Comment of the Week: Virgins Aren’t Sizeists

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“Please don’t kill me for saying this, but as a virgin I’ve come to believe that — at least in my own case — I have an advantage. I could honestly care less if I married a man who was 2 inches, 4 inches or 6 inches. It seems Western society puts too much stock into ’sexual compatibility’ instead of quality compatibility. You could have the most intense, most wonderful sex in the universe…but during the intermission you have the worst relationship. Just my own two cents — and for the record, virgin does not equate close-minded, sex-fearing prude. The first time I get to be intimate with a man when I marry…rest assured he won’t sleep.”

Rosario, commenting on “Advice: My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis

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11 Comments on "Comment of the Week: Virgins Aren’t Sizeists"

5 years 9 months ago

I fully agree with Madamoiselle L here. I grew up in the “Wait until marriage” group, and while I am not going to knock someone’s decision to do so, I think that sexual compatibility is VERY important in a relationship and it needs to be determined in some way or another before you tie the knot. A marriage without a satisfying sexual relationship is probably not gonna last.

Madamoiselle L
5 years 10 months ago

I wouldn’t buy a car without a test drive and preferably taking it home, to see if it fits in my garage, and that the engine and body are in good shape.

I wouldn’t buy a house, (even when I had never bought one before) without several walk throughs, a Home Inspection, and a complete review of the place from rafters to basement, along with making sure the furnace, the air conditioning, the plumbing and the windows work, not to mention that the structural integrity of the building is sound and I like the particular architecture of the house. (Believe me, if it’s a good house, it won’t think you are a whore for insisting on trying it out.)

Just because you’ve never had sex DOES NOT mean that just any kind of sex will be “good” for you. Some women seem to think if they have NO experience, ANY man they marry will be able to please them. NOTHING could be farther from the truth. What if he is the kind of man who barely touches you, orgasms in two minutes, and then falls asleep, only to repeat this EVERY time? What if he can’t get it up at all? What if he isn’t aware or doesn’t care that YOU need to have orgasms, too?

Do you REALLY think you aren’t going to care, “because I don’t know any better?” Hardly. You will care. And, you have NO IDEA if “he won’t sleep” the first time you have sex. You simply don’t know. He may, like I said, get his fill in two minutes and be out like a light. If the two of you have NEVER made love, HOW can you know it’s going to be compatible? (And NO, I don’t think “society” (whoeever they are) Puts “too much” emphasis on sexual compatibility. In fact, there isn’t ENOUGH emphasis on it, in most places.)

The best bet it to sample the goods before purchasing. Just because you have not yet had sex does NOT mean that any old thing he thinks is adequate will automatically work for YOU.

Again, would you buy a car without a test drive?

And, per your “example” there are MANY of us who have fantastic sex lives and wonderful, long lasting relationships, as well. Both are possible. How do we do it? We made sure we both got along nicely AND made love properly before we made the possibly tragic error of making promises (like marriage, which is VERY important) to each other. We made sure by covering ALL the bases.

In fact, I wouldn’t have a man who wouldn’t put both as a priority. But, HOW can you know, if haven’t made love yet? What if he’s HORRIBLE in bed? Worse, what if he’s just selfish? Believe me, even if you were a virgin before, if he’s a selfish lover, (and a LOT of men who were recently virgins themselves take some time to LEARN how to make love and not be selfish) eventually you WILL realize “this sucks” and desire something that satisfies you.

I can’t wrap my head around the “I’ll stay a virgin until I get that white gown, so that anything he considers “good sex” will be the only thing I know, and I won’t desire anything better from him.” It won’t work, honey. Take a few tests drives, or you may make a “purchase” which you really regret.

This has nothing to do with “size” and everything to do with common sense. Get to know everything there is to know about a man (including the way he makes love) before committing to a Vow with him.

5 years 11 months ago

How do you know that the the first time you have sex you will keep him up all night? Thats like the the teenage guy who thinks the first time he’s gonna rock her world. Like most things in life it takes practice to do it right.

5 years 11 months ago

More on the pancake project: a wide spectrum of humanity, from hillbillies to eggheads, is fascinated by high speed collisions. ,

6 years 5 days ago

To be 100% honest… I do think you would care if you married a man with a 2 inch penis… quality compatibility can only take you so far.

Even if you do marry a man with a small penis, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation… there are always ways to make it better.

Have a great weekend!