Be a Kinder, Gentler Breaker-Upper

no_dumping_signphoto by aturkus

When breaking up with someone after one or a handful of dates, remember that it’s not just Blanche who depends on the kindness of strangers. So here’s how to be a little bit nicer about the fact that you don’t, actually, want to embark on a beautiful relationship with them: Be specific about the qualities you admire in them (e.g. their excellent taste in domestic beer, their mad poker skills), and very general about those that make a relationship impossible (avoid mentioning that you could never be seen in public with someone who wears Docksiders). Blame it on a lack of chemistry or click — being dumped is never quite as painful when you can chalk it up to “chemistry.”

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3 Comments on "Be a Kinder, Gentler Breaker-Upper"

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One thing that bothers me is a woman who can’t tell the truth and just be honest. Like when she says she is interested, but her actions say otherwise. Hiding behind that old, “I was taught to ‘Be nice'” BS is so adolescent. Be a woman. If she wants to end it, end it. Just be up-front and honest. It is less painful in the long run. Guys, do the same. Be straight. Be honest. Have some integrity for Pete’s sake. “I’m sorry. I wish there were some chemistry, but there just isn’t,” is a lot easier than being lied… Read more »

Re: Johnny’s comment

I think your suggestion would actually be more painful. I would rather have someone tell me that there’s no chemistry than feel like they’ve chosen someone else over me.

But I have a history of dating guys who aren’t over their exes, so it might just be a personal issue.


Or tell them an old flame who you have much history with has come back into your life.

It’s a lie, but it’s indisputable. Always works, least painful way.