TV
TV
Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelorette” (San Antonio)

Don’t suffer through an outdoor date if the weather is bad. We don’t care if you’ve rented out CitiField for the evening: if it’s colder than a witch’s tit outside, jog once around the bases and then get yourselves inside to a deluxe box and stay there! Adapt to the situation — it’s what helped […]

Pop Culture
Top 5 Love Lessons from The Bachelorette (Kaitlyn Takes NY)

  JJ thought he’d score points with Kaitlyn and the community, oddly, by embracing “bros before hoes” and, we guess, “bros before foes” ideology when he told Clint to apologize, not to her, but to the other guys in the house for being a Bachelorette-bogarting douche. However, all he did was earn the derision of his castmates — […]

Pop Culture
Top 6 Sex Ed Lessons from The Bachelorette

The Bachelorette is kicking ass and taking names! Having a baby breakdown because you didn’t get picked for the team? Kaitlyn’ll embarrass you further by calmly telling you to take your ball(s) and go home. Playing hard to get and not paying attention to her on a date? She’ll call you out for the disrespect in […]

Pop Culture
Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelorette” (Kaitlyn’s First Dates)

The Bachelor/ette franchise may have finally been completely ruined for us last nigth after Amy Schumer’s guest appearance during one of Kaitlyn’s group dates. That’s how brilliant she was, turning the show into what it really should be, what it was meant to be. Schumer was her usual, inappropriately hilarious self, but it’s a testement […]

TV
The Forthcoming Slut-Shaming of the Bachelorette

Last night, during part two of the season premiere, Bachelor Nation quickly learned that the producers had in fact stacked the deck against Britt to ensure Kaitlyn would take her rightful place as The Bachelorette. But even being staunch supporters of the Kaitlyn campaign did not make watching Britt’s unceremonious dismissal enjoyable. The Highlander gimmick […]

Pop Culture
Top 5 Love Lessons from “The BacheloretteS” (Kaitlyn & Britt’s Season Premiere)

Life began again last night with the premiere of ABC’s “The Bachelorette”— or should we say, “The BacheloretteS”? After all, this season’s big twist was pitting last season’s two favorites — Kaitlyn Potty-Mouth Bristowe and Britt Insincerity’s-My-Middle-Name Nillson — against each other in a Highlander-esque cocktail party where they had to outcharm 25 fairly unimpressive […]

TV
The Best of #DescribeYourSexLifeInATvShow

We love it when Twitter puts its collective hive mind in the gutter: Today’s top trending hashtag is #DescribeYourSexLifeInATvShow. Here are some of the best: Faking It #DescribeYourSexLifeInATvShow — (@destoomuch) April 21, 2015 Leave it to Beaver #DescribeYourSexLifeInATvShow — Stacey Gaskin (@Stacey_Gaskin) April 21, 2015 #describeyoursexlifeinatvshow naked and afraid — Johnny Hammersticks (@DanielsonKelley) June 19, […]

TV
Making a Bad Show Worse: Turning “The Bachelorette” Into “Highlander”

Well, we’ve made it through another season of The Bachelor. The editors cut the footage with a heavy hand to make us think Chris would ultimately think with his dick and pick the distant, unamused, hot virgin, Becca, instead of the much more sensible choice, Iowa-loving, family-embracing, 100% gung-ho, baby-talking (in ALL senses of the word) […]

Pop Culture
Top 10 Life Lessons from “The Bachelor” (The Women Tell All)

via The Bachelor’s Twitter feed Last night, we came to the cat fight portion of the season with “The Women Tell All” episode of The Bachelor, in which producers gather together all rejected participants in a room with a live studio audience to watch — and defend — their most humiliating, offensive, mean-spirited and basically […]

Pop Culture
Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (Iowa + Hometowns)

from “The Bachelor’s” hysterical Twitter feed It’s kind of ironic that “Fifty Shades of Grey,” with its helipads and helicopters and gliders and penthouses and fancy cars, came out the same weekend “The Bachelor” aired its least glamorous episodes ever, featuring the scent of manure in the air, the shuttered businesses of a 400-person town, the […]

TV
Top 6 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (The Badlands)

from “The Bachelor’s” hysterical Twitter feed After such a tepid start, this season of “The Bachelor” has really started delivering on the crazy, thanks in part….okay, all thanks to the evil manipulation of events by the hand-rubbing, mustache-twirling producers. Let’s give the jock the short wedding dress during the mud run competition so she’s sure to win […]

Pop Culture
Top 8 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (New Mexico Is a State)

from “The Bachelor’s” hysterical Twitter feed Okay, it wasn’t the most dramatic rose ceremony ever (because there wasn’t one), but it was the most dramatic episode of this season so far, for sure.  The Emmy for Best Actress in a Reality Show should go to either Britt (“I want 100 kids! I’m an Angelina-Jolie-hot waitress […]

Pop Culture
Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (Camping, Not Glamping)

photo via @BachelorABC (the caption read: “One of these virginities will be taken tonight.” Brilliant.) The fourth episode of ABC’s “The Bachelor” featured more Emmy-worthy editing, from the tiny violins playing over Ashley “Kardashian’s”s tragic princess soliloquy to the close-up shots of her weave to the sad, foreboding music behind Jillian’s tasteless “Who Would You Rather” […]

Pop Culture
Top 10 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (Wedding “Crashers” Episode)

photo via ABC’s The Bachelor Last night’s third episode of ABC’s “The Bachelor” continued the season’s new style of embracing the humor along with the histrionics (often via some heavy-handed editing at the women’s expense). For examples of this trend, see Ellen DeGeneres’s recent season recap: Is Chris Soules so boring that the producers’ only recourse […]

Pop Culture
Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (Prince Farming’s First Dates)

photo via ABC’s The Bachelor Last night’s second episode of ABC’s “The Bachelor” proved to be quite entertaining, despite Prince Farming having the personality of a soybean. The producers seemed to pepper the episode with the kind of zany, kooky, funny stuff usually reserved for the closing credits — in order to make up for Chris […]

Movies
What Did You Think of Jeremy Renner’s “Globes” Joke?

screen shot from the Golden Globes on NBC J. Lo wore one of her, shall we say, memorable numbers to the 2015 Golden Globes, the kind of outfit that draws the unblinking stare of even the gayest gay man like greedy raiders of a lost ark. So when she and Jeremy Renner were about to […]