topic she particularly tickles us: We’d always assumed that a good abortion joke was hard to pull off, but Amy Schumer makes it seem as easy as, well, Plan B. She even calls it “aborsh”! Here are our five favorite Amy Schumer abortion jokes:

1. “I have an excuse, actually, why I’ve been drinking so much. I haven’t said this out loud yet — this is exciting — I’m drinking for two. Thank you, wow. I mean, just for now. Somebody’s being evicted.”

2. [On Her Best Friend's Pregnancy] “I’ll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, ‘You guys, I’m keeping this one.”

3. “It’s a weird age. They’re like, ‘Amy, I’m pregnant.’ And I still don’t know whether to be like, ‘Congratulations,’ or ‘Do you need a ride?’”

4. “There’s nothing more awkward than going to the first birthday party of a little girl when you told her mom to get rid of her — because the kid can tell.”

And yes, yes, we know that Plan B is not an abortion, but “4 quotes about abortion and one about the morning after pill” just didn’t have the same ring to it…

5. “You feel like such a dirty whore buying Plan B. It is so embarrassing because it’s over the counter but you have to ask your pharmacist, and they know what you want but they make you ask. They’re lookin’ at me, I’m like, you see where my eyeliner is, just give it to me.”

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Top 5 Love Lessons from The Bachelorette (Andi in Italy)

June 24, 2014

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screenshot from ABC’s “The Bachelorette”

  1. For the love of all that’s clean and right and good, wash your hands after you go to the bathroom! And not just when you’re on a date — every time.
  2. When on a date, don’t talk about how bad you are in bed, even if you’re just joking, for the truth is spoken in jest.
  3. Don’t give your date reason to paraphrase Shakespeare and say “Methinks thou doth protest too much.” (Getting all huffy over a playful lie detector test suggests you’ve got a lot to hide.)
  4. Straight men, please don’t have more cleavage than your female date. (We’re talking to you, Cody.)
  5. “Farting in the public” is okay, just make sure you don’t do it in the vicinity of your date.

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