Contributor & MVP commenter Dr. AlanK had this to say in response to a man hoping for an open relationship with his wife:

1. Are you trying to justify an affair you’re already having? Don’t do that! Admit to the affair, try to understand why you had/are having the affair, get your marriage fixed, and only then–depending on how the fixing went–consider opening up.

2. Are you imagining all the wonderful sex you’ll have once you have a hall pass? Bad news, fella: the one thing in the world for which there is an oversupply is dick. If it turns out your wife is actually interested in opening up, she is going to be the popular one.

3. Do you think you can “encourage” your wife into opening up? Unless the two of you have been flirting with idea for a while, you’re more likely to be sleeping in the guest room than in some hotty’s apartment.

Listen to Em & Lo. A man in your position is as likely to successfully open his relationship as he is to find hair on a millennial’s happy bits. If your marriage is unhappy fix it or end it; don’t think opening it will solve anything.

Want a more rosy view of open relationships?
Top 10 Reasons for Being Non-Monogamous

Want to feel better about keeping things closed?
Top 10 Reasons for Being Monogamous