2/10/10
Comment of the Week – Can Married People Have Opposite-Sex Friends?

Let’s clarify that question: Can/should straight married people have opposite-sex friends? Which begs the question, can/should gay married people have same-sex friends? These questions were inspired by the following recent comment:

I have found that even though I’ve been married for years, I never spend time alone with my husband’s male friends, even men who are part of a couple that my husband and I are super close to. We can have plenty of friendly banter when the couples are all together, but the odd time when one of his friends has stopped by and my husband’s not home, the friend and I seem to have an almost stilted conversation, NEVER any of the playful banter that happens when we’re all together, because I think we’re both very aware of never crossing any lines…

SS commenting on the post “Your Call: My Friend Keeps Hitting On My Wife”


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38 Comments on "Comment of the Week – Can Married People Have Opposite-Sex Friends?"


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Reality Check
5 years 10 months ago

good conversation… Thanks for the posts this was fun. Here is my last post. MLandSpecssay”thank,gawd” I would never wish for specs hubby to cheat on her. I just asked if she has had the thought i listed above. I just made some suggestions. As I will make again. People have a tendency to deceive themselves. When they are lost in self deception and some exterior thought contradicts their pseudo convictions, they will fight and hold onto their right to live in self deception, getting upset and justifying actions. A justification is just and excuse to do something wrong. These individuals… Read more »

Spes
5 years 10 months ago

Huggs! :)

Madamoiselle L
5 years 10 months ago

Oh, when I said “We” I was referring to those of us who DO have friends of different genders.

But, thanks, RC. Spes and I finally agree on something. 😀 Gimme a hug, girl!

Madamoiselle L
5 years 10 months ago

“reality check” said: “That flip flop title of bi-sexual suggests self serving motives and connotates a single lifestyle. Is it fair to call yourself bi if you are in a monogamous relationship and can say i only want to be with and care for the person i am currently with?” END QUOTE YES! I know plenty of Bi people who have settled down with a partner, in a monogamous relationship, with one sex or an other. They are NO less likely to than a straight or Gay or Lesbian person would. Also, I know many bis in committed, monogamous relationships.… Read more »

fuzzy
5 years 10 months ago

Oh dear gods. All of them……I AM bi, and polyamorous, and neither fact has an effect on the other. I had multiple partners–who know about each other, and don’t care—before I decided that I liked all the flavors of people that wanted to like me back. I also have dear friends of both genders that I have no sexual interest in. And for pity’s sake, while it is indeed disrespectful of the theoretically monogamous partnership, having the male member of said partnership go all heavy-handed and lay down the law isn’t going to solve the problems inherent in that relationship.… Read more »

Spes
5 years 10 months ago

“Reality Check” your ignorance is remarkable. If someone is attracted to both genders, then they are bisexual. Period. Just because a bisexual commits to a monogamous relationship doesn’t mean they now only find the gender that the person they’re in a relationship with attractive. Also, they’re have been many homosexuals who have, for various reasons (thankfully this is becoming less prevalent), married someone of the opposite sex (heterosexual marriage). The homosexual didn’t suddenly become bi or heterosexual. WHICH GENDER ONE IS ATTRACTED TO DICTATES ONE’S SEXUALITY, not simply who their current partner is. And no, I’m not worried that my… Read more »

Reality Check
5 years 10 months ago

personal attacks, pretty mature… sorry if i offend. maybe i made a mistake, it was not my purpose to make a personal attack on the the bi community. Personally i have no problem with bi-sexual individuals or the community. Live you life the way you want to. My point was to illustrate frame of mind thought process behind actions, and not leave that group out of the conversation because someone else mentioned the group, (similar to my “friends with genitalia of your liking” reference, to keep homosexual individuals in the conversation)I probably should have said something along the lines of… Read more »

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