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Blog Snog: “Love Actually” Is Actually Not a Good Movie

November 8, 2013

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Top 15 Worst “Sexy” Halloween Costumes

October 20, 2013

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We recently published a top 10 list — only slightly tongue in cheek — of “sexy” Halloween costume ideas for men, in an attempt to balance out the playing field this October 31st. To highlight exactly why the world needs more¬†Sexy John Boehner Crying and Sexy Walter White, here is a top 15 list of the worst “sexy” Halloween costumes for women. All of these costumes actually exist.

 

 

1. Sexy Deer

What’s sexier: Deer in headlights facing down an S.U.V. on the highway, or petrified deer about to be shot down by a hunter? Road kill is sooo hot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. Sexy Nemo

Come on, seriously? You’re Nemo?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. Sexy Skunk

The worst part about skunk sex? The post-coital tomato sauce bath.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. Sexy Chinese Takeout

Mmmm, don’t you just love the smell of leftover Chinese takeout in the morning?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5. Sexy Waldo

We guess you could have fun with a “Where’s Waldo’s penis” treasure hunt…?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6. Sexy Good Sandy

Really? You couldn’t just go as Bad Sandy?
It’s kind of like going as Sexy Hannah Montana.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7. Sexy Clown

Way to scare all of us, not just the children.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8. Sexy Mime

Ha ha ha ha ha. What? Sorry, we  have no words.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9. Sexy Elmo

Hasn’t poor Elmo been through enough sexual trauma already?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10. Sexy R2D2

It’s just not fair to raise a poor nerd’s hopes like that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

11. Sexy Sock Monkey

It’s like you’re actually trying to make some pedophile’s day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

12. Sexy Crayon

If you’re so determined to be sexy that you’re going to sex up a Crayola¬†costume, why would you stick a miniature traffic cone on your head? We just don’t get it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

13. Sexy Keg

Tap this keg, geddit? It’s like a date rape costume!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

14. Sexy Garfield

We never thought we’d say this, but there’s a fine line between looking like Garfield the cat and looking like a Hooters waitress.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

15. Sexy Bacon

Okay, now you’re just f*&#ing with us, right?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Last Chance to Get Mom a Truly Unique Mother’s Day Present!

May 8, 2013

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Lelo’s Etherea Silk Cuffs

This week is your last chance to get something for Mother’s Day. Sure, you could do flowers…again. Or you could get her something she’ll¬†really¬†enjoy: our award-winnging book,¬†150 SHADES OF PLAY: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink!

ORDER FROM AMAZON WITH TWO-DAY DELIVERY (OR PRIME) BY THUR AFTERNOON — OR ONE-DAY DELIVERY BY FRIDAY AFTERNOON — TO GET IT BY SATURDAY!

Here us out: Mom’s loved the¬†Twilight¬†series, but secretly wished there was more sex in it. Along comes the¬†Fifty Shades¬†series, which is essentially¬†Twilight¬†fan faction, and there’s tons of sex….kinky¬†sex. Moms across the country go gaga for it, so much so that it’s dubbed “mommy porn.”

There are just a few problems:

  • Fifty Shades¬†doesn’t tell moms how to incorporate any of this stuff into their own lives
  • it doesn’t mention specific quality products or where to get them
  • it perpetuates myths about kink
  • it even promotes some very dubious (i.e. unsafe) behaviors and techniques

A mom friend of ours recently wrote us, saying she’s been married for a¬†loooooong¬†time and needs some new ideas, asking which book of ours we would recommend. We told her¬†150 SHADES OF PLAY: while it does cover some intense kinky stuff, it also covers the basics; it’s not visually graphic; it has a great sense of humor, which makes it fun and non-intimidating to skim with a husband or partner; it gives readers a vouyeristic look into how extreme some people can get with BDSM which might make them feel more comfortable and confident to try new,¬†mildly¬†kinky things. Because let’s face it: a little toy or light bondage is nothing compared to pony play!

Plus, it just won a 2013 Ippy Award!

So when making the mom in your life a Mother’s Day care package this coming May, remember: flowers are nice, but floggers are nicer.



What’s Your Take on Chest Hair?

March 25, 2013

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photo via Flickr




Blog Snog: 3 Inexpensive But Romantic Holiday Gifts

November 30, 2012

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photo via Flickr



Ancient Pompeii Graffiti Reveals Potty Mouths, Penis Jokes

August 9, 2012

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photo via flickr

A friend just emailed us a link to this collection of awesome (and dirty!) graffiti from Pompeii. We know it seems like it couldn’t possibly be real, but Pompeiana.org seems like a legitimate academic site. (They describe themselves as “an online resource for all things Pompeian… a place for original research by scholars in the fields of art, archaeology, architecture and classics.” And the site is packed with stuffy academic papers — seems like an awful lot of work to go to for a prank.) And besides, Pompeii is known for its phallic and erotic artifacts (and, we suppose now, its poop jokes).

Back in the ancient world, graffiti was actually taken pretty seriously as a form of writing — people would respond to each other’s witticisms, write poetry, draw pictures, etc. And, occasionally, brag about conquests or pine for loved ones or just note that they’d been by. That is, until Mount Vesuvius erupted in A.D. 79 and buried their city under 36 hours’ worth of ashes and stone. But as architects continue to excavate this lost city, more and more graffiti is being uncovered.

Below are some of our favorites, translated from the original Latin of course. We love that the compliments (“Sollemnes, you screw well!”)¬†are as enthusiastic as the insults (“Phileros is a eunuch!”). A bit of graffiti like the following would vastly improve our public bathroom experiences…

Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!

Amplicatus, I know that Icarus is buggering you. Salvius wrote this.

I screwed the barmaid.

Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion.

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered

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Happy Fourth!

July 4, 2012

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photo by foxypar4

We’re taking it a bit easy this week to celebrate the fourth, and we hope you are, too. No posts today, and just two posts a day for the rest of the week. (Please tell us you do notice that we typically bring you three posts a day!!)¬†We’ll return to our regularly scheduled program on Monday. Until then, go do something nice and American like having sex in the back of a pick-up truck.



Great Music to Have Sex To: Patrick Watson

July 3, 2012

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photo via Flickr

Or maybe we should say “great music to make love to” (if we actually used that terminology). It¬†definitely¬†works for making out to. Not frantic rip-off-each-others’-clothes sessions, but more deliberate, sensual interludes that last longer than an hour, the kind earnest teenagers in love engage in.¬†Patrick Watson, the Montreal-based band (fronted by singer-songwriter Patrick Watson, natch), create songs that are ethereal, haunting, and heady — with upright pianos, weepy violins and saws, quirky percussion, guitars occasionally strummed with toothbrushes…¬†And the live versions are even more hypnotic and ultimately climactic than the excellent studio versions. They’re currently on tour in the States through July promoting their fourth album,¬†Adventures in Your Own Backyard. I (Lo) saw them this past weekend at MassMoCA’s cabaret (as part of the museum’s “Oh, Canada” exhibition this summer)

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered



Blog Snog: 007 Signs He Doesn’t Want a Relationship (Or Is a Spy)

April 20, 2012

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photo via Flickr



Will a Sex Strike Give a Bunch of Liberal Guys Blue Balls?

March 19, 2012

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photo via flickr

Where reason fails, satire sometimes works — hence the sudden trend of tongue-in-cheek proposed sex laws, like the “personhood of semen” bill. And where satire fails — will a sex strike work? That’s the hope of a group called Liberal Ladies Who Lunch (love it!). They are proposing a national sex strike from April 28 until May 5 — tagline, “If our reproductive choices are denied, so are yours.”

Now, clearly this is a symbolic gesture more than anything else — after all, a week without sex sounds more like a long-term relationship than a sex strike to us. As compared to, say, the ancient Greek play Lysistrata, wherein the women of Greece go on an actual sex strike to end the decades-long Peloponnesian War. Meaning, they wouldn’t have sex until the war was over, whether that took a week or another decade. Or take Colombia, where in 2006 the girlfriends of gang members in one of the country’s most violent cities, Pereira (it had a murder rate at the time of 97 per 100,000 people), went on strike until their men gave up their weapons. As a result, in 2010, Pereira’s murder rate dropped by 26.5 percent, the steepest decline in the country.

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered