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Em & Lo’s Sexy Holiday Gift Guide: Big Spender Edition

December 5, 2014


This is the fifth & final installment of¬†our five-part series on sexy gift giving¬†this holiday season. We started with the¬†affordable gifts around 10 bucks, followed by gifts priced around¬†$20,¬†$50¬†and¬†$100, and now we’re at the $150 and over mark. They’re not all sex toys, so you’re sure to find something for every adult on your shopping list!


For the banker:










LELO’S Pino Gift Set

This¬†vibrating couples’ ring, designed to satisfy even the Gordon Gekkos of the world, comes with 10 vibration settings, silver cufflinks and a money clip which reads “Always be closing.”


For the music snob:

Bose SoundLink Mini Bluetooth Speaker

Excellent audio performance from the portable, wireless and most compact Bose speaker available — its 7-hour battery life will outlast your Sting-esque tantra sessions.


For the tablet addict:

All-New Kindle Fire HDX 8.9″ Tablet

Light large-screen tablet, with HDX display, ultra-fast performance, and front and rear cameras — you know, just a trifle.


For the one with a good eye:

Canon EOS Rebel T3 12.2 MP CMOS Digital SLR with 18-55mm IS II Lens and EOS HD Movie Mode

We’re pretty sure that jargon translates into “takes excellent naughty photos.”


For the TV junkie:

TiVo Roamio Pro HD Digital Video Recorder and Streaming Media Player (TCD840300)

Replace their user-unfriendly cable-based DVR with something more elegant. Makes cuddle time on the couch that much more enjoyable.


For the rock star (wannabe):

Schecter Damien Special Electric Guitar – Crimson Red

You can play out your groupie fantasies.


For the uber-fit:


Nike+ SportWatch GPS Powered by TomTom

Put accurate time, pace/speed, BPMs, heart rate, calories burned, and distance information right in their hands. Then they’ll be putty in¬†your¬†hands.


For the one with the “bad back” (wink wink):

The Smart Wand Body Massager

Give her an upgrade from her beat-up old Hitachi Magic Wand.


For the one with cold feet: 








Nest Learning Thermostat

They’ll be able to control their home temperature remotely from a smartphone, laptop or tablet so their love nest will be all warm and cozy when they return home — with or without a guest.


For the Christian Grey:

Majestic International Men’s Wesley Robe

Wrap your fella in 100% grey silk and let the “Fifty Shades” scenes practically roleplay themselves.


For the woman who has everything:

LELO’s Exclusive 24-Karat Gold Plated Pleasure Object, “Olga”

This gold-plated pleasure object comes presented in an elegant wooden gift box, complete with manual, satin pouch for stylish storage and a 1-year LELO warranty. Only $3,490!


For the man who has everything:

LELO’s Distinguished Gentleman’s Plug, “Earl”

This male-G-spot massager comes presented in an elegant wooden gift box, accessorized with matching cufflinks (but of course), manual, satin pouch for stylish storage and a 1-year LELO warranty. Only $2,590!



Now go check out affordable gifts around 10 bucks, the $20 fare, the gifts priced around $50, and the $100 numbers. Happy shopping!

Em & Lo’s Sexy Holiday Gift Guide: $100 Edition

December 5, 2014



This is the fourth installment of¬†our five-part series on sexy gift giving¬†this holiday season. We started with the¬†affordable gifts around 10 bucks, moved onto¬†$20 fare, followed by¬†gifts priced around $50, give or take a ten or two. Now we’re at the $100 mark. (There’s also the $150+ edition.) They’re not all sex toys, so you’re sure to find something for every adult on your shopping list!


For the photographer:


“Helmut Newton: SUMO”

A 464-page tribute to one of the 20th century’s most influential, intriguing and controversial photographers.



For the voracious reader:

Kindle Paperwhite

There’s no screen glare in bright sunlight when you’re reading on the beach with one hand (it’s over 30% lighter than iPad mini). The battery will outlast your week-long vacation and there’s a built-in reading light for late-night climactic endings you can’t put down. Best thing? No one knows you’re reading trashy erotica on a Kindle!


For the super-organized:

Fellowes Saturn SL 9.5 Inch Laminator (5213201)

Turn it on and it’s ready for some hot lamination with its 9 1/2-inch entry in just minutes, aw yeah.



For the facial hair grower:

Shaving Gift Set with Merkur Safety Razor

Also comes with a chrome-plated bowl, soap dish (with shaving soap), badger hair brush, and stand.



For the uninitiated:

LELO’s Alia Personal Massager

A my-first-vibe that’s small, elegant, discreet, beautiful, with a gold accent that’s perfect for this gift-giving season.


For the playgirl:









Silk Kimono Robe

Wrap her up in 100% silk.


For the TV junkie:






Amazon Fire TV

Create a spark by simplifying your lover’s love of TV with this tiny box that connects to their HDTV¬†for access to Netflix, Prime Instant Video, Hulu Plus, YouTube.com, games, music, and more.



For the dirty bird:







Kholer Moxie Showerhead with Wireless Speaker

Now they’ll be able to stream their sexy Al Green playlists while sudsing you up.

For the style guy:








Cashmere V-neck Sweater

Get him soft & snuggly in a cozy cashmere V-neck — 16 colors to choose from!


For the smooth operator: 

Belkin WeMo Switch and Motion Sensor

Control your electronics from anywhere with the home automation app for smartphones and tablets — great for turning on the mood lighting before they bring their date home.


Now go check out affordable gifts around 10 bucks, the $20 fare, and then gifts priced around $50, give or take a ten or two. Happy shopping!

Em & Lo’s Sexy Holiday Gift Guide: $50 Edition

December 4, 2014


This is the third installment of¬†our five-part series on sexy gift giving¬†this holiday season. We started with the¬†affordable gifts around 10 bucks, moved onto¬†$20 fare, and are now at the gifts priced around $50, give or take a ten or two. Stay tuned for the¬†$100¬†and $150+ editions. They’re not all sex toys, so you’re sure to find something for every adult on your shopping list!



For the moisture hoarder:






Astra Radiance Renewal Intense Moisturizer

Intense? This stuff is like crack for your face. It’ll make their skin smooth like butta.

For the older gay gentleman:

“Tom Bianchi: Fire Island Pines, Polaroids 1975-1983″

Sun, sex, camaraderie and reverie.


For the over-taxed:

ELO’s Etherea Silk Cuffs

Have them lie back and relax while you do all the work for a change.


For the dancing machine:








Just Dance 2015

Because even adults (drunk or sober) sometimes just have to dance. Be warned: scoring high on this game of smooth moves could lead to scoring in other ways.



For the trendster:






Crosley Cruiser Portable 3-Speed Turntable

Better get them on the bandwagon before everyone jumps off!

For the rolling stone:

AHAVA Time to Energize Travel Kit for Men

Includes Foam-Free Silk Shave, Exfoliating Cleansing Gel, Soothing After-Shave Moisturizer and Men’s Travel Bag.


For the beauty queen:


Sixteen ultra-pigmented eye shadows infused with soothing botanicals plus a mini Behind The Scenes Eye Primer for color that lasts — because sometimes the difference between getting a little somefin’ somefin’ is a smokey eye. (Plus, it’s made without sulfates, petrochemicals, phthalates, GMOs, or triclosan!)



For the beauty sleeper:

Chezmoi Collection White Goose Down Alternative Comforter

Because why should a cute little goose have to die just because you want to get all snuggly warm with your partner?


For the wifey:

Calvin Klein Women’s Essentials Long Sleeve Night Dress

Because her PJ’s are getting a little gnarly.


For the water hogger:

LED Color Changing Showerhead

Turn your shower into a disco pick-up scene.


For the new mom:

Luna Beads

The best-selling Kegel weight & pleasure bead system on the planet (note: this gift will probably go over best if given by a girlfriend or sister rather than husband!).


For the art appreciator:

“George Platt Lynes: The Male Nudes”

Elegant, cinematic nudes in a hardcover that evoke 1940s Hollywood.


For the posture-obsessed:







Gaiam Balance Ball Chair

Like regular sex, it’s great for your back health.

For the music lover:

HMDX Jam Plus Portable Speaker

Portable and wireless, so you can have a sex playlist going no matter what room you’re christening.


For the hopeless romantic:


BARSKA Starwatcher 400x70mm Refractor Telescope w/ Tabletop Tripod & Carry Case

What could be more romantic than gazing up at the stars together?


Now go check out the rest of our Sexy Holiday Gift Guide!

Em & Lo’s Sexy Holiday Gift Guide: $20 Edition

December 3, 2014


This is the second installment of¬†our five-part series on sexy gift giving¬†this holiday season. We started with the¬†affordable gifts around 10 bucks¬†and are now at the gifts priced between $15 and $25. There are also the¬†$50,¬†$100¬†and $150+ editions. These are not all sex toys, so you’re sure to find something for every adult on your shopping list!



For the bath addict:







Tess & James’ Salty Bath

Give someone special an updated Calgon moment with Tess & James’ aromatherapy salt soak, formulated to release toxins, extract impurities, and soothe skin.

For the audiophile:









Logitech Multimedia Speaker for Smartphone/Tablet/Laptop

This small, portable speaker is perfect for spontaneous boot-knocking that could use some mood music, wherever you are.

For the “Fifty Shades” fan:

Maya Banks’ “Breathless” Trilogy Boxed Set

USA Today¬†said: “For an erotic, BDSM book, this one fits the bill.”


For the long-term partner:

SEX: How to Do Everything” by yours truly, Em & Lo

Because sometimes a couple needs some inspiration (with tasteful pictures!).


For the macho man:

Art of Manliness Collection

Two books in a cigar box with 6 drink coasters — it’ll make him want to be a better man.


For the athlete: 

Philips ActionFit Sports Earhook Headphones

Lightweight and sweat-resistant — sounds perfect for a sex workout. So maybe get two!


For the facial-obsessed:

Olay Pro-X Advanced Cleansing System 0.68 Fl Oz, 1-Count

Not¬†that¬†kind of facial! This is for people really into cleaning their skin (whether or not it’s after a defilement is up to them). And 2,000 Amazon reviewers love it.


For the facial hair grower:

Van Der Hagen Men’s Luxury Shave Set

Upgrade his shaving routine for less scruff burn during oral.


For the ethical facial hair grower:

Parker Safety Razor SYNTHETIC Bristle Shaving Brush with Blue Wood Handle & Free Stand

Because why should a cute little badger have to die just because you want your partner to have baby-bottom skin?


For the humble wine lover:

Libbey Vina 12-Piece Stemless Red and White Wine Glasses

They’ll toast to your great gift-giving skills.


For the domestic goddess:

DC Comics Wonder Woman Apron

Funny, functional, and also kind of hot.


For the domestic god:

DC Comics Superman Apron

We’ll say it again: Funny, functional, and also kind of hot.


For the entirely inappropriate:

Cards Against Humanity

13,000 Amazon reviewers give it 5 stars! One of its “selling points” is that “0% of the proceeds will be donated to the Make-A-Wish Foundation.” Whomever you give this to will be the life of the party they bring it to.


For the sensualist:

LELO’s Tantra Feather Teaser

Adult tickle time in a fancy box.


For the game-night enthusiast:

I Dare You: 30 Sealed Seductions

Sex-writer icon Susie Bright offers up 30 sealed prompts (all in a little gift box) to help make date night more daring.


For the foodie:







Casina Rossa Gourmet Sea Salt Gift Pack (6 x 1.1 oz. Jars)

Spice up someone’s life with these flavored artisan salts: “Truffle & Salt”, “Fennel & Salt”, “Saffron & Salt”, “Fiori & Salt”, “Porcini & Salt”, and new “Herb & Salt.”


For the beer drinker:

Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller, 2-Pack

Helping them keep their beer cold just might make them hot for you.


Be sure to check out the other price brackets in our Sexy Holiday Gift Guide!

Em & Lo’s Sexy Holiday Gift Guide: $10 Edition

December 2, 2014


This is the first installment of¬†our five-part series on sexy gift giving. We start here with the affordable gifts ALL AROUND 10 BUCKS, then, over the next few posts, we’ll work our way up with gifts priced around¬†$25,¬†$50,¬†$100¬†and $150+. They’re not all sex toys, so you’re sure to find something for every adult on your shopping list!


For the married with children:










“Dept. of Speculation” by¬†Jenny Offill

A suspenseful love story that’s romantic and depressing and funny — they’ll read it in one sitting!


For the foodie:

Amco Rub Away Bar

Don’t let them bring their garlic fingers to bed.


For the sex toy collector:

LELO Toy Cleaning Spray

Help them keep their toys shiny and new (and 99.9% germ free)!


For the tech geek:

Quirky Cordies Desktop Cable Management

There are few things sexier than neatly arranged power cords and charging accessory cables.


For the sausage lover: 

“Little Book of Big Penis” (Taschen Pocket Series) edited by¬†Dian Hanson

150 massively endowed models from the 1940s through the 90s. Not that size matters.


For the butt man (or woman):

“Little Book of Butts” edited by Dian Hanson

150-plus pics of female badonkadonk.


For the facial hair grower:

Proraso Shaving Soap, Eucalyptus & Menthol, 5.2 oz (150 ml), New Formulation

A smooth face — all the better to kiss you with.


For the wine aficionado/alchy:

Oster Electric Wine-Bottle Opener

“Drink wine. This is life eternal…” It could also be love eternal after you give this gift. Plus, 2000+ Amazon reviewers can’t be wrong.


For the tensed up:

Ignite Me Massage Candles

Burn the candle, blow out the flame, and drizzle.


For the “Fifty Shades” fan:

“150 Shades of Play” by yours truly, Em & Lo

We didn’t write this review, we swear!: “Em & Lo are irreverent, smart and funny feminists out to demystify the world of kink. Best of all, I caught up on all the juicy info and how-tos without enduring the pain of reading a single page of the¬†Fifty Shades¬†trilogy! Smartly written in an A-Z dictionary style with the book’s other terms usefully bolded throughout. Also loved the sometimes hilarious illustrations.”


For the traveling businessman:

Tenga Egg Masturbation Sleeve

For when you can’t be with the one you love. Peel the outer layer like you would a hard-boiled egg, then crack open the shell to reveal an ‚Äúona-cup‚ÄĚ — each one offers a unique internal texture. Get different strokes from different yolks!


For the vegetarian:

“Crazy Sexy Kitchen: 150 Plant-Empowered Recipes to Ignite a Mouthwatering Revolution” by Kris Carr

150 delicious, nutrient-dense recipes designed to nourish the mind, body, and soul.


For the child of the ’80s:

“In the Pleasure Groove: Love, Death, and Duran Duran” by¬†John Taylor

The hottest member of one of the best bands from the ’80s tells his tale of rock’n'roll, sin, and redemption — with lots of pics!

Be sure to check out the other price brackets in our Sexy Holiday Gift Guide!

Em & Lo’s Sexy Holiday Gift Guide!

December 1, 2014


This is our five-part series on sexy gift giving this holiday season. We start with the affordable gifts around 10 bucks and work our way up with gifts priced around $25, $50, $100 and $150+. They’re not all sex toys, so you’re sure to find something for every adult on your shopping list!

Gifts for Around $10


Gifts for Around $20


Gifts for Around $50


Gifts for Around $100


Gifts for $150+




20% OFF & Free Shipping on all LELO Pleasure Products Through Cyber Monday!

November 26, 2014


sponsored post

LELO is offering EMandLO.com readers a whopping 20% off this Black Friday Weekend, from Thanksgiving Day through end of the day Monday!¬†Plus, they’ll throw in a free bottle of LELO personal moisturizer (read: lube) on any orders over $100!¬†Just use code EM&LO1 at checkout. Now is the time to get your partner that couple’s massager, your best friend a new best friend, and yourself some quality alone-time! The holidays are here, so put some OH OH OH! in your and your loved ones’ lives with LELO!

PINO: The 1st Pleasure Product Exclusively for…Bankers?

November 21, 2014


sponsored post

Okay, it’s actually a gift set for men, but our friends over at LELO decided to have a little fun with the marketing, explaining that the banking angle “gave us the opportunity to¬†come up with loads of banking puns: Deposit; Hostile takeover; Double dip; Sperm bank; The Ultimate Stimulus Package…”

So what’s the hook? “Bankers screw us so often, we may as well get some pleasure out of it.” Funny.

PINO, “the first pleasure product made exclusively for bankers” [and those are big air quotes], is by far and away the most luxurious vibrating couple‚Äôs ring money can buy, presented in LELO’s most premium gift box ever. The perfect gift for the powerful man who has everything and still wants more, inside you‚Äôll find:

  • Cufflinks: A pair of engraved silver cufflinks that hint subtly at your expertise at market penetration.
  • Money Clip: A chromed money clip bearing the mantra of many a successful trader: Always Be Closing.
  • PINO‚ĄĘ: The powerful, 10-function vibrating couple‚Äôs ring from our Insignia range, with a unique ridge design to add some liquid to your assets. (100% Waterproof & USB-Rechargeable.)

But again we ask, why single out¬†bankers? LELO’s (fairly tongue-in-cheek) spiel:

Wall Street can be a cut-throat place, and everybody wants a slice. We believe it’s in our interest to keep Wall Street smiling because, if the moneymen are happy, it’s usually good news for the rest of us.

But that‚Äôs not all. Bankers and traders are famous ‚Äď or infamous, more accurately ‚Äď for their insatiable excesses and recklessly hedonistic lifestyles. Sure, the movie portrayals are undoubtedly exaggerated, but there is a foundation of truth beneath the Gordon Gekkos and Wolves of Wall Streets we see in the cinemas. They are, after all, based on real people. LELO is in a unique position to stimulate that market.

Since a large section of sex toy early adopters tend to come from the financial sector, we are only too keen to service their demands and desires, as we do for so many other core sections of our most loyal customers. Bankers, though, have sex differently from most of us. For most of us, sex is an appetite. In the male-dominated, testosterone-drenched world of banking, it‚Äôs an obsession. We need to make sure they‚Äôre doing it right. PINO‚ĄĘ is kind of an outside consultant in that respect: it‚Äôs not cheap, it‚Äôs very flashy, and by the time you need it, it might already be too late.

But should we really be lavishing the greedy, morally bankrupt jerks of the world with nice presents? And what about the female jerks in finance? Do they get their own high-end, high-powered gift package?

It’s not as flashy, but how about we just think of the PINO Pleasure Set as the perfect splurge this holiday season for the man — not the jerk — in your life who sometimes has the occasion to wear cufflinks? Because that couple’s massage ring looks like it’ll be a pretty sweet present for you, too!

7 Key Rules for Buying a Quality Sex Toy

November 14, 2014


The Mona 2 — a toy designed by our sponsor LELO that fits all our criteria below¬†(cupcakes not included)

There are countless toys out there to choose from — unfortunately, not all of them will get you to your happy place effectively, or even safely. The sex toy industry, which is largely unregulated, is littered with manufacturers and distributors who are more interested in quantity than quality. Fortunately that’s changing, as consumers become more educated and demanding. So keep these 7 important rules in mind when shopping for a battery-operated friend: Read the rest of this entry »

And the Winner of Our #KegelizeAMovie Contest Is…

November 7, 2014


@cd_clifford! Congratulations, you are now the proud owner of a brand new LUNA Smart Bead‚ĄĘ¬†from¬†LELO! Longer, stronger, easier-to-come-by orgasms are now within your (or your partner’s) reach, thanks to your acumen at Kegelizing movie titles.

It was a very close race between Christen Clifford and Chris Perkins, but Christen’s strong showing (“The Kabinet of Dr. Kegel”, the Die Hard series, etc) along with the originality with some of her entries (“The Vag Strikes Back,” “Saving Privates, Ryan” and “The Kegelcizer: Revenge of the Retrocele”) pushed her over the edge. But because we loved Chris’s entries too (especially “Dr. Strangelove”), we’ll be sending him a copy of our book, 150 Shades of Play.¬†(And that wasn’t even part of the official rules!). See, people really do win on EMandLO.com.

Below are all¬†the entries — our favorites in bold!

Christen Clifford @cd_clifford

  • The Vagina Redemption
  • The Vag Strikes Back
  • Grand Kegelusion
  • The Kabinet of Dr Kegel
  • Some Like It Tight (Ewwww, I know, but I had to. Sorry.)
  • Raging Kegel
  • Saving Privates, Ryan
  • Casakegel
  • Butch Cassidy & the Kegeling Kid
  • Salaam Kegel!
  • King Kegel! Kegel Kong!¬†That’s it:¬†Kegel Kong.
  • On a roll here -¬†just throwin em all out, maybe one will be funny:¬†Kegel Hard, Kegel Harder, Kegel Hardest…
  • The Kegelcizer: Revenge of the Rectocele

Chris Perkins¬†‚ÄŹ@cepx01¬†

  • Dr Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Kegels
  • Close Encounters of the Kegel Kind
  • The Magnificent Kegels
  • To Kegels, With Love
  • Monty Python and the Holy Kegels
  • Night of the Living Kegels
  • All The President’s Kegels
  • A Fist Full of Kegels
  • The Wizard of Kegels
  • Saving Private Kegels
  • The Kegel Redemption
  • Interview With a Kegel
  • Must Love Kegels

David Windmuller @DavidWindmuller

  • Kegels, Thongs and Perfect Snogging
  • Heavenly Kegels
  • Divine Secrets of the Kegel Sisterhood
  • Kegeler on the Roof
  • Kegels n the Hood (clitoral?!)
  • Do the Kegel Thing
  • Kegel to the Future
  • Kegel Hard
  • Kegels on a Train
  • She’s Gotta Have Kegels
  • Kegeling to Exhale
  • It Happened One Kegel
  • Das Kegel

Frances Frame¬†‚ÄŹ@frandianne

  • No Kegel for Old Men
  • A Beautiful Kegel
  • Kegel Impossible
  • Raiders of the Lost Kegel
  • Kegel Club
  • The Good, the Bad, and the Kegels
  • The Man in the Iron Kegel
  • 2001: A Kegel Odyssey
  • It’s a Wonderful Kegel
  • The Mighty Kegels
  • Lord of the Kegels: Fellowship of the Kegel
  • To Kegel A Mockingbird
  • The Red Kegel of Courage
  • Kegels at Tiffany’s
  • The Kegels of Wrath
  • Buffy the Vampire Kegeler
  • Kegeling in Seattle


Dave Wolgast¬†‚ÄŹ@DaveRef¬†

  • Sixteen Kegels
  • The Kegel Club
  • Field of Kegels
  • The Perfect Kegel
  • Inglorious Kegels
  • No Kegels for Old Men

For those of you who didn’t win/enter, you can still get yourself or someone you love a beautiful new LUNA Smart Bead‚ĄĘ¬†in time for the holidays. Check out this stylish (and very relaxing) video below and¬†LELO‚Äôs nice dedicated website¬†for more info on¬†the¬†LUNA Smart Bead‚ĄĘ: