Dear Em & Lo: Toys Terrify My Boyfriend
Tor 2 Couple’s Ring by Lelo

Dear Em & Lo,

I can climax really easily during masturbation, but I have never climaxed with my boyfriend. I really want to try out a toy during sex, as I think it will help, but every time I bring up the topic with my boyfriend he gets defensive about it. He says things like it’ll replace him and that I’ll want the toy more than him, and whatnot. It’s just that I really want to share an orgasm with him. What can I do?


Dear Unplugged,

Um, how about you tell your boyfriend that you want him to give up orgasms for 2012. If he complains, tell him that his hesitation makes you think that he cares about his orgasms more than he cares about you. And whatnot. This might help bring your point home…

Or perhaps you want to take a kinder, gentler approach. In which case you could go toy-shopping with him so that he can help you pick out a toy that doesn’t intimidate him so much. We can totally understand him not wanting to share the bed with a work-horse like a massage wand or a multi-tasker like a Rabbit. But what about a soft, flexible love ring with a built-in mini vibrator? Perhaps he wouldn’t feel so one-upped if he was wearing the toy himself. After all, a love ring isn’t much use to you if it’s not wrapped around his penis. (See the video below for an example of how they work.)

If a love ring is too daunting for him at first (after all, those toys are known as “cock rings” in less polite circles), perhaps a finger toy like the Fukuoku Power Pack would work for him. This turns his fingers into magical vibrating digits–again, he’s not being replaced, he’s simply being enhanced with a little battery power. If it makes him feel better you could promise that you’d never use the toy on your own without him.

Then again, we think he should quit his whining and stop being such a selfish jackhole. But that’s just us.

Bad cop, bad cop,

Em & Lo

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17 Comments on "Dear Em & Lo: Toys Terrify My Boyfriend"

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My husband and I love the Tor 2. Why not do something different?

Karen Affeldt

I could never understand why some men are so intimidated by sex toys while other men are all for it. Lighten up, guys! A toy will never replace the real thing, it just intensifies my orgasms. Isn’t that what a man would want? I’ll admit that when a men delivers a mind blowing orgasm to me, I follow him around like a puppy (literally, tongue out and tail up) LoL

Just a Girl
“just a guy” Do you really think that every woman can just plop down use a couple fingers and have a great orgasm?! Something tells you haven’t asked too many… I CAN NOT orgasm without a vibrator and not for a lack of trying. However toys aren’t meant to replace my boyfriend just like “oohlookasquirrel” described, my toys cant do anything my man can, but yet i still want a happy ending too. My boyfriend also see’s my small bullet as a “it can do what i cant” and its unfortunate because as “unplugged” mentioned i really just want to… Read more »
Alexa Semonche

I really like this article. Im f


Why do women date such close minded people. I’m sure he masturbates. Does he think his hand will replace his girlfriend?

What a nightmare.

just a guy

Funny how chicks go on and on about not having an orgasm or something like ding-a-ling size yet sit there at home getting themselves off with a couple fingers…go figure.Women tend to be insecure/fragile creatures who enjoy dishing criticism out but usually can’t take it when it comes their way.Ive come to the conclusion that some women are monetary vultures who do not desire a decent guy but would much rather complain and diddle themselves w/ their 200 dollar dildos than actually contribute anything to a relationship.JMO


…Uh…if it is absolutely necessary for the man to have his orgasm, then maybe I could understand comparing a “boob apparatus” to a vibrator. But…no. Not the same. She is not reaching climax–period. You can’t compare the two. Especially not when many vibrators are just that, vibrators, and not a substitute for the organ (penis) itself–whereas a “boob apparatus” (whatever the hell that is)somehow makes a partner’s body seem inadequate.