Dear Em & Lo,
I can climax really easily during masturbation, but I have never climaxed with my boyfriend. I really want to try out a toy during sex, as I think it will help, but every time I bring up the topic with my boyfriend he gets defensive about it. He says things like it’ll replace him and that I’ll want the toy more than him, and whatnot. It’s just that I really want to share an orgasm with him. What can I do?
Um, how about you tell your boyfriend that you want him to give up orgasms for 2012. If he complains, tell him that his hesitation makes you think that he cares about his orgasms more than he cares about you. And whatnot. This might help bring your point home…
Or perhaps you want to take a kinder, gentler approach. In which case you could go toy-shopping with him so that he can help you pick out a toy that doesn’t intimidate him so much. We can totally understand him not wanting to share the bed with a work-horse like a massage wand or a multi-tasker like a Rabbit. But what about a soft, flexible love ring with a built-in mini vibrator? Perhaps he wouldn’t feel so one-upped if he was wearing the toy himself. After all, a love ring isn’t much use to you if it’s not wrapped around his penis. (See the video below for an example of how they work.)
If a love ring is too daunting for him at first (after all, those toys are known as “cock rings” in less polite circles), perhaps a finger toy like the Fukuoku Power Pack would work for him. This turns his fingers into magical vibrating digits–again, he’s not being replaced, he’s simply being enhanced with a little battery power. If it makes him feel better you could promise that you’d never use the toy on your own without him.
Then again, we think he should quit his whining and stop being such a selfish jackhole. But that’s just us.
Bad cop, bad cop,
Em & Lo