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A Guide to the Toys in “Fifty Shades of Grey”

February 2, 2015


Say what you will about the literary merit of E.L. James’s¬†Fifty Shades of Grey¬†trilogy, but you can’t deny the sexual curiosity they’ve ignited, the sexual knowledge they’ve imparted and the sexual delight they’ve given, where most readers are concerned. The result has been a boon for the sex toy industry, thanks to all the props Christian Grey has in his museum chest in the Red Room of Pain.

In fact, an official line of “Fifty Shades” toys was launched, but in order to appeal to a mass market, they’re pretty cheap, which means they’re cheaply made and a bit cheap looking. In other words, Christian Grey wouldn’t be caught dead with any of them in his luxury Red Room of Pain. Buying a la carte is a better way to go. We’ve done the leg work for you: here’s a review of some of the items you too can procure to live out your Ana fantasies, from mild to hardcore, affordable to expensive, but all quality made:


As Christian knows, you dampen one or two senses, it heightens the rest, particular your sense of touch. In the trilogy, they use an airline sleeping mask, which we’re all for. But come on, billionaire Grey has to steal the in-flight paraphernalia for his kinky fuckery? Not buying it. More plausible would be¬†an elegant silk number like LELO’s Intima Collection, perhaps in red to match the blood red walls of his upstairs dungeon. If you need to improvise, scarves work well — just be sure to tie the knot to the side so your blindfold-ee doesn’t have to lie on it.

Wrist Restraints

Christian uses everything from the iconic woven tie on the cover of the first book to metal handcuffs, from leather cuffs to silk ones. Ties will work if you’ve got nothing else handy, but they can also pinch if they’re tied too tightly, cutting off circulation, which is a no no. And you read about the booboos Ana got from the metal handcuffs. As for the cable ties Christian bought from Ana in the hardware store: Don’t go there! (Way too dangerous for newbies. See our book “150 Shades of Play” for why). No, best to go with purpose-made cuffs that keep you secure without causing bodily harm, like¬†Etherea Silk Cuffs¬†for more vanilla play,¬†Sutra Chainlink Silk & Suede Cuffs¬†for Red Room play. If you indeed are thinking about re-enacting any “50” scenes, read up on our¬†10 Rules of Wrist Restraint.

Wand Vibrators

Often sold as “back massagers,” these big boys are for¬†external¬†stimulation, usually of the clitoris. They pack such a powerful punch that the recipient of its vibrations may get over-sensitized. Which, if you’re into sensual torture, could be just the tool for you. The most famous is the¬†Magic Wand,¬†but has their own¬†beautiful line of “Smart Wands”¬†that are rechargeable and waterproof!

Bicep Cuffs (or Armbinders)

Just like purpose-made wrist restrains, accept¬†they attach to your biceps and hook behind your back¬†(NSFW!), limiting movement and sticking your boobs out for you. You can also improvise with a set of wrist cuffs, as long as they’re big enough for your biceps, fit comfortably and don’t keep falling down around your elbows. Or go for¬†a hip corset with attatched wrist restraints.

Vaginal Balls

Also known as Ben Wa Balls, Geisha Balls, or Vaginal Beads. They can be free-floating, or connected by a cord. They can be hard and shiny, or made of softer material. Inside each is a weight that moves when you move, causing your vaginal muscles to involuntarily contract. The sensation is subtle and will be better at promoting pelvic floor health — which should be a priority — than it will be at giving you instantaneous orgasms. In fact, you can wear them and pretty easily forget about them. That is, of course, unless you’ve got a hot 27-year-old billionaire spanking you at the same time.¬†LELO has the bestselling beads in the world, including a luxury 20-karat gold version for Grey-types.¬†Read much more about balls and beads from us here.

Arnica Cream

This is a “pain relieving gel for bumps, bruises, sprains, sports injuries & over-exercising.” Applied after a bottom spanking (as Christian did on Ana’s red tush),¬†this ointment¬†may reduce bruising. You can also try applying beforehand as well. Either way, you get a nice sensual butt massage out of it. Read up on our Spanking Tips here.


Disciplinary devices for horses and errant submissives. Newbies should use it for teasing and tantalizing, not beatings. (Or for simply completing an outfit.) The power of a crop swing should equal that of an enthusiastic love pat, and only then should its target be the fleshiest parts of someone’s bottom. Anywhere else, and you’d be wise to use the impact of a feather. ¬†Reread the scene from¬†the first¬†Fifty Shades, and do what the kinder, gentler Grey does (“This is not going to hurt. Do you understand?”) with something like the¬†¬†GoodVibes Riding Crop.

Spreader Bars

Stiff bars, usually two to three feet long, with a cuff at either end, used to force the wearer’s ankles or wrists into a spread eagle pose during bondage play ‚ÄĒ most bars can be adjusted, depending on how much yoga your own “Ana” practices. They’re handy if you don’t have bedposts for attaching cuffs to. Instant self-contained bondage! Sure, your prisoner could still get up and walk around if they were particularly coordinated, but they’d look mighty funny doing so. And you’re not going to believe this, but¬†Amazon sells one for a mere $35 bucks¬†– and it’s available via Prime!

Nipple Clamps

The kind Christian uses are bejeweled “tweezer clamps.” GoodVibes sells¬†the official Fifty Shades version with beaded charms¬†(they’ll do fine).¬†They also have¬†Alligator-Style Clamps on a chain. All versions have¬†rubber tips and are¬†adjustable, so you can start with a very light squeeze. Test the grip on your inner wrist. And remember those playground fights? The less skin you pinch, the more it hurts, and the bigger and wider the clamps are, the less they’ll hurt. ¬†Grab the nipple close to the base, or even on the areola, for a gentler hold.¬†Test them on yourself first before you put them on anyone else (yes, men have nipples too!) — that way, you know what you’re both getting into. Just remember, you don’t want to go too tight or for too long (no more than 10, 15 minutes). And it’s gonna hurt like hell when you take them off, so ease the tension off them slowly — at least until you become more accustomed to playing around with them.


The pom pom of the BDSM world. (“Give me a W! Give me an H! Give me an I! Give me a P!”) A popular flagellation tool, a flogger consists of a fairly stout handle and several “tails” of equal length (from one- to three-feet long) made of leather, suede, nylon, pleather, rubber, or even ribbon. One of Christian’s had little beads on the ends, which beginners should steer clear of (too dangerous): instead,¬†go with a well-made, small, light-impact flogger like the¬†Sensua Suede Whip. That and a light touch will¬†evoke more giggles than actual cries of pain.

Butt Plugs

The anal area is chock-full of nerve endings just dying for some attention. And a butt plug can do that for you — filling you up, giving your sphincter something to contract around, and raising all-over goose bumps when it’s finally removed (you¬†know¬†you know that feeling). But you’ve got to start small with a little finger and then work up to an inanimate object,¬†but only one designed specifically for the tush¬†(lest you end up in the E.R. with an embarrassing story to tell). As with any toy, go for safe, hygienic materials, quality design and durability: the¬†Little Flirt¬†is a good start for both guys and gals. If you’re a genuine “Christian,” then you can afford the¬†24K gold-plated Earl¬†for gentlemen (what’s a measly $2590?).

St. Andrew’s Cross

This is a piece of bondage furniture for serious kinksters (they are pretty pricey)¬†named for the X-shaped cross that Saint Andrew was allegedly crucified on. It features restraining points at the wrists, ankles, and sometimes the waist. We can’t imagine all the soccer moms devouring¬†Fifty Shades¬†are really going to install a bondage cross in their basement next to the storage boxes of winter hats and coats, but here are¬†a few examples from Metalbound.com¬†for you anyway.



And the Winner of Our #LoveResolution Contest Is…

January 5, 2015

1 Comment

The LELO Ina

@AkashaZarafshan! Congratulations, you are now the proud owner of a brand new INA WAVE from LELO!  The ultimate rabbit vibe for pleasure connoisseurs (with 10 vibration patterns & adjustable speeds) is now yours, thanks to your enthusiastic public display of resolving to love better in 2015!

It was a very close race between¬†@AkashaZarafshan¬†and¬†@DavidWindmuller. And since we want everyone to make out in the end, like David said, we’ll be sending him a copy of our latest book, “150 Shades of Play: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink,” now available in ridiculously affordable e-book form!

Below are all the entries:





Akasha Zarafshan @AkashaZarafshan

  • Make love, not war
  • Enjoy some “me time” more often
  • Live every day like it might be the last
  • Enjoy life to the fullest, also between the sheets
  • Do the rub-a-dubbin’ more often
  • Do some actual humping on “hump day”
  • Study the art of body language
  • Study the art of tantric sex, because sometimes “less is more” does NOT apply
  • Stop postponing everything
  • Under the motto “the more the merrier,” have a threesome
  • Work hard, play hard
  • Not use chocolate as a substitute for sex
  • Be the best person I can be
  • See failure as a lesson learnt
  • Never give up
  • Visit my family and loved ones more often
  • Be more awesome than last year
  • I’m gonna lose weight and e.x.e.r.c.i…IS THAT CAKE?
  • Be more optimistic and less sarcastic. Like I won’t screw that up right away…
  • Be more selective in making bad decisions
  • Stop drinking* ¬† ¬† ¬†*(when I pass out or all the booze is gone)
  • Turn over a new leaf, but I will probably end up smoking it
  • Stop waiting for change to simply happen to me, only I can make it happen
  • Don’t spend too much time wearing pants

David Windmuller @DavidWindmuller

  • Hit her G-spot with my tongue
  • Eat more fiber
  • Finally¬†shear off my comb-over
  • Ask how her day was
  • Stop being jealous of my girlfriend’s undulating, vibrating, bulbous LELO
  • Accept the fact that girls poop
  • Clean the toilets and do the wash before she gets home
  • When I come up 4 air from burying my face in her bum, stop repeating the lame joke, “Everyone makes out in the end”
  • Instead of trying to “fix” everything, sometimes just listen and give a big hug – it really helps
  • Stop feeling guilty about my spa days and date nights; they make me a better mommy and wife.
  • Allow him to hit the town with his smokin’ hot female friend; she was here long before I was.
  • Tolerate his orgasm farts
  • Whisper more sweet nothings and dirty, horny things in her ear

Insatiably Taken¬†‚ÄŹ@InsatiablyTaken

  • To sext more often




C ‚ÄŹ@PretendYouCare

  • I resolve to try to develop a more sex-positive outlook
  • I resolve to stop waiting on an external force to change what can I myself
  • I resolve to search for, understand, and redefine love outside of misleading mainstream portrayals


Dave Wolgast¬†‚ÄŹ@DaveRef¬†

  • I resolve to be more present in 2015


For those of you who didn’t win/enter, you can still get yourself or someone you love a beautiful new¬†INA WAVE¬†to start off¬†2015 with a bang!



Resolve to Love Better & You Could Win a LELO Ina Wave!

December 22, 2014


The LELO Ina

It’s that time of year again, when we think of all the things we’re terrible at, all the ways we’re failing as human beings, all the minor adjustments that will finally make our lives better, if not perfect. It’s mostly an exercise in futility and self-hatred, but there can be a silver lining to aspiring to be better — namely, the rare cases in which we actually do become better. Well, we’ve got to start somewhere and wishing for something may sometimes make it so.

So we’ve teamed up with LELO to encourage you to think of all the ways you’d like to love better in 2015. If you resolve well, or often enough, you could win a brand new INA WAVE, ¬†the ultimate rabbit vibe for pleasure connoisseurs that rises and falls like an expert lover‚Äôs fingers, has 10 vibration patterns with adjustable speeds, and is¬†100% waterproof and rechargeable!


Between now and Friday, January 2nd,¬†Tweet your New Year’s love resolution on Twitter.com. Don’t forget to include these three things in your Tweet:

  1. the hashtag #LoveResolution
  2. @emandlo
  3. @Lelo_Official

Examples of a #LoveResolution might include “buy more flowers,” “make-out like a teenager,” and¬†”fight fair” (these will not be considered if you enter them as your own, duh.)

Feel free to submit your entries in the comments below also, though only Tweets that follow the guidelines above will be entered to win. Enter as many times as you like, though each entry should be a different resolution (NOT the same one over and over). You must be 18 or older to enter. And do NOT create multiple Twitter accounts to enter.

Deadline is¬†EOD Friday, January 2nd, at 11:59 PST. We’ll pick one MVP winner (“MVP” being defined at our discretion) and announce the winning Tweet here on EMandLO.com as well as on Twitter on Monday, the 5th. If that winner does not claim their prize by replying to our private message within a week, a new winner will be chosen.

Good luck! And may the best resolve win an INA WAVE!

Oh Come Let Us Adore Her G-Spot

December 10, 2014


The LELO Ina

The phrase “come hither motion” should be familiar to anyone who’s ever read anything about G-spot orgasms in women. It’s a very specific, very human touch (one or two fingers, usually), and it’s the key to stimulating a woman’s G-spot. And, as you might have discovered to your frustration, it’s not something a woman can easily do herself.

Until now. LELO just released two new toys, the INA Wave and the MONA Wave, which both feature a unique kind of motion called WaveMotion‚ĄĘ. The toys feature a strong pivot that curls up and down to recreate the beckoning, come-hither motion of a lover‚Äôs fingers — a technology that has been long pursued in the sex toy industry. The INA Wave is a dual-action vibrator, more commonly known as a Rabbit-style toy — except this one also surges and plunges within you. And the MONA Wave is in the style of a G-spot massage — except, again, you guessed it, this one also surges and plunges within you. This animated gif (of the INA Wave) demonstrates the movement better than we ever could…

LELO’s admirable (and ambitious!) goal is to change the way a woman views her relationship with her body — and to help her take full ownership of her orgasm. As Steve Thomson, LELO’s Head of Marketing says, “Ownership of your orgasm is ownership of your body. This is a fundamental right as valid as any other, and one worth fighting for.” Yeah, yeah, we know: he’s in marketing. But still, it’s a concept impossible to argue with. And female sexual pleasure could use a good marketing campaign!

The idea behind these toys is that a woman can explore the full plethora of orgasms: clitoral, G-spot, blended, multiple, female ejaculation. Or, if you’re one of those people who are suspicious of the idea of different “types” or orgasm (hey, we get it) then think of it this way: Some orgasms stop and start. Some rise and fall. Some come from nowhere. Some come in, well, waves. Some are mild. Some go to eleven. And the WaveMotion‚ĄĘ will help you explore them all. Here are some more details about the two different toys…


INA Wave

The INA Wave is intended to help you experience blended orgasms. The tip rises and falls while it vibrates, as the flexible finger delivers powerful sensations to the clitoris, allowing you to enjoy a whole new spectrum of pleasure.


‚ÄĘ The ultimate rabbit vibe for pleasure connoisseurs
‚ÄĘ Rises & falls like an expert lover’s fingers
‚ÄĘ 10 vibration patterns and with adjustable speeds
‚ÄĘ 100% waterproof & rechargeable (2 hours‚Äô use)
‚ÄĘ Ultra-smooth, body-safe, all-over silicone design
‚ÄĘ 1-year warranty, 10-year quality guarantee
‚ÄĘ Insertable length: 110mm/ 4.3in.



The surging motion of the MONA Wave massages your G-spot like a lover’s fingers.



‚ÄĘ Contoured design for targeted G-spot massage
‚ÄĘ Rises & falls like an expert lover’s fingers
‚ÄĘ 10 vibration patterns and with adjustable speeds
‚ÄĘ 100% waterproof & rechargeable (2 hours‚Äô use)
‚ÄĘ Ultra-smooth, body-safe, all-over silicone design
‚ÄĘ 1-year warranty, 10-year quality guarantee
‚ÄĘ Insertable length: 110mm/ 4.3in.

All this and guess what? Free holiday shipping, too! The MONA retails for $179, and INA for $199. And yes, they will easily fit in any holiday stocking. Like we said, Oh come let us adore her… G-spot, clitoris, and more!

Em & Lo’s Sexy Holiday Gift Guide: Big Spender Edition

December 5, 2014


This is the fifth & final installment of¬†our five-part series on sexy gift giving¬†this holiday season. We started with the¬†affordable gifts around 10 bucks, followed by gifts priced around¬†$20,¬†$50¬†and¬†$100, and now we’re at the $150 and over mark. They’re not all sex toys, so you’re sure to find something for every adult on your shopping list!


For the banker:










LELO’S Pino Gift Set

This¬†vibrating couples’ ring, designed to satisfy even the Gordon Gekkos of the world, comes with 10 vibration settings, silver cufflinks and a money clip which reads “Always be closing.”


For the music snob:

Bose SoundLink Mini Bluetooth Speaker

Excellent audio performance from the portable, wireless and most compact Bose speaker available — its 7-hour battery life will outlast your Sting-esque tantra sessions.


For the tablet addict:

All-New Kindle Fire HDX 8.9″ Tablet

Light large-screen tablet, with HDX display, ultra-fast performance, and front and rear cameras — you know, just a trifle.


For the one with a good eye:

Canon EOS Rebel T3 12.2 MP CMOS Digital SLR with 18-55mm IS II Lens and EOS HD Movie Mode

We’re pretty sure that jargon translates into “takes excellent naughty photos.”


For the TV junkie:

TiVo Roamio Pro HD Digital Video Recorder and Streaming Media Player (TCD840300)

Replace their user-unfriendly cable-based DVR with something more elegant. Makes cuddle time on the couch that much more enjoyable.


For the rock star (wannabe):

Schecter Damien Special Electric Guitar – Crimson Red

You can play out your groupie fantasies.


For the uber-fit:


Nike+ SportWatch GPS Powered by TomTom

Put accurate time, pace/speed, BPMs, heart rate, calories burned, and distance information right in their hands. Then they’ll be putty in¬†your¬†hands.


For the one with the “bad back” (wink wink):

The Smart Wand Body Massager

Give her an upgrade from her beat-up old Hitachi Magic Wand.


For the one with cold feet: 








Nest Learning Thermostat

They’ll be able to control their home temperature remotely from a smartphone, laptop or tablet so their love nest will be all warm and cozy when they return home — with or without a guest.


For the Christian Grey:

Majestic International Men’s Wesley Robe

Wrap your fella in 100% grey silk and let the “Fifty Shades” scenes practically roleplay themselves.


For the woman who has everything:

LELO’s Exclusive 24-Karat Gold Plated Pleasure Object, “Olga”

This gold-plated pleasure object comes presented in an elegant wooden gift box, complete with manual, satin pouch for stylish storage and a 1-year LELO warranty. Only $3,490!


For the man who has everything:

LELO’s Distinguished Gentleman’s Plug, “Earl”

This male-G-spot massager comes presented in an elegant wooden gift box, accessorized with matching cufflinks (but of course), manual, satin pouch for stylish storage and a 1-year LELO warranty. Only $2,590!



Now go check out affordable gifts around 10 bucks, the $20 fare, the gifts priced around $50, and the $100 numbers. Happy shopping!

Em & Lo’s Sexy Holiday Gift Guide: $100 Edition

December 5, 2014



This is the fourth installment of¬†our five-part series on sexy gift giving¬†this holiday season. We started with the¬†affordable gifts around 10 bucks, moved onto¬†$20 fare, followed by¬†gifts priced around $50, give or take a ten or two. Now we’re at the $100 mark. (There’s also the $150+ edition.) They’re not all sex toys, so you’re sure to find something for every adult on your shopping list!


For the photographer:


“Helmut Newton: SUMO”

A 464-page tribute to one of the 20th century’s most influential, intriguing and controversial photographers.



For the voracious reader:

Kindle Paperwhite

There’s no screen glare in bright sunlight when you’re reading on the beach with one hand (it’s over 30% lighter than iPad mini). The battery will outlast your week-long vacation and there’s a built-in reading light for late-night climactic endings you can’t put down. Best thing? No one knows you’re reading trashy erotica on a Kindle!


For the super-organized:

Fellowes Saturn SL 9.5 Inch Laminator (5213201)

Turn it on and it’s ready for some hot lamination with its 9 1/2-inch entry in just minutes, aw yeah.



For the facial hair grower:

Shaving Gift Set with Merkur Safety Razor

Also comes with a chrome-plated bowl, soap dish (with shaving soap), badger hair brush, and stand.



For the uninitiated:

LELO’s Alia Personal Massager

A my-first-vibe that’s small, elegant, discreet, beautiful, with a gold accent that’s perfect for this gift-giving season.


For the playgirl:









Silk Kimono Robe

Wrap her up in 100% silk.


For the TV junkie:






Amazon Fire TV

Create a spark by simplifying your lover’s love of TV with this tiny box that connects to their HDTV¬†for access to Netflix, Prime Instant Video, Hulu Plus, YouTube.com, games, music, and more.



For the dirty bird:







Kholer Moxie Showerhead with Wireless Speaker

Now they’ll be able to stream their sexy Al Green playlists while sudsing you up.

For the style guy:








Cashmere V-neck Sweater

Get him soft & snuggly in a cozy cashmere V-neck — 16 colors to choose from!


For the smooth operator: 

Belkin WeMo Switch and Motion Sensor

Control your electronics from anywhere with the home automation app for smartphones and tablets — great for turning on the mood lighting before they bring their date home.


Now go check out affordable gifts around 10 bucks, the $20 fare, and then gifts priced around $50, give or take a ten or two. Happy shopping!

Em & Lo’s Sexy Holiday Gift Guide: $50 Edition

December 4, 2014


This is the third installment of¬†our five-part series on sexy gift giving¬†this holiday season. We started with the¬†affordable gifts around 10 bucks, moved onto¬†$20 fare, and are now at the gifts priced around $50, give or take a ten or two. Stay tuned for the¬†$100¬†and $150+ editions. They’re not all sex toys, so you’re sure to find something for every adult on your shopping list!



For the moisture hoarder:






Astra Radiance Renewal Intense Moisturizer

Intense? This stuff is like crack for your face. It’ll make their skin smooth like butta.

For the older gay gentleman:

“Tom Bianchi: Fire Island Pines, Polaroids 1975-1983″

Sun, sex, camaraderie and reverie.


For the over-taxed:

ELO’s Etherea Silk Cuffs

Have them lie back and relax while you do all the work for a change.


For the dancing machine:








Just Dance 2015

Because even adults (drunk or sober) sometimes just have to dance. Be warned: scoring high on this game of smooth moves could lead to scoring in other ways.



For the trendster:






Crosley Cruiser Portable 3-Speed Turntable

Better get them on the bandwagon before everyone jumps off!

For the rolling stone:

AHAVA Time to Energize Travel Kit for Men

Includes Foam-Free Silk Shave, Exfoliating Cleansing Gel, Soothing After-Shave Moisturizer and Men’s Travel Bag.


For the beauty queen:


Sixteen ultra-pigmented eye shadows infused with soothing botanicals plus a mini Behind The Scenes Eye Primer for color that lasts — because sometimes the difference between getting a little somefin’ somefin’ is a smokey eye. (Plus, it’s made without sulfates, petrochemicals, phthalates, GMOs, or triclosan!)



For the beauty sleeper:

Chezmoi Collection White Goose Down Alternative Comforter

Because why should a cute little goose have to die just because you want to get all snuggly warm with your partner?


For the wifey:

Calvin Klein Women’s Essentials Long Sleeve Night Dress

Because her PJ’s are getting a little gnarly.


For the water hogger:

LED Color Changing Showerhead

Turn your shower into a disco pick-up scene.


For the new mom:

Luna Beads

The best-selling Kegel weight & pleasure bead system on the planet (note: this gift will probably go over best if given by a girlfriend or sister rather than husband!).


For the art appreciator:

“George Platt Lynes: The Male Nudes”

Elegant, cinematic nudes in a hardcover that evoke 1940s Hollywood.


For the posture-obsessed:







Gaiam Balance Ball Chair

Like regular sex, it’s great for your back health.

For the music lover:

HMDX Jam Plus Portable Speaker

Portable and wireless, so you can have a sex playlist going no matter what room you’re christening.


For the hopeless romantic:


BARSKA Starwatcher 400x70mm Refractor Telescope w/ Tabletop Tripod & Carry Case

What could be more romantic than gazing up at the stars together?


Now go check out the rest of our Sexy Holiday Gift Guide!

Em & Lo’s Sexy Holiday Gift Guide: $20 Edition

December 3, 2014


This is the second installment of¬†our five-part series on sexy gift giving¬†this holiday season. We started with the¬†affordable gifts around 10 bucks¬†and are now at the gifts priced between $15 and $25. There are also the¬†$50,¬†$100¬†and $150+ editions. These are not all sex toys, so you’re sure to find something for every adult on your shopping list!



For the bath addict:







Tess & James’ Salty Bath

Give someone special an updated Calgon moment with Tess & James’ aromatherapy salt soak, formulated to release toxins, extract impurities, and soothe skin.

For the audiophile:









Logitech Multimedia Speaker for Smartphone/Tablet/Laptop

This small, portable speaker is perfect for spontaneous boot-knocking that could use some mood music, wherever you are.

For the “Fifty Shades” fan:

Maya Banks’ “Breathless” Trilogy Boxed Set

USA Today¬†said: “For an erotic, BDSM book, this one fits the bill.”


For the long-term partner:

SEX: How to Do Everything” by yours truly, Em & Lo

Because sometimes a couple needs some inspiration (with tasteful pictures!).


For the macho man:

Art of Manliness Collection

Two books in a cigar box with 6 drink coasters — it’ll make him want to be a better man.


For the athlete: 

Philips ActionFit Sports Earhook Headphones

Lightweight and sweat-resistant — sounds perfect for a sex workout. So maybe get two!


For the facial-obsessed:

Olay Pro-X Advanced Cleansing System 0.68 Fl Oz, 1-Count

Not¬†that¬†kind of facial! This is for people really into cleaning their skin (whether or not it’s after a defilement is up to them). And 2,000 Amazon reviewers love it.


For the facial hair grower:

Van Der Hagen Men’s Luxury Shave Set

Upgrade his shaving routine for less scruff burn during oral.


For the ethical facial hair grower:

Parker Safety Razor SYNTHETIC Bristle Shaving Brush with Blue Wood Handle & Free Stand

Because why should a cute little badger have to die just because you want your partner to have baby-bottom skin?


For the humble wine lover:

Libbey Vina 12-Piece Stemless Red and White Wine Glasses

They’ll toast to your great gift-giving skills.


For the domestic goddess:

DC Comics Wonder Woman Apron

Funny, functional, and also kind of hot.


For the domestic god:

DC Comics Superman Apron

We’ll say it again: Funny, functional, and also kind of hot.


For the entirely inappropriate:

Cards Against Humanity

13,000 Amazon reviewers give it 5 stars! One of its “selling points” is that “0% of the proceeds will be donated to the Make-A-Wish Foundation.” Whomever you give this to will be the life of the party they bring it to.


For the sensualist:

LELO’s Tantra Feather Teaser

Adult tickle time in a fancy box.


For the game-night enthusiast:

I Dare You: 30 Sealed Seductions

Sex-writer icon Susie Bright offers up 30 sealed prompts (all in a little gift box) to help make date night more daring.


For the foodie:







Casina Rossa Gourmet Sea Salt Gift Pack (6 x 1.1 oz. Jars)

Spice up someone’s life with these flavored artisan salts: “Truffle & Salt”, “Fennel & Salt”, “Saffron & Salt”, “Fiori & Salt”, “Porcini & Salt”, and new “Herb & Salt.”


For the beer drinker:

Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller, 2-Pack

Helping them keep their beer cold just might make them hot for you.


Be sure to check out the other price brackets in our Sexy Holiday Gift Guide!

Em & Lo’s Sexy Holiday Gift Guide: $10 Edition

December 2, 2014


This is the first installment of¬†our five-part series on sexy gift giving. We start here with the affordable gifts ALL AROUND 10 BUCKS, then, over the next few posts, we’ll work our way up with gifts priced around¬†$25,¬†$50,¬†$100¬†and $150+. They’re not all sex toys, so you’re sure to find something for every adult on your shopping list!


For the married with children:










“Dept. of Speculation” by¬†Jenny Offill

A suspenseful love story that’s romantic and depressing and funny — they’ll read it in one sitting!


For the foodie:

Amco Rub Away Bar

Don’t let them bring their garlic fingers to bed.


For the sex toy collector:

LELO Toy Cleaning Spray

Help them keep their toys shiny and new (and 99.9% germ free)!


For the tech geek:

Quirky Cordies Desktop Cable Management

There are few things sexier than neatly arranged power cords and charging accessory cables.


For the sausage lover: 

“Little Book of Big Penis” (Taschen Pocket Series) edited by¬†Dian Hanson

150 massively endowed models from the 1940s through the 90s. Not that size matters.


For the butt man (or woman):

“Little Book of Butts” edited by Dian Hanson

150-plus pics of female badonkadonk.


For the facial hair grower:

Proraso Shaving Soap, Eucalyptus & Menthol, 5.2 oz (150 ml), New Formulation

A smooth face — all the better to kiss you with.


For the wine aficionado/alchy:

Oster Electric Wine-Bottle Opener

“Drink wine. This is life eternal…” It could also be love eternal after you give this gift. Plus, 2000+ Amazon reviewers can’t be wrong.


For the tensed up:

Ignite Me Massage Candles

Burn the candle, blow out the flame, and drizzle.


For the “Fifty Shades” fan:

“150 Shades of Play” by yours truly, Em & Lo

We didn’t write this review, we swear!: “Em & Lo are irreverent, smart and funny feminists out to demystify the world of kink. Best of all, I caught up on all the juicy info and how-tos without enduring the pain of reading a single page of the¬†Fifty Shades¬†trilogy! Smartly written in an A-Z dictionary style with the book’s other terms usefully bolded throughout. Also loved the sometimes hilarious illustrations.”


For the traveling businessman:

Tenga Egg Masturbation Sleeve

For when you can’t be with the one you love. Peel the outer layer like you would a hard-boiled egg, then crack open the shell to reveal an ‚Äúona-cup‚ÄĚ — each one offers a unique internal texture. Get different strokes from different yolks!


For the vegetarian:

“Crazy Sexy Kitchen: 150 Plant-Empowered Recipes to Ignite a Mouthwatering Revolution” by Kris Carr

150 delicious, nutrient-dense recipes designed to nourish the mind, body, and soul.


For the child of the ’80s:

“In the Pleasure Groove: Love, Death, and Duran Duran” by¬†John Taylor

The hottest member of one of the best bands from the ’80s tells his tale of rock’n'roll, sin, and redemption — with lots of pics!

Be sure to check out the other price brackets in our Sexy Holiday Gift Guide!

Em & Lo’s Sexy Holiday Gift Guide!

December 1, 2014


This is our five-part series on sexy gift giving this holiday season. We start with the affordable gifts around 10 bucks and work our way up with gifts priced around $25, $50, $100 and $150+. They’re not all sex toys, so you’re sure to find something for every adult on your shopping list!

Gifts for Around $10


Gifts for Around $20


Gifts for Around $50


Gifts for Around $100


Gifts for $150+