Dear Em & Lo: I Can Orgasm Easily, What’s Wrong with Me?!

photo by naruckid
image from naruckid

Dear Em & Lo,

I’ve never been a girl who has difficulty reaching an orgasm.  I started masturbating in college and learned pretty quickly what I like and what I do.  Now when I’m with a guy, I find that I get off — really quickly and really hard.  With my most recent hook-up, we were fully clothed and I came screaming hard.  I’ve read so much about girls not being able to get off and I’m worried that something might be wrong with me.  And I’m also really worried that guys will think that I’m faking.  What should I do?

— Getting Worried About Getting Off


Now, we try to take every question we get seriously. But come on, this is a joke, right? You can’t possibly be serious!

Okay, okay, we’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and trust for the moment that you’re really concerned about this. Our advice: don’t be! You have a gift — freaking enjoy it!

Yes, plenty of women have trouble reaching orgasm, especially with a partner — whether because they’re young, they don’t masturbate, their partner isn’t providing the right stimulation, they’re not communicating to their partner what the right kind of stimulation is, they have body image issues, they’re stressed or depressed, they’ve experienced sexual trauma in the past, or their plumbing is a little different. For some women — in fact, the majority of women — it can be extra difficult during intercourse since the old in-out often doesn’t provide the kind of clitoral attention they need to reach their happy place. But there are many lucky, lucky women who can reach orgasm fairly effortlessly. This is a good thing.

Now, if you were having spontaneous orgasms every hour — in the middle of an office meeting, during sad movies, while talking to your parents on the phone (there have been cases) — then that could be a problem. But you’re simply orgasming easily when you want to — during masturbation and hookups with guys you like. Again, what’s the problem here?

We think most guys will love your enthusiastic reaction to being with them. If you really fear they’ll start thinking you’re too good to be true, simply reassure them that you’re not faking (unlike some naughty girls): you just happen to know what you want and your body always cooperates wholeheartedly while your mind doesn’t let any hangups get in the way. To be nice, you could also add that you’re just so turned on by the guy in question, he makes it easy! We’re guessing 99.999% of the time they’ll take your word for it.

Now stop your fretting and go with the flow before you give yourself a hangup!

Em & Lo

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30 Comments on "Dear Em & Lo: I Can Orgasm Easily, What’s Wrong with Me?!"

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I am always wet and I come extremely easily. Especially if I have a lot of feelings for someone. One time the guy I liked, before I knew her was there, walked up behind me and said something in my ear. I gushed in my pants. I usually come several times before my guy does and always at the same time. Seeing him come is a definite way to make me come. I also squirt and it gets really wet. I don’t mind coming so much though. Unlike other women with this ability, I don’t get worn out. I can… Read more »

OkAy so I used to be able to have a climax easy but lately it’s just not happening. My husband and I have a good sex relationship and we talk about it all the time. We do the foreplay we do and did mostly everything. I just don’t know why it’s hard for me to have a orgasm now. Any ideas?


I have quick, multiple orgasms. I’m glad I’m not alone. I’ve been masturbating since I was little(i would rub my crotch with my hand. of course, I didn’t know it was masturbation back then.) and I have orgasms every time I masturbate. It only takes me 30 seconds to a minute or so to come. After I come I relax for maybe 10 seconds and then continue masturbating. I can get off by doing what Hep suggested and also by humping furniture or a pillow or something.


Are you kidding me PuPPy ? Don’t say u tried everything just cause u think so.

That is natural, it can be process until ur boddies don’t start to recognize each other. I had same situation with my gf. She told me that she never reached orgasm before in sex until I came into her life ^^.

Anyway, the problem is in ur boyfriend, he need to be more active and imaginative. Tell him to stimulate ur clit during sex or u can do that too. It’s gonna work for sure.


Wow, I’m so glad there’s other women like this. I come extremely quickly full clothed rubbing against my partner’s erection. Like some of the previous commenters, this becomes so annoying because I’m literally done within minutes of starting. I can masturbate by humping the floor, but it still happens within a minute of starting. I always thought my clit was oversensitive or something, as rubbing it directly is almost painful to me. Any tips for prolonging orgasm in this situation?


Me too! I always thought I was oversensitive too! I don’t enjoy being rubbed directly on the clit and I don’t enjoy men going down on me. I’m definitely a wham bam thank you ma’am.


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I used to find it incredibly difficult to climax… but now I find it so easy and have once had over 20 orgasms in the one session. I quirt as well which can make for a very messy experience.

I’m embarrassed by it because I always climax well before my guy does and sometimes he doesn’t even get to cum. I feel like I’m bad at sex because of this even though he reassures me I’m not.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to the days where I had never had an orgasm…