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Sexy World Cup Haiku Winners

July 13, 2014

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As of pub time, we have no idea who will win the Germany vs Argentina final today (our guess: Germany; our hope: Argentina), but we do know who’s the winner in our LELO sexy World Cup haiku contest! You guys proved that sex toys and the World Cup go together like Suarez and animal behavior (think he’s a biter in bed?!).

As we reported here recently, men account for four of every five sex toy transactions at LELO.com in the week before a big sporting event; normally their transactions are split 50-50, men-women. Thank you to all our contestants who did their best to keep this World Cup sexed up! Without further ado, here is the lucky winner, who scores $200 to spend on the LELO swage of her choice…

THE WINNER:

Neymar on the brain,
My LELO in bed with me
That’s a golazo!
– Katie R.

THE RUNNER UP:

A sports bar daydream
The Adidas Brazuca
Looks like my LELO
– Dave W.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: 

Two hours of running
Footballers have stamina
ISLA lasts longer
– Dave W.

Playing on the field.
Running, panting, and sweating.
Winning with a goal.
– Molly M.

The ball and the field.
Take full control of Lyla.
You have possession.
– Molly M.

Hands are not allowed
In World Cup soccer, but are
Encouraged in bed!
– Mark

Don’t commit a foul,
Lest you feel the wrong end of
A penalty kick.
– Mark

Just like orgasms,
Multiples are pretty fun:
Goal goal goal goal goal!
– Mark

Endurance is key
In soccer and the bedroom.
Let LELO assist!
– Mark

They’re not just for kicks.
You’ll be playing extra time:
LELO Luna Beads.
– Mark

With LELO Ida,
You’ll be a FIFA World Champ
Scoring in the box.
– Mark

And a nod to reader Sand, who misunderstood the instructions — 5-7-5 refers to syllables, not word count — but who still wrote an entertaining poem. Better luck next time!

Ora the pitch, come Klose
Liv for football, Lelo making me Mona
Faster Soraya, leaving me Messi!
– Sand

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How to Give a Great Couples Massage

July 5, 2014

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sponsored post

When Denis Merkas, founder of “Melt: Massage for Couples,” asked us to review his online video series, we admit we were a bit trepidatious: images of sensitive ponytail men came to mind, the sound of cheesy tantric sitars filled our imaginations, and we thought we could suddenly smell a hint of patchouli in the air. But it turns out, we had nothing to worry about!

CouplesMassageCourses.com offers an informative, beautifully shot, sophisticated series of easy-to-follow instructional videos that can inspire couples to touch each other a little more deliberately and thoughtfully to make their lives together better (seriously, just watching the 2-minute promo below made us both want to be better partners). In each video, massage therapist Merkas — who has 13 years experience and has been perfecting these techniques for mass audiences since 2006 — tells you clearly what to do and why. His assistant in the videos is his own wife Emma — but before you start to worry the two are some HBO-ish “Real Sex,” hippy-dippy, swinging couple, rest assured, they’re adorable. And within the first minute of the quick intro video (see below), they make it clear their clothes are staying on: they provide the perfect back-rub techniques, then you can take it from there.

Here’s what we really liked about “Melt”:

  • Style: The website is beautifully designed. The videos are tastefully shot. Even their interstitial graphics are cool.
  • Charm: As host and instructor, Merkas seems like a genuinely nice guy who takes his job — and his wife’s pleasure — very seriously. But not too seriously. There’s a fine line between sophisticated seriousness and cheesy earnestness, and Merkas never crosses over to the dark side, even when he uses terms like “mushy mushy yum yum.” His cute Australian accent certainly doesn’t hurt!
  • Humor: We are automatically big fans of anyone who uses a Mr. Miyagi “wax on, wax off” reference when talking about massage do’s and don’ts.
  • Ease: Rather than one long daunting video that’s too intimidating to begin, Merkas breaks up the instruction into short, easy-to-process vids that are meticulously organized so you can ease into things, jump around, and review any specific technique you like at your own pace. Every technique is broken down and explained well with cute, easy-to-remember terms like “Train Tracks” and “The Cat Walk.”
  • Insider tips: No need for a massage table or other fancy props, just some useful tricks to make a sensual massage even better (for example, who knew the best place for a couples massage is not on the bed?!).
  • Choreographed routines: Included in the package are three massage “routines” — one 5 minutes, one 15 minutes, and one 30 minutes — that you can follow along with after you’ve mastered the various individual moves. Best part: Merkas offers each routine with or without commentary (hey, blindfold your partner and use the vids as a sort of silent cheat sheet!).
  • Effectiveness: Just ask Lo’s husband, who’s been in a zombie-like state of total bliss since she used him as her guinea pig.

Lifetime access to these 3 massage routines and 17 technique videos is usually $99. But from now until July 23rd, 2014, EMandLO.com readers can get Lifetime Access for ONLY $29, that’s more than 70% OFF! Use coupon code EMandLO to get the videos for ONLY $29. That’s certainly way less expensive than a date night out. So turn down the overheads, light some candles, and plan a great date night in with “Melt: Massage for Couples.”

 



Write a Sexy World Cup Haiku, Win $200 to Spend at LELO

June 30, 2014

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Did your male sports fan partner miss the memo about buying you a sex toy before the World Cup? Or did you yourself miss the memo and your partner is now wondering where her pleasure object is? Well, here’s your chance to win $200 to spend at LELO and make amends, no matter who wins the World Cup.

As we reported here recently, men account for four of every five sex toy transactions at LELO.com in the week before a big sporting event. (Normally their transactions are split 50-50, men-women.) And these aren’t male toys the dudes are buying: the purchases are decidedly female in nature. We’re not sure whether this is an evolved form of sexual bribery, but we like the trend about a million times more than that other sports-viewing statistic — the one about the rise in domestic violence after major sporting events. Could it be that vibrators are saving the world?

In honor of this sporting-related upswing in sex toy purchases by men, we are pleased to announce our latest LELO contest: Write a World Cup-themed sexy haiku in the comments section below for a chance to win a $200 gift certificate to LELO! We’ll announce the winner on the day of the World Cup final.

Here are the rules:

1. Post a haiku in the comments section below, or submit via our contact form here – enter as many times as you like! Just remember to follow the 5/7/5 syllable format.

2. Deadline is end of day Friday, July 11th (so we can announce the winner on Sunday, the day of the final!).

3. Bonus points if your haiku mentions LELO or a LELO toy.

4. Even more bonus points if you post your haiku to Facebook or Twitter (don’t forget to let us know if you do this).

5. Automatic disqualification for anything too graphic.

6. You must be 18 or over to enter.

7. When you fill out the comment section below or send us a haiku via our contact form, make sure you include a viable email address (which we will keep private) so we can contact you in case you win.

8. Winners who do not claim their prize by responding to the private email from Em & Lo within seven days forfeit their prize, at which time another best haiku will be chosen.

Happy Haiku-ing! And don’t forget that LELO is currently offering FREE SHIPPING on any order made during the international futbol tournament. Just use code “BRAZIL” at checkout on LELO.com. Finally: Goooooo U.S.A.!

MORE LIKE THIS ON EMandLO.com:



A Fantastic Guide to Couples Massage (with No Sensitive Ponytail Men!)

June 23, 2014

0 Comments

sponsored post

When Denis Merkas, founder of “Melt: Massage for Couples,” asked us to review his online video series, we admit we were a bit trepidatious: images of sensitive ponytail men came to mind, the sound of cheesy tantric sitars filled our imaginations, and we thought we could suddenly smell a hint of patchouli in the air. But it turns out, we had nothing to worry about!

CouplesMassageCourses.com offers an informative, beautifully shot, sophisticated series of easy-to-follow instructional videos that can inspire couples to touch each other a little more deliberately and thoughtfully to make their lives together better (seriously, just watching the 2-minute promo below made us both want to be better partners). In each video, massage therapist Merkas — who has 13 years experience and has been perfecting these techniques for mass audiences since 2006 — tells you clearly what to do and why. His assistant in the videos is his own wife Emma — but before you start to worry the two are some HBO-ish “Real Sex,” hippy-dippy, swinging couple, rest assured, they’re adorable. And within the first minute of the quick intro video (see below), they make it clear their clothes are staying on: they provide the perfect back-rub techniques, then you can take it from there.

Here’s what we really liked about “Melt”:

  • Style: The website is beautifully designed. The videos are tastefully shot. Even their interstitial graphics are cool.
  • Charm: As host and instructor, Merkas seems like a genuinely nice guy who takes his job — and his wife’s pleasure — very seriously. But not too seriously. There’s a fine line between sophisticated seriousness and cheesy earnestness, and Merkas never crosses over to the dark side, even when he uses terms like “mushy mushy yum yum.” His cute Australian accent certainly doesn’t hurt!
  • Humor: We are automatically big fans of anyone who uses a Mr. Miyagi “wax on, wax off” reference when talking about massage do’s and don’ts.
  • Ease: Rather than one long daunting video that’s too intimidating to begin, Merkas breaks up the instruction into short, easy-to-process vids that are meticulously organized so you can ease into things, jump around, and review any specific technique you like at your own pace. Every technique is broken down and explained well with cute, easy-to-remember terms like “Train Tracks” and “The Cat Walk.”
  • Insider tips: No need for a massage table or other fancy props, just some useful tricks to make a sensual massage even better (for example, who knew the best place for a couples massage is not on the bed?!).
  • Choreographed routines: Included in the package are three massage “routines” — one 5 minutes, one 15 minutes, and one 30 minutes — that you can follow along with after you’ve mastered the various individual moves. Best part: Merkas offers each routine with or without commentary (hey, blindfold your partner and use the vids as a sort of silent cheat sheet!).
  • Effectiveness: Just ask Lo’s husband, who’s been in a zombie-like state of total bliss since she used him as her guinea pig.

Lifetime access to these 3 massage routines and 17 technique videos is usually $99. But from now until July 23rd, 2014, EMandLO.com readers can get Lifetime Access for ONLY $29, that’s more than 70% OFF! Use coupon code EMandLO to get the videos for ONLY $29. That’s certainly way less expensive than a date night out. So turn down the overheads, light some candles, and plan a great date night in with “Melt: Massage for Couples.”

 



News: Men Buy More Sex Toys Before Big Sporting Events

June 15, 2014

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This just in: men account for FOUR OF EVERY FIVE sex toy transactions at LELO.com in the week before a big sporting event. This is a fact that LELO can prove.

On any typical day at LELO.com, 50% of transactions are made by men, and 50% by women. If you’re surprised by that figure, don’t be, because that’s a normal buying pattern throughout the whole industry. What might surprise you, though, is how that buying pattern changes in the run up to any big sporting event, like the Super Bowl in the US, or the Champions League final in Europe.

LELO has extrapolated from their data the idea that men and women in relationships must have a kind of agreement: the guy spends time with his friends to watch the big game(s), and in advance he sweetens the deal by buying his partner a vibe which she has chosen, or they’ve chosen together.

So What’s Happening?

LELO can’t be completely sure of the why, but they ARE sure of the when. Check out how it breaks down regionally: in the days before the Super Bowl, men represent 74% of all Americans buying from LELO; and in the week before this year’s Champion’s league final, which included two Spanish rival teams, more than 80% of Spanish transactions were made by men.

The graph below shows transactions by gender, marked with the dates of big international sporting events, and our projection of how the trend will increase in the run up to the World Cup soccer championship.

And What Are The Guys Buying?

So how do they know the guys are buying for their partners, and not for themselves? Well that’s pretty straightforward. Sales of the three products below explode in this pre-sport buying period, and as you can see, they are not male sex toys:

So in honor of the World Cup, LELO is offering FREE SHIPPING on any order made during the international soccer — er, football — tournament. Just use code “BRAZIL” at checkout on LELO.com.

Has your partner ever bought you a sex toy before a major sporting event, and what do you think explains it? Answer in the comments below…



10 Father’s Day Gifts That Have Nothing to Do with the Barbecue

June 9, 2014

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Crosley Portable Turntable

Yeah, yeah, we get it: Dad likes to barbecue meaty things. But did it ever occur to you that maybe Dad likes sensual massage or a little butt play, too? Okay, so these aren’t necessarily the gifts that you’d give to your own father, but for the father of your own children? Don’t count it out. Below you’ll find ideas for all the fathers in your life, both the ones you’re related to and the ones you like to relate to…yes, even that kind of daddy.

1.
Kindle Fire HDX
$379


Because on a Kindle, no one knows if Dad is researching how to barbecue the perfect burger… or how to master Japanese rope bondage. Hey, maybe he even wants to read Fifty Shades of Grey. No judgements here.

 

 

 

2.
Burberry Touch for Men Eau de Toilette
$47


Don’t listen to us, listen to Amazon reviewer Amy Nagle: “Bought it for my husband. The second graders he teaches gives him hugs and lets him know he smells good. He says ‘that’s why my wife gets it for me.’ Haven’t found another scent that is NEAR as GOOD as this one! I admit, I hug him too, just to smell how good he smells!”  If the receiving dad in question is not your own father, then you might be interested in the review by an Amazon member named Mike Hunt (yup): “WOOOOHOOO DANG I SMELL GREAT!!! Seriously, i have to beat the women off with a stick when i wear this. even though i am ugly as a horse’s patootie, a couple of spritzes of this stuff, and i gotta run out the back door of the club at the end of the night. GET SOME.” Seriously, though, folks, how often do second graders and “Mike Hunt” agree on what smells good? You really should GET SOME.

 

3.
Crosley Portable Turntable

$79.95


Dads love vinyl. You might not have ever heard him mention vinyl before, but the moment he sees this turntable, he’ll get a misty look on his face and start telling you about the first LP he ever bought. (This is true whether the dad in question is sixty or thirty.) Pretty soon he’ll want to own all his favorite albums on vinyl — hey presto, gift giving ideas for years to come! It’s made of wood and bound in leatherette, and comes in multiple awesome vintage colors like turquoise and orange — but we’re partial to the black version lined with red. The built-in speaker means he can even set it up in the kitchen (that’s where all the dads we know put theirs).

4.
“Are We There” by Sharon Van Etten
$21.05 for vinyl; $13.49 for CD; $6.99 for MP3


Once he has a turntable, give him something worth buying on vinyl! Sharon Van Etten is the kind of musician a dad can feel okay crushing on — even a father to a daughter — because she likes to wear button downs (look, Dad, no cleavage!) and play with her hair in her face. She’s our new favorite rock star and every dad we know is currently swooning over her. (Listen to her here.)

 

5.
Aneros Helix Syn
$70


This gift isn’t for the faint of heart — it’s not every gift giver that can pull off a prostate massager (and though we don’t know what kind of relationship you have with your own father, we think this gift is probably more appropriate for the father of your own kids… or your single dad booty call). Like the original white Aneros (we just think this one is a little sexier and less medical looking), this toy “offers a shape that provides immediate pressure and tension on the prostate and surrounding area. The sphincter’s natural contractions create simultaneous prostate and perineum stimulation — all without batteries or use of your hands. The unique design helps tone the PC muscles to help improve the quality of orgasm while offering intensely pleasurable sensations.” He can use it during masturbation or oral sex or even while standing at the barbecue, if that’s his thing.

6.
Canon Wireless Printer (With Scanner, Copier, Fax)
$99.99


This device prints photographs wireless directly from an iPhone or iPad, no drivers required. This will turn Dad into a domestic superhero! He can print out pics of all his offsprings’ achievements (when’s the last time you actually bothered to print something?). Or maybe he just wants to print pics of Mom being naughty without going to CVS. And for those days when nothing else will cheer him up, he can use the built-in copier to scan his ass cheeks.

 

7.
The Multi-Orgasmic Man by Mantak Chia & Douglas Abrams Arava
$16.95


Once Dad starts working out his PC muscles with his brand new Aneros Helix Syn, he’s going to want to do something with them. So why not give him a guide to the multiple male orgasm? (It’s kind of like that kids’ book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie… If you give a man an Aneros, he’s going to want a multiple orgasm to go with it.) This Good Vibrations bestseller blends Eastern and Western philosophies and explicitly details how men can learn to separate orgasm from ejaculation.

 

8.
Jack Black Intense Therapy Lip Balm SPF 25
$7.50


No more sneaking around in his wife’s pocketbook for a lip balm and ending up with a sparkly pink pout, now there’s something truly manly for Dad’s lips. The shea butter makes Dad kissable, and the mint makes freshens his breath. Shut up, by the way, there’s nothing gross about Dad kissing Mom! He might also like the matching Jack Black Beard Lube — and yes, we just wanted to mention that product name — or Jack Black Body Rehab Scrub.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9.
LELO Sensua Suede Whip
$44


Who’s your daddy now? (Sorry, we couldn’t resist.) This is a stylish and playful way to dip your toes into the world of BDSM. The soft suede tails are great for gentle teasing… but you can swing them faster for more sensation and intensity. It’s the perfect way to let your guy know he’s more than just a burger flipper to you.

 

10.
Ruhlman’s 20: 20 Techniques, 100 Recipes, A Cook’s Manifesto
$22.60


Ruhlman teaches chefs how to think beyond the recipe, because that’s how Dad likes to cook. Whether cooking a multi-course meal or just some really good scrambled eggs, the same 20 basic concepts of cooking apply. And what Dad could resist a cookbook by the attitude-heavy chef who makes fervid protestations regarding the perfect martini? They should be made with gin, heavy on the vermouth, he says: Vodka is the Wonderbread of American consumption, and a vodka martini should be called a “vodkatini” or “kangaroo” to put it in its place.



Last Chance to Get a Great $10 “Gag” Gift for Mom!

May 7, 2014

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Lelo’s Etherea Silk Cuffs

Mother’s Day is THIS Sunday, so you only have a couple days left to get Mom the gift that’ll tide her over until the Fifty Shades movie comes out next year: our book, 150 SHADES OF PLAY: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink!

Hear us out: Moms loved the Twilight series, but secretly wished there was more sex in it. Along comes the Fifty Shades series, which is essentially Twilight fan faction, and there’s tons of sex….kinky sex. Moms across the country go gaga for it, so much so that it’s dubbed “mommy porn.” Then the movie version goes into production, and mom-fans everywhere count down the days until its release: Valentine’s Day, 2015.

There are just a few problems:

  • Fifty Shades doesn’t tell moms how to incorporate any of this stuff into their own lives
  • it doesn’t mention specific quality products or where to get them
  • it perpetuates myths about kink
  • it even promotes some very dubious (i.e. unsafe) behaviors and techniques
  • and a year is a long time to wait until the movie comes out!

A mom friend of ours recently wrote us, saying she’s been married for quite a while and needs some new ideas, asking which book of ours we would recommend. We told her 150 SHADES OF PLAY: while it does cover some intense kinky stuff, it also covers the basics; it’s not visually graphic; it has a great sense of humor, which makes it fun and non-intimidating to skim with a husband or partner; and it gives readers a vouyeristic look into how extreme some people can get with BDSM which might make them feel more comfortable and confident to try new, mildly kinky things. Because let’s face it: a little toy or light bondage is nothing compared to pony play!

So when making the mom in your life a Mother’s Day care package this coming May 11th, remember: flowers are nice, but floggers are nicer.



Win a Mother’s Day Feel-Good Package from Tess & James!

April 24, 2014

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sponsored post
Tess & James is a new, small batch production company specializing in feel good products made from ingredients that are gentle on the skin, nice to your nose, and free of artificial colors, artificial flavors and preservatives. They believe that taking time to care for yourself enables you to give lovingly to others. So Tess & James has put together a Mother’s Day Feel Good Package especially for EMandLO.com readers — all you have to do by EOD EST Tuesday, April 29th, 2014 to enter to win the random drawing is:

This fabulous Em & Lo gift box will include:

  • Salty Bath Detox: An aromatherapy salt soak (in a 16 ounce jar) formulated to release toxins and extract impurities. Its carefully selected minerals and all-natural ingredients work together to balance the mind and body while soothing your skin.
  • Salty Bath Invigorate: A refreshing aromatherapy salt soak created to soothe tired and aching muscles. Its select minerals and all-natural ingredients will revitalize the senses and nurture your body while extracting impurities from the skin.
  • Tess & James Bath Porridge (16 ounces): This blend of organic oats, elderflowers and calendula mixed with other skin-nurturing botanics serves as a delightful alternative to harsh cleansers to help relieve the discomfort of dry, irritated skin. Simply mix one capful (or one ounce) of Bath Porridge directly into warm bath water, stir, add loved one and enjoy! Comes with a reusable bath sachet to keep your tub pristine.
  • Day Lip Shimmer: Roll out of bed and dress up your lips with Day, Tess & James’s nude lip tint and shimmer. This light, creamy, subtly sweet balm will nourish your lips and add a sparkle to your smile.
  • Night Lip Balm: This sexy black tube is loaded up with the most restorative, replenishing ingredients available. Night is infused with a light and refreshing peppermint scent. This natural, untinted, unshimmered balm  is the perfect night-stand accessory.

One lucky winner will be chosen and contacted via Facebook on Wednesday, April 30th in order to be sent the package in time for Mother’s Day (just be sure you check your Facebook account on Wednesday in case you win, so you can get Tess & James the right mailing address in time for May 11th!). Good luck!



11 Sensual Gifts for May 11th (Mother’s Day)

April 17, 2014

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Flowers are okay. But moms like other stuff too: soft stuff, scented stuff, stress-relieving stuff, sexy stuff. Okay, so maybe you don’t want to get your Mom (or the mother of your children) a big ol’ dildo for Mother’s Day. But let’s try to think outside the vase. Below are some great gifts (for any budget) that she’ll really appreciate as a living, breathing human being (not a “domestic goddess”). Whatever you do, don’t get her another Edible Arrangement!

 

1.

“Relax Me” Fizzy Bath Balls

$4 each

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

These individually wrapped balls turn a bath into a bubbly cocktail of aromas and soothing salts. A calming mixture of luscious oils, baking soda, and intoxicating fragrance, Relax Me is the perfect ending to Mom’s extra-long day (and they’re all extra-long). Choose from English Lavender, Pear Vanilla, Pomegranate Mint, or Morning Dew. They’re body-safe and animal-product free, contain natural ingredients, and are made in the USA.

 

2.

Soft Sleeping Mask

$9

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Help Mom get a better night’s rest with soft and comfortable mask. The elastic band allows for a snug fit without putting undue pressure on the eyes. And, hey, if she can find another use for it — wink, wink, kink, kink — good for her!

 

3.

Luna Beads

$34

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Know a new mom? Or maybe an older one with sneeze-pee issues? Help them out with the best selling Kegel exercisers in the world: Luna Beads are designed to strengthen and tone pelvic floor muscles to improve pelvic health (which will probably intensify orgasms, but you don’t have to tell Mom that if you don’t want to). Made from body-safe materials and easy to clean, Luna Beads can be worn one or two at a time for a custom workout.

 

4.

Contour Ceramic Massage Stones

$25

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who needs massage therapy more than moms? This award-winning, body-friendly, double-fired porcelain massager by JimmyJane is hygienic, non-porous, and easy to clean. These versatile massagers can be warmed up or cooled down for added sensation and their shapes allow for limitless possibilities for sensual or deep-tissue massage techniques (dome face down for long, smooth strokes, or flipped over for pressure point stimulation with the rounded corners).

 

5.

Flickering Touch Massage Candle

$29.90

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Made from all natural soy wax, Shea butter and apricot kernel oil, Lelo’s Flickering Touch Massage Candle melts into a pool of luxurious massage oil designed to nourish and moisturize skin with natural vitamin E. These Lelo candles have a burn-time of up to 35-hours and come in three light scents: Black pepper & pomegranate; snow pear and cedarwood; vanilla and creme de cacao.

 

6.

What Makes a Baby

$16.95

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s not exactly a sensual gift, but almost any mom will feel warm and fuzzy reading this awesomely inclusive book of reproductive love to their kids. Visually engaging, informative, and supportive, “What Makes a Baby” explains to kids from any kind of family where they came from. It’s a great jumping-off point for more discussion with kids about bodies and families by a certified sexuality educator (Cory Silverberg) and an award-winning artist/illustrator (Fiona Smyth). For preschool-age 8.

 

7.

Kimono Robe

$149.50

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lelo’s vintage kimono robe is made from the finest heavy weight silk crepe satin. With tulip sleeves and soft contouring, this opulent, short-length kimono features contrast facing and piping, a silk crepe satin tie up sash, and a discreet interior tie for extra hold. A nice alternative to the old terrycloth number she’s probably wearing out.

 

8.

Burberry for Women Eau de Parfum

$85

Steer clear of the trashy celebrity perfumes by the likes of Paris Hilton and Britney, and go for pure, classic class: Burberry for Women Eau de Parfum is a fresh and sensual fragrance with fruity top notes of blackcurrant, fresh green apple and bright bergamot. Heart notes of cedar wood, jasmine, and moss are intensified with warm notes of sandalwood for a rich and sensual tone. Warm notes of musk and vanilla smooth the base. Presented in a glass, 100ml bottle. Made in France, natch.

 

9.

Yoga for Beginners Boxed Set

$20.23

If Mom isn’t into yoga yet, it’s just a matter of time. Help her pull the yoga trigger with this popular 3-DVD box set that contains Yoga for Stress Relief, AM-PM Yoga for Beginners, and Essential Yoga for Inflexible People (and you know what flexibility is good for). Forty different routines focus on different physical and mental aspects of yoga, such as building strength, improving flexibility, reducing stress, etc.

 

10.

Molton Brown Seamoss Stress-Relieving Hydrosoak

$30

Is Mom in need of a deep-sea de-stress? Of course she is! She can dive into the blue waters of Molton Brown’s oceanic bath salts, made with marine extracts, Dead Sea salts and horse chestnut. The scent is energizing and the scrub clarifying.

 

11.

Original Magic Wand

$54.95

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, okay, we know. But seriously, this is an awesome stress-melting back massager. Really. Whatever else Mom might figure out to do with it in the privacy of her own bedroom is her business — you don’t need to know about it.

 

 



Lelo’s Golden Kegel Balls Are Fifty Shades of Luxury

April 10, 2014

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sponsored post

The latest luxury product from our friends at LELO — and this one is no joke! — is a high-end version of their bestselling Luna Beads. Worn one or two at a time, Luna Beads Luxe are offered in either stainless steel or 20-karat gold, and their price points are pure Christian Grey (stainless steel retails for $2090; gold for $3090). Which makes them (a) the most exclusive pleasure beads in the world and (b) most likely out of your price range! But, hey, every vagina likes to splurge every now and then.

Like LELO’s original Luna Beads ($47) — and their stylish counterpart, Luna Beads Noir ($34) — these golden kegel balls (seriously, isn’t it worth the investment just to say you own a pair of golden kegel balls?!) respond to a woman’s movements while she wears them, subtly vibrating internally. And if they’re worn regularly over time, they lead to longer and stronger orgasms. (Hello? Priceless!)

Christian Grey famously told Anastasia that he would like to dictate her gym schedule, in order to keep her in shape for marathon kinky sex sessions. We’re pretty sure he would have assigned her a kegel workout with Luna Beads Luxe, too, had they been available at the time. Possible plot twist for the movie, perhaps? Also, can we all please now agree to show up to the cinema for the Fifty Shades of Grey movie actually wearing our kegel balls? That way we’re guaranteed some pleasure from the experience, no matter how bad the dialogue turns out to be.

In LELO’s own words,  Luna Beads Luxe ”offer a daring and tantalizing look into a world that knows no limits. A world where innermost desires are created, pursued and ultimately achieved. Worn one or two at a time, the 20-karat gold beads vibrate in harmony with the wearer’s movements, rewarding her choice to indulge this secret fantasy. As the most luxurious addition to foreplay, this beautiful set is the ultimate expression of one’s innermost fantasies.” The set is part of LELO’s Luxe Collection, which also includes the $15,000 Inez, the most exclusive vibrator ever made. (Guaranteed to make your other sex toys feel shabby and insignificant!)

Here’s what you get for your money with the Luna Beads Luxe:

• A Discreet Taste of Luxury for Sensational Couples’ Play
• Limitless Versatility for Fun Inside and Outside the Bedroom
• 2 x 47g Beads with Soft Silicone Girdle
• 2-year Warranty and 10-year Guarantee

Not to mention the brag value of being able to drop the following line into casual conversation: I have a vagina of steel.

Read more about Luna Beads Luxe at LELO.com

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