Dear Dr. Kate,
My husband sometimes likes to make me “squirt” (the female equivalent of ejaculation). He does this by fingering me really deep and hard. It feels insanely good, but I’m curious… is this safe? Are there any risks involved in doing this, like infections or irritation? Sometimes, because he’s fingering me rather hard, I bleed a little bit, but it often stops within minutes. Is that normal?
— My Cup Runneth Over
When it comes to safety in sex play, your body is often the best judge — if you’re not in pain with a particular activity, then it’s likely safe (apart from infection risk in general). What worries me, though, is that you’re bleeding — bleeding during penetration (unless you’re on your period) is not normal. He may be irritating your cervix, which may be inflamed from an infection, or aggravating a benign polyp. But I’m also concerned that he may be causing a shallow cut in your vagina itself.
I would go see your gyno for an internal exam and testing for vaginal and cervical infections — please tell your doctor what your concerns are, so she knows what to look for. If your exam is completely normal, I would be less worried. As long as his finger is clean and his nails are trimmed, fingering you shouldn’t increase your risk of infection. But the bleeding is a sign that all may not be well.
— Dr. Kate
Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City. She also lectures nationally on women’s health issues and conducts research on reproductive health. Check out more of her advice and ask her a question at Gynotalk.com.