Been there, done that; don’t try. I did this 8-9 years back with my wife, and I insisted, although she was more than reluctant. She was totally opposed in the beginning, but gave up after almost a year of having the same discussion over and over in bed and outside of bed. When she finally said “ok,” more or less to please me, she refused to go alone, so we met a few times at a motel with someone I found online, married, clean and nice otherwise.
The relationship went on for a few months, and eventually he gained our trust, so she started going alone from time to time if I couldn’t join her. At first, she was telling me before, every time she was supposed to go, then I noticed she started to “forget” mentioning when he was calling her at work to meet.
To make it short, one day he suggested they would save money if they started meeting at one of his friend’s house. She was stupid enough to trust him, and went there, where he and two of his friends practically raped her. She was too ashamed to tell me on the spot, because she felt guilty for seeing him lately without my knowledge.
She admitted years later to have been involved with him emotionally. Being raped made her break up with him, but still she didn’t tell me the whole truth until four years later, when I wanted to try again the same thing. Obviously this time she said “no” and she meant it.
Reader Simon offered this cautionary tale in response to our post, “Your Call: I Want My Wife to Have an Affair; She Thinks I’m Nuts“:
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