4/17/09
Altoids as Sex Toy: Fact or Fiction?

altoidsphoto by Mistral938

This “curiously strong mint” with sexy ad tag lines (“Pleasure in pain”; “These mints have not yet been rated”; “Shrinkage may occur”; “Dental Damn!”) was the subject of a widely circulated 1997 email extolling the mints’ powers as an oral sex aid. (Hmmmm, we wonder who originally sent that email? Could it be…Altoids?!) The faux email reached widespread urban legend status when it was referenced in that noted collection of hot erotica, Kenneth Starr’s impeachment report: Monica Lewinsky handed the prez a printout of the email while she herself was sucking on an Altoid (cheeky monkey). The jury’s still out on whether it’s all hype — Snopes doesn’t know what to think, and apparently Bill rebuffed Monica’s minty advances, meaning even the Starr Report can’t enlighten us. But if you’re going to, er, look into the matter yourself, sensitive vagina owners beware: getting anything with sugars in and around your sensitive bits might lead to irritation or infection. So do your own research — whether with Altoids, Tic Tacs, Fisherman’s Friend, or Hall’s Mentholyptus — at your own risk. Those who throw caution to the wind should report back here.



22 Comments

  1. Don’t do it. I’ve been trying to figure out why I’m dealing with chronic yeast infections and as soon as my partner and I stopped using them during oral sex the problem stopped occurring. :/

    1. Oh no! So sorry to hear that. Yeah, we probably should have mentioned that this little oral trick is not for sensitive vaginas. (And it sounds like you have one of those.) Some women have vaginas of steel — they can play around with whipped cream and chocolate sauce and all sorts of other sticky substances without ever getting a yeast infection. Sorry you’re not so lucky! But glad you figured out the problem…

  2. about the last comment i was that excited that we were going to try it that i didnt say how long iwas going to give it ,( 1 hour ) lmao

  3. i dont know about altoids but ive been told about fishermans friend work so give it about and the wife will be home from work and we will have a go.

  4. I HIGHLY recommend a mouthful of Wendy’s frosty for an awesome bj. It’s the cold like ice but not too cold or hard. It’s mushy and it sloshes around giving an amazing mix of warm and cold sensations all at once.

  5. Yes it’s AWESOME. Only if it’s a little peppermint altoid and not so much it freezes your sex off. Peppermint is all we’ve used.

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