Em & Lo's RSS Feed Em & Lo's Daily Email Feed Be Our Facebook Friend! Follow Us on Twitter!

Burlesque and Retro Lingerie

Good Vibes Spring Sex Toys

Buy on Amazon Kindle!

Amazon's Sexy Spring Dresses


Archive | Pop Culture RSS feed for this section

The Bachelor’s Big Reveal: Juan Pablo & the Fantasy Suite Charade

February 26, 2014

0 Comments


photo courtesy of ABC/Guy D’Alema

Many episodes of The Bachelor of have been touted as “the most dramatic ever!” — last night’s truly was.

It has been a long-time coming: 18 seasons to be exact (and that’s not even counting all the spin-offs). But after yesterday’s fantasy suite episode of The Bachelor with Juan Pablo, the veils have finally dropped, exposing the show as the anti-fairy-tale it actually is.

Cynics and smart people have known all along it was a sham, but the producers have always taken great pains to perpetuate the fairy-tale myth. For instance, every bachelor follows the script which dictates that he have no clue who he’s going to choose until he wakes up on the morning of the final rose ceremony with sudden, miraculous clarity about his “one true love.” No conversations about religion or politics are ever aired (do they even take place?), because matters of the heart are supposed to transcend that. And the vast majority of the women the producers usually pick are not career-driven realists — they’re romantics with more traditional “family values” who feel like they’re old maids at 26 because they haven’t found “The One” yet.

But last night, the producers had to let all that go when one woman refused to play along: Andi, our hero.

Cracks in the facade began appearing earlier this season, when Juan Pablo’s flaws couldn’t be contained. First, while Juan Pablo was doing publicity events in real time between episodes #2 and 3, he went rogue, making homophobic statements during an interview: “…there’s this thing about gay people… it seems to me, and I don’t know if I’m mistaken or not… but they’re more ‘pervert’ in a sense. And to me the show would be too strong… too hard to watch [with a gay bachelor].” Those comments began chipping away at his Prince Charming exterior. He was being honest, but that’s something the producers don’t let bachelors get away with on the show, at least not while it’s in mid-season. Left to his own devices, Juan Pablo’s small-mindedness became abundantly clear before they’d even gotten out of the United States to more exotic date locales!

Next, came the slut shaming. The combination of bikinis, cocktails, competition, hot tubs and epic make-out sessions that stand-in for actual getting-to-know-you conversation led one contestant, Clare, to break protocol and actually make a move: she snuck out at 4am, knocked on his door, and invited him for a romp in the sea. Juan Pablo happily — and quickly — obliged (he couldn’t get his swimsuit on or his tongue out fast enough). The two engaged in some more make-out time – unscheduled and unsanctioned make-out time — in the rough ocean waves (which in our expert opinion involved major frottage, maybe some handwork, but most likely not penile penetration, despite the editors best efforts to make viewers think otherwise). And with that, Clare seemed like she had secured her position as the front runner.

TOP 5 LESSONS OF THE BACHELOR (JUAN PABLO, EP 5)

That is, until the next day. Clare knew what she wanted and she went for it, so she had to be punished  – it didn’t fit The Bachelor script, nor did it fit Juan Pablo’s macho notion of how good girls behave. Even though he willingly and wholeheartedly participated, he realized he had been out-manned, so she needed to be taken down a peg. He gave her a paternalistic talking to, explaining it was wrong of her to do what she did, using the lame, made-up excuse of needing to set a good example for his daughter — a need he failed to honor in every subsequent episode by engaging in more bathing suit make-out sessions with at least 5 other women…by dating 7, 10, 15 women at a time…indeed by just being on this show (if we’re using the excuse he gave Clare as the measuring stick).

Other glitches in the Bachelor matrix presented themselves: Juan Pablo’s inability to deal with women’s emotions (“Don’t cry”, “Stop crying,” etc); his need to control them (“Look at me [when I'm talking to you]” in combo with his patented chin lift); his preference for kisses over conversation (something all bachelors could be accused of, thanks to the producers heavy hand in editing, but Juan Pablo takes the cake, and we’re guessing without that much help from them); his really poor timing in letting women go (he may not have known it was Cassandra’s birthday when he dumped her, but he knew he was going to dump Renee right after meeting her son — no way would he raise another man’s child); and the fact that before last night, one contestant (Sharleen) had already voluntarily bailed — an inexplicably rare occurrence in the warped world of The Bachelor.

TOP 5 LOVE LESSONS OF THE BACHELOR (JUAN PABLO, EP 6)

But the last veil dropped last night, when “the fantasy suite turned into a nightmare,” as Andi put it. Like Sharleen (the other sharp, career-driven woman on the show), assistant district attorney Andi had had reservations about this “process” and JP all along, feeling uncomfortable with having to wait such an unnaturally long time for one-on-one encounters with someone she’s supposedly dating (a totally legitimate and understandable reaction that sane people who’ve seen this show wonder why more contestants don’t seem to have and express more often). When Andi brought JP home to meet her family, her father and sister openly expressed reservations. Even the language she chose to describe her feelings at that point reflected, perhaps inadvertently, her ambivalence: I think I feel like I could almost be kind of close to something akin to love (we’ve paraphrased for dramatic effect). It was as if, having come so far in the show and having enjoyed the world travel and having succumbed to the pressure of the cameras, she felt obligated to pretend to feel something she didn’t. It’s a phenomenon that happens to all the women (even within the first episode, when some women start making premature statements about the potential for love and marriage and kids with someone they just met!) — but with Andi, we could tell she didn’t believe it, and it was obvious that deep down, she could tell too.

So when Andi and Juan Pablo got to their fantasy suite — which is presented as a sex den by the producers but is probably more often a safe place for participants to let their guards down, be their truer selves, and get to the heart of important matters for the first time — the harsh reality of Juan Pablo (and the show itself) became clear. Without a thrilling activity (like bungee jumping or waterfall climbing), without an amazing view, without the cameras and microphones, and without sex, the two of them had a chance to talk, really talk. And Juan Pablo couldn’t deliver. Not because English is his second language, but because he is a sexist man who views women through a retro lens: they are sex objects, wives, and mothers, not independent individuals on equal par with men who might have their own ideas and opinions and careers. Women should be seen, not necessarily heard. They should bend to the light of the man. And their greatest goal should be to get married, have children, and support their husband. It’s the kind of world view that someone who’s arrogant enough to be The Bachelor and date this many people all at once in this manner would, unsurprisingly, have. And it’s the kind of world view that the set up of this show perpetuates. (The Bachelorette series tries but fails to even this effed-up playing field — there’s a reason there’ve been half as many episodes of The Bachelorette as The Bachelor).

Most of the women on this show are happy in this traditional role — at least while the mesmerizing cameras are rolling. Never before has someone rejected the script so wholeheartedly, nor brutally taken down a Bachelor mid-season. (Even revolutionary Sharleen’s adios was dampened by her tears, her lust and her lack of conviction.) But after spending real genuine quality time with Juan Pablo alone, Andi couldn’t stay silent: she had to tell the producers, Juan Pablo himself , and the world what a joke it all was:

The fantasy suite turned into a nightmare. I saw a side to him that I didn’t really like, and the whole night was just a disaster. I hope he did not think that went well. I really hope he did not think that that was a good date….Every time I started to talk about feelings or started to talk about, you know, something from my past or whatever, it was always him that started telling his own story. It was all stories about him, and not once did he really ask anything about me….I just started to realize that he didn’t really care about who I was, and what I thought, and what I want in life….It blew my mind that he thought that was okay to talk about [Clare's overnight date]….There’s just no filter with him…He thinks that he can say whatever he wants to say, and that everyone’s gonna laugh and still fall in love with him…but, you know, it gets to a point where it’s just offensive.

When she confronted Juan Pablo in broad daylight and in front of the cameras about the previous night, she asked him if he had any idea what religion she practices, what her politics are, how she intends to raise her children (he didn’t), revealing that it’s not just that the producers choose not to highlight these conversations, but that they don’t happen — at least not with Juan Pablo (and chances are, not with many other Bachelor-types as well). As with Sharleen, Juan Pablo didn’t fight for Andi, didn’t express regret or remorse, didn’t try to make amends — he simply shrugged his shoulders and dusted off his hands. After all, he doesn’t have to listen to the opinions of an uppity woman; he’s got plenty of other women to choose from — and not just the two remaining contestants, but all the idiot women who will line up after the show to get a piece of this celebrity frog, warts and all.

Andi’s unconventional departure from The Bachelor (with THE best in-car post-breakup confessional) was the equivalent of a Super-Bowl-sized home team win a long-time coming for all the progressive feminists who watch this show like a car crash. Hopefully, the producers will see that a more honest, more realistic portrayal, not only of the messiness of relationships, but of the strength and independence of different kinds of smart women — rather than the candy-coated charade of The Bachelor‘s Barbies & Kens — is what truly makes for the most dramatic episodes ever.

MORE LIKE THIS ON EMandLO.com:



Your Dating Style, According to 2014′s Oscar-Nominated Movies

February 25, 2014

0 Comments

Last week we dished up sex and dating wisdom from Matthew McConaughey, according to the various characters he’s played over the years — from Dazed and Confused all the way through to True Detective. This week we’re going to let you figure out your love/sex/dating style, according to which is your favorite Oscar-nominated movie of the list below…

American Hustle

You like kinky power play and roleplaying (especially with wigs). And you approve of mind games, both in and out of the bedroom.

We fight and then we fuck, that’s our thing. – Rosalyn Rosenfeld

You’re nothing to me until you’re everything. — Sydney Prosser

She was the Picasso of passive-aggressive karate. — Irving Rosenfeld

 

 

Captain Phillips

You think that communication is the cornerstone of all good relationships, and you won’t give up until you’ve perfected this. You play by the rules, because that’s how good relationships prosper.

The problem is not me talking. The problem is you not listening. — Captain Phillips

I came too far, I can’t give up. — Muse

I got bosses. They got rules. — Muse

We all got bosses. — Captain Phillips

 

 

August, Osage County

You like to talk dirty, and you like to fight dirty, too. You’ll hang in there until the bitter end, even if it kills you.

Eat the fish, Bitch! — Barbara Weston

Oh… oh… I got a big bite of fear! And it never tasted so good! — Charlie Aiken

My wife takes pills, and I drink. That’s the little deal we’ve struck, a little paragraph in our marriage contract. — Beverly Weston

Barbara Weston: Marriage is hard.
Karen Weston: That’s one thing about mom and dad. You gotta tip your hat to anybody who can stay married that long.
Ivy Weston: Karen, he killed himself.

 

The Wolf of Wall Street

Sex and love — it’s all just mergers and acquisitions to you. Which means you want more-more-more of everything… and you’ll screw over what really matters to you in the process of acquiring more and merging more.

Jordan Belfort: [holding his child] Does Daddy get a kiss from both of his little girls?
Naomi Lapaglia: Oh, no. No, Daddy doesn’t even get to touch Mommy for a very, very… very long time.
Jordan Belfort: Daddy’s really sorry about what he said in the other room, he didn’t mean any of it!
Naomi Lapaglia: Daddy shouldn’t waste his time. And from now on… it’s gonna be nothing but short, short skirts around the house. And you know something else, Daddy? Mommy is just so sick and tired of wearing panties.
Jordan Belfort: Yeah?
Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah.
Naomi Lapaglia: [pushes him away with her legs] But no touching.
Jordan Belfort: Oh, god.

 

Gravity

You like long walks in space, lots of extended, meaningful eye contact, and deep conversations about What It All Means. You like your personal space, but you also like being tethered to someone… it makes the abysss that much more bearable, no?

Matt Kowalski: So, what do you like about being up here?
Ryan Stone: The silence.

 

 

Her

Who really knows what it all means? Who really knows what love is? Who really knows if this post even exists? In that case… screw it! You do what you want, screw who you want, love who you want.

I think anybody who falls in love is a freak. It’s a crazy thing to do. It’s kind of like a form of socially acceptable insanity. — Amy

I wanted somebody to fuck me. I want somebody to want me to fuck them. Maybe that would have filled this tiny little hole in my heart, but probably not. — Theodore

Sometimes I think I have felt everything I’m ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I’m not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I’ve already felt. — Theodore

The past is just a story we tell ourselves. — Samantha

We are only here briefly, and in this moment I want to allow myself joy. — Amy

The heart is not like a box that gets filled up; it expands in size the more you love. I’m different from you. This doesn’t make me love you any less. It actually makes me love even more. — Samantha

We spend a third of our lives asleep, and maybe that’s the time when we feel the most free. — Amy

 

Frozen

You’re a commitment-phobe who thinks that holding onto your independence is the best way to protect yourself from heartbreak. The problem with this approach is, you never get any practice at serious, long-term relationships, so when The One (or someone you think is The One) comes along, you might leap into a forever commitment without really thinking things through.

Anna: Why do you shut me out? Why do you shut the world out? What are you so afraid of?
Elsa: I said enough!
[In her fury, she conjures up an icicle wall around herself.

Anna: But I want to help!
Kristoff: No! I don’t trust your judgement!
Anna: Excuse me?
Kristoff: Who marries a man they just met?
Anna: It’s true love!

 

Before Midnight

You need to learn to appreciate comfortable silence in a long-term relationship. Just because you don’t have a fresh witty anecdote to share with your partner every minute of every day, doesn’t mean the “magic” has gone. In fact, you should consider it one of the benefits of long-term commitment, that you don’t have to perform constantly. Sometimes it’s okay to just be.

Jesse: You’re just like the little girls and everybody else. You wanna live inside some fairy tale. I’m just trying to make things better. I tell you that I love you unconditionally, I tell you that you’re beautiful, I tell you that your ass looks great when you’re 80. I try to make you laugh.
Celine: Okay.
Jesse: All right, I put up with plenty of your shit. And if you think I’m just some dog who’s gonna keep coming back, then you’re wrong. But if you want true love, then this is it. This is real life. It’s not perfect, but it’s real. And if you can’t see it, then you’re blind, all right, and I give up.

 

MORE LIKE THIS ON EMandLO.com:



Top 5 Love Lessons from the Bachelor (Juan Pablo, Hometown Dates)

February 25, 2014

0 Comments

photo courtesy of ABC/Guy D’Alema

  1. Dudes: No sleeveless tees over long-sleeved ones (even if they’re attached and it’s supposed to be a “look”). In fact, better yet: No sleeveless tees, period.
  2. If one of the parents of your date asks for either a private dance performance or a private dance lesson from you, quickly but tactfully get your date back by your side to immediately dilute the creepy factor (just as JP did with Andi’s mom).
  3. It’s 2014. You don’t need to ask anyone’s father’s permission to propose marriage. But if you insist on asking for a blessing (or the more confrontational “Would you welcome me into this family?”), then ask both parents, not just the dad. (This applies to any ladies considering proposing as well.)
  4. Renee’s mom said it best: “We can love our pets; but you need to be in love with the [person] you want to be with.” Make sure you don’t just have a “pet,” or that you are the “pet.”
  5. Don’t meet the child of your date unless you’re sure you see a future together. And certainly don’t meet the child of your date the day before you dump them!

MORE LIKE THIS ON EMandLO.com:



Blog Snog: Sex Duration in America, Mapped by State

February 21, 2014

0 Comments


Tags:

Sex and Dating Advice from Matthew McConaughey

February 21, 2014

0 Comments

There’s been a lot of talk lately about how Matthew McConaughey has reinvented himself as a Serious Actor, launching himself out of the chick flick ghetto (Ghosts of Girlfriends Past et al) and into Oscar-nominated territory with Important Movies like Dallas Buyers’ Club. But what we want to know is, how has his characters’ approach to love and sex changed over the years, and over the movies?

Turns out, it’s not just McConaughey’s Rust Cohle in HBO’s True Detective who has a bit of a philosophical bent. It was there from the start — it’s just been honed over the years, you might say. So here is a chronological timeline of McConaughey’s advice on love and sex over the years, according to his characters.

 

1993: Dazed and Confused

“Man, it’s the same bullshit they tried to pull in my day. If it ain’t that piece of paper, there’s some other choice they’re gonna try and make for you. You gotta do what Randall Pink Floyd wants to do man. Let me tell you this, the older you do get the more rules they’re gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin’ man, L-I-V-I-N. ”

“That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.”

 

1997: Contact

“Is the world fundamentally a better place because of science and technology? We shop at home, we surf the Web… at the same time, we feel emptier, lonelier and more cut off from each other than at any other time in human history.”

 

2001: The Wedding Planner

“[My fiance] is great. But… what if what I think is great really is great, but not as great as something greater?”

 

 

 

 

2003: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

“Andie: True or False: All’s fair in love and war.
Ben: True.
Andie: Great answer.
Ben: Good question!”

“Andie: Does Princess Sophia want to come out and play?
Ben: Who’s Princess Sophia?
[Andie points at his crotch]
Andie: Little, big, little, big… I don’t know… we will find out!
Ben: You can’t name my member… Princess Sophia.
Andie: Yes, I can!
Ben: If you are gonna name my… member, you have to name it something hyper masculine. Something like Spike, or Butch, or Krull the Warrior King!”

“Guys, a woman’s purse, alright, it’s her secret source of power. Alright? There are many dark and dangerous things in there, that we, the male species, should know nothing about.”

2006: Failure to Launch

“I’m not afraid of love. I love love. Look, I’ve had a lot of girlfriends, right? And sometimes I’m the rebound guy. Other times, when I get lucky, I’m the “explore new areas of your sexuality” guy. But every single time, we have fun. Thank you. I have fun, they have fun. It’s good for me, it’s good for them. And I would argue that it’s damn good for civilization as a whole.”

[You're going to let her walk away?] “I’m giving her space, Mr. Axelrod. Now, I’m going after her.”

 

2009: Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

“Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right. But power isn’t happiness, and I think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less.”

“Get over [him cheating on you]. It was years ago! With some slutty friend of yours! A friend, incidentally, that you’re not even mad at. And you know why? Because you don’t actually care. You love Paul so much you forgave him the second you heard, and that’s what scares you.”

“I’ve been in your shoes. You know what? It scared the hell out of me too. What if she hurt me? What if she left me? What if she died? It would have been the end of me. So I cut it short, before she ever could. And you know what? It was the biggest mistake I ever made. And you’re making the same mistake right now, and I’ll be goddamned if I’m going to sit by and watch. You’ve got to risk love, Sandra! I didn’t and look at me! I’m a lonely ghost of a man. It doesn’t mean that you’re never going to get hurt, but the pain you feel will never compare to the regret that comes from walking away from love. And from someone who’s felt a lot of both, trust me, regret beats pain every day of the week and twice on Sunday. Don’t run away. Don’t do it… Now. Do you still want to get married?”

“When did casual sex become a crime? Really? I mean, now a days being a single means, what? You’ve lost your way? That something is missing? Never mind that every night I swim in a lake of sex, and they fall asleep in each others arms, spooning.” [Spooning is nice.] ”Yeah, not as nice as forking.”

2012: Magic Mike

“You are the husband they never had! You are that dreamboat guy that never came along!”

 

 

 

 

2012: Mud

“People just sometimes forget why they fell in love in the first place.”

“Don’t judge your life on all of our mistakes.You’ll make plenty mistakes of your own, no need takin’ on everybody else’s.”

 

 

 

2013: The Wolf of Wall Street

“You gotta stay relaxed. Do you jerk off?” [Uh, I don't know, like two, three times a week?] “Okay, you’re going to want to raise those numbers. You’re in the fucking minor leagues. Me, I jack it twelve to fifteen times a week. Twice a day. Once in the morning after I work out, once after lunch. If you don’t do it, the stress of this job, it’ll make you explode. Or worse, you’ll implode. You don’t wanna implode. … I want to jerk off, but that’s not why I do it. I do it because I need to.”

 

 

2013: Dallas Buyers Club

“Watch what you eat and who you eat.”

 

 

 

 

 

2014: True Detective

[Can you imagine if people didn't believe? All the things they'd get up to?] “Exact same thing they do now, just out in the open.” [past]

“I think human consciousness is a tragic misstep in evolution. We became too self-aware, nature created an aspect of nature separate from itself, we are creatures that should not exist by natural law. We are things that labor under the illusion of having a self; an accretion of sensory, experience and feeling, programmed with total assurance that we are each somebody, when in fact everybody is nobody. Maybe the honorable thing for our species to do is deny our programming, stop reproducing, walk hand in hand into extinction, one last midnight, brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.” [present]

 

MORE LIKE THIS ON EMandLO.com:



R.I.P., Maggie Estep

February 19, 2014

0 Comments

We were introduced to Maggie Estep‘s work more than ten years ago, when Nerve.com, where we were both editors at the time, published her fiction. Here are the opening lines to her short story Devil in Her Eye, published on Nerve in 2002:

She wasn’t the kind of girl to make a bishop kick in a stained glass window, but she got to me all the same. Her name was Sylvia. Dirty blonde. Five-foot-four, 122 pounds, thighs just shy of ample. She was quiet. Seldom looked at you straight on, but once she did, you never forgot it. Which is what happened. She looked at me. Right into me.

And I melted. I’m not the kind of guy to go around melting, mind you. I’m pushing thirty-five. I’ve been locked up a few times, and when I wasn’t Inside, I worked on the back side of racetracks. Mucking horse shit and what have you.

I’m not a melter. But Sylvia got me.

Her writing sticks with you, and this stuck with us. (You can read the story in full here.) Neither of us ever met her, but then last week, Em went to a reading at Oblong Books in Rhinebeck, NY — it turned out Maggie Estep lived just one town north of us, and had contributed to an anthology about writers leaving New York called Goodbye to All That (hey, we did that, too!). She was charming, hilarious, brilliant, vibrant, and sweet, and Em departed the reading with secret plans to friend-stalk her. And then two days later, she had a heart attack, and two days after that she was dead. At fifty.

Estep was best known as a slam poetry performer — she helped bring the genre into the mainstream, performing on MTV, HBO, and PBS… and how often does a poet whose work is ”characterized by gritty honesty, black humor and a post-punk brand of feminism”  (NY Times) get to do that? One of her most famous poems is the blisteringly sarcastic “Happy”, which she performed on the HBO show “Russell Simmons’s Def Poetry Jam” (watch her perform it in the video above, it’ll make you happy, no sarcasm):

To hell with sticking my head in the oven
I’m happy
I’m ridiculously, vengefully happy
I’m ripped apart by sunshine
I’m ecstatic
I’m leaping
I’m cutting off all my limbs
I’m doing circus tricks with forks

But the poem that we want to share in full today is the one that Beavis and Butthead poked fun at Estep for (not that she cared). The poem is called  ”Hey Baby,” and the topic is pretty appropriate for this site:

Hey Baby

So I’m walking down the street
minding my own business
when this guy starts with me
he’s suckin’ his lips goin’
Hey Baby
Yo Baby
Hey Baby
Yo

and I get a little tense and nervous
but I keep walking
but the guy, he’s dogging my every move
hey Miss, he says,
Don’t miss this!
And he grabs his crotch and sneers ear to ear
so finally, I turn around
Hey Buddy, I say
I’m feelin’ kinda tense, Buddy
I got a fuckin’ song in my heart
so come on,
Let’s go

I got a huge bucket of non-dairy creamer
and some time to kill
so let’s do it
we’ll make some foul-smelling artifical milk
and drink gallons and gallons and gallons of it

Get our bladders exceedingly full then
sit on the toilet together and let
the water run in the shower
and torture ourselves by not letting ourselves urinate
as the water rushes loudly
into the bathrub, okay?

We’ll do it together
writhe in utter agony
Just you and me
and I’ll even spring for some of that blue shit
for the toilet bowl, all right?
I mean, that’s my idea of a good time
so how bout it, you wanna?

The guy backs up a bit
Whatsa matter, Baby?
You got somethin’ against men?, he says
No, I say
I don’t have anything against men
Just stupid men

R.I.P., Maggie Estep., you were one of the good ones.

MORE LIKE THIS ON EMandLO.com:



Top 5 Love Lessons from The Bachelor (Juan Pablo, Ep 7)

February 18, 2014

0 Comments

photo courtesy of ABC/Michael Fullana

  1. If you’re looking for an “intellectual connection” with a potential mate (like Sharleen), don’t go on “The Bachelor.”
  2. If your date makes you wish you were a little dumber (like JP makes Sharleen wish she were), then that is a clear sign this relationship should be kept squarely in the booty call zone — a marriage of intellectual equals just ain’t in the cards. After all, the ideal relationships exist when both parties think the other one is by far the smarter of the two. (By the way, Sharleen, nice subtle dig on the brain capacity of all the other ladies vying for JP’s affections — zing!)
  3. If you’re going to check out someone’s rack, be subtle about it (see Juan Pablo at the very end his date with Sharleen — at minute 26 on TiVo — for what NOT to do).
  4. Calling someone your “boyfriend” doesn’t make it so (Nilki).
  5. If you dump someone, don’t let them make you feel better about it. You can outwardly feel bad about it, but don’t play the hurt victim who needs to be taken care of and told how wonderful you are by the person you just dumped (Chelsea). This is a time to be gentle with their feelings, buoy their spirits with compliments, be self-deprecating about what a jerk you are — don’t let the dumpee take on that role (even though it makes them seem — and probably feel — like a much better person than you). We originally wrote this rule with Chelsea (as the dumpee) in mind, but suppose it could apply to Sharleen (as the dumper) too.

MORE LIKE THIS ON EMandLO.com:



Blog Snog: The Best Romantic Comedies to Stream on Netflix

February 14, 2014

0 Comments

 



Top 5 Love Lessons from The Bachelor (Juan Pablo, Ep 6)

February 11, 2014

0 Comments

screenshot from ABC’s The Bachelor

  1. Everyone has their patented move (e.g. gently curling your date’s hair behind their ear). Just make sure your move doesn’t become an automatic, robotic gesture when a) you’ve run out of things to say, b) you’re not interested in the words coming out of your date’s mouth, and/or c) you’ve taken a paternalistic view of your dates and are treating them like children whose hairdos — indeed whose whole beings! — need to be tamed.
  2. We said it once, we’ll say it again: If you’re going to explicitly lay down ground rules and set up boundaries about the way you date — which we are all for (yay, open and honest communication!) — then you’ve got to follow and respect them consistently. Don’t break the rules when it’s convenient for you. For example: there is NO moral difference (at least from where we’re watching) between getting all hot and heavy in your bathing suits in the ocean and getting all hot and heavy in your bathing suits in a waterfall. Same diff.
  3. If you’re going to dump someone, do it before a major event, like a holiday (Xmas, New Year’s, Valentine’s Day) or a 22nd birthday. Don’t wait until right after, and certainly don’t do it on the day of!
  4. Using the sad story of your abandonment issues (perhaps created by an alcoholic, absentee father, let’s say) as a thinly veiled plea for another date will always backfire.
  5. Don’t steal other people’s partners (or their column ideas: a week and a half after @BachelorTV liked our Tweet about one of our Top 5 Love Lesson columns, they penned their own 5 — count ‘em, five! — tips gleaned from watching called “Love Advice from the Bachelor,” including our tip about being honest about your desires. Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but payment would feel pretty good too).

MORE LIKE THIS ON EMandLO.com:



Blog Snog: Old People Sex Is the Hottest Sex

February 7, 2014

0 Comments


Tags: