Comments for Em & Lo: Sex. Love. And Everything in Between. http://www.emandlo.com Your daily dose of advice, news, and stories about sex, love, and other important stuff. No yoga mat required. Wed, 30 Jul 2014 19:25:50 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Comment on 4 New Routes to Your Orgasm by emandlo http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/5-new-routes-to-your-orgasm/comment-page-1/#comment-74044 emandlo Wed, 30 Jul 2014 19:25:50 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=29197#comment-74044 Ha! We can count! Fixed now, thanks. Ha! We can count! Fixed now, thanks.

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Comment on Your Call: Can I Tell My Married Boyfriend’s Wife About Us? by Ralphie http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/your-call-can-i-tell-my-married-boyfriends-wife-about-us/comment-page-1/#comment-74043 Ralphie Wed, 30 Jul 2014 19:08:44 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=29606#comment-74043 Some states recognize a tort of interference with a marriage. Other states recognize a claim of alienation of affection, with the outside party being brought into the claim as the proximate cause of the alienation. There can be serious consequences to telling your former paramour's spouse. As for him telling you, once again, that it is over between him and his wife, don't believe it. According to your description, he's lied to you about leaving his wife before. When she makes the call to the divorce lawyer, you may find yourself part of a lawsuit. Some states recognize a tort of interference with a marriage. Other states recognize a claim of alienation of affection, with the outside party being brought into the claim as the proximate cause of the alienation. There can be serious consequences to telling your former paramour’s spouse. As for him telling you, once again, that it is over between him and his wife, don’t believe it. According to your description, he’s lied to you about leaving his wife before. When she makes the call to the divorce lawyer, you may find yourself part of a lawsuit.

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Comment on Your Call: Can I Tell My Married Boyfriend’s Wife About Us? by J http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/your-call-can-i-tell-my-married-boyfriends-wife-about-us/comment-page-1/#comment-74042 J Wed, 30 Jul 2014 18:10:30 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=29606#comment-74042 Telling her isn't going to get you what you want or any kind of happy ending. It will only create a shit storm of the emotional and legal variety. Did you know the other woman/ man can be sued? Just walk away and find a man with some decency. Telling her isn’t going to get you what you want or any kind of happy ending. It will only create a shit storm of the emotional and legal variety. Did you know the other woman/ man can be sued? Just walk away and find a man with some decency.

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Comment on 4 New Routes to Your Orgasm by Mark http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/5-new-routes-to-your-orgasm/comment-page-1/#comment-74041 Mark Wed, 30 Jul 2014 14:06:13 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=29197#comment-74041 Wait, that's only 4! Unless the 5th one has something to do with teasing... ;-) Wait, that’s only 4! Unless the 5th one has something to do with teasing… ;-)

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Comment on Your Call – He’s Kinky, She’s Vanilla, Is the Relationship Doomed? by Powerfully Defenceless http://www.emandlo.com/2010/06/your-call-hes-kinky-shes-vanilla-is-the-relationship-doomed/comment-page-2/#comment-74040 Powerfully Defenceless Wed, 30 Jul 2014 09:10:25 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=10509#comment-74040 I was reading these posts and had to drop in. I’m kind of sad and broken feeling right now. I have a wife who is a beautiful lady and best friend. Not the cliché my girls my friend but seriously the one person in the world I can decompress with. I’m away from home a lot due to work but she’s my world. That all said I have been spending all night researching divorce and psychology of dysfunctional relationship sites. We’ve been together 6 years and honestly we always had sexual incompatibility problems but she is such a baddass that I stuck with it and compromised. I have had a lot of power play in my past as well as “vanilla” though I hate that term. It’s all so beautiful saying its one flavor or that really does it injustice like saying it’s a flower or tree. There are so many varieties. I don’t need power play all the time nor do I want it. I think there’s a time and a place. I don’t want to beat my wife or have her do what I say. I’d say 90% of the time in day to day life I just defer to her judgment on things cus I love seeing her smile the other 10 I instantly get my way cus she appreciates me giving her the rains most of the time. We don’t have kids though we’ve tried. Stress for another day. Due to trying we have a ton of sex. She’ll try almost anything I want… here’s the rub. When we started I was clear on my past. I use to be a man whore. Not literally. Didn’t get paid but I had low esteem and low standards. I was abused as a child. Not sexually just choked out bottles broken on my head tossed down stairs. You know the usual… sorry bad joke. I inappropriately joke a lot, wife does to… We like it… anyway. I was abused like that but I suppose some can’t laugh about it after. I was crazy as a teen-early 20’s drink fight and fuck every night. My first few apartments looked like Swiss cheese from all the holes. I’ve never hit a woman though I have remodeled a couple walls next to them under extreme provocation. I met a Dom in my early 20’s and that was my first adventure into the world of kink. She was kind and cruel. Heartless and all encompassingly caring. Readers digest she, over time, broke me down to the point I snapped and regressed to that scared little kid in a corner with the 300 lb gorilla cracking his bones over and over. But shed bring me back. And did that over and over. One day I didn’t cry. Another I didn’t scream. Another I didn’t flinch and magically I lost my fear. I have not once even had to fight back rage since then. See my rage was really fear of being powerless. I thought power was either given or taken with no in-between. Now I know true power is restraint courage and conviction. The man who takes 5 to the gut but still defends his family and friends ignoring the pain, not the shooter. My dad had no power, just fear dumped onto a little defenseless child and his mother. My Dom gave me this gift and set me free. I went back to vanill…. No I’ll just call um strait relationships. Like strait or kinked not the other way… stupid words have too many pointless meanings…. Anyway… relationships life rinse repeat, found a girl broken and scared. Fast forward my relationship with my Dom roles switched she was fixed set her free. I’m still friends with my Dom and sub by the way. Were all doing awesome in life kicking ass and taking money =b confidence and a lack of fear is awesome. So all that said I wouldn’t have married any of them. We just weren’t compatible in other ways. So back to the now. My wife has been with 3 other people and has an amazing family. At first she would try anything but isn’t into kink at all. In fact she loves sex but only quickies. Takes her maybe five min tops to get off then she’s done. She’ll let me finish but it’s all me at that point. I have skill let me tell you… and I’m not lying and to prove it, not hung. No issues with it. Can make any girl squirt with 2 fingers and my voice, bam! But one she’s done. She can have more but they hurt her 3 or 4 and she’s hating life. She just seizes up to hard when it happens. Me I’m an all-night man. Quickies are fun but I love foreplay. She is getting better but honestly doesn’t see the point. Her hitting on me is turning and saying we should fuck. All the romance is for me to. She doesn’t get it but trys? Ish? I like dirty talk, ya, fuck my daddy pump that hot cum in mama. She trys that to but basically I need to tell her what to say most of the time and she always feels and sounds awkward. The biggest thing, the bdsm thing. We use to try. Couple times she started crying. I’d stop but she’d say keep goin, get what you need. Sometimes I was like fuck this, not out loud, and tried to cool her down. She was broken for days thinking she failed. Couple times I was like ok I got this and pushed her through it. No dice either. She basically said you’re an asshole and locked herself in the bathroom to cry… I don’t like feeling like I actually raped my wife. I domdroped hard a lot when we had sessions. I eventually stopped trying. I want her to smile. She doesn’t like blowjobs, or even me going down on her. All she wants is missionary or doggy quickies constantly. 2x a day on average. Sometimes more sometimes less. We fought a lot at first which for us is calmly talking, we don’t yell. And almost split but settled on me going slow and her having time to grow into it but she just instantly gives up and makes me feel it’s hurting her. Well that’s supposed to happen but not that way, a bad way. This made me stop trying to push her and stop trying. But we stayed cus were as close to sole mates as I’ve ever even met in a female anywhere. The best friend ever out of everyone. But 6 years later our sex is stagnant. I have trouble keeping it up sometimes and mostly just get her off then just tell her I’m tired and we stop. Its starting to distance us. I don’t even know how to talk about it anymore cus we have over and over and she always just says sorry I’ll try harder and nothing happiness…. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t see it as evil or an addiction. It saved my life and I have friends that have entire play rooms dedicated to role play that have wonderful kids and happy compromising lives. To me it’s a physical statement of love saying I want to control every aspect of you you beautiful person as you cry and cum in my arms. Or I want to give myself to you cus you are the one I chose to control my everything. O btw I’m a switch. She’s not dominant either and thinks its awkward. We talk about everything but I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t think I can meet anyone like her again… but I know on this road I might eventually cheat and I hate cheaters. Or I’ll just continue to die inside. Which I feel like I’m doing. Shriveling into slow isolation cus I can’t express myself the way I need to to the only person I care to express myself to. I don’t know what advice I’m asking for by putting this out into the aether. I just can’t lose her but I can’t stay this course and talking about everything works for everything except this even on pain of separation. She just makes me think she’ll try then does but doesn’t cus her hearts not in it. No matter how much she wants it to be. I can walk from anything but I can’t walk from her… or myself… I was reading these posts and had to drop in. I’m kind of sad and broken feeling right now. I have a wife who is a beautiful lady and best friend. Not the cliché my girls my friend but seriously the one person in the world I can decompress with. I’m away from home a lot due to work but she’s my world. That all said I have been spending all night researching divorce and psychology of dysfunctional relationship sites. We’ve been together 6 years and honestly we always had sexual incompatibility problems but she is such a baddass that I stuck with it and compromised. I have had a lot of power play in my past as well as “vanilla” though I hate that term. It’s all so beautiful saying its one flavor or that really does it injustice like saying it’s a flower or tree. There are so many varieties.
I don’t need power play all the time nor do I want it. I think there’s a time and a place. I don’t want to beat my wife or have her do what I say. I’d say 90% of the time in day to day life I just defer to her judgment on things cus I love seeing her smile the other 10 I instantly get my way cus she appreciates me giving her the rains most of the time. We don’t have kids though we’ve tried. Stress for another day. Due to trying we have a ton of sex. She’ll try almost anything I want… here’s the rub.
When we started I was clear on my past. I use to be a man whore. Not literally. Didn’t get paid but I had low esteem and low standards. I was abused as a child. Not sexually just choked out bottles broken on my head tossed down stairs. You know the usual… sorry bad joke. I inappropriately joke a lot, wife does to… We like it… anyway. I was abused like that but I suppose some can’t laugh about it after.
I was crazy as a teen-early 20’s drink fight and fuck every night. My first few apartments looked like Swiss cheese from all the holes. I’ve never hit a woman though I have remodeled a couple walls next to them under extreme provocation. I met a Dom in my early 20’s and that was my first adventure into the world of kink. She was kind and cruel. Heartless and all encompassingly caring. Readers digest she, over time, broke me down to the point I snapped and regressed to that scared little kid in a corner with the 300 lb gorilla cracking his bones over and over. But shed bring me back. And did that over and over. One day I didn’t cry. Another I didn’t scream. Another I didn’t flinch and magically I lost my fear. I have not once even had to fight back rage since then. See my rage was really fear of being powerless. I thought power was either given or taken with no in-between. Now I know true power is restraint courage and conviction. The man who takes 5 to the gut but still defends his family and friends ignoring the pain, not the shooter. My dad had no power, just fear dumped onto a little defenseless child and his mother. My Dom gave me this gift and set me free.
I went back to vanill…. No I’ll just call um strait relationships. Like strait or kinked not the other way… stupid words have too many pointless meanings…. Anyway… relationships life rinse repeat, found a girl broken and scared. Fast forward my relationship with my Dom roles switched she was fixed set her free. I’m still friends with my Dom and sub by the way. Were all doing awesome in life kicking ass and taking money =b confidence and a lack of fear is awesome. So all that said I wouldn’t have married any of them. We just weren’t compatible in other ways. So back to the now.
My wife has been with 3 other people and has an amazing family. At first she would try anything but isn’t into kink at all. In fact she loves sex but only quickies. Takes her maybe five min tops to get off then she’s done. She’ll let me finish but it’s all me at that point. I have skill let me tell you… and I’m not lying and to prove it, not hung. No issues with it. Can make any girl squirt with 2 fingers and my voice, bam! But one she’s done. She can have more but they hurt her 3 or 4 and she’s hating life. She just seizes up to hard when it happens. Me I’m an all-night man. Quickies are fun but I love foreplay. She is getting better but honestly doesn’t see the point. Her hitting on me is turning and saying we should fuck. All the romance is for me to. She doesn’t get it but trys? Ish? I like dirty talk, ya, fuck my daddy pump that hot cum in mama. She trys that to but basically I need to tell her what to say most of the time and she always feels and sounds awkward.
The biggest thing, the bdsm thing. We use to try. Couple times she started crying. I’d stop but she’d say keep goin, get what you need. Sometimes I was like fuck this, not out loud, and tried to cool her down. She was broken for days thinking she failed. Couple times I was like ok I got this and pushed her through it. No dice either. She basically said you’re an asshole and locked herself in the bathroom to cry… I don’t like feeling like I actually raped my wife. I domdroped hard a lot when we had sessions. I eventually stopped trying. I want her to smile. She doesn’t like blowjobs, or even me going down on her. All she wants is missionary or doggy quickies constantly. 2x a day on average. Sometimes more sometimes less.
We fought a lot at first which for us is calmly talking, we don’t yell. And almost split but settled on me going slow and her having time to grow into it but she just instantly gives up and makes me feel it’s hurting her. Well that’s supposed to happen but not that way, a bad way. This made me stop trying to push her and stop trying. But we stayed cus were as close to sole mates as I’ve ever even met in a female anywhere. The best friend ever out of everyone. But 6 years later our sex is stagnant. I have trouble keeping it up sometimes and mostly just get her off then just tell her I’m tired and we stop. Its starting to distance us. I don’t even know how to talk about it anymore cus we have over and over and she always just says sorry I’ll try harder and nothing happiness…. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t see it as evil or an addiction. It saved my life and I have friends that have entire play rooms dedicated to role play that have wonderful kids and happy compromising lives. To me it’s a physical statement of love saying I want to control every aspect of you you beautiful person as you cry and cum in my arms. Or I want to give myself to you cus you are the one I chose to control my everything.
O btw I’m a switch. She’s not dominant either and thinks its awkward. We talk about everything but I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t think I can meet anyone like her again… but I know on this road I might eventually cheat and I hate cheaters. Or I’ll just continue to die inside. Which I feel like I’m doing. Shriveling into slow isolation cus I can’t express myself the way I need to to the only person I care to express myself to.
I don’t know what advice I’m asking for by putting this out into the aether. I just can’t lose her but I can’t stay this course and talking about everything works for everything except this even on pain of separation. She just makes me think she’ll try then does but doesn’t cus her hearts not in it. No matter how much she wants it to be.
I can walk from anything but I can’t walk from her… or myself…

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Comment on Your Call: Can I Tell My Married Boyfriend’s Wife About Us? by Pigeon http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/your-call-can-i-tell-my-married-boyfriends-wife-about-us/comment-page-1/#comment-74034 Pigeon Mon, 28 Jul 2014 21:22:41 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=29606#comment-74034 My feeling is that if he was going to tell her and leave her he would have done so *before* getting involved with you. You're most likely filling a void that his wife wasn't providing- sex, happiness (she sounds pretty depressed) or just that "new relationship" feeling which he's probably lost years ago with his wife. Find someone worthy of your time- if he's doing this to her, what's stopping him from doing it to you in the future? My feeling is that if he was going to tell her and leave her he would have done so *before* getting involved with you.

You’re most likely filling a void that his wife wasn’t providing- sex, happiness (she sounds pretty depressed) or just that “new relationship” feeling which he’s probably lost years ago with his wife.

Find someone worthy of your time- if he’s doing this to her, what’s stopping him from doing it to you in the future?

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Comment on Your Call: Can I Tell My Married Boyfriend’s Wife About Us? by Johnny http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/your-call-can-i-tell-my-married-boyfriends-wife-about-us/comment-page-1/#comment-74033 Johnny Mon, 28 Jul 2014 14:47:55 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=29606#comment-74033 What are you trying to do, finish his wife off? Don't be sadistic. Just walk away. And remeber in the future not to take a cheater at his word. What are you trying to do, finish his wife off? Don’t be sadistic. Just walk away. And remeber in the future not to take a cheater at his word.

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Comment on KEGEL WEEK: Dear Dr. Kate, How Do I Tighten Up Down There by discovery http://www.emandlo.com/2012/08/kegel-week-dear-dr-kate-how-do-i-tighten-up-down-there/comment-page-1/#comment-74029 discovery Fri, 25 Jul 2014 23:41:11 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=19632#comment-74029 This is eye opening. http://breakingmuscle.com/womens-fitness/stop-doing-kegels-real-pelvic-floor-advice-for-women-and-men I'll definitely be doing squats as week as kegels. Makes me wonder if a nice butt implies good vaginal muscle health too. Add far as composing, if it's comfortable, wipe away some juice. Getting really lubricated can reduce friction and guys can't always tell why the friction is gone just that it feels good so want more. This is eye opening.
http://breakingmuscle.com/womens-fitness/stop-doing-kegels-real-pelvic-floor-advice-for-women-and-men
I’ll definitely be doing squats as week as kegels. Makes me wonder if a nice butt implies good vaginal muscle health too.
Add far as composing, if it’s comfortable, wipe away some juice. Getting really lubricated can reduce friction and guys can’t always tell why the friction is gone just that it feels good so want more.

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Comment on Your Call: She Doesn’t Like Going Down by lolol http://www.emandlo.com/2011/06/your-call-she-doesnt-like-going-down/comment-page-1/#comment-74022 lolol Fri, 25 Jul 2014 01:37:24 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=15342#comment-74022 loool@the guys for who it is a dealbreaker or who would leave their partner for not getting a blowjob. GROW THE FUCK UP loool@the guys for who it is a dealbreaker or who would leave their partner for not getting a blowjob. GROW THE FUCK UP

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Comment on Design Your Own Sex Toy, Win Fame and Cash! by Jessica http://www.emandlo.com/2011/02/design-your-own-sex-toy-win-fame-and-cash/comment-page-1/#comment-74008 Jessica Wed, 23 Jul 2014 02:41:18 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=14413#comment-74008 I have an idea for a sex toy. You could call it "The Triton". 3 dildos, one for anal, one for vaginal, and the third for the clitoris, they could all vibrate. If that wouldn't increase an orgasim entirely, I don't know what will. I have an idea for a sex toy. You could call it “The Triton”. 3 dildos, one for anal, one for vaginal, and the third for the clitoris, they could all vibrate. If that wouldn’t increase an orgasim entirely, I don’t know what will.

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