You know what makes it easier to like something? Being able to choose freely whether to do it (or have it done to you). That means being pressured is not helpful. Whether it is “but everyone else loves it” peer pressure, some jackass saying you owe them, or some well-meaning person telling you to try try again.
I appreciate people sharing their perspective on how, to them, a blow job is an act that does give the woman a lot of power and is not degrading. And sharing details on how they make it work for them. Good to know.
But the stuff about how “sad” it is that someone doesn’t enjoy it and how they should try again because they must be getting it wrong. Maybe it’s not meant that way, but it’s pretty condescending. You may not have the same beliefs as the people who go around getting into others’ faces about how they’re going to hell if they don’t accept Jesus as their personal savior, but you’re pushing your views in the same patronizing way. That’s crossing a line.
Everyone has different preferences, and that’s okay even if their preferences aren’t the same as “most people”. What’s most important in having a healthy attitude towards sex is not “trying everything” (though, if you want to, have at it), it’s knowing your own wants and needs and respecting the wants and needs of others (even if they differ from you).
In an articulate response to our post, “Dear Em & Lo: I Hate Receiving Blowjobs,” reader Yves compares blowjob peer pressure to ardent evangelism by born-again Christians:
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