Comment of the Week: Women Can't Handle Rejection in Bed

photo by faster_panda_kill_kill

Oh, pshaw. Girls often turn down sex for a variety of reasons.

Try being a guy and telling a woman it’s not happening tonight.

Guys get a bad rap sometimes for being sexually aggressive, pushy, not respecting women’s boundaries… but have you ever seen how a woman gets when she’s denied sex!?!? They’re HORRIBLE! They’ll pout, they’ll rub other guys in your face, they’ll call you gay, they’ll threaten to cheat… Awful!

Johnny, commenting on “Wise Guys: How Best to Say Not Tonight Honey?”

Say Something

11 Comments on "Comment of the Week: Women Can't Handle Rejection in Bed"

Sort by:   newest | oldest | most voted

It is extremely rare for me to turn down a female partner’s request for sex, and only when I’m suffering such a bad migraine that the necessary motion is not possible. Otherwise, just say the word and I’ll be raring to go in no time.

Annie, thanks for this: “If, however, you have never made love to a woman without expecting your own cookie in return, then part of what you are experiencing might be the woman’s frustration that she’s pleasured you when she wasn’t in the mood, but that you won’t return the favor.” My perspective on this tends to be from a “let’s break down gender role ridiculousness” place, as well as, like you said, “sex doesn’t begin with his erect penis and end with his orgasm and isn’t defined by penis-in-vagina sex with a photo finish”. I’m grateful to be reminded (by… Read more »

No you’re not the only one.
I’d say the ‘not today line’ is worst for couples who don’t cuddle much. If the only loving body contact is sex, than of course a rejection will be taken personally.


Am I the only female who has made a move been told “Not now, I’m too tired” and then just shrugged said okay then left to go to work?

He literally ran to me after I got home too, in order to apologize for turning me down. It hadn’t occurred to me to feel upset about it until he started to lament the lack of morning sex he had turned down.

In general, I agree women take rejection worse than men. We expect men to be “always ready”, take it personally when they can’t perform/aren’t interested, and make cruel, emasculating comments when the man doesn’t explain to our satisfaction. There is a reason for that old expression about a “woman scorned”. It’s true. While we man not be as physically violent as men, when it comes to verbal take-downs of our lovers, I do think we are far worse than men. And I don’t think this is just American culture….I’ve seen such behavior out of my “sexually liberated” friends from some… Read more »
Madamoiselle L
As I said in the other thread, My Man doesn’t refuse often, but when he does I DO take it personally, UNLESS he tells me why. Mostly because he didn’t SAY why he “rejected me.” Then I pout and start to cry, and he gets upset, and it would have been easier if he had just said SOMETHING to let me know why. I would NEVER bring up an other man I had been with to him. (Although once in a fit of Peri-menopausal rage, I did tell him I would “just get it somewhere else” and I regretted it… Read more »
Quite true- there are many times when I am glad that I’m not male, and that is one of them. As females we’re raised to believe that men are always ready for sex, and it’s difficult not to take it personally until you grow up a bit. And once you’ve learned that and accepted it, then you’re faced with the male sexual slump after they hit their mid-30s, and then you’d better learn not to take it personally or you’re going to be a pretty unhappy camper. Men have as much right to say no as women do, and we… Read more »