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Top 10 Joan Rivers Quotes About Sex

September 5, 2014

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Joan Rivers died yesterday at the age of eighty-one, and we can’t be the only ones to be relieved that she died due to complications following throat surgery — and not, say, while getting another face lift. Because we want to remember her not for her plastic face (she liked to joke that when she died, they’d donate her body to Tupperware) but for the groundbreaking, glass ceiling-smashing comedian that she was. Some people might call her ballsy, but we prefer to say: The woman had labes. She once joked, “At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.” Meryl, ya hear that? We really think you should show up.

Without further ado, here are our top ten favorite Joan Rivers quotes about sex and love. (If some of your favorites are missing, it’s because we excluded her most self-deprecating jokes, especially the ones she made later in life, about her own body and her lack of sex appeal.)

1. A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she’s a tramp.

2. It was a Jewish porno film… one minute of sex and nine minutes of guilt.

3. My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it’s missing, and what’s there stinks.

4. All my mother told me about sex was that the man goes on top and the woman on the bottom. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.

5. It’s so long since I’ve had sex, I’ve forgotten who ties up who.

6. Never floss with a stranger.

7. Half of all marriages end in divorce — and then there are the really unhappy ones.

8. Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say “My wife makes a delicious cake” to some hooker?

9. My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.

10. Don’t follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.

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The Best Underwater Kissing Photos from Getty Images

August 28, 2014

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When you do a search for “sex” on Getty Images, you get a lot of interesting results — so many, in fact, that we were compelled to create a superlative series of Getty “sex” search images. As the summer swimming season winds down, today’s installment highlights some of the best underwater kisses (who knew this could be a whole category?).

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The Best Butterfly “Sex” Photos from Getty Images, Part 2

August 20, 2014

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When you do a search for “sex” on Getty Images, you get a lot of interesting results — so many, in fact, that we were compelled to create a superlative series of Getty “sex” search images, which includes a whole subsection of animal-themed lists. Today is part 2 of our beautiful butterfly series (check out Part 1 here).

 

 

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The Best Butterfly “Sex” Photos from Getty Images, Part 1

August 14, 2014

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When you do a search for “sex” on Getty Images, you get a lot of interesting results — so many, in fact, that we were compelled to create a superlative series of Getty “sex” search images. There are a many animal sex images, but none as beautiful as butterfly nookie. With so many to choose from, we’re breaking it into two parts (stay tuned for Part 2 next week).

 

 

 

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The 25 Best Frog and Toad “Sex” Photos from Getty Images

August 7, 2014

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When you do a search for “sex” on Getty Images, you get a lot of interesting results — so many, in fact, that we were compelled to create a superlative series of Getty “sex” search images. Frogs and toads turn up quite a bit. And what’s most striking is that they, unlike the lions, all look supremely bored.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The 25 Best Bug “Sex” Photos from Getty Images

July 31, 2014

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When you do a search for “sex” on Getty Images, you get a lot of interesting results — so many, in fact, that we were compelled to create a superlative series of Getty “sex” search images. We ran a “Best of Animal Sex” post and a best “Lion Sex” post, but now it’s time for the little guys to get their due: behold the best bug bonking, aw yeah! (Seriously, some of these are absolutely beautiful.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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