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Fifty Shades of… Vanilla?

February 13, 2014

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photo via flickr | sponsored post

Back in January we wrote about new research from LELO showing that the kinky sex revolution is waning: Sales of toys such as whips and teasers reached a plateau in the last quarter of 2013, compared with a 50% increase over the same period in 2012. Meanwhile, sales of premium couples massagers and vibrating couples’ rings worn during intercourse increased by 82%, compared with the same period last year.

Anyway, we promised at the time that even more research was forthcoming from LELO, with some initial findings from their 2014 Global Sex Survey. One of our favorite stats so far: One in five women has been involved in a threesome — double that of 2012’s findings — but a whopping 80% of women said that making their fantasies real didn’t live up to their expectations. One to grow on, folks.

In case you were worried that this trend toward “vanilla” sex means we’ll all end up lying back and thinking of England, fear not! This is fifty shades of vanilla (with a cherry on top), which includes everything from threeways to love rings to clitoral vibrators. In other words, this might not be Christian Grey territory, but it’s certainly not your parents’ vanilla sex life, either.

The survey is open for the rest of the 2014 — click here to take part yourself (and you’ll get 20% off your next LELO purchase!). In the meantime, check out the infographic below for even more stats from the LELO sex survey so far…

MORE LIKE THIS ON EMandLO.com:



The Best Naughty Valentine’s Day Gift Sets

February 10, 2014

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1.

For the Massage Junkie:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rub Me The Right Way Kit, $39

  • 1 Ambiance Massage Candle Pear Vanilla
  • 1 Lust Dust Honey Vanilla
  • 1 Rub Me Massage Bar Morning Dew
  • 1 Devour Me Lickable Body Oil Pina Colada
  • 1 Relax Me Fizzy Ball French Vanilla

2.

For the Fifty Shades Fan:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dare Me Pleasure Set, $119

  • Luna Beads Noir
  • Sensua Suede Whip black
  • Etherea Silk Cuffs Black

3.

For the Traveling Business Man:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Members Only Kit, $19

  • 1 Please Stroke Cream 1/2 oz.
  • 1 Tenga Egg Masturbation Sleeve
  • 1 RingO Rangler Stretchy Penis Ring
  • 1 Please Liquid Lube 5mL sample
  • 1 Please Cream Lube 5mL sample
  • 1 Please Gel Lube 5mL sample

4.

For the Lazy Lover:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Adore Me Pleasure Set, $139

  • Mia 2 Rechargeable USB Vibrator in Red
  • Intima Silk Blindfold in Red
  • Sutra Chain Link Cuffs in Red

5.

For the Backdoor-Curious:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prostate Pleasure Kit, $75

  • The Ultimate Guide To Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration For Men And Their Partners
  • Aneros MGX
  • Please Gel Lubricant 2oz

 

6.

For the Uninitiated:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hearts on Fire Kit, $18

  • 1 Waterproof Mini Bullet Vibrator
  • 1 Ignite Me Massage Candle 1 oz
  • 1 Mini Rub Me Massage Bar 1 oz
  • 1 Please Warming Lubricant Sample 5 ml


And the LELO for Best Oral Sex Haiku Goes To…

February 4, 2014

1 Comment

Thank you for your many, many entries into our LELO Oral Sex Haiku Contest! You guys sure do like oral (or oral sex simulators… or LELO pleasure objects of any kind). And thank you especially for heeding to our wishes to leave the explicit stuff on the cutting room floor. Instead, you used beautiful images (from petals unfurling to hummingbirds descending), clever metaphors (from the tide’s arrival to a good book), and a sense of humor (blatant pandering, “FaceTime”) — and one of you even submitted a haiku in Japanese, with an English translation. Now that’s the way we like to haiku about oral sex!

We were incredibly torn when it came to picking a winner, but in the end it came down to Monica A., because she submitted so many wonderful haikus — thirty-seven in total, and any one of them could have been a winner. Congratulations to Monica, she wins a LELO Ora! (And not just because she managed to get “Em and Lo dot com” and “Ora” in a single haiku!) Monica, we hope you receive many years of pleasure — and not a single broken heart or complaint about “high-maintenance demands” — from  your oral sex simulator.

Below Monica’s winning entry, you’ll find our Thirty-Three Honorable Mentions. Yes, thirty-frickin’-three: You guys rocked this one!

THE WINNER:

Mouth on my pistil
I feel like a loaded gun
Lick lick, bang bang boom
– Monica A.

TOP 33 HONORABLE MENTIONS (in no particular order):

How about you go
first and then do me…ok
fine, we’ll sixty-nine.
– Colleen

Pages of my book
Read in detail by your tongue
The perfect bookmark
– Erin D.

Em and lo dot com,
Oral pleasure makes me smile
Ora should be mine!
– Monica A.

I am the quiver
Of sixty thousand starlings
Pulsing as they soar.
– Karah

Kimi no uta,
Yume no kaze desu,
Subarashi yo.

Your music,
The wind in my dream,
It’s wonderful.
– Heather

Who cares about size
Does your tongue work properly?
If so, we’ll be fine
– Monica A.

Peering through the moss
You discover, of all things,
A pearl to be kissed
– Inness

iPhones make me smirk;
“FaceTime” just means something else –
Him pleasuring me
– Monica A.

Eager, lustful wolf
Approaches my flowing stream
Longingly takes sips
– Anna Nicole

What do you mean you
don’t do that? Seriously,
you’re kidding right? Next!
– Colleen

A love note for you –
Spreading you across my desk,
My tongue is the pen…
– Monica A.

ocean waves seduce
lapping at forbidden shores
high tide is coming
– Chris

You’re taller than I,
So it’s a unique pleasure,
Gripping your thick hair
– Inness

Waves lap swollen shores
Until the levee explodes,
Chasing back the sea.
– Karah

wave washed stones, polished
and smooth, as a love song from
the lovelorn ocean.
– Colleen

My lover descends:
A velvet-tongued hummingbird,
Earning my nectar.
– Karah

flickering so fast
flickering woodpecker, oh
wood dont stand a chance
– Tawana

glistening pink rose
peel back each lovely petal,
slowly, rise with sun
– Amy

drowning in a sea
first a ripple, a wave, crash
then floating in bliss
– Amy

A ring of Saturn
Continues to spin nonstop
beautiful colors
– Tawana

Explore the ocean
Search for the man in the boat
Ahoy! you found him
– Tawana

Just a few quick flicks
And I’m where I need to be
Just Ora and me
– Monica A.

Fire passes through me
Underneath love’s canopy
Eat, live, be happy.
– Monica A.

Two is a party
Ready to rock my body
Just Ora and me
– Monica A.

Tongue play is heaven
She touched me once and I learned
Girls do it better
– Monica A.

I have a secret
It’s locked up inside of me
Your tongue is the key
– Monica A.

Her petals unfurl
Under gray dawn’s humid kiss.
The dew drops quiver.
– Karah

Your tongue like an oar
Row my boat faster, harder
Make me come ashore
– Monica A.

A haiku or two
To get me off without you –
Don’t mind if I do.
– Karah

I moan, “Oh my God,”
Bless my body with your tongue
I am no angel.
– Monica A.

Taste my galaxy…
Celestial chaos builds,
Eyes closed… stars explode
– Monica A.

With closed eyes I see
The shimmer of distant suns
Lit by my pleasure.
– Karah

I’m a slip’n’slide,
But don’t slip inside. That’s right –
Stay down there and lick!
– Karah

Read more about the Ora by LELO here

MORE LIKE THIS ON EMandLO.com:



The Best Naughty Valentine’s Gift Sets

January 31, 2014

0 Comments

 

1.

For the Massage Junkie:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rub Me The Right Way Kit, $39

  • 1 Ambiance Massage Candle Pear Vanilla
  • 1 Lust Dust Honey Vanilla
  • 1 Rub Me Massage Bar Morning Dew
  • 1 Devour Me Lickable Body Oil Pina Colada
  • 1 Relax Me Fizzy Ball French Vanilla

2.

For the Fifty Shades Fan:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dare Me Pleasure Set, $119

  • Luna Beads Noir
  • Sensua Suede Whip black
  • Etherea Silk Cuffs Black

3.

For the Traveling Business Man:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Members Only Kit, $19

  • 1 Please Stroke Cream 1/2 oz.
  • 1 Tenga Egg Masturbation Sleeve
  • 1 RingO Rangler Stretchy Penis Ring
  • 1 Please Liquid Lube 5mL sample
  • 1 Please Cream Lube 5mL sample
  • 1 Please Gel Lube 5mL sample

4.

For the Lazy Lover:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Adore Me Pleasure Set, $139

  • Mia 2 Rechargeable USB Vibrator in Red
  • Intima Silk Blindfold in Red
  • Sutra Chain Link Cuffs in Red

5.

For the Backdoor-Curious:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prostate Pleasure Kit, $75

  • The Ultimate Guide To Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration For Men And Their Partners
  • Aneros MGX
  • Please Gel Lubricant 2oz

 

6.

For the Uninitiated:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hearts on Fire Kit, $18

  • 1 Waterproof Mini Bullet Vibrator
  • 1 Ignite Me Massage Candle 1 oz
  • 1 Mini Rub Me Massage Bar 1 oz
  • 1 Please Warming Lubricant Sample 5 ml


Last Chance to Haiku Your Way to a Lelo ORA!

January 30, 2014

1 Comment

sponsored post

*** THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED ***

The deadline for our LELO Ora haiku contest is end of day Friday, January 31st — a deadline specially chosen so that we can get the winner’s toy out before V-Day! So here’s your last chance to wax lyrical about oral sex and win yourself or your sweetie a LELO Ora. Because whether you’re all coupled up for this Hallmark holiday season* or you’re planning on spending V-Day solo, LELO’s brand new oral sex simulator is guaranteed to improve your evening (especially because this oral sex simulator is actually elegant and sophisticated… which isn’t at all surprising in a LELO toy, but is hugely surprising in an oral sex simulator) . To refresh your memory:

We have ONE of these gorgeous pleasure objects to give away, and all you have to do is woo us with your best haiku on oral sex! We’ll publish our favorite haikus here on EMandLO.com, and our very favorite of all will win an Ora by LELO. Here are the rules:

1. Post a haiku in the comments section below, or submit via our contact form here – enter as many times as you like! Just remember to follow the 5/7/5 syllable format.

2. Deadline is end of day Friday, January 31st (so we can get the winner’s toy out before V-Day!).

3. Bonus points for any haikus that are 100% metaphorical.

4. Bonus points for any haikus that feature images from nature.

5. Automatic disqualification for anything too graphic.

6. You must be 18 or over to enter.

8. When you fill out the comment section below or send us a haiku via our contact form, make sure you include a viable email address (which we will keep private) so we can contact you in case you win.

9. Winners who do not claim their prize by responding to the private email from Em & Lo within seven days forfeit their prize, at which time another best haiku will be chosen.

Happy Haiku-ing!

* We have a dream that, a few years from now, people will refer to V-Day is the “vibrator holiday” or the “LELO holiday” or the “pleasure object holiday.”

Read more about the Ora by LELO here

MORE LIKE THIS ON EMandLO.com:



Wax Lyrical About Oral, Win a LELO Ora!

January 24, 2014

89 Comments

sponsored post

*** THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED ***

Earlier this week, we introduced you to the Ora, LELO’s brand new oral sex simulator. (And it’s actually elegant and sophisticated! Which isn’t at all surprising in a LELO toy — but it’s hugely surprising in an oral sex simulator.) Anyway, we have one of these gorgeous pleasure objects to give away, and all you have to do is woo us with your best haiku on oral sex! We’ll publish our favorite haikus here on EMandLO.com, and our very favorite of all will win an Ora by LELO. Here are the rules:

1. Post a haiku in the comments section below, or submit via our contact form here — enter as many times as you like! Just remember to follow the 5/7/5 syllable format.

2. Deadline is end of day Friday, January 31st (so we can get the winner’s toy out before V-Day!).

3. Bonus points for any haikus that are 100% metaphorical.

4. Bonus points for any haikus that feature images from nature.

5. Automatic disqualification for anything too graphic.

6. You must be 18 or over to enter.

8. When you fill out the comment section below or send us a haiku via our contact form, make sure you include a viable email address (which we will keep private) so we can contact you in case you win.

9. Winners who do not claim their prize by responding to the private email from Em & Lo within seven days forfeit their prize, at which time another best haiku will be chosen.

Happy Haiku-ing!

Read more about the Ora by LELO here

MORE LIKE THIS ON EMandLO.com:

 

 



ORA, the World’s Most (Only?) Sophisticated Oral Sex Simulator

January 23, 2014

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sponsored post

Do the folks at LELO ever rest?

They’ve just launched another new, groundbreaking pleasure object: the ORA. Somehow they managed to make an oral sex simulator that’s actually elegant. The ORA offers long swirls and intense pulsations on and around the clitoris, with 10 varied stimulation patterns to choose from (which is great if you don’t always like having to direct your partner from up above).

The ORA includes:

  • 2 different massaging strokes: a swirling full-circle motion and a back-and-forth half circle for faster and more focused stimulation
  • 10 stimulation modes controlled with an easy-to-use 3-button interface
  • New INTENSE Mode for 30% more intensity instantly (when you’re in the home stretch!)
  • Ultra-smooth body-safe silicone exterior
  • 100% waterproof
  • Rechargeable for 1 hour of uninterrupted use (though we imagine you won’t need that long)
  • 1-year warranty & 10-year quality guarantee

Just in time for Valentine’s Day — treat your partner or treat yourself! $169.

 

MORE LIKE THIS ON EMandLO.com:



Funniest Reviews of the iPhone Spin the Bottle App

January 2, 2014

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image via Rankopedia

The iPhone app “Spin the Bottle!” says you must be 17 to download it, but what 17 year old still plays Spin the Bottle?! There are 18,695 (and counting) reviews of this app, almost all of them hilarious. And not one of them, we’re willing to bet, is written by anyone 17 or older. Here are some of our favorites…

5 stars
this is an awesome app!!! i made out with 5 hot girls in 20 minutes!!! the one thing i have wrong with this game is if you land on your same sex. we just had to make a rule no kissing the same sex. maybe find a way to fix it??? great app though. two thumbs up!!!

1 star
Uh….ewwwww. I had a dare to kiss a chic, and Ima chic. That’s discusying! It should say are you a boy or a girl…

5 stars
this game was awesome!! me n my friends played it FOREVER!!!! n when a guy landed on a guy they were just awkward n said “ummmmm…. i’ll pass” lmao XD it wuz hilarious

5 stars
I had to kiss a guy that I had a crush on for years and we had to kiss for 4 min and we started stripping!!!!

5 stars
I love this game i got to kiss a guy ive had a crush on for so many years and it was for 4 min. then one thing lead to another and now where the best couple at school =D

5 stars
daaaaayuuuum. i played this with like 10 hot chicks it was a whole night of action

5 stars
Made out with my girlfriend for 4 mins haha. She got a little jealous when I kissed her friends lol.

1 star
Gross. Its all griss except for the minty kiss. Jk its all gross

5 stars
Dude this is awsome I got two kisses at a party from this really hat girls eigyht

5 stars
I am lesbion and I kissed this girl for 4 min then she turned lesbion how great and then we got jiggy with it after if u know what I mean:)

1 star
Worset ever. I got hep C from using this app to kiss a chick. This is f’ed up.

5 stars
I’m a boy and I kiss a hot chick. She was really hot

4 stars
It’s so cool just add more kisses with tongue and stuff like that

2 stars
I got to kiss my crush, of course I pretended that I didn’t want to because it probably would have seemed weird for him if I acted like I did. But the fact that I also had to kiss my friend is STUPID! It should totally ask u if u r a boy or girl!

4 stars
This is great and everythings cool and smoochy EXCEPT a rlly lame one “shake hands” i mean seriously

5 stars
Best app ever I got to makout with somebody that hated me Now she going out with me

1 star
Needs to be more dirty like taking your clothes of and sleeping!!

4 stars
So it was good but things like blow in ear or kiss elbow should be taken away and replaced with like, go in the closet and make out for 3 mins while the door is locked. Or at least add more action! Well I reccomend this game for bisexual because I did me, my crush, my fave you tube star, and my bff. I got her at least 5 times in 3 mins so it was creppy!

3 stars
I liked this guy for along time and I got the four min one and it was way longer than that and no we did not do it the door wouldn’t open so we just started making out and like ya so I think you should get it and it’s freeeee!!!! But if dont like like I said it’s free and if you wanna do it befor your it can help you and no I did not do it yet so yes Ima virgan and that’s how I want it till I’m married okay by the time your reading this your probly like WTF haha well peace out peps like I said it’s free get it!!!

3 stars
Some of the kisses presented are a bit creepy, such as “kiss your partners freckles.” If you want this app to be a winner, then make it so you can create your own answers. And also, asking someone to “look up” what a butterfly kiss is rediculous.

4 stars
Please add the French kiss

4 stars
This is good if u arent scared to kiss ppl

5 stars
Awesome It’s kinda stupid how it says 18+ when u buy it but I bought it anyway

5 stars
Hot!!!! This game is cool and all but there is no good things in here. I recommend u put better kissing options but dont puss gross stuff like kissing feet or anything i just wanna kissing my crush.

5 stars
Reaaallly fun me and my friends play all the time and even when it repeats better for us haha get this app its reallly cool and helps parties tht arent going so well

5 stars
This got 3 hickeys from smockin’ hot girls get it

4 stars
I mean it’s a pretty good app and everything but come on who’s gonna play spin the bottle on an iPhone all u need is hot girlz and a bottle. It’s still pretty sweet though

1 star
Omg Its not even dirty

1 star
Omg shake hands what the crap is that

5 stars
This game is SO worth it. So people say that shaking hands is stupid, it’s not! What if you got someone you don’t like? Then that saves u.

1 star
I faked my age and did it. It scared me

4 stars
Make it a two players also because my Girlfriend likes to play only with me! Please do it

MORE LIKE THIS ON EMandLO.com:



Em & Lo’s Sexy Holiday Gift Guide

December 19, 2013

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This is our five-part series on sexy gift giving this holiday season. We start with the affordable gifts around 10 bucks and work our way up with gifts priced around $25, $50, $100 and $150+. They’re not all sex toys, so you’re sure to find something for every adult on your shopping list!

Gifts for Around $10

 

Gifts for Around $20

 

Gifts for Around $50

 

Gifts for Around $100

 

Gifts for $150+

 

 

 



Em & Lo’s Sexy Holiday Gift Guide: Big Spender Edition

December 12, 2013

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This is the fifth & final installment of our five-part series on sexy gift giving this holiday season. We started with the affordable gifts around 10 bucks, followed by gifts priced around $20, $50 and $100, and now we’re at the $150 and over mark. They’re not all sex toys, so you’re sure to find something for every adult on your shopping list!

 

1.
For the music lover:

 

 

 

 

 

 

KOHLER K-9245-CP 2.5 GPM Moxie Showerhead and Wireless Speaker, Polished Chrome

This showerhead with wireless rechargeable speaker streams your personalized music playlists, like your “Barry White Love Songs” list. Aw yeah.

$150

 

2.
For the music snob:

 

Bose SoundLink Mini Bluetooth Speaker

Excellent audio performance from the portable, wireless and most compact Bose speaker available — its 7-hour battery life will outlast your Sting-esque tantra sessions.

$199

3.
For the tablet addict:

 

 

 

 

All-New Kindle Fire HDX 8.9″ Tablet

Light large-screen tablet, with HDX display, ultra-fast performance, and front and rear cameras — you know, just a trifle.

$379

 

4.
For the one with a good eye:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Canon EOS Rebel T3 12.2 MP CMOS Digital SLR with 18-55mm IS II Lens and EOS HD Movie Mode

We’re pretty sure that jargon translates into “takes excellent naughty photos.”

$350

 

5.
For the TV junkie:

 

 

 

 

 

TiVo Roamio Pro HD Digital Video Recorder and Streaming Media Player (TCD840300)

Replace their user-unfriendly cable-based DVR with something more elegant. Makes cuddle time on the couch that much more enjoyable.

$574

 

6.
For the rock star (wannabe):

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Schecter Damien Special Electric Guitar – Crimson Red

You can play out your groupie fantasies.

$500

 

7.
For the uber-fit:

 

Nike+ SportWatch GPS Powered by TomTom

Put accurate time, pace/speed, BPMs, heart rate, calories burned, and distance information right in their hands. Then they’ll be putty in your hands.

$166

 

8.
For the one with the “bad back” (wink wink):

 

 

 

 

 

The Smart Wand Body Massager

Give her an upgrade from her beat-up old Hitachi Magic Wand.

$169

 

9.
For the one with cold feet: 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nest Learning Thermostat

They’ll be able to control their home temperature remotely from a smartphone, laptop or tablet so their love nest will be all warm and cozy when they return home — with or without a guest.

$249

 

10.
For the Christian Grey:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Majestic International Men’s Wesley Robe

Wrap your fella in 100% grey silk and let the “Fifty Shades” scenes practically roleplay themselves.

$200

 

11.
For the woman who has everything:

 

 

 

 

LELO’s Exclusive 24-Karat Gold Plated Pleasure Object, “Olga”

This gold-plated pleasure object comes presented in an elegant wooden gift box, complete with manual, satin pouch for stylish storage and a 1-year LELO warranty.

only $3,490!

 

12.
For the man who has everything:

 

 

 

 

LELO’s Distinguished Gentleman’s Plug, “Earl”

This male-G-spot massager comes presented in an elegant wooden gift box, accessorized with matching cufflinks (but of course), manual, satin pouch for stylish storage and a 1-year LELO warranty.

only $2,590!

 

Now go check out affordable gifts around 10 bucks, the $20 fare, the gifts priced around $50, and the $100 numbers. Happy shopping!