Comments for Em & Lo: Sex. Love. And Everything in Between. http://www.emandlo.com Your daily dose of advice, news, and stories about sex, love, and other important stuff. No yoga mat required. Thu, 24 Apr 2014 02:56:30 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Comment on Dear Em & Lo: How Can I Find a Man to Love My Enlarged Labia? by Ace+Card http://www.emandlo.com/2014/04/dear-em-lo-how-can-i-find-a-man-wholl-love-my-enlarged-labia/comment-page-1/#comment-73195 Ace+Card Thu, 24 Apr 2014 02:56:30 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=28224#comment-73195 Many men find large labias extremely exciting! That's the beauty of the internet. You can easily see on the net that you are not abnormal or weird. Just type it in and you will find a large community of people who go nuts for such a fetish. I personally find large labias beautiful, exciting and extremely erotic. Plus they feel great against the penis, they offer more stimulation and they also help to collect and keep your natural vaginal lubricant as he is thrusting, making the sex so much hotter. Stop worrying about a few men who are too closed minded to figure out the incredible benefits of large vaginal lips. Just enjoy them and find a man who will be smart and lucky enough to enjoy the extra stimulation that your lips provide. You were truly given a gift so enjoy them! Many men find large labias extremely exciting! That’s the beauty of the internet. You can easily see on the net that you are not abnormal or weird. Just type it in and you will find a large community of people who go nuts for such a fetish. I personally find large labias beautiful, exciting and extremely erotic. Plus they feel great against the penis, they offer more stimulation and they also help to collect and keep your natural vaginal lubricant as he is thrusting, making the sex so much hotter. Stop worrying about a few men who are too closed minded to figure out the incredible benefits of large vaginal lips. Just enjoy them and find a man who will be smart and lucky enough to enjoy the extra stimulation that your lips provide. You were truly given a gift so enjoy them!

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Comment on Wise Guys: How to Make Fireworks in the Bedroom by Ace Card http://www.emandlo.com/2013/07/wise-guys-how-to-make-fireworks-in-the-bedroom-2/comment-page-1/#comment-73193 Ace Card Thu, 24 Apr 2014 02:24:01 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=24455#comment-73193 I think Fred hit the nail on the haid. A big part of good sex is not what you do in bed but what you do out of bed before getting it on! It's all about the set up! You have to get your partner all primed up and excited hours even days before the actual sex. That's what get's the fireworks going! I think Fred hit the nail on the haid. A big part of good sex is not what you do in bed but what you do out of bed before getting it on! It’s all about the set up! You have to get your partner all primed up and excited hours even days before the actual sex. That’s what get’s the fireworks going!

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Comment on 4 Early Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship by Tony http://www.emandlo.com/2014/04/4-warning-signs-of-a-toxic-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-73191 Tony Thu, 24 Apr 2014 01:01:46 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=28220#comment-73191 I have no idea how the emoticon got there - please disregard that. I have no idea how the emoticon got there – please disregard that.

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Comment on 4 Early Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship by Tony http://www.emandlo.com/2014/04/4-warning-signs-of-a-toxic-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-73190 Tony Thu, 24 Apr 2014 01:01:25 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=28220#comment-73190 Oh, where to start . . . sadly, I can add several from a past failed relationship. 1) Watch how they treat their enemies, or people that they feel superior to. If they feel justified in being vicious towards exes and such, they will probably treat you similarly (once the romance wears off) during disagreements. 2) Bizarre rejections. After performing oral sex on her, they developed a UTI. They refused to ever let me perform oral sex on them because I "wasn't sympathetic enough" to the pain that they were in from the bladder infection. Another example is cutting the mattress pad in half on the bed so they have separate sheets from you. 3) Unwillingness or inability to talk about prior traumas or hurts (at certain stages of intimacy). Someone who has a trauma history that they claim has been "completely dealt with" but won't talk about may well have not dealt with it at all. They then may start attacking you and casting you in the same light as past individuals whom they claim were abusive as well. 4) Unwillingness to take responsibility for their own words or actions, or even to examine their own behaviors. In a marital therapy session, a therapist asked me what I was willing to change for my partner. I listen one way that I would try to be different for her sake. When the therapist asked her the same question, she simply kept attacking me and wouldn't even consider the idea that she needed to change anything. 5) How they argue and handle conflict. If their way of dealing with disagreements is to attack/yell/go on the offensive, watch out. Also if they won't stay on topic but keep switching around in order to keep attacking you. If they really go for weak spots or if they are unusually vicious, get out. My ex once told me, "I don't love you, I don't trust you, and I'd rather be raped again than have you touch me." This was over several verbal disagreeents that were standard domestic squabbles (I recall them as being quite minor). 6) Listen to your gut. Do you feel SAFE with this person? If the answer is "no" (assuming that your gut is reliable), get out. 7) Prior history. If they have a history of multiple failed relationships (intimate, work, family, friends, et cetera), chances are that they are at least partially responsible for that. If they are aware of this, take responsibility for their own words & actions, and have worked on themselves to change that, that may be fine. However, someone who talks about a litany of people who have wronged them in the past "but you're different! I would never say that about you" will probably turn on you in the future no matter what you do. 8) Any partner should treat you AT LEAST as well as a good friend. AT LEAST. 9) Your friends and family warn you that this person isn't a good choice. Especially if your partner treats your friends and family poorly for no good reason. All of the above are, unfortunately, personal examples from a very destructive and abusive relationship. I hope that this is of benefit to someone to avoid a potential nightmare of a relationship in the future. Oh, where to start . . . sadly, I can add several from a past failed relationship.

1) Watch how they treat their enemies, or people that they feel superior to. If they feel justified in being vicious towards exes and such, they will probably treat you similarly (once the romance wears off) during disagreements.

2) Bizarre rejections. After performing oral sex on her, they developed a UTI. They refused to ever let me perform oral sex on them because I “wasn’t sympathetic enough” to the pain that they were in from the bladder infection. Another example is cutting the mattress pad in half on the bed so they have separate sheets from you.

3) Unwillingness or inability to talk about prior traumas or hurts (at certain stages of intimacy). Someone who has a trauma history that they claim has been “completely dealt with” but won’t talk about may well have not dealt with it at all. They then may start attacking you and casting you in the same light as past individuals whom they claim were abusive as well.

4) Unwillingness to take responsibility for their own words or actions, or even to examine their own behaviors. In a marital therapy session, a therapist asked me what I was willing to change for my partner. I listen one way that I would try to be different for her sake. When the therapist asked her the same question, she simply kept attacking me and wouldn’t even consider the idea that she needed to change anything.

5) How they argue and handle conflict. If their way of dealing with disagreements is to attack/yell/go on the offensive, watch out. Also if they won’t stay on topic but keep switching around in order to keep attacking you. If they really go for weak spots or if they are unusually vicious, get out. My ex once told me, “I don’t love you, I don’t trust you, and I’d rather be raped again than have you touch me.” This was over several verbal disagreeents that were standard domestic squabbles (I recall them as being quite minor).

6) Listen to your gut. Do you feel SAFE with this person? If the answer is “no” (assuming that your gut is reliable), get out.

7) Prior history. If they have a history of multiple failed relationships (intimate, work, family, friends, et cetera), chances are that they are at least partially responsible for that. If they are aware of this, take responsibility for their own words & actions, and have worked on themselves to change that, that may be fine. However, someone who talks about a litany of people who have wronged them in the past “but you’re different! I would never say that about you” will probably turn on you in the future no matter what you do.

8) Any partner should treat you AT LEAST as well as a good friend. AT LEAST.

9) Your friends and family warn you that this person isn’t a good choice. Especially if your partner treats your friends and family poorly for no good reason.

All of the above are, unfortunately, personal examples from a very destructive and abusive relationship. I hope that this is of benefit to someone to avoid a potential nightmare of a relationship in the future.

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Comment on Dear Em & Lo: How Can I Find a Man to Love My Enlarged Labia? by Tony http://www.emandlo.com/2014/04/dear-em-lo-how-can-i-find-a-man-wholl-love-my-enlarged-labia/comment-page-1/#comment-73187 Tony Thu, 24 Apr 2014 00:37:48 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=28224#comment-73187 As a guy, I agree with pretty much everything Em and Lo said above. I would simply try to find a great guy who cares about you (and vice versa). I remember a few lines from a book a while back - any guy who respects you as a person and has enough empathy to be worth having will at least be understanding about your body image issues and may well be insecure about his own body (anything from muscles to hair to penis size/shape/circumcision status to whatever). Chances are, he will probably be delighted just to be naked with you. You may well need new guy friends, or at least your current friends need an attitude adjustment. I have actually never heard any of my male or female friends make disparaging remarks about labia in my life, and I'm well out of college. In fact, I haven't heard of anyone making such comments until reading about it on the internet several years ago. Lastly, some guys would prefer a partner with larger labia. Ideally, they like being with you, and your labia are just another plus. Good luck! As a guy, I agree with pretty much everything Em and Lo said above. I would simply try to find a great guy who cares about you (and vice versa).

I remember a few lines from a book a while back – any guy who respects you as a person and has enough empathy to be worth having will at least be understanding about your body image issues and may well be insecure about his own body (anything from muscles to hair to penis size/shape/circumcision status to whatever). Chances are, he will probably be delighted just to be naked with you.

You may well need new guy friends, or at least your current friends need an attitude adjustment. I have actually never heard any of my male or female friends make disparaging remarks about labia in my life, and I’m well out of college. In fact, I haven’t heard of anyone making such comments until reading about it on the internet several years ago.

Lastly, some guys would prefer a partner with larger labia. Ideally, they like being with you, and your labia are just another plus.

Good luck!

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Comment on Your Call: I Finally Escaped a 13-Year Toxic Marriage. Now What? by Ted http://www.emandlo.com/2014/04/your-call-i-finally-escaped-a-13-year-toxic-marriage-now-what/comment-page-1/#comment-73178 Ted Wed, 23 Apr 2014 19:52:11 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=28047#comment-73178 Tony can you describe the abusive wife issue. Thanks Ted Tony can you describe the abusive wife issue.

Thanks

Ted

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Comment on Dear Dr. Kate: Can the Cervix Get Hurt During Intercourse? by simon http://www.emandlo.com/2012/01/dear-dr-kate-can-the-cervix-get-hurt-during-intercourse/comment-page-1/#comment-73176 simon Wed, 23 Apr 2014 18:06:43 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=17403#comment-73176 Love this website it educates the nation Love this website it educates the nation

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Comment on Dream Interpretation: My Guy Friend Kisses Me Like My Boyfriend Does by Mila http://www.emandlo.com/2012/01/dream-interpretation-my-guy-friend-kisses-me-like-my-boyfriend-does/comment-page-1/#comment-73153 Mila Tue, 22 Apr 2014 15:38:06 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=17328#comment-73153 I had a dream lastnite that I was in a relationship with two guys (one was a random)and the other(was a friend of mine). I romanced with the two for a bit seperately but then ended up growing bored with the random guy, so I dropped him and continued venturing love with my friend. This love grew stronger and stronger and my heart fell for him deeper. I know this was a dream but it felt so real and right! In reality I hardly see him and me and him have never really been sweet on eachother-so!-what does this mean?" Please help me figure this out Thankyou :) I had a dream lastnite that I was in a relationship with two guys (one was a random)and the other(was a friend of mine). I romanced with the two for a bit seperately but then ended up growing bored with the random guy, so I dropped him and continued venturing love with my friend. This love grew stronger and stronger and my heart fell for him deeper. I know this was a dream but it felt so real and right! In reality I hardly see him and me and him have never really been sweet on eachother-so!-what does this mean?” Please help me figure this out
Thankyou :)

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Comment on Top 10 Unsexy Things That Can Improve Your Sex Life by Moreno http://www.emandlo.com/2013/03/top-10-unsexy-things-that-can-improve-your-sex-life/comment-page-1/#comment-73148 Moreno Mon, 21 Apr 2014 23:11:53 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=23199#comment-73148 The best things that we can do to improve our sex life beside increase our health body is to build our helthy mind, that's where our mood come from. Talking about sex are talking about passion. And mood is play in this roole, so i choose to practice yoga, that is a great way to build our mood. The best things that we can do to improve our sex life beside increase our health body is to build our helthy mind, that’s where our mood come from. Talking about sex are talking about passion. And mood is play in this roole, so i choose to practice yoga, that is a great way to build our mood.

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Comment on Baby Talk: Intimacy Tool or Just Plain Gross? by TaimaChan http://www.emandlo.com/2010/01/baby-talk-intimacy-tool-or-just-plain-gross/comment-page-1/#comment-73147 TaimaChan Mon, 21 Apr 2014 23:05:55 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=8093#comment-73147 I like most kinds of roleplay but not adult baby :/ I am infantile in many ways being 5ft looling ten years younger than I am, liking stuffed animals and hello kitty. I do however have my intensely sexual side too. I dont say goo goo ga ga but my BF and I have special words for penis (cakestack), vagina (tastyfish).. Both to do with his chef profession and obsession with seafood. We tend to pluralize some words or turn nouns into verbs (bed to bedding as in getting into bed) or putting a before things. Like going a sleepies or getting in a cosies. Fart is poot, and both bathing and masturbating are 'lobster/lobstering'. Orgasms are making a sparkly, sex is sexytime. I ask him if he luffles/luffs me. We refer to eachother in 3rd person as Bear and Pup. (He is the bear) and butternut and pumpkin are pet names for bedtime only for some reason. We have special names for out favorite/routine meals like Feeshy, prawny, nüdly, snackles, (bbq) reebs and crunchles describes anything like crackers or potato chips. We both tend to go waaa or simply type 'tantrum' when frustrating circumstances arrive. We give eachother snuffles and nuzz nuzz. But never actual baby stuff like calling eachother mummy and daddy or that would be weird. But i cant imagine not speaking to eachother this way. Its our special vocabulary, integral to our emotional intimacy (and taking any awkwardness out of the physical) and sometimes that method just communicates our feelings or intentions more clearly than standard english funnily enough. Importantly, no one is talked to in a condescending way and even though he is older and over a foot taller than me he doesnt use it like an 'im your daddy' power trip thing. I like that he isnt worried about acting macho and isnt afraid to tell me he needs a snuggle or is hungerful. We try to keep our voice down in public but we dont go out much anyway. When doing something important like navigating london we use normal talk but for personal exchanges not related to the immediate surroundings we tend to lapse into our language I like most kinds of roleplay but not adult baby :/

I am infantile in many ways being 5ft looling ten years younger than I am, liking stuffed animals and hello kitty. I do however have my intensely sexual side too. I dont say goo goo ga ga but my BF and I have special words for penis (cakestack), vagina (tastyfish).. Both to do with his chef profession and obsession with seafood.

We tend to pluralize some words or turn nouns into verbs (bed to bedding as in getting into bed) or putting a before things. Like going a sleepies or getting in a cosies. Fart is poot, and both bathing and masturbating are ‘lobster/lobstering’. Orgasms are making a sparkly, sex is sexytime.

I ask him if he luffles/luffs me. We refer to eachother in 3rd person as Bear and Pup. (He is the bear) and butternut and pumpkin are pet names for bedtime only for some reason. We have special names for out favorite/routine meals like Feeshy, prawny, nüdly, snackles, (bbq) reebs and crunchles describes anything like crackers or potato chips.

We both tend to go waaa or simply type ‘tantrum’ when frustrating circumstances arrive. We give eachother snuffles and nuzz nuzz.

But never actual baby stuff like calling eachother mummy and daddy or that would be weird. But i cant imagine not speaking to eachother this way. Its our special vocabulary, integral to our emotional intimacy (and taking any awkwardness out of the physical) and sometimes that method just communicates our feelings or intentions more clearly than standard english funnily enough.

Importantly, no one is talked to in a condescending way and even though he is older and over a foot taller than me he doesnt use it like an ‘im your daddy’ power trip thing. I like that he isnt worried about acting macho and isnt afraid to tell me he needs a snuggle or is hungerful. We try to keep our voice down in public but we dont go out much anyway. When doing something important like navigating london we use normal talk but for personal exchanges not related to the immediate surroundings we tend to lapse into our language

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